Mindful Pause Podcast

OH MY GOSH! We did it! Can you believe it – 50 podcast episodes. Of course, being my 50th episode, we gotta talk about GRATITUDE! Because I couldn’t do this without you! I am so grateful you are part of my tribe, and thank you for sharing this podcast and listening. I’m grateful to be part of your life each week and I really hope I make a small difference in your life and brighten your week. Thank you for letting me in your world.

Ok let’s talk gratitude, because being grateful feels so good! It means things are good in your life. Being grateful probably isn’t going to happen every single moment, every single day. Let’s be honest – you’re human. You’re going to be disappointed, feel pain, be angry, become jealous, feel down – these are normal human emotions.

 So how do you experience more gratitude?

I don’t believe in positivity Band-Aids. Positive affirmations are great, you know “Have an attitude of gratitude,” but they only go so far.

We’ve all been down in the dumps, and just saying affirmations without believing them doesn’t work. You can’t put a positivity Band-Aid on your feelings without first diving through the wound.

Instead of an affirmation, you can shift your energy when you are stuck in a negative place by focusing on being in the moment and what you are grateful for right now.

Resentment and Gratitude Cannot Co-Exist.

When I’m grateful I am not thinking about all of the things in my life that aren’t working. When I’m in resentment, there’s no way I am thinking positivity and abundance. They don’t go together. It’s your choice which one you are tuned into.

What is resentment? Resentment can be something big like being angry, holding a grudge or being really upset or having something really bad happen. It could also be something small like wishing for something different, being bored, or disappointed when things don’t work out as you planned or wished for, or just feeling blah.

Whether you’re in a dark hole or just experiencing a lull, I find I am most out of alignment with gratitude when I am somewhere other than the present moment.

Unless you’re the Dalai Lama, you’re probably not present all the time. Being mindful is a constant practice. When I’m in resentment, I’m usually turning over a drama from the past. The more you can stay engaged in life, in the present moment, here and now, the more you will notice the big and small things you are grateful for.  To me, this is how I return to gratitude.

Instead of saying an affirmation over and over, I try to be present and engage in life to witness all that is good around me. The more I am aware and notice, the more things I see and experience that I am grateful for.

Here are some ways I return to gratitude:

• Create a Gratitude journal and write in it as much as possible – at least once a week. Then each month, have some “ME” time and review. Write down everything – even that it was a sunny day and you saw butterflies or I listened to this podcast.
• Share 3 things you are grateful for that happened that day. Remember the small things, even like “I’m grateful for going to bed,”or “I’m grateful this awful day is over.”
• Write down 1 challenge you’re grateful for and what you learned. No one likes to go through challenges or deal with problems, but through discomfort and uncertainty you stretch yourself and learn that you are more resilient than you thought. In that moment, it’s not so fun, but I love looking back at these to see how strong I was. It’s a reminder that we can get through whatever we are currently dealing with.
• Keep a Gratitude jar filled with experiences or people you are grateful for, a feeling and inspirational quotes. You can pull from this each day or when you’re feeling down to lift you up.
• I keep all of my emails in a gratitude email folder, literally titled “I matter,” so when I am in a negative place wondering if anything I do matters, I can go back to this folder and read how I have made an impact and connected with you and our community. It seriously helps me shift my attitude! So, keep it coming. I love hearing from you!

I hope sharing these rituals and ways I keep gratitude present in my life helps you start a gratitude practice. It’s not about positivity Band-Aids and affirmations, but truly being present to what is good in your life now that keeps gratitude at the forefront of your mind. When you notice them more, then you will receive more to be grateful for.

I am grateful for you for listening to this podcast and enriching my life. I could not do this without you.

What ways and rituals do you bring gratitude in your life? Please share with me on instagram and here on my blog so anytime you get off centered, you can come back to this sweet list for inspiration!

This podcast is broken into two parts because shadow work is a very deep, complicated and huge part of awakening to our true nature. We will dive into specific examples of what dark and light shadows are, how you can detect a shadow and ways to integrate them back to your whole self. I share my personal relationship with my husband where our lowest selves and darkest shadows called each other to learn our greatest lessons.

Shadows are parts of our personality we hide, so we put on masks to show we are perfect. Society has groomed us to search outside ourselves for validation, keeping us in a cycle of striving for something in the future to make us happy or being stuck ruminating in the past. We are taught to never be satisfied, to believe this moment is not enough, and you are not enough. We strive to be special so we hide parts of our selves we deem unlikable or not acceptable behind masks. We feel broken and search outside ourselves for validation and love, when what we are searching for is already within us. Being authentic is special enough. It’s only through awakening and consciousness can we live in the moment, accept what is, learn to be okay with the ordinary in order to see the extraordinary in the ordinary that we can return to our whole, true authentic self and love.There is so much to share about shadow work. Today you will learn:

• what a shadow is
• how to discover your shadows
• how they can harm you
• how to learn the gift from your shadows
• how to break free from any bad cycles and conditions
• how to integrate your hidden parts of your personality back into your whole self.

When you mindfully come from a place of love rather than hate, and courage instead of fear, abundance instead of scarcity, you can be more compassionate and gentle with yourself and with others. Embrace your imperfections, vulnerability, authenticity, and the entire world within, and you will be free to create the whole, joyful and abundant life of your dreams. Your work is not to be perfect, but to be free. To be authentic. To be whole. To be loved. To be awake.

I listened to an incredible episode on Super Soul Conversations, the podcast with Oprah and Elizabeth Gilbert. Elizabeth spoke about her best friend’s death from cancer and how she fell in love with her best friend and was with her until the very last moment. I cried like a baby all the way home while listening to this podcast.

There were so many AH HA moments in that interview, but one lesson that stuck out was Elizabeth said we need to give ourselves mercy first. I have never used that word. I always thought it was only a word that priests and clergy men carrying smoky incense could only use. The word “Mercy” just brings me back to mass “May God have mercy on your soul.” It sounds too Holy to use in regular speech.

Oprah asked if you must first accept what is, then give yourself mercy. Elizabeth said that first you must have mercy before acceptance, because sometimes you cannot accept what is in the moment, so first you have to give yourself mercy that you are not in the right place or can’t accept what is in that moment.

It blew my mind. Mercy. We don’t give ourselves it enough, or even at all. You can call it mercy, or give yourself grace, compassion, patience, love or as my dad would say “cut yourself some husk.” I still don’t know what that means.

What’s really crazy is that typically we show more compassion and mercy to those we love than of ourselves. We give mercy freely to others, but not to ourselves. We are the hardest on ourselves.

Through mercy, we no longer need to punish ourselves. We are all human. We will fail and make mistakes, say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, date the wrong person, hurt someone, be judgmental, make the wrong decision, hold onto resentments far too long, we will feel guilt and shame and anger and myriad range of emotions and actions that divorce us from who we want to be. Sometimes we cannot accept what is and we are far from being in the present moment. This is a time for GRACE. Or as Elizabeth says, Mercy. Give yourself mercy. Give yourself compassion. Give yourself understanding. Give yourself patience. Give yourself love.

This is what it’s all about right? Our life is not to be small where we confine ourselves in a limited place and create unfair rules to live by, punishing ourselves and others if things don’t fall in line with our expectations. Our creator made us to live the fullest life, to experience it all. But we can only do that if we give ourselves grace and show ourselves mercy.

So, that’s my invitation to you this week. How can you show yourself as much mercy, grace, forgiveness and love this week?  As always, I love connecting with you!

My mother-in-law visited us this week. Before I tell you this story, please know I love my mother-in-law. She is such a nice, sweet person. Jill, if you’re listening, I love you.

Even though I love my mother-in-law and we get a long really well, we are each individual humans raised differently and will have different opinions. It’s probably not a good idea to talk politics, religion or about parenting choices and motherhood. But I can’t help myself- I’m an open book. 

Lately, I have been saying (a lot) that I feel broken. To give you some back story, I was in a lot of pain and I couldn’t move my neck, so this conversation didn’t start in a positive way because I physically was already feeling pretty bad. I did a yoga class on Friday and when I woke up Saturday my neck hurt so bad. I spent the day complaining and being a baby. Jill asked me to explain what I meant by “feeling broken.” I explained I feel broken because when I try to move my body the way I used to do before giving birth, something gets injured or I’m in worse pain. Things I used to be able to do easily before giving birth, now is a struggle. Who gets injured from doing a yoga class once a week!? I’m a yoga instructor – I should be able to do this. So I’m frustrated and I’m in daily pain sitting or getting up from sitting because I have a fractured tailbone and my vagina has PTSD and has to get pelvic floor therapy each week because it has scar tissue to name a few. I definitely did not say this in my loving voice.

She raised her eyebrows and slowly looked away in a look of disagreement and said, “well, when you “dwell” on your medical condition it gets worse.” This immediately triggered me. Yes, I can go to the negative very quickly. I have a loud inner critic and it often goes to the worst-case scenario. So, when she said this, it hurts my feelings. But before I could process that my feelings were hurt and respond from a conscious place, I unconsciously defended my position with “I’m not dwelling, I’m learning, Jill.” I have this really bad habit of saying someone’s name when being condescending and a know-it-all. Note to self: must work on this. Okay, part of this is true. I have been dwelling and saying “I feel broken” a little too much. But this also triggered me because I don’t believe in being positive to cover up or deny yourself the exploration of your negative emotions. Positive affirmations only go so far. You have to feel your feelings in order to process them and move passed them.

The conversation started to get a little heated. Thankfully I was smart enough to quickly excuse myself to bed before I said anything I would regret. I stewed in bed and tossed and turned and had a restless night’s sleep. In the morning, I took some time for myself to journal and put my feelings to paper. This helps me bring light to frustrated feelings and emotions so I can respond a little more compassionately to others and myself. After journaling, my defensiveness softened and I could see her point that dwelling in the negative wasn’t a good thing because it kept me from seeing the positive things in my life. Repeating this negative mantra also kept me from healing because I focused on all of the parts of my body that are “broken.” And continual complaining just keeps me stuck in victimhood, and doesn’t move me forward into my own power of taking responsibility for my feelings and healing process.

I love our Soul School community because together we connect, share, learn, grown and heal. It’s not about the destination about being perfect or knowing all of the answers, but the constant pursuit of knowledge to live our most fulfilled life that matters most. I share this story because it helped me bring perspective of where I was spending my energy, what I was channeling through my thougths, and what was I truly manifesting.

Each week, during Mantra Monday, this is an invitation or an intention. I always join you in this invitation, but for me this is a big one, because I want to feel good in my body and it’s been 7 months since giving birth to my daughter.

The invitation this week is to ask yourself: which voice are you listening to?

…The inner critic or your True Self?

…The voice that believes in scarcity or abundance?

…The voice that keeps you stuck in fear or moves you toward faith?

…The voice that is resentful or the voice of love?

…the voice that keeps you in victimhood or attune to your power?

 I truly believe we are powerful beings. You manifest your mindset. Although I don’t like uncomfortable conversations, this made me open my eyes to see I was dwelling in negativity and listening to the pessimist voice. Your thoughts are powerful. Your thoughts become things, become your feelings, your beliefs and our actions.

Oh, and that next morning, Jill and I both apologized and have a closer relationship because of it.

So, when you dip below the line this week, ask yourself which voice are you listening to and is this voice serving you and getting you closer to who you want to be?

You manifest your mindset.

Thanks for listening always and be an open heart to hear my struggles. I hope together we grow and expand into our fullest and highest selves. Let me know how this has helped you, and always, thank you for sharing!

This podcast is broken into two parts because shadow work is a very deep, complicated and huge part of awakening to our true nature. Shadows are parts of our personality we hide, so we put on masks to show we are perfect. Society has groomed us to search outside ourselves for validation, keeping us in a cycle of striving for something in the future to make us happy or being stuck ruminating in the past. We are taught to never be satisfied, to believe this moment is not enough, and you are not enough. We strive to be special so we hide parts of our selves we deem unlikable or not acceptable behind masks. We feel broken and search outside ourselves for validation and love, when what we are searching for is already within us. Being authentic is special enough. It’s only through awakening and consciousness can we live in the moment, accept what is, learn to be okay with the ordinary in order to see the extraordinary in the ordinary that we can return to our whole, true authentic self and love.There is so much to share about shadow work. Today you will learn:

• what a shadow is
• how to discover your shadows
• how they can harm you
• how to learn the gift from your shadows
• how to break free from any bad cycles and conditions
• how to integrate your hidden parts of your personality back into your whole self.

When you mindfully come from a place of love rather than hate, and courage instead of fear, abundance instead of scarcity, you can be more compassionate and gentle with yourself and with others. Embrace your imperfections, vulnerability, authenticity, and the entire world within, and you will be free to create the whole, joyful and abundant life of your dreams. Your work is not to be perfect, but to be free. To be authentic. To be whole. To be loved. To be awake.

A few weeks ago, I had the honor of speaking on a panel with 11 other incredible women at a business event sponsored by SAP Concur in honor of national small business week. We spoke about how to build and support your small business and yourself.

There was a point when I was on stage and I had a holy sh!t moment ... like pinch me!!...am I really here speaking in front of 170 people? This has been a dream of mine, but I am a VERY shy and introverted person, and honestly never thought it would happen for me UNTIL I did something BIG…like write a book…got more followers… was on a ted talk or something – basically I thought it wouldn’t happen until I became something other than who I am right now.

Guess what, you don’t have to do something really big to start following your dreams. You don’t have to become something other than who you are now. There’s NOTHING TO WAIT FOR. Everything you need is right here. It’s YOU who people want to hear from. It’s YOUR gifts that are unlike any other.

But our #ittybittyshittycommittee is a funny thing. It convinces us of what we need to do or be something else in order to reach our dreams. It terminates our momentum before we even take a step.

What is holding you back??

Take a messy step into the unknown and take action towards your dream. It can happen! Can you believe it’s already June?? Don’t let your 2019 goals to become your 2020 goals.

Small actions combined with consistent actions lead you a step closer to your goals and dreams. Then you can quiet your inner critic because you feel more confident, knowledgeable and are closer to your dreams.

One small step. That’s it. What’s your step you are committing to today, tomorrow and for the rest of this week?

What is your dream?  PLEASE share it with me on instagram and my blog. I love hearing from you. I’m in full support of you!

EP 44: Your Self Care Plan

Balance is not a destination. It is a verb. It is in flux and action. ⠀

I am always balancing. As a mom, I contemplate what actual self-care looks and feels like. Before motherhood, it was pedis and naps. Now, naps feel like a luxury.⠀

I know I am taking care of myself when I am feel in connection with myself and to others and I feel vibrant and engaged with life…. it doesn’t happen as often as I would like — this part of that whole balancing thing. ⠀ 

It’s asking for help (something I am AWFUL at!?) 

Saying NO to things that don’t light me up.

Saying YES to people who do.

I am working on getting clear on my priorities and #values because this mama can stray into procrastination and overwhelm real fast. 

I give myself a LOT of grace and love.

I teach at company retreats and public speaking events about mindfulness and the first part of giving yourself care is:

1.      Know what self-care looks and feel like for you. Start with what is important to you. Get clear on how you FEEL when you are connected to yourself and that pulse of feeling alive and engaged in life. WHAT gets you in connection.
2.     Once you know your priorities, it all comes back to being mindful so you know when you’re on track or off track.
3.     Know your triggers and plan for roadblocks and bumps. Share this with others so they can support you too (example: I can’t find a radio station I like, I get really annoyed and short with people, I’m scrolling online on facebook marketplace or on instagram, or when I keep going back to my pantry to look for something to snack on.) These triggers tell me something is off internally, and I’m searching for something outside myself. These red flags show me that I need to stop, get quiet and be present to what I need to give to myself in that moment.

Getting clear on your values and your priorities help you care for yourself more and only do the things that light you up and be with the people who fuel you.

Balance is not a destination. It is a verb. We need to shift the conversation from trying to stay in balance to that of your priorities. Life is always throwing us off balance. Ebbing and flowing is part of the natural course of life. We shouldn’t feel upset if we are off balance – it is a temporary state.

Knowing your priorities of what is most important to you will always keep you stay in line and connected to yourself.

You will ebb and flow from your center, but you have the awareness and power to bring you back to your soul and home. Awareness creates change. You have the power to heal yourself. You have all of the answers within you to know how to love and care for yourself.

EP 43: Collaboration not Competition. Celebration over Comparison

Last week I spoke at an event sponsored by SAP Concur in honor of #nationalsmallbusinessweek. I had the opportunity to be on a panel with 11 incredible women having real talk about how to build and support your #smallbusiness and yourself, how to stay in balance with your priorities and how to stay connected to yourself and each other.

So many times during the night I looked at my fellow lady leaders and thought “I am the luckiest person to be part of this positively strong women tribe!”

Being a woman is a funny thing. When we were younger, there was so much competition and comparison with each other. We put each other down, were mean to others, we judged other and criticized them. We kept ourselves in small and lonely places by separating ourselves from other girls.

Why did we waste so much energy on this? It just created more separation and cliques. I’m sure this stems from our own judgment of ourselves.

I am so grateful that THESE powerful ladies brought me into their family, and accept, support and love me. I doubt we would have run in the same circles in high school. I was far from being popular or athletic.

But I’m glad we could come together now as women, mature women. It just shows how powerful it is that we can collaborate and celebrate each other. No competition. No comparison. Just celebration.

I am so thankful to these goddesses for continually inspiring me to be my highest self and to remind us that we are all the same souls, seeking connection and love.

This week, my invitation to you is how can you stay in celebration of others? How can you support others? How can you stay in that abundance mindset?

Notice when you dip below the line and start to compare yourself to someone else or when you judge them – because really you are just judging yourself. Notice when you start to listen to your itty-bitty-shitty-committee and dip into that place of scarcity and not enoughness, of lack of time, money, love, resources – whatever it is that makes you feel like a victim.

As soon as you are aware of this scarcity mindset, you immediately connect back to your power to create change in your beliefs and actions. 

Please let me know how this is helping you this week! We gotta support each other girlfriend! I know when I am in support of people, the universe supports me right back. Abundance not scarcity. That’s the mantra this week. Holler at me on instagram and on my blog. And to see these ladies, head over to my blog

EP 42:  Stop Procrastinating and Manifest Your Dreams with L’areal Lipkins

I hope to share topics that lift you up and inspire you to live your fullest life. Today, I am excited to have L’areal Lipkins on the podcast because she is just the right person to help you conquer your goals and manifest your dreams.

I all too well know that feeling where I set some lofty goal and then fail to meet it. It is soul crushing and deflates my self-worth. Do you know that gut wrenching feeling too when you make a promise to yourself that you don’t keep?

L’areal is the owner of Vision Boards over Brunch and author of, A Woman With Vision: How to Fulfill the Goals and Dreams God Has Given You, helping people get clear of their core WHY behind their goals, and will show you how to easily accomplish your goals in order to live your fullest life.

Everyone has dreams. Goal setting is easy and can be fun, but the EXECUTION is so dang hard. She shows you how to overcome procrastination by being mindful of the goals you keep recycling and your excuses.

If your goals are bigger than your belief system, you will never accomplish them. She shows you how to replace negative self-talk with a positive mindset and take actions to align with what you desire.

Ya’ll ready to hear L’areal’s tips of how to give yourself permission to outgrow yourself in order to manifest your dreams? Well, friend, grab a pen and journal --- here we go!

https://www.lareallipkins.com

EP 41: MM: Just because some things are broken, doesn’t mean all things are broken

Okay, I’m gonna preface this by saying I know this will totally sound like I am not listening to my own teachings. I have been a bit below the line lately and have been in a slight scarcity mindset.

My podcast is not about having it all together or even claiming to know all of the answers. My intention for this podcast is to be raw and real, and sometimes that looks like showing up exactly as I am, flawed and insecure. I don’t think we truly seek perfection. I think we are really inspired by authenticity. So, I hope our conversations are more like we are having a glass of wine and chatting it up with soul-filled yummy info, rather than a teacher/student type vibe.

So, here goes: I have been feeling old and broken. Not important. A has been. UGH just saying it out loud makes me cringe. I promise you my thoughts aren’t as bad as it just sounds out loud. Or maybe they are? Having a baby with new roles and responsibilities and changing identities and now having to really manage the little time I have to be with you has triggered my itty-bitty-shitty-committee in major ways. Maybe you can relate?

Any change in our life, whether wanted or unwanted, triggers insecurities.

Because I am not teaching as many yoga classes, I have been feeling, well, kind of broken. Lost. Unimportant. My inner critic has been loud since having a baby tricking me into believing thoughts like:

“You’re not doing enough. You don’t have enough time to accomplish your goals. You’re too old. You’re not teaching enough. You will be forgotten.”

Some of this is true. Since having a baby and not teaching as many yoga classes, other yogis have replaced my classes and those classes are thriving (without me). Very painful for my Ego. I’ve seen similar workshops that I used to teach now on the market taught by other yogis. I feel replaced and forgotten. My Ego quickly gets fired up by this, but when I tune into my True Self, I know this is just part of change.

Things must die in order for rebirth to happen. Nature is a great example of this.

So, my point is that although you may feel broken, not all things are broken.

When I can realistically and honestly look at all of the abundance that surrounds me, then I can wake up to the opportunities and the things I am grateful for. Instead of being stuck in a dark hole and only seeing what isn’t working, I can shift my perspective and open to the opportunities of change. Only when I am open I can receive the gifts from the Universe. If I am still in the dark hole, I will never see it or appreciate these gifts.

For example, just this past week, I was asked to be a lululemon ambassador – again! This will be my 3rd time as an ambassador. In the fitness world, it’s a big deal, especially when a store asks you to come on a second time. This rarely happens! There are so many great influencers and fitness and yoga instructors, so it makes sense that every 2 years a new one is chosen to represent the city and store.

At a time where I am experiencing a lot of transition, not only in my personal life with the loss of my dad and birth or my daughter, but also in my career life with reducing teaching yoga classes and trying to have more influence online through creating my Soul School program and hosting my podcast… all of this change can be scary.

This was a major gift to me as a reminder that life and our roles ebb and flow. We must flow with life in order to truly experience it fully. Otherwise we would just see everything as broken.

When I asked lululemon why they picked me, they said that one of their values in the company is GROWTH. It’s not about how many yoga classes I am teaching, but about how I am continually growing as a human to expand my impact in our community. I cried – like bawled like a child cry.

Even though I may feel broken, not all things are broken.

I am truly grateful that this company believes in me when my belief in myself was shaky. It is a reminder to get out of our own way and still see the good through the uncertainty. There are a ton of incredibly talented yoga teachers in our community, and I am thankful they chose me: a mom, who is lovingly trying to keep her shit together, shower daily and change the world.

So, right now friend, think of how you are supported. Expand your thinking and see the creative ways the Universe is opening up doors for you. Pull yourself out of that dark hole and see what is blooming. Just because you may feel broken, please don’t see all things as broken. You are loved, adored, and supported. Open your eyes. Celebrate yourself. And most importantly give yourself grace.

I would love to hear from you on my blog, Instagram or Facebook