On this short episode of Messy Middlescence, Tina and Tara share the idea of a "Favorite Things Party" and how they use it with their family and friends.

Happy New Year! In place of New Year resolutions, consider creating an annual "theme" instead. In this episode we discuss the how and why around creating a theme in hopes of motivating others to do the same.

In this short podcast episode, we discuss how the holiday season has evolved over the years, from the excitement of gift giving to the importance of spending quality time with loved ones. We explore the challenges of finding meaningful presents for adult children and the delicate balance between tradition and adapting to new circumstances. With children growing older, we have to navigate the complexities of holiday celebrations and the shifting dynamics of family gatherings. We share our desire for more quality time together, and the possibility of new additions at future holiday gatherings. Through it all, we want to embrace the fleetingness of this unique stage in life and focus on what truly matters during the holidays.

This is our last podcast episode for 2023. We will be taking a holiday break until after the new year.

We wish you a wonderful holiday season filled with love and joy.

This episode is part 2 of our conversation with Alan Harkness. It delves deep into difficult aspects of middlescence, particularly the challenges of caring for aging parents and the loss of a parent. Alan shares his personal experiences of moving his disabled mother into his home after his father's passing and the subsequent decision to transition her to an assisted living facility. He discusses the emotional strains and the importance of setting boundaries to protect his own well-being and maintain a healthy relationship with his spouse. Alan talks about the stress and emotional burden of managing his mother's health issues while trying to balance his marriage, parenting, and work responsibilities. He shares valuable lessons and advice for those going through similar situations, stressing the importance of asking for help, proactive estate planning, and taking care of oneself amidst the demands of middlescence.

At the end of the interview, we tried something new with Tina and I discussing the interview and what stood out for each of us. We then present a poem, "The Happiest Day" by Linda Pastan which beautifully articulates the feeling of knowing yet not believing that your parents will die.  

On today's episode of Messy Middlescence, we talk with Alan Harkness, the husband of our oldest sister, Amy. 

Alan shares his inspiring life story, starting with his journey from almost failing out of college to becoming a renowned library director. He discusses his passion for libraries and the joy he finds in his work, as well as the challenges and rewards of leadership. Alan emphasizes the importance of relationships in both personal and professional life, highlighting how building trust and connections with others can lead to success. He shares his strategies for achieving a healthy work-life balance, including the significance of exercise for mental well-being. Looking ahead, Alan discusses his plans for retirement and how he hopes to continue contributing to his community through teaching and other activities. This episode offers valuable insights into finding meaning, navigating change, and prioritizing relationships in middleescence.

This is the first of two episodes with Alan.

This episode focuses more on his professional life and growth. The next episode will talk about recently losing his mother and the journey of having her move in with them for 6.5 years before going into an assisted living home.

Here are some of the highlights from today's episode:

Today on Messy Middlescence, we talk with Amy Harkness who shares her experience as a medical librarian and mother of four children. Amy discusses her health struggles during middlescence and the frustration of not being taken seriously by doctors. She questions how much of her changing body is due to normal aging and how much is a sign of an underlying issue. Amy also reflects on the impact of menopause and the unexpected symptoms she has encountered post menopause. She talks about her journey in maintaining a healthy lifestyle and the challenges she faces in balancing exercise and self-care. Despite the difficulties, Amy remains optimistic and emphasizes the importance of finding joy and fulfillment in this stage of life. 

Some of the highlights from this episode are:

Today's episode of Messy Middlescence is with our youngest brother, Tom Conti. Tom is a gifted athlete, excellent student (majoring in computer science and math), devoted father, husband and friend, as well as super successful in his business endeavors. He is also thoughtful, down-to-earth and fun to be around.  In a previous episode titled “taking the leap”, we interviewed Tom’s wife, Anne Mielke Conti, who had recently left her job to spend more time with their kids.  We get to hear how Anne’s big leap has affected their lives.  Tom as an unusual combination in today’s world – someone who is extremely successful and ambitious in his career but equally successful and ambitious with his family and work-life balance.  While there is a great deal of “lip service” paid to  work-life balance, Tom is committed to  living these values. He and Anne are excellent examples of living intentionally and crafting a life on their own terms.  

Highlights from this episode include:

Today’s episode was recorded back in June right after school let out. Due to busy and conflicting schedules it took us until the fall to get our podcast live. 

This episode is with Anne Meilke Conti. She is the wife of our youngest brother, Tom, and at the time of this interview had recently quit her job to spend more time with her family. Anne and Tom have three children. Anne has had a successful career for the past 20 years working for two healthcare information technology companies. We were excited to talk to Anne to learn more about her and this major change in her life. She had many words of wisdom and eye-opening perspectives for us. She is an admired business leader AND is an amazing mother who prioritizes her family and relationships.

There was so much good stuff that we almost made this interview into a two parter. After some debate, we decided to keep it as one longer episode.

Although Anne is on the younger end of “middlescence”, Anne’s courage in making such a significant job and life change will inspire anyone contemplating taking a leap that greatly alters your life.

In this episode we ask Anne:     

Highlights from “Taking the Leap” with Anne Conti       

This podcast episode delves into the concept of Middlescence, a transitional period between the ages of 40 and 60 characterized by the need for change and a sense of running out of time. Tara interviews her sister Tina to learn more about her story and experiences. Tina reflects on her idyllic childhood, challenging adolescence, fun college years, and hardworking twenties and thirties. She shares how moving to a new school in her junior year of high school had a significant impact on her, and how college provided a fresh start and the opportunity to form deep friendships. Tina discusses her brief stint in a PhD program, career choices, and her decision to become a full-time homemaker. She emphasizes the importance of family, physical activity, and community connections. Tina also expresses her desire for future work that extends beyond her immediate family and the need to embrace new experiences to avoid regrets.

Premier eposide of our podcast, "Messy Middlescence" featuring the introduction of one of our hosts, Tara Bansal. 

In this episode: