Messy Friendship Lessons

"A friend to all is a friend to none." According to TikTok, if I stay friends with someone who hurt my friend, it is betrayal! Some would go as far as to call me a fake friend. But that is easy to say when your friend has fallen out with an acquaintance, or better yet a stranger. What do you do when the two people at odds are both your friends? Where does your loyalty lie when you can genuinely see it from both sides? So can you stay a friend to all, or do you eventually have to pick? Gauri and I have both danced this line, just from opposite ends. I used to be defender of the nations, always getting involved and picking sides, and it bit me in the bum every time, so now I am little miss neutral. Gauri was the neutral one, telling herself it was their beef and nothing to do with her, until that bit her in the bum too and hurt her friends, and now she leans the other way. So where do we draw the line, and how on earth do you handle two friends fighting: should you pick a side?

Is my friend using me? Gosh, I hope not! But when you start to notice a pattern of take, take, take, you cannot help but feel like something is off. Especially when you stop giving and they suddenly lash out or disappear. One of you reached out with exactly this dilemma: a friend who stayed at yours rent free for six months, who you then asked for £150 when you started to struggle financially, only to be aired and gossiped about to all your other friends. That hurts. And it led us into a proper unpacking: how do you tell when a friend is using you, what are the warning signs, what does using someone even mean, and where do we draw the line between that and the normal give and take that happens naturally in friendship? Sometimes you might even have to ask yourself, am I the user? If you have ever side eyed a friendship wondering if it is a bit one sided, this is for you. And if you have ever had a friend use you emotionally, financially, or take advantage of your generosity, pull up a chair. This table is for you. It is time to figure out how to spot a user.

Ever felt like you've got loads of friends but you're close to none of them? Like you're nobody's first call, floating through every group and belonging to none? There's a name for it now, thanks to TikTok: the floater friend.

In this episode, my sister and I, both recovering floaters, sit down to ask why am I the floater friend? We get into what it actually feels like, why it happens, and the one thing that changed everything for us both: vulnerability. Not the trauma-dumping kind, but the quieter, scarier kind. The kind where you let people in, share in real time, ask for help, and invite your friends into your actual life. We keep it honest too. Sometimes you're not the problem. You're just barking up the wrong tree, trying to get close to people who just aren't interested in that closeness with you, when the friends who actually want it might be somewhere you haven't looked yet. If you've ever felt like you're floating, this one's for you. And as always, let God surprise you. There are people who love you far more than you realise.

Grief and pain have a way of shifting your perspective.

The irony isn’t lost on me that I came to you in 2025 with hard truths, only to realise in 2026 that I had been living with quiet lies, beliefs I’d accepted for so long that it took hurt and disappointment to finally expose them.

This episode isn’t a rewrite of those hard truths. It’s the burial of old beliefs that were slowly eroding intimacy in my friendships and would have led me down a lonely road.

Thank you Jesus, I realised this sooner rather than later!

These lies need to go. Quickly. Finally.

So let’s grab a shovel.It’s time to bury a lie.

I hate my friend’s boyfriend! He’s a liar/cheater/loser/user/toad and she’s a beautiful angel baby princess who deserves so much better. But no matter what I say, she loves that man and keeps going back. What does she even see in him?!

If you can relate, same. But there are two sides to this mess and my guest knows the other one very well… because she’s the friend whose boyfriend everyone else hated. And nothing anyone said changed her mind either.

So what should friends actually do in this situation? What should we say? And how do you keep a man from coming between your friendship?

Join us as we dive into the drama and swap hilarious horror stories of horrible boyfriends. Because truly… it’s friendship over foolishness, every time.

Humble pie is best served hot—with a side of audacity—and often laced with jealousy or moral superiority. Frankly, I do not want a slice!!

The truth? To the insecure, confidence looks like pride, and insecurity masquerades as humility. But real humility isn’t thinking less of yourself—it’s thinking of others more. Biblically, it’s about valuing others above yourself, not denying your worth or shrinking your gifts. Confidence should never be mistaken for Pride. Unlike Pride it doesn’t compare or lord itself over others; it simply walks with its head held high. True humility serves—without pretending to be small.

So come, let's talk about the times I was served humble pie and why I have chosen to handle it like Barbie!

Raise your hand if you’ve ever not been invited to something. More than once? By your friends?! Not being invited sucks, but l think it’s a universal experience!

It’s easy to label the person who didn’t invite you as the villian: a mean, fake friend excluding you without a thought for your feelings. But I don’t think it’s always that simple. Sometimes, the reason you weren’t invited has nothing to do with unkindness or secretly not liking you—it might just be a matter of circumstance.

In fact, I’d go as far as to say that 80% of the time, it’s not malicious.

But what about the other 20%? Don’t worry, we’ll get into how to handle those situations where exclusion is intentional.

So, before you jump to conclusions, pause for a moment and ask yourself: could there be more to why I wasn’t invited?

You might not like what I have to say in this episode, but I have to keep it real with you. If people keep cancelling last minute or not showing up to your birthday parties, I fear you might be doing something wrong.

I know how gut-wrenching and heart-breaking this must be. However, if this keeps happening, your guests might not be the villains here. Instead, you could be committing one of the four birthday party crimes. I’m going to break it all down for you and give you the action points you need to break the curse. If you listen with an open heart, I promise you’ll never, ever have a cursed birthday party again.

I love Valentine’s Day, and I love LOVE! Yet, I feel so many of us have misunderstood it. Last year, I wrote a love letter to my friends. This year, I’m penning a letter to you.

The culture has warped our minds, making us more self-seeking and less appreciative of the people who have always been there for us. And I’ve identified the culprit—the root cause, if you will. It’s the mischaracterisation of love.

When love is reduced to a fleeting feeling, it leads to complacency and taking others for granted. But love isn’t a feeling—it’s an action, a choice, and a covenant.

As you figuratively read this letter—or more so as I read it to you—I hope it encourages you this Valentine’s Day to fight against the hyper-focus on self. Let’s rediscover the value of serving, appreciating, and loving our friends through our actions.

This Valentine’s Day, I’m celebrating intentional love. Will you join me?

The school playground is gone, and third spaces are disappearing. Now that I’m in my 20s, how do I make friends?

Scrolling through TikTok, one thing is alarmingly clear: a lot of

We could blame hyper-individualism, the rising selfishness mislabelled as self-care, or the demanding working lives of young people. But the truth is, meaningful friendships require one thing: intentionality. If you search for community, you will find it.

My guest, Dayo, knows this firsthand. After moving to Manchester, she had to start from scratch in the friendship department. Meanwhile, I spent 2024 intentionally seeking out and cultivating new friendships.

Join us in this episode as we share our thoughts, stories, and reflections on finding friends and building community in your 20s. Whether you’ve moved to a new city, are searching for your group of girls, or simply want to grow and expand your circle, our experiences might offer some guidance—or at least make you feel seen.