Midnight Wisdom

07.07.2024 23:33 Two recordings: First night in London and Story Dice ant and butterfly love story recording. Arrived Thursday 00:30 am and the story dice thing was on Monday. Watching a youtube video of a time laps of plants growing and its amazing. Ordered a M2 ipad pro 16 gb 1 Tb used in excellent condition for 1200 euro and a macbook air m2 8gb 528 ssd for 1200 also. Happy about the decisions and lets see what happens. Will record when im back properly.

23:53 30.06.2024

23:53 23.06.2024 it’s 11 days since my birthday. Damn time moves fast. I recorded myself for an hour for a course and didnt know I was recording in slow motion. I deleted the content this morning. Was funny and no audio was kept just the video. Met a woman who loves dreams, understanding them and writing about them - we discussed a few of my dreams. Fasted the whole day without intending to - still feeling loads of energy. The amazon curse takes a lot of attention - i want to own the right tools, but I want to focus on the simple things and principles of writing. I am learning so much all the time about everything it’s interesting to see how my writing goes and what I keep telling myself to ‘finish’. My life is so dynamic trying to make something finished and concrete is hard and that’s fine. Different times will create different results. I am starting something new in this phase of my life and it is important for me to keep learning. “Keep your childish tendencies, you’ll be able to use them better when you’re older.” I am texting 5 beautiful women. I refuse to pressure myself more than I can handle. I come first and my love for myself.

23:23 16.06.2024 Im writing this at the last night of the yoga retreat. After drinking blue lotus flower distilled alcohol and doing a gong shivasana session. A lot of different feelings in general about being here but also happy about the experience and happy about going back. Was able to think about what I’ve been through and going through differently. How I’d approach being back in Berlin, hiking more, taking deeper breaths between things, looking at my morning and dreams differently, another phone for messages, hyper focus. The houses I saw in this neighbourhood today looked very homy. Made me feel at peace, and love, knowing this reality was possible and that there was so much land where it could be achieved. I want to think deeply. Learn deeply. Apply deeply. Be deeply. Everything in my life has to do with deepness. I am in day 7 meditating with my mantra. Learned a lot and thought a lot during this trip. It went well but maybe I could have let my weight down a bit more. But it’s fine. My country is on fire and Im blessing food with a weird mantra everyone says with a smile. My relationship to sexual topics changed a lot. It really isn’t a priority right now. And where Im at it feels very difficult for it to be. Im quite grateful to be here with it right now.

Just realised citizen has the word zen in it but cities have no zen!!! Hahahahhaha 23:30 05.06

23:03 19.05.2024 about to sleep! Goodnight. Looking forward to tomorrow and the rest of the week.

Recorded Monday 13.05.2024 in Cagliari in the apartment. I sent Ashraf a long voicenote telling him how I was suffering girl wise in Italy. We got on a phonecall the day after and talked a lot. He was telling me not to keep moving when I went on a walk. He was eating a beautiful dish.