07.09.2021 21:23 arguably one of the more important recordings I do. How I’m feeling right now in the midst of this. Am I anything? I don’t want to feel useless. I want to feel solid in what I am. But what’s it when what I am is air? It’s the life and doubt of a writer.

47 minutes of music and indexing (writing down what is written in the notebooks). I don’t own any of this music, it’s good music.

I recorded this on the 28th of August coming into midnight. After coming back from Jordan, didn’t leave my dad on the best of terms but he isn’t the easiest person to get along with. He is often unnecessarily difficult and I think he prides himself on that, somehow. I smoked and I spoke about it, even though on the way back I was already done with thinking about it. But hey, it’s life, it’s here and it’s heavy.

31.08.2021 Felt like recording mid day and talked about using and learning a new writing tool. Getting ready to go to Poland.

Treehouse on a lake. In Poland, Poznan. 05.09.2021, feels like a good day. Slept well and ready to take on the day and sit with Vernon. I indexed my writings, organised all I have in one dedicated Scrivener project. I’m eating well, meditated and journaled as soon as I woke up, and now I think I’ll paddle before sitting down with Vernon. I arrived here on Friday the third 03.09.2021, I’m glad I just booked. I’m glad I’m here. Can’t keep waiting to make things happen.

Recorded 28.08.2021 My dad.

Recorded 27.08.2021

Recorded yesterday, 21.08.2021-22.08.2021 at around 3 am. I was on the couch next to his bed, there was also a chair I sat on, thinking: “Remember this.” He was sleeping, he was breathing.

I’m booking the ticket now. Take care.

I am replanning my trip to Vienna and Helsinki to go to Amman instead. It’s a much better plan. 15.08.2021 Parents love us a lot, but sometimes people don’t know how to love themselves.