What does it look like when gay, queer, and trans people who were deeply formed by Catholicism sit down and speak honestly—without caricatures, slogans, or outrage?In this roundtable conversation, former and current Catholic insiders share their stories of faith, deconstruction, relationships, theology, and rebuilding a life after coming out. Many of us were theology students, pro-life activists, Latin Mass attendees, or church workers. We know the tradition intimately—and that’s why these conversations matter.This isn’t about winning arguments or tearing down the Church. It’s about telling the truth of lived experience, breaking down stereotypes on all sides, and creating space for deeper empathy, connection, and honesty.If you’re Catholic, queer, questioning, deconstructing, or trying to love someone who is—this conversation is for you.00:00 – Life Beyond Catholic Caricatures02:00 – Stories, Faith, and Deconstruction03:10 – Theology of the Body and Queer Experience05:00 – Desire, Love, and Real Relationships07:40 – What Changed After Coming Out11:00 – Normal Life, Privilege, and Safety18:30 – Building a Life with Openness and Joy

Content warning: This conversation includes discussions of suicide, mental health crises, and related topics. If you're struggling, call or text 988. I spent a weekend with a group of people who grew up in intense Catholic environments. We all ended up in different places. Some are in the Church, some are out. I asked: raise your hand if you at some point had to fight for survival because of messages or struggles within the Church.One person shared: "The Church doesn't know what to do with queer and trans people. You have voices that say marriage is off the table, priesthood is off the table because you're spiritually immature, and the single life isn't virtuous. I caught myself thinking about no longer being here, not because I hated everything, but if there's only three options and all of them are off the table, what is it that I do here?" Another said: "The Church became my chosen family, my entire life. I had always had the vocation of being a wife and mother on my heart. I was racking my brain—I could be a consecrated single and foster children, but the Church would still say they deserve a father and mother. To live a life authentic to myself and to the person I felt God was calling me to be, I was going to lose everyone and everything."For many, the worst part was isolation. "I was a missionary with FOCUS building friendships with people, but I had to show up every day with only 40% of who I was because I couldn't share that I'm condemning myself because I thought a guy on the street looked cute. What I needed was someone to let me be honest, to let me talk about this. If 'affirming' makes you think you're gonna set them up with a match, take a step back. It is simply being that listening ear." We've thought about these issues more than most straight Catholics ever will. We've listened to all the talks, all the books, talked to the priests. We've done it all. The documents you think you can fix your friend with—we've already listened to them. If you want to keep your friends Catholic, just listen.00:00 Introduction: Growing Up Indestructible02:00 Survival and the Church's Stance on LGBTQ+04:37 Personal Stories of Faith and Identity07:33 Isolation and Seeking Help13:34 Mental Health and Religious Discernment17:32 Reality vs. Doctrine20:27 Conclusion: Finding Beauty in Grief and Suffering

Content warning: This conversation includes discussions of purity culture, suicide, mental health struggles, and related topics. I spent a weekend with a group of people—former insiders who grew up in intense Catholic environments. We all ended up in different places today. Some are in the Church, some are out. We spent a weekend having conversations about our lives and what all of this means.The Catechism says chastity is the successful integration of sexuality within the person. One person shared about doing Theology of the Body for Teens at age 12—it emphasized dignity but for her meant shutting down her sexuality entirely because she wanted to be a nun. Others thought they were really good at chastity until they realized they weren't having the struggles their peers had because they were gay, not because they were virtuous. One person said: "I thought it was easy to not have sex with your boyfriend. Turns out I was just lesbian." For transgender Catholics, theology of the body presented prescriptive gender roles that didn't match their experience. The messaging was: "You're supposed to trust your intuition, but not you because you're messed up."Conservative Catholic culture paints two binaries: perfectly ordered integrated sexuality with happy families, or chaos. But Catholics are just as sexually dysfunctional as anyone else. Sex controls your life less when you leave than while white-knuckling your way to heaven. The American Catholic Church has staked so much of what it means to be Catholic on specific culture war issues. But it won't plant the flag on businesses that don't pay employees a living wage. A deconstructed sexuality is much more diverse, much more in line with finding truth, goodness and beauty. There is complexity. Sit with those emotions instead of just grabbing for a definition.00:00 Introduction and Background02:39 Discussing LGBTQ Spaces and Politics02:58 Personal Journeys with Catholicism07:11 Chastity and Integration11:18 Impact of Chastity Teachings17:46 Purity Culture and Queer Erasure19:12 Transgender Experiences in Catholicism20:09 Theology of the Body and Gender Dysphoria30:23 Historical and Modern Queer Catholic Narratives36:55 Concluding Thoughts and Reflections

Dr. Joseph Nicolosi Jr. inherited conversion therapy practices from his father and has considerable influence on the Catholic community. He's been promoted by Lila Rose, the Ruth Institute, Fresh Catholic Podcast, and EWTN. He recently submitted a legal brief about Colorado's conversion therapy ban.

Nicolosi rebranded his efforts as "reintegrative therapy" or "sexual attraction fluidity therapy," claiming his treatments are safe, effective, and backed by research. I examined his legal brief to validate these claims.

Nicolosi cites two studies. The first is a 2021 study by Carolyn Pela and Philip Sutton. The abstract suggests 75 participants were evaluated over two years. But if you examine table three, only 75 participants took part in the first 6 months—only 22 remained for the full 2 years. This isn't made clear in the text.

The study recruited exclusively men who were seeking the outcome it advertised. Men actively seeking changes rated their sexual thoughts over two years. The shifts for those 22 were hardly significant—less than a one-point change on a five-point scale. Between 18-24 months, participants saw reduction in opposite-sex attraction and increase in same-sex attraction. The study has exclusively men and cannot make claims about general human sexuality.

The 2024 study Nicolosi relies on was conducted by himself and Jacek Szandula. I searched for Szandula and found he was likely an economics professor with no mental health credentials. The study examined memory reconsolidation for unwanted sexually arousing memories with 144 students. All groups reported decrease in arousal related to memories. This shows promise for treating traumatic memories but has NOT been found effective to promote sexual fluidity.

The study states "generalizability for women is limited because nearly 90% of participants were male." Given Nicolosi uses this to support claims that reintegrative therapy is generally helpful, he's misrepresenting his own work.

These studies illustrate why one should be skeptical of Nicolosi, the Reintegrative Therapy Association, ATCSI, and the Journal of Human Sexuality.

00:00 Introduction: Dr. Joseph Nicolosi Jr.'s Influence

01:17 Two Studies Nicolosi Uses to Defend Conversion Therapy

03:00 The 2021 Study: Only 22 of 75 Participants Remained

05:48 The Study Recruited Men Seeking the Advertised Outcome

07:07 Less Than One-Point Change on a Five-Point Scale

07:32 The 2024 Study: Co-Author Was an Economics Professor

09:47 The Study Shows Promise for Trauma Treatment, Not Sexual Fluidity

10:15 Nicolosi Is Misrepresenting His Own Work

Chris is joined by Laura Kelly Fanucci and Jacqui Skemp to discuss the intense presence of ICE's immigration enforcement in Minnesota and how they are responding and processing it as local Catholics. They share personal experiences and feelings of guilt, anxiety, and the struggle to balance activism with everyday responsibilities. They highlight the importance of community support and the various ways individuals are responding to the crisis, from direct action to family-oriented approaches. Emphasizing a need for compassion and attention to justice, they process the emotional toll of this moment, unpacking Catholic social teaching, managing friendships across divides, and the role of faith leaders in protesting. Together, they explore the nuances of navigating personal beliefs, community engagement, and the role of faith in times of crisis, ultimately highlighting the beauty that can emerge even in the darkest moments.00:00 Introductions10:04 Navigating Guilt and Community Involvement18:29 Emotional Challenges and Parenting During Unrest25:10 The Emotional Toll of Injustice26:51 The Reality of Brutality and Accountability30:06 Personal Experiences and Generational Trauma33:58 The Role of Allyship in Activism35:48 Finding Compassion in Shared Suffering40:50 Navigating Complex Moral Landscapes43:38 The Challenge of Compassion in Faith Communities51:00 Practical Steps for Community Engagement01:00:11 Awakening to Action01:02:01 The Role of Faith in Crisis01:03:30 Community and Mutual Aid01:05:04 Disconnection from Institutional Church01:08:32 Finding Beauty Amidst Horror01:12:09 Taking Action from Beyond Minnesota

Immigration attorney Rachel Davis—self-proclaimed “Dairy Queen” and mom of a yogurt-obsessed 4-year-old—joins lawyer and gay Catholic writer Chris Damian to pull back the curtain on the hidden immigrant labor behind America’s food supply. They talk TN visas for animal breeders, how COVID border shutdowns almost broke major dairies, the chaos of the $100,000 H-1B fee, and why current immigration policy feels less about safety and more about cruelty. Rachel shares her perspective as a Jewish lawyer reading Project 2025, draws unsettling parallels to 20th-century history, and explains why targeting “grandmas and farmworkers” instead of violent criminals is bad ethics and bad economics. It’s a deep dive into immigration, economics, faith, and what it really means to show up when a system turns dehumanizing.00:00 Introduction and Catching Up04:13 Rachel's Dairy Law Specialization11:58 Impact of COVID-19 on Immigration and Agriculture18:50 Immigration Policies and Challenges28:58 The Impact of H1B Visa Changes30:52 The $100,000 Fee Panic33:38 The Broader Implications of Immigration Policies34:45 Comparisons to Historical Regimes38:54 The Human Cost of Deportations43:01 The Role of Public Perception and Misinformation48:22 The Importance of Advocacy and Action

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Meg Hunter-Kilmer has become “the Catholic saints lady” for a reason. In this conversation, she joins Chris to talk about how the lives of the saints can anchor us in an anxious, polarized, and often unjust world—especially for immigrants, the undocumented, and those who feel like they don’t belong in the Church or in the heart of God.

Meg shares stories of saints and blesseds who protested fascism, slept in migrant camps as bishops, were arrested dozens of times, or were literally undocumented immigrants killed in part for their legal status. She also highlights saints who struggled with illness, suicidal ideation, infertility, and bad personalities—reminding us that holiness doesn’t erase our rough edges.

00:00 The Importance of Saints

03:49 Saints as Models in Challenging Times

05:00 Examples of Saints in Oppression

06:28 Saints and Privilege

16:45 Saints in Unjust Imprisonment

23:44 Jewish Solidarity and Empowerment

24:09 Catholic Communities and Empowerment

31:05 Diverse Personalities of Saints

32:56 Community and Ingroup Dynamics

36:00 Responding to Suffering with Action

41:02 Connecting with Saints

The ex-gay movement never really went away—it just rebranded. From “reparative therapy” to “healing ministries,” Catholic leaders continue to promote the same discredited ideas about homosexuality under new names. In this episode, I dig into how these theories shape Catholic seminaries, influence pastoral care, and fuel ongoing harm in the Church. We’ll explore why conversion therapy bans don’t go far enough, how ex-gay narratives slip under the radar, and what LGBTQ+ Catholics need to watch for when seeking support. I discuss the work of Courage International, Joseph Nicolsoi, Elizabeth Moberly, Timothy Lock, NARTH, Richard Cohen, and more!00:00 The Ex-Gay Movement's Influence on Catholicism00:43 Understanding Conversion Therapy vs. Reparative Therapy02:16 The Ex-Gay Narrative and Its Psychological Underpinnings05:34 Controversial Practices and Legal Challenges08:16 Rebranding and Subtle Continuation of Harmful Theories12:30 A Healthier Approach for LGBTQ+ Catholics

I’ve spent years digging into the Catholic Church’s approach to sexuality, and in this episode I take a hard look at the work of Dr. Bob Schuchts and the John Paul II Healing Center. From conferences costing up to $1,100 per week, to seminary workshops that push bizarre ex-gay theories, to gaslighting clients who challenge his methods—this story reveals how Catholic psychology has been twisted into pseudoscience. Along the way, I connect Schuchts’s work to the abuse crisis, conspiracy thinking, and the Church’s ongoing struggle with sexuality.

Danny Peterson, ordained in 2016 in Newark and now a therapist in Salt Lake City, walks through the real mechanics of ex-gay culture inside Catholic spaces: chastity “support” groups that were conversion therapy / SOCE, Journey Into Manhood weekends, minor exorcisms, and diocesan referrals to therapists using unscientific, often unethical methods. He unpacks the “double bind” (“God loves you… but change first”), how parent-blaming scripts fractured families, and why institutional loyalty can normalize incompetence. We talk about leaving ministry, rebuilding community, dating with values, living sober and ordered (8 hours of sleep, prayer, hikes, drag shows and dancing), and practicing therapy with informed consent and boundaries—supporting clients’ own ethics without coercion. If you’ve been told your only choices are secrecy or sin, Danny offers a third path: integrity, friendship, and a faith that isn’t at war with reality.00:00 Danny's Background and Journey to Priesthood02:40 Experiences with Conversion Therapy Camps05:04 Critique of Conversion Therapy Practices13:22 Personal Reflections and Moving Forward21:51 Navigating Traditional Christian Sexual Ethics23:10 The Double Bind of Conversion Therapy26:03 Embracing Queer Life and Joy29:41 Reflections on Conversion Therapy's Impact32:47 Professional Boundaries and Therapy39:24 Looking Forward: Personal and Professional Growth41:27 Concluding Thoughts on Faith and Identity