In this episode of Middle Fingers Up, I sit  down with Nisha Mody, the relational and trauma-informed coach known online as Healing Hype Girl. Nisha shares her raw journey from a childhood marked by strict expectations and silenced playfulness to navigating codependency in a marriage to an addict, ultimately choosing divorce, childfree living, and reclaiming her voice. Together, we get into the common struggles of South Asian women—living on autopilot, breaking harmful cycles from family conditioning, and creating new norms rooted in self-worth, boundaries, and joy.

Nisha offers practical insights on unlearning people-pleasing, identifying core values, and fostering interdependence in relationships, while touching on broader themes like global impact post-October 7th, consumerism, and collective healing. Whether you're an overthinker seeking clarity or ready to disrupt patriarchal patterns, Nisha's story and tools will inspire you to meet yourself where you're at and embrace radical self-expression.

Tune in for reflections, actionable advice, and a teaser for part two on patriarchy, misogyny, and modern dating. Follow Nisha on Instagram and TikTok @healinghypegirl for more on her upcoming memoir, coaching programs, and Substack Memoirs of Amnesia. What cycles are you ready to break?

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If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to [email protected]. Thank you for listening!

In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuut’ina, the Îyâxe Nakoda Nations, the Métis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta.

Be A Tiger is an episode about what it really means to grow up as a South Asian girl who’s told to be strong… while also being told to stay quiet, stay small, and don’t make anyone uncomfortable.

In this conversation with award-winning author Kelly Kaur, we step into the world of Letters to Singapore through Simran — this young brown girl who is trying to hold herself together as an immigrant student from Singapore to Calgary in the 80's. As if the adjustment as a new comer isn't enough, Simran is also juggling carrying family expectations, culture, patriarchy, and a kind of freedom she wasn’t prepared for.

We talk about that early line her father gives her — “Be a tiger” — and how that message changes as we grow up. What it means to be a tiger as a girl, what it means as a woman, and what it means when you finally start choosing yourself.

And we go into the things we all know but rarely say out loud:
• What it meant in the ’80s to “stand out in front of white people” — and the survival skills coded into that
• What happens when you suddenly have freedom after being raised with none
• How our older women — who were once the bullied ones — can become the gatekeepers
• How patriarchy follows us from our parents’ homes straight into our marriages
• And what today’s immigrant students are actually facing — the racism, the headlines, the sound bites that blame them for everything while erasing the systems exploiting them

This episode is for every woman who grew up in-between… shapeshifting,
for the ones who learned to roar quietly…
and the ones who are setting the example to roar out loud. This episode is also for the brave man who wants to address his misogyny and set an example for the next generation. (We know you are out there )

Follow Kelly on Instagram: @kellykaur3

Support the show

If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to [email protected]. Thank you for listening!

In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuut’ina, the Îyâxe Nakoda Nations, the Métis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta.

Before we get into this episode, I want to name something real: there’s a moment in life when grief meets growth. Our guest Shri lived that moment. And today, she’s helping us understand it.

Grief has a way of interrupting your life—
but life never stops interrupting your grief.

My guest today, Shri, knows this intimately.
Within 18 months, she lost her father and sister… all while she was pregnant with her daughter.
Imagine grief and life entering the room at the same time. That collision changed her. It made her choose something most of us avoid:

To stop functioning.
And start truly living.

Before you listen, I want to ask you one thing:

“When was the last time you told yourself the truth about how much you’ve been carrying?”

Sit with that. Because this episode is going to meet you right there.

We talk about the things people don’t say out loud:

           *Is it okay that I’m still crying?
           * Why do I feel guilty for slowing down?
           *Why does grief feel like I’m failing at life?                                                                           * How do I grieve when I’m a mother, a partner, a daughter — all at once?

Shri and I unpack the myths we inherited — “be strong,” “move on,” “don’t feel too much” — and how they keep us stuck and disconnected from ourselves.
We dive into South Asian conditioning, the guilt that comes with choice and privilege, and the embodied ways grief stays alive in us long after the world thinks we’re “fine.”

Some of Shri’s words you’ll hear:

“Grief is a life force.”
“You already have everything it takes to heal.”
“There is no timeline to grief.”

This episode is your reminder that you’re allowed to be human.
You’re allowed to feel.
You’re allowed to slow down.
And you’re allowed to heal without performing strength for anyone.

If you’ve been running from your grief… let this conversation be the moment you turn toward it — gently, honestly, and maybe for the first time, supported.

Instagram: transforming.through.grief

Support the show

If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to [email protected]. Thank you for listening!

In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuut’ina, the Îyâxe Nakoda Nations, the Métis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta.

In this gup shup, I want to talk about something we don’t talk about enough —
rebuilding our relationship with ourselves during perimenopause.

Not the charts.
Not the protein grams.
Not the supplements or the workouts.
Those matter — trust me, I’m on top of them.
But I’m realizing I’m ready to focus on something deeper:

How do I stay in relationship with myself while everything in me is shifting?

Mood swings? Check.
Brain fog? Check.
Zero patience? Check.
Crying in the laundry room? Check.
Feeling like your body isn’t yours? Check.

This is perimenopause.
This is hormones rewriting the rules without asking for permission.

Progesterone (pro-JESS-ter-own — the hormone that’s supposed to chill us out) drops. Hard.

When it drops?
Anxiety spikes.
Sleep tanking.
Irritability shooting up.
Body stores fat differently.
Joints ache.
Libido shifts.
Stress response goes haywire.
Emotions sit right under your skin — raw, reactive, ready.

And we’re still expected to “function normally.”

This phase calls us back to the relationship we have with ourselves — right now, in this body, in this season.

Not the old version of us.
Not the one patriarchy shaped.

This version.
This hormonal tornado.
This woman who’s trying, learning, changing, holding so much.

And if you’re going through this “second puberty” with a male partner — here’s a quick heads-up for him:
Listen. Step up. Be the safe place. Learn what’s happening inside her.

That’s my gup shup.
That’s where I’m at.
And if you’re here too — you’re not alone.

Support the show

If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to [email protected]. Thank you for listening!

In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuut’ina, the Îyâxe Nakoda Nations, the Métis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta.

In this episode of Middle Fingers Up, I sit down with Christian Ortiz — Afro-Indigenous social scientist, technologist, and creator of Justice AIGPT — and this conversation hit me on so many levels.

Christian grew up as a latchkey kid in 80s/90s Los Angeles and later confronted internalized racism, machismo, and white supremacy in the American South. With  a fierce single mother, and a lifetime of asking “why?” shaped a mission bigger than tech: challenging the systems that shape us before they erase us.

This isn’t just a conversation about AI — it’s about identity, conviction, and the systems that shape our daily lives in ways we barely notice. We talk about how much AI is already embedded in our day-to-day, from the feeds we scroll to the faucets we wash our hands under — and how often we think these systems are broken, when really they were never built to recognize people like us.

Christian breaks down how bias is coded into these tools, why decolonizing technology is not a luxury but a form of survival, and what it means for BIPOC communities. What I loved most? He doesn’t lecture. He doesn’t sugarcoat. He tells his story — and in doing so, holds up a mirror.

You’ll walk away questioning the systems you’ve trusted, the stories you’ve inherited, and the parts of yourself you’ve outgrown. And you’ll hear the conviction behind his words:
 “If I can change, there’s no way in hell you can’t.”

This episode is for anyone ready to question, reflect, and see how our voices need to be at the table shaping the future — not erased by it.

JusticeAIGPT - www.justiceaigpt.ca

Instagram: zacatecho

Linktree - OfficialChristianOrtiz

Support the show

If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to [email protected]. Thank you for listening!

In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuut’ina, the Îyâxe Nakoda Nations, the Métis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta.

Ever feel guilty for not feeling festive?

The holidays are sold as sparkle and joy — and honestly, it starts in August the moment the gingerbread hits store shelves. The holiday decor floods every aisle...

But for many of us, what follows isn’t joy. It’s guilt — spiraling that we’re falling behind and it’s only mid-summer — overstimulation, pressure to spend, perform, and somehow stay grateful while losing our minds.

Maybe it’s the Secret Santa gift that assumes your culture (“Indian chai” for the brown girl — like, we like winter pine candles too ).

Maybe it’s the small talk that pokes at your job, your relationship, or the kids you don’t have.

Maybe it’s hiding your pronouns, your sexuality, or the truth about who you love — just to keep the peace.

Maybe it’s the drinks at every gathering — not because you want them, but because refusing feels too complicated when family, tension, and history are on the table.

Or maybe it’s that post-holiday crash, when the quiet hits harder than the chaos.

This week, founder of Lotus Pathways, Psychotherapist, Shagun Sharma returns to unpack the guilt and obligation so many of us carry

- How overstimulation and social fatigue drain our nervous systems

- The blurry line between celebration and numbing out

- How to prepare for the post-holiday blues — without shame

You don’t owe anyone your sparkle or your performance.

Just be present with where you’re at.

Tune in. Breathe. Be.

Instagram: lotuspathways

Linktr.ee: lotuspathways

Website: lotuspathwayspsychotherapy.com

Support the show

If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to [email protected]. Thank you for listening!

In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuut’ina, the Îyâxe Nakoda Nations, the Métis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta.

This one made me laugh, pause, and think.

I get to sit down and really get to know Calgary comedian and Planet Jerf host Jeff D'Silva—the stories behind his humor, how he sees the world, and the experiences that shaped him. We talk about biracial parenting, Calgary mall culture, and what it was like growing up Pakistani-Canadian in the 80s.

I first came across Jeff after hearing his viral South Centre Mall song—the one calling out how white Calgarians “go there to get away from us POC.” It’s funny, sharp, and uncomfortable in the best way. And I knew I had to talk to him.

We get into the identity tightrope of being between worlds, what it’s like getting racism from both brown and white folks, and how raising empathetic kids might just be the biggest act of resistance and love.

Listen for:

The South Centre Mall song that started it all

Real talk on biracial parenting and identity

How comedy can challenge and connect us

This one’s for anyone who’s ever questioned where they fit—and learned to find belonging on their own terms.

Instagram: jeffdsilva

Support the show

If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to [email protected]. Thank you for listening!

In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuut’ina, the Îyâxe Nakoda Nations, the Métis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta.

 Have you ever asked yourself why so many of us first-gens ended up dating or marrying white people? I have!  I see now that our immigrant parents’ survival strategies — keeping your head down, working hard, staying small — shaped ours. And for our generation, that survival often meant assimilation, performing the “white version” of ourselves — at work, in friendships, even in love.

In this intimate gup shup, I want you to know: you are not alone. Naming what’s happening, sharing our experiences together, and unpacking these survival strategies is necessary. I share what it’s like to wake up and realize we were digested, not seen — and how doing this deep work can actually strengthen relationships with white partners who met us as the “white version” of ourselves.

If we are raising biracial kids, this work becomes even more important. The more we understand ourselves, the more we can show them authenticity, self-respect, and the courage to claim their identity fully.

It’s messy. It’s uncomfortable. But it’s necessary. Thriving doesn’t come from performing. It comes from standing fully in your truth, holding space for your partner, and building a foundation for the next generation to grow strong and confident in who they are. 

Support the show

If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to [email protected]. Thank you for listening!

In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuut’ina, the Îyâxe Nakoda Nations, the Métis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta.

Hey everyone, quick question — when was the last time you really talked about periods? Not whispered, not joked about… I mean honest, open, real talk.

If that made you pause, this one’s for you — and for the men in our lives too: dads, brothers, partners, sons… anyone who wants to understand better.

Dr. Anne  invited me to sit down with her as part of her month-long speaker series celebrating her book "The Period Literacy Handbook"  turning one — now available as an audiobook — and since then, she’s launched her podcast, Phase to Phase: The Hormone Health Show.

We dug into some of the things we were never taught, the things we sometimes hide, and the ways we can start changing the conversation at home. Some of it might surprise you.

So whether you bleed or love someone who does, this conversation is for you. It’s not a flaw — it’s flow

Follow Dr. Anne and Listen to her health show :
Linktree

Instagram 

Support the show

If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to [email protected]. Thank you for listening!

In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuut’ina, the Îyâxe Nakoda Nations, the Métis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta.

You ever meet someone who reminds you that healing doesn’t always happen in therapy — sometimes it happens in the kitchen?

In this episode of Middle Fingers Up, Kiran Randhawa sits down with Bengali home cook, mother, and storyteller Shuraya Bhatti, whose journey from grief to growth will make you rethink what it means to take care of yourself.

After losing her father, Shuraya turned to food — not just to cook, but to connect. What started as a way to honor her roots became a space where strangers walk into her home and leave as community. Together, we talk about the power of slowing down, how ADHD shaped her work and motherhood, and why immigrant women need to stop apologizing for resting.

You’ll walk away thinking about:

How grief can actually spark creativity and connection

The freedom that comes when you let yourself be imperfect

Why taking a long shower isn’t selfish — it’s survival

How storytelling, community, and self-compassion help us heal what we never got to name

This conversation isn’t about cooking — it’s about coming home to yourself.
Raw. Honest. Exactly what you didn’t know you needed today.

Connect with Shuraya:
Find her at shurayaskitchen.ca, on Instagram and Facebook (@shurayaskitchen), and at her monthly cooking classes in Calgary.

Support the show

If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to [email protected]. Thank you for listening!

In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuut’ina, the Îyâxe Nakoda Nations, the Métis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta.