Messy Friendship Lessons

The school playground is gone, and third spaces are disappearing. Now that I’m in my 20s, how do I make friends?

Scrolling through TikTok, one thing is alarmingly clear: a lot of

We could blame hyper-individualism, the rising selfishness mislabelled as self-care, or the demanding working lives of young people. But the truth is, meaningful friendships require one thing: intentionality. If you search for community, you will find it.

My guest, Dayo, knows this firsthand. After moving to Manchester, she had to start from scratch in the friendship department. Meanwhile, I spent 2024 intentionally seeking out and cultivating new friendships.

Join us in this episode as we share our thoughts, stories, and reflections on finding friends and building community in your 20s. Whether you’ve moved to a new city, are searching for your group of girls, or simply want to grow and expand your circle, our experiences might offer some guidance—or at least make you feel seen.

Last year, I shared 24 friendship rules for 2024. This year, we’re stripping it back—five hard truths, five difficult pills to swallow, but ones I am embracing and carrying into 2025 with fierceness.

2024 was a year of profound changes felt around the world. The beauty of change and challenges is how they teach and shape us. These truths were born from the shifts in friendship I experienced last year.

I have learnt that grace and forgiveness are essential, but so is wisdom. In 2025, let’s step boldly into friendships that are intentional, fruitful, and nourish the soul. I pray you walk into 2025 with wisdom.

The way Jesus was a friend is CRAZY! CEO of ride-or-die AND “I’ go die love” literally! Imagine coming back from a long, exhausting trip, and instead of resting, you say, “Relax, I’ll wash your feet.” Hello? Who does that?!

Jesus did—even for friends who would later betray him. I have not witnessed that level of service in friendships today. So, what does it really mean to love your friends? To serve them in a way that puts their needs above yours? And is this kind of friendship even possible in our self-serving society?

Believing in Jesus isn’t a prerequisite for this episode, but we’re diving deep into a friendship that flips the script on what connection looks like. Join us as we have an honest conversation about service and sacrifice that challenge everything we know about friendship.

Imagine giving someone a gift for free, then charging them for it later—and getting upset when they don’t pay. Sounds crazy, right? Yet that’s exactly what I was doing —and I know I’m not alone.

At the start of 2024, I was burnt out. I had a few close friendships where I felt like I was pouring and pouring, but not receiving the same in return. So, I decided to try something I’d always been firmly against: matching energy.

This is the way to avoid getting hurt—just give back what you receive. It didn’t work. My feelings were still hurt, and in trying to protect myself, I became a friend I didn’t recognise. I punished all my other beautiful friendships for the pain caused by a few. I became someone who kept score, held back, and lost the ability to love selflessly.

Matching energy failed me, but so did pouring recklessly. So, what works? Pouring intentionally. And it all began to click for me on April 7th, when I made a list…

"She doesn’t need me—she’s got her other friends…" But hold up, when did being needed become the golden ticket to friendship? In this episode, let’s enter the ‘Need to Be Needed Club,’ where membership depends on being indispensable. We'll unpack why "being wanted" sometimes gets side-eyed while "being needed" feels like the VIP lounge of friendship. Spoiler alert: true friendships thrive on choice, not necessity. Ready to rethink what it means to be valued? Hit play to explore why "want" might just be the ultimate friendship flex.

Friends, gather 'round, for I have an important declaration

A friend is involved in your life, while a catch-up friend just hears about it later... Can you really call someone your best friend if you only connect every three months, and all you do is catch up? This episode isn't a critique of catch-up friendships—there’s definitely value in them, and who doesn't love a good debrief? But if all your friendships are like this, who’s truly walking through life with you? The danger of having your closest friendships reduced to quarterly updates is that you end up on the sidelines of each other's lives. As adults, we lost the shared spaces that naturally maintained our friendships, so we need to be intentional in spending time together and creating lasting bonds. Join us as we share our thoughts on catch-up friendships and how we strive to be intentional in our connections. If you’re stuck in a catch-up rut with your close friend or bestie, this episode might help you break free!

Imagine my absolute horror as I scrolled on TikTok and realised that so many girlies are feeling lonely?! This earth-shattering realisation made my heart yearn for my soul sisters plagued by this torment. I HAD TO DO SOMETHING. So I began to write my heart on to paper, or in this case type it...my confessions. In the hopes it will give the girlies solace and they can find a way out of the sunken place through my words. As I too have walked the rocky path of loneliness before.  (This is good right? I’m turning up the dramatics by channelling my inner Lola Step) Here lies my melodramatic confessions of a Lonely Drama Queen. A letter of comfort to the sisters of my soul!

Raise your hand if you've ever introduced two friends, only to watch them become closer and start to drift away from you. You've experienced the Matchmaker's Curse. It sucks, and we know it all too well. But before you wallow in self-pity, let us help you change your perspective.

Join us as we crack down on why this happens, candidly share our own experiences, and offer some practical advice. And to spice things up, we've also been on the other side of things... Spoiler alert: the two friends aren’t always the villains.

So let's laugh our way through the messy, ugly, and jealous world of the Matchmaker's Curse!

Friendship advice is trending. Yet the conversation seems to be heavily focused on the failings of others to be good friends to us. Red flags in friendship, beware of this type of person and don’t trust people with this behaviour. That message is needed. But allow me to flip the script… what about you? Are you a good friend? Have you reflected on and assessed yourself? Do you know what it takes? Do you know how to? If this has made you pause and think, good. Me too! On the other hand, if you have already crowned yourself a great friend, good. Come put your conclusion to the test! Join us to reflect on ourselves as we give you How to Be a Good Friend for Dummies.