22:21 Sunday 21.08.2022 I came back home, showered, talked to my housemates about being shirtless or not being shirtless in the house. I seemed to have been overestimating all the situations that happen at home. I did laundry, checked amazon for things I want to get, downloaded books, dead breathwork for 25 minutes (amazing) and recorded this. I ate chips yesterday night and it was surprisingly cloudy. Incredibly. Yesterday was a full day too actually, I forgot to mention what happened. Another time.

22:38 14.08.2022 I was happy about the 12th of August. I thought I like days that show a clear progression since my birthday (12th of June). I’m focusing on keeping perspective. On not losing myself to the constant and fast movement around me. Taking a step back from it all in my own way and reassessing, healing and moving on from things I have been holding on to for so long, thinking that I can fix those things by holding on to more. I am grateful that I am allowed to share my voice with you, you are what keeps it alive. I am fasted. I have done a hot yoga session today (1.5h), I took a 45 minute walk. How are we basing our decisions on what stays or not? I’m glad this recording stayed.

Recorded 08.07.2022 at around 6 pm in front of Netto. This episode is about me after Vipassana, seeing Deena, seeing Waad. And I’m here now thinking: “it’s interesting what I said and the place I was in then. I’m somewhere else now. That sex can put us in childish places, and that thinking someone else could ever be a solution to you is wrong.

23:31 Sunday 07.08.2022 how quickly the state of the brain can change. What we’re always used to doing or checking or otherwise, when we go somewhere else that’s much calmer. Thank you Than for inviting me, I met her at the fiction workshop I did two years ago. We did it online. They had a pear tree that tastes amazing. I took 3 pears with me here, ate one after leaving it outside of sisyphos before going on my way home. The people at the event were nice. We had a bonfire and threw potatoes inside. I slept well. I dreamed. I dreamed. I dreamed.

Thursday 22:38 28.07.2022 I listened to a song 2 days ago, on Tuesday, for about 4 times in a row, and my attention has been going to shit all this time. What a pleasure it is to lose self in a multitude of coherent being. But the cost is losing the coherence of now.

24.07.2022 11:40 am, typing this at 17:07 pm Kinano, Laitho, Salmalo, Qaiso, you’ll all be beautiful people. Remember, you are loved, and empathy. Empathy comes first. But don’t forget to have compassion for yourselves. You’ll have to learn it all over again yourselves.

I have a Jordanian passport.

10.07.2022 Sunday 21:12 One day vipassana, and all that came in during the last hours was rage and exhaustion.

08.07.2022 Friday 20:29 Deena, Robert, Victor, Waad. Me. Mama. Mousa. Hala. I returned the bike. I packed it with Marvin. Took Gaba and L-Tryptophan before sleeping. Slept great. Cancelled the supernote A5x order I did (720€) and will use all the paper I have (1 to 2 € per notebook). That I thought before Vipassana that I would be better in any way at all if I have those things in my life. That bicycle, the e-notebook, a woman or anything else. Me, reaching deeper, being okay with things and being more with myself. I’m grateful I can send my family money.