In this episode, Mateo discusses marriage, why he believes many relationships fail, and tips you can use to avoid a failing relationship.
Show Notes:
America is above a 40% divorce rate. Arranged marriages are around a 4% divorce rate (This can be affected by many reasons)
Source: https://www.nbcnews.com/better/pop-culture/why-you-should-treat-marriage-more-business-ncna778551
Definition of vow: noun (dictionary.com)
a solemn promise, pledge, or personal commitment:
a solemn promise made to a deity or saint committing oneself to an act, service, or condition.
a solemn or earnest declaration.
How are people getting into situations that lead to divorce?
- People are disillusioned and not honest with themselves. Lack of responsibility.
- Driven by emotion.
- Insecure and codependent.
- Too many unspoken Expectations and too little communication on things that matters.
- No idea what they want.
- If you keep entering failed relationships, the problem is you, not them.
- You have to stop for a moment and take some responsibility. This should be empowering because it means you have the power to change your outcome.
- Who do you know personally (NOT CELEBRITIES), that have a marriage that you would like to model after? Speak with them.
- Marriage is not about love….. it is about Duty. You are entering into an agreement with another individual (It is the biggest business deal you will ever make). Decisions made out of emotions have a high chance of being bad decisions. You can’t go into it thinking “If it doesn’t work out, I’ll just get a divorce”.
- 50% of your life worth.
- Massive time investment (Think the 10,000-hour rule but on steroids).
- Saying no to every other person in this world from the moment you say “I Do”.
- No longer autonomous like you used to be, you will need to make some compromises.
- Insecure and codependent.
- You need to do the work to come to a stable point. Go to therapy.
- Too many expectations, not enough communication.
- Unspoken expectations are like a slow-release poison. The longer they are in your body the worse everything becomes.
- Brutally honest conversations - You both need to be able to have completely transparent conversations without fear of emotional backlash.
- You need to get clear about what you want.
- Stop dating endlessly. You should be able to make a decision within 6 months.
- After the first date, it’s time to start seeing if you both have similar morals and asking more deep questions: https://www.patrickbetdavid.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Top_50_Questions_to_
