Midnight Wisdom

Sunday 13.08.2023 10:30 pm Mom sent me a 3 minute voicenote at 1 in the morning, on my way home from a day and night out. Got it as soon as I arrived. On this day, I made out with three different woman and talked to maybe 11 or 15. “I don’t like the path you’re on. Baba was crying in the kitchen because his children don’t call him.” This was my response the day after, feeling abandoned by the girls I got intimate with but then felt distant to.

22:24 06.08.2023 I love you. You’re so great. There’s so much good about you. How you are and approach things.

23:53 30.07.2023 And you might wake up with more direction. Go through your conditioning, your demons, and see what happens. ~11,500 words. I’m just trying to see clearly. I hope I do. Khalid does not chase. Khalid does not try to connect.

21:54 23.07.2023 The House is a sacred place that gives to all equally

Sunday 16.07.2023 21:08 - recorded 19:00. What can I say? I’m not writing as much as I used to. For about 2 to 3 weeks now. Just doing 10 minute journaling here and there, in German. Does incredible things. I want to be in tune with life. Not just writing and thinking I have to finish things. Citizenship process continuing. Got the news of the Apostille right after my presentation on Wednesday. God I was sleep deprived.

20:47 09.07.2023 Halas birthday yesterday. Bought gold earrings for mom, first time buying gold. I don’t have any trips planned for a while. I like finding unopened bottles of water before security check-ins. Drank a litter in a few seconds and almost died. But I feel amazing now.

23:09 I never did this before. Glad I did.

23:15 25.06.2023 That’s what my mom said to me right after I ended the episode. She came into the kitchen to get two dark chocolates for baba. I’m loved. I don’t have to be seen to know my qualities. I continue to grow and create.

21:34 18.06.2023 I talk about a lot of things. To add: I met a greek woman who writes really shitty poetry and she’s so excited about it. Lsned to it on spotify and it was horrible. Candy sucks. I hate this cancer feeling and I don’t want it. New season of rick and morty and black mirror. Amazing.

23:09 11.06.2023 realised im recording in the Bose headphones and they have shitty mics. Hope it’s alright. I talk about the movies, tantra events I was at ecstatic dance and a ritual night. Glad to be where I am. We move on from patterns. Awareness sets me free, right?