Mindful Pause Podcast

Meet Christian Piuma, our first male Soul School guest, who vulnerably shares his transformation from living a stressful Silicon Valley corporate life to finding his purpose as a transformational coach working with high performers who are frustrated with their careers. While checking off the boxes of success as a high performer, he became the victim of the life he thought he wanted. Those same goals were the ones that imprisoned him and made him feel unfulfilled and lost, turning to numb his pain with substances and relationships that were not good for him.

Today he shares how he left his corporate job and manifested the life of his dreams of having freedom of time and place in order to be lit up by God’s creation living and experiencing the mountains and beaches. In his words, he was suffering in San Francisco and now splits his time joyfully in Jackson hole and at his California beach home. He has trained extensively with Tony Robbins as well as with Esther Hicks and Tim Ferris to transform his life and find his truth.

Stay tuned because he shares valuable tips of how to get out of the corporate rut and find your true north to live a fulfilled and passionate life. He shares that on the other side of the uncertainty is the breakthrough.

This is Christian’s story of his breakthrough. We talked for almost two hours and I had to cut it down to half. There is so much good information in this episode. Get out your notebook and pen, you don’t want to miss these great nuggets of wisdom of how you too can live your most passionate life by getting clear on what you want and following your North star.

https://www.christianpiuma.com

EP 28: Treat Yourself As You Would Treat Your Neighbor

What if you treated yourself as you would treat your neighbor? Or better yet, love yourself as you would love your neighbor, or best friend, or your partner?

Today’s intention is all about self-love and self-care.

As adults, it’s easy to give to others, and our roles and responsibilities and we are the last to receive. I find that often times, especially as a woman and a mom, I give to everyone else, my husband, my daughter, to my students and then I’m left out. I have a deficit because I put my care on the back burner. This is not self-love.

Babies and kids are great examples of self-care. My baby cries when she needs something – like she needs a changing of diapers, she’s hungry or she’s tired. I immediately attend to her needs because I know if I don’t feed her soon, she’s gonna have a meltdown. Or if I try to keep her awake, when I know she desperately needs a nap and is rubbing her eyes yawning, get ready for the wrath of Hunter.

But as adults, we know we need something, but instead of self-care, we ignore the signs and push through it. How often does your body tell you that you’re worn down and need to rest, but that to do list won’t check itself off, so you push through your fatigue. Or when your hunger turns into hanger because you didn’t listen to yourself.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel that self-care is selfish.

The thing is it’s actually selfish if you don’t take care of yourself because you come to your world empty and depleted. Nothing great happens when you’re exhausted. It’s like driving a car but never stopping for gas. That makes no sense. You need to refuel so you can show up to your life full and alive. This is good for you and good for everyone who comes in contact with you. plus, when you’re feeling full again, you can better focus on projects and be more productive. It’s a win for everyone!

What does self-care look like to you? It doesn’t have to be a massage or pedicure or anything fancy or expensive. It could be eating healthy. Or it also could look like having a cookie or a piece of cake. It may be that you need a nap, or to have some alone time to read a book or take a bath, or have a really good glass of cabernet with a girlfriend.

What does self-love look like to you? If you haven’t tuned into Episode #17 Quiet your itty bitty shitty committee, check that out. notice when that negative voice chimes in luring you into believing in scarcity and not enoughness. The work of self-love is to romance yourself, tell yourself you’re worthy and beautiful and deserving, treat yourself…what acts of love would you show another person – why not give that to yourself this week?

From the person who is the first to put herself last, let’s commit together to put ourselves first and make ourselves a priority this week. Let’s take care of ourselves and fill our cup, so we can show up brighter and lighter. Every single day this week, do something good for your soul. Whatever it is. It doesn’t need to be grand. Just make it good for you and something that feeds your soul. Be good to yourself, love yourself and most importantly be radically kind to yourself.

Connect with me on facebook, instagram or on my blog to let me know what ways you’re taking care of yourself and how these acts of kindness to yourself are affecting how you show up in your world.

Last week the guy who tailgated me, - stomped on the brakes. We could have died. I’ve seen it happen before. Thankful hunter was not in the car with me. My action caused a last effect of stress, a buzzing anger and shame that I could be so reactive. It took about 8 minutes for me to shake it off – that’s how much stress can affect us.

How come sometimes you can keep your cool and sometimes you lose it? How do we stay cool when things get heated and we get triggered?

In my SOUL SCHOOL program I teach called Above the line / below the line. Basically it is a barometer of whether you dipped below the line and are aligned with ego/itty bitty shitty committee/your lower unconscious unaware self or you are above the line connected to your higher self, the abundant, happy soul you want to be.

If you can sit down and do this exercise, it is extremely helpful because each person will have different adjectives and feelings. If you can’t, then imagine a line in the middle of a page. Above this line are all of your happy feelings, emotions – how you feel on your best day as your best self. Below the line are all of your negative feelings, emotions – how you feel on your worst day as your worst self. The line is a barometer to check in with yourself at any time when you feel triggered by something or someone. Sometimes you are slightly below the line, and sometimes you are deep in negativity, and need some extra help.

1. How does it feel to be below the line for you?

We each have specific feelings and emotions, so that’s why it’s important to brainstorm yours – as many adjectives as you can so you can know when you’ve dipped below the line.

Physical - tight in breath and body, shoulders and neck hurt, physical tension, fast heartbeat, headaches, backaches.

Energetic/Emotional: frustrated, confused, exhausted, distracted, down, sad, angry, resentful, stressed, overwhelmed, hopeless, unproductive, scared, insecure, empty, uneasy, haggard, chaotic, grumpy, tired, mean, negative.

2. Then, write or imagine how it feels like to be above the line:

Physical:  breath is easy, loose in my body, energetic, alive, vibrant, you feel GOOD/sexy.

Energetic/Emotional: happy, productive, loved, abundant, calm, safe, fulfilled, joyful, easy going, peaceful, in the flow, radiant, positive, in alignment, confident, smart, carefree.

AWARENESS CREATES CHANGE

Most of us are going unconsciously through our day reacting to things and people, getting triggered which pushes us further below the line in negativity, never checking in ourselves and our needs. Then we wonder why we are stressed, or what lead to our meltdown. And maybe it’s not a meltdown…it's just be a bad mood that has been perpetuated because you never checked in on yourself and brought awareness to your body, mind and spirit.

This is a tool you can use all the time in your day to bring you back to your centered place.

First, start with awareness of your physical body. There are subtleties in your breath, tension that arises in your body. The first signs of stress show up physically in your body, like your shoulders creep up to your ears or you clench your jaw. If you don’t check it there, then that stress permeates in your thoughts. You spiral down even more below the line when that one thoughts turns into a story and you recycle that negative story. You may repeat that story and carry all these below the line feelings and energy with you throughout your day. You continue to spiral further below the line. If not checked there, it may even manifest outward towards someone else.

YOU, my courageous soul, are powerful. But you give your power away when you are unconsciously reacting to your triggers.

You may not have control of the weather or the traffic or the co-worker who speaks too closely to you with stanky breath, but YOU have complete control of yourself, physically, mentally and emotionally. But you must be conscious. You must be aware. Isn’t this what we’re all about – we want to awaken, to fully engage in life? not check out.

The more you practice being aware and pulling yourself back above the line, the more you will live a joyful, easy life. not easy as in everything is easy. But easy in the way that you perceive these challenges and triggers. You don’t ruminate over them or let a situation or a person stay with you all day and affect your disposition. Guess what the good news is? This doesn’t benefit just you. Yes, you will be more productive, happier, you will attract positive opportunities and people who are also in alignment with you. Doesn’t that sound amazing! Also, everyone around you will benefit from your new consciousness and attitude.

You are a powerful conscious being! I love this tool – it’s a game changer. I hope this life tool is helpful to you. try it out – give it a shot for a week. It will be hard because it’s new. Keep at it. It’s a practice.

Please let me know in the comments on my blog or leave a review here on iTunes. Thank you for so much for sharing with someone who could benefit from this concept.

I use this tool in my daily life all the time. When I slip, which is bound to happen and unconsciously react to something, I try to show myself compassion and grace, breathe a little deeper and try to let go of what triggered me. This helps to bring me back above the line.

You will slip. You will fall. You will react and retell negative stories that don’t serve you causing you to spiral below the line, but you have the power to bring yourself back to this moment at any moment. In this moment, you can shift your consciousness, adjust your thoughts and change your behavior and attitude.

As Mahatma Gandhi says, “Be the change you will to see in the world.” Change begins with you.

EP 26: You are worthy

In today's Mantra Monday we explore your feelings on worthiness. You are here for a reason and born for a purpose. You are worthy of everything that is good. You are worthy of joy!

Please visit my website to leave your comments or connect with me on instagram. Always, thank you for reviewing, rating and sharing this podcast!

Billions of pounds of plastic can be found in swirling junctions that make up about 40 percent of the world's ocean surfaces. At current rates plastic is expected to outweigh all the fish in the sea by 2050.

The ocean contains an estimated 150 million tons of plastic, with 8 million tons added annually - equivalent to a garbage truck load every minute.

Only a fraction of plastic ocean pollution is visible. Most of it consists of tiny degraded particles swirling across 16 million square kilometers of ocean surface, an area the size of the United States and Australia combined. Plastic particles in oceans harm marine animals by either becoming lodged in the digestive systems of animals, leading to impairment or death or plastic particles can absorb toxins already in the water and spread them through the marine food web, and possibly to humans. Fish, turtles, seabirds, sea lions, and whales can all die a grisly death eating or become entangled in plastic. A recent study found that a quarter of fish at markets in California and Indonesia contain plastic in their guts, mostly in the form of plastic microfibers.

Meet Melissa Gil, a marine biologist by background who has always had a deep connection to nature and love for the ocean. She says, “We have a lot more power as consumers than we think to make change on our environment.” She personally asks for no plastic straws or bags and even goes so far as to tell the restaurants that she’ll bring her own Tupperware for her to go orders.

Meli is a professional kite boarder and has turned her passion into purpose with her company, MG Surfline, an ecofriendly and ethically conscious swimwear and active wear company that uses plastic bottles to create their environmentally friendly line to help solve our environmental problems for #plasticfreeocean.

In our conversation today, we discuss how each of us are casting a vote each time we choose to use plastic and the idea that the way we chose does make a difference. Meli also gets vulnerable about her friend’s traumatic death from a shark attack and how she healed through expression, communication and connection to get back into the ocean. Life is fragile so appreciate the moment. Whenever you’re scared, exercise your mind to be positive by replacing the negative fear with a positive thought. Meli embodies her mantra of “Do what you love” in every aspect of her career, her passion for a plastic free ocean and her whole life.

www.MGSurfline.com

Follow MG Surfline on Instagram

Follow Meli on Instagram

How do you react to this statement? If you are triggered, then this is a place to work on and find the surprising, small ways (and big ways) abundance flows to you every day.

How are you finding ways this week of abundant things you are grateful for? Please visit my website to leave your comments or connect with me on instagram. Always, thank you for reviewing, rating and sharing this podcast!

You may follow @PalmBeachYogi on instagram, also known as Brittany McKay, a florida yogini who has beautiful bendy photos that make my body ache just looking at them. What is so alluring about Brittany is not just her beautiful photos and hard to attain yoga poses, but her vulnerable authenticity and gritty story about her depression, anxiety, eating disorders and her encounter with sexual assault and harassment that led to her calling of helping others through yoga.

She is like the lotus flower that is born out of the mud and the muck and has a choice to stay or grow. With faith, the lotus flower travels through the darkness hoping that there will be light on the other side, finally reaching it’s destination as a beautiful flower. We only see what’s on the surface – this beautiful flower, but we do not see it’s journey through the muck and darkness.

Brittany shares her story of how she pulled herself out of darkness by surrounding herself with healthy, strong and loving people, doing the constant work of looking at yourself and loving yourself so you can return this love to others. Her advice to her insecure inner child is something that we can all learn and live by, “Be undefinable. Make your own definition of yourself. It takes the muck for the lotus to blossom.”

Relationships are our mirrors and can be our best teachers.

Byron Katie says, “Defense is the first act of war.  The ego hates criticism and loves agreement. If I agree with you, you love me. The minute I don't agree with you, the moment I question one of your sacred beliefs, I become your enemy. Then you start looking for all the reasons why you're right, and you stay focused outside yourself. When you're focused outside and believe that your problem is caused by someone else, rather than by your attachment to the story you're believing in the moment, you are your own victim, and the situation appears to be hopeless.”

“Defense is the first act of war” Maybe you see this view as weak. What about standing up for ourselves? But what truly happens when we attack the people who attack us? We become one in anger, fighting fire with fire simply makes a bigger fire.

So, I’ve really been trying to be more aware of when I get defensive these days. I don’t learn anything when I’m defensive. It’s a conversation-stopper. 

Defense is the first act of war. This is a hard one to grasp and practice, especially if we feel we are right, or deserving, or protecting something. Peace is a choice. Peace begins with you. It doesn't take two people to end war; it takes only one.

Would love to hear your thoughts on this topic! Head over to my website to leave your comments or connect with me on instagram. Always, thank you for reviewing, rating and sharing this podcast!

I was never an athlete. In fact, I remember in third grade, on run day in P.E. class, I would deliberately talk to the P.E. coach to distract him until everyone had jogged halfway around the baseball field, and then I shrugged my shoulders, slyly smiled and casually said, “woops, well I guess I’m too late to run. I’ll just wait here for them to come back.” Talk about a lazy kid! I did that several times until he caught on and I got in trouble. Being pregnant and giving birth is the biggest athletic fete I have ever accomplished. This was my marathon, my Iron Man, my Mt. Everest.

Like preparing to climb Mt Everest or any other major athletic challenge, mothers are pregnant for almost 10 months, nurturing their baby and fueling their body, preparing for labor. For most moms, their birth story is their Mt. Everest. For me, this was the hardest and most empowering thing I have every done. I never considered myself strong. I’m a wuss when it comes to pain. But I labored for 10 hours, (5 of those hours at home until I was almost 100% effaced and 7 cm dilated) and gave birth to our girl without any interventions, medicine or stitches. I pleasantly surprised myself. We are much stronger than we think.

Through my pregnancy and birth story, I learned lessons about strength, surrender and love.

Birth is the purest and most primal form of completely surrendering to Life’s flow. It was imperative to detach from my perfect birth plan and let go of what my mind told me to do and instead trust the wisdom of my womb and allow my body and baby to do the work. Our bodies amazingly wise and know exactly what to do.

The most important lesson I learned was about Love. Not the squishy heart throbbing kind of love per se, although this is how I do feel about our baby girl. I learned the most about love - what it truly means to love someone and feel their returned love, how deep this love penetrates into our bones, it’s truth and simplicity, not through Birth but through Death.

Birth and death are intertwined. We laid my father down for his final rest on a Friday. The next day, our baby girl, Hunter was born two weeks early, just missing each other by days. Both birth and death are emotional, raw and real. I believe that my dad and my baby girl are linked in love, and that he divinely intervened, putting my sorrow on pause to bring us joy.

Every birth story is unique and should be shared and celebrated. This is my serendipitous and magical story of death and birth.

DAD:

I received the text early in the morning from my mom that my dad had passed away. I woke up Jake and we got in the car. It was early and dark. The only light existed from the full moon shining through the tall pine trees. It was huge! I hugged Jake and cried. As we drove down the hill, the full moon seemed to follow us and now perched over the freeway - a bright orange ball lighting up the sky. I looked down at the clock. It was 5:55am, which is a symbol of angelic protection and transition. I squeezed Jake’s hand.

After picking up my mom, the three of us fought morning rush hour traffic on Hwy 405 back to Seattle, but google map kept re-routing us off the freeway down a country road, then rerouted us to a smaller country road. It was a beautiful two-lane road overlooking rolling farmland and vineyards. The sun was beginning to rise over the distant hills lighting up the sky in hues of soft rose and lavender. During this unsettling time, I felt a moment of peace. I had never been on this road before, and asked Jake, “Where are we?” My mom quietly chimed in from the back seat, “This is your dad’s favorite road to your house.” My dad was watching over us and guiding us.

On our 90-minute ride home, I reflected on my close bond with my father. He was my best friend. We talked every day, twice a day. He listened to me (unconditionally and patiently...and often for hours), was my biggest fan and a big supporter of female empowerment. He was so excited to be a grandfather. When we found out we were having a girl, he said “Girls are the best! If you only get to have one child, then definitely have a girl.”

He loved the name Hunter and said it was a powerful badass name, that she would be a force to be reckoned with. That night, we saw the moon again over the lake. This time seeming bigger and brighter.

Coincidently, this annual orange moon was called the Hunter moon.

HUNTER:

It was a Friday when we viewed my dad’s body at the funeral home. Everything in my body hurt from crying for the last week. Permanent tear marks were inked down my cheeks. I felt haggard and exhausted. I missed him.

The next day, Jake took photos of me on the dock with the Henna tattoo on my belly. The henna art was beautifully customized with the Hunter moon and dragonflies in remembrance of my dad. The word “allow” was tattooed on my forearm reminding me to go with Life’s flow. The henna only lasts 7-10 days and would not be visible by the time I gave birth in two weeks. I told Jake I loved being pregnant and hoped she would stay in there for a little longer.

My water broke that afternoon. Her birth was my dad’s gift to us to help us.

I labored at home from 7PM – midnight, listening on repeat to my hypnobirthing recordings and reading my affirmations board. The contractions never let up. To think that I strongly considered recording my podcast instead of taking a nap after my water broke was so naïve. I breathed through these intense cramps while Jake rubbed my back and brought me hot compresses. At midnight, Jake, my mom and I piled into the car and drove to the hospital to meet my doula and midwife. It started to rain.

As soon as I stepped into the hospital tub to labor, the storm was getting bigger. Sheet of rain pounded against the windows. Trees wildly whipped side to side. As my contractions became stronger, the storm grew stronger too, like we were in sync. The wind howled and so did I.

I rode the waves of each contraction by each deep breath. My mantra tattooed on my arm reminded me to allow this process to unfold, that my body and baby were divinely working together. I could feel her spiraling her way out with each push and breath. Each contraction was bringing me one step closer to meeting my baby.

In Chinese medicine, water holds fear, and although the relentless contractions were 1-2 minutes apart, I somehow fell asleep during the tiny breaks allowing my fear to subside. Fear can delay the birth process. I was terrified of tearing to my butthole and pooping myself. The latter happened, and somehow, we laughed despite being in the middle of an intense contraction. After 2 hours of constant hard labor, where I would push the baby’s head out and then it would withdraw, a half dozen nurses entered the room to put a breathing assist on me. This made me nervous. The baby’s heart rate had dropped. My doula looked me squarely in the eyes knowing my fear of tearing and convincingly said, “there is nothing to worry about.” I turned to my midwife who firmly said “I need you to give me 5 good pushes,” then looked at Jake who had a huge encouraging smile on his face and sparkle in his eyes and said “I’m so proud of you, you’ve got this!” I have never worked so hard in my life. My mom held my leg as I crushed her hand, Jake pet my hair and everyone was breathing and grunting with me. I made low growling yells that I didn’t know were in me. It was primal, real and emotional.

My dad said he loved the name Hunter because it was a strong name - a force to be reckoned with. Digging deep within my own strength, I labored during a fierce storm where she stopped time (as it was daylight savings). Hunter was born at 3:54am at 7lbs 1 oz. with a Divine and powerful feminine force.

Because I pushed for 2 hours, the baby’s head “gently” stretched my perineum so that I didn’t need any stitches and had minimal tearing. What I was so fearful of never happened. I believe it is because I completely surrendered to the raw sensations of the present moment. Hunter was born with no medications, interventions or stitches. She was completely healthy despite being born at 38 weeks. I know my dad was with us again, guiding us during that stormy labor. It was an incredible natural birth that made me feel exhausted, exhilarated and empowered.

BIRTH AND DEATH

I wish their paths could have crossed in this human world. My dad was excited to be a grandpa and would have loved to watch me mature into a mother. But in the spiritual world things are on its own Divine timing and reasons.

Having gone through the worst sorrow of my life and giving birth to one of the best joys of my life, I’ve learned that Life and Death are intertwined. You cannot have one without the other. They are both inevitable, unpredictable, raw and honest. Yet our society usually wants to look at one, not the other. I used to avoid talking about death. It made me feel uncomfortable and scared. But how we deal with death is how we show up in life. It represents how we deal with our fears and challenges. Do you avoid feeling it, numb the pain or find a distraction or do you lean in to the uncomfortableness? Can you surrender to what is?

  Even in birth there is death: The death of my identity and my freedom. From maiden to mother, a new life is born, not just the birth of my daughter but I also emerge a new self. There is a deeper, wiser respect for Life knowing it is all fragile and special. I’m really sad my dad passed before getting to hold his granddaughter. He fell in love with my mom upon first sight in Economics class and they had me when he was just 22 years old. He has been devoted to us ever since. His heart was so big. He was loving and self-less. He was too young to leave this earth.

I hope someday I will be the kind of parent that he was to me, that I can give our daughter half of the love that I felt from him. He taught me about devotion, integrity and patience. I hope I can teach Hunter the same. He taught me to live today as if it were your last, to never have regrets, to never be stingy with your feelings or hoard your love. Express freely and kindly your gratitude and love for others and yourself. He always encouraged me to believe in myself, especially when I couldn’t do it for myself. He was my greatest teacher about life. . . and still is.

I have learned so many lessons this past year: Lessons about my own strength and power. Lessons about letting go and surrendering to Life. Lessons about loss and joy. The most important lesson I learned this year, though, was about love.

Thank you for listening to this very long and personal dedication to my father and my birth story about Hunter. I am very grateful for YOU for being in my life and supporting me with your love! I feel it. Life is good.

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Have you listened to my SOUL SCHOOL WITH AUDREY podcast episode: The positive lesson I learned from my Dad’s death? 

Mamas, check out my POSTPARTUM ESSENTIALS LIST on my blog – it’s everything I have researched and used for my healing.

Also, I would love to hear your birth story, even if it was decades ago. Please share on my website and on my instagram. It’s so important to share and remember divine moment and remember your power.

EP 20: BE YOU. EVERYONE ELSE IS TAKEN.

Welcome to Mantra Monday. When you try to be someone else, you show up a lesser version of that person, because that person is already taken. You have talents and gifts and unique qualities that no one else has. It’s a scientific fact. You have a specific and unique DNA that no one else has.

Emulating is a form of flattery and we can be inspired by other people, but you have gifts to share sweet friend.

It’s time to stop playing small and be completely you. the people who don’t get it will fade away. Your tribe will find you and they’ll love you. And the best part is, you will feel great and also inspire other people to do the same.

Thanks for listening and rating this podcast! Head over to my website to sign up for my blog and stay in touch.