Mindful Pause Podcast

As a mom, I feel the tug of comparison all around me: comparing my baby’s progress to others, judging how I am as a mom and worrying if I’m doing things right, feeling judged by other moms, and sometime even judging those moms.

Judgement keeps us separate from each other and from ourselves.

It’s not just motherhood though – it’s every aspect of our life that our ego wants to compare and judge. Whether it’s in your career and business life, your role as a partner or parent, or just plain being HUMAN, our ego compares + competes + judges.

The #ittybittyshittycommittee can shout so loud and compare you to others dragging you down into a scarcity mindset.

Comparison shows up when you’re not being present to the good that’s in front of you.

It’s only through mindfulness of your inner critic that you return to your truth.

That “voice” doesn’t matter.

It’s just chatter that’s keeping you stuck in a loop that’s not good for you.

You are doing enough. You are enough.

Forget comparison and start celebrating – all that is working in your life – all that is good – all that you are.

Head over to the SHOW NOTES to leave a comment :)

EP 59: Let go of your Kung-Fu Grip

Expectation is the root of all heartache – William Shakespeare

Want something so badly, you force It and squeeze it to death. Have you been there? I have too. In our relationships, in our expectations of others, in the outcome, and our desires. We squeeze it to death.

So how do you let go of your kung fu grip and detach from something you really want?

Our dreams, our identities, our ambitions, our relationships are often cocoons that lead us to the next. The cocoon has served its purpose. We get so understandably attached and get in conflict when it breaks or falls away, that we don’t see what it opens us to.

It’s a practice to Surrender control.

Set your intention. The key ingredient is to detach. Let go control. And most important have fun with it. Be at ease with it. When you can soften your grip and see what flows to you with an open mind, you will find that sweet balance between effort and ease and get in the flow with the universe rather than against it.

This may sound easy for something you don’t really want or need, but what if it’s something you want badly? Like a relationship? With THAT person? You and I’ve been there before. We meet someone. It’s instant fireworks. You start planning your wedding and names for your children. But then he starts to pull away. The feeling someone is falling out of like with you suckkkkks! Instead of shrugging your shoulders and saying “man, that’s a bummer. If not this relationship, then it’s opening doors for something better.” Your ego is saying “NO, this HAS to work out. we are meant for each other,” and starts to do all sorts of things to control the situation and the person. You may even convince him to stay – for a little while longer, but eventually fate will win.

Or you try to control an outcome. You outline what you want, when you want it and how exactly you want it to be delivered to you. But, you see, the universe has plans for you. it still may be that plan, but may be a different timing. Or not. Controlling keeps you from experiencing that moment as it is and keeps you separate from joy. Even if you received some of what you wanted, you may be disappointed when it doesn’t work out exactly as you wanted. You will miss the gifts the universe is giving to you.

The ego feels good when it feels like it’s in control. The things is, we aren’t in control of outcomes or people. Although it may feel good to have a projected outcome and feel in control, it doesn’t feel good trying to paste things together when they’re meant to fall apart. Or forcing something to happen, and missing the joy in the process.

The only thing you have control over is yourself – your thoughts, your emotions and your actions and words.

We’re always holding on to something – holding on to a relationship, controlling a person or an outcome, or even holding on to a certain belief or retelling a story that limits you.

Whatever it is you’re holding so tightly to, what would happen if you released it? If you were truly free from the attachment of how and when you wanted it to work out for you? it’s hard work. It takes practice to let go and stay open. It takes vulnerability. It requires you to befriend uncertainty and that you have Faith that you are experiencing what you are supposed to be experiencing right now.

By letting go, you would be free to experience what was meant for you. Not who or what you were holding onto, but what and who are really supposed to be in your life. instead of resisting the flow of Life, you will be with the flow of the Universe.

What would happen if you said NO for 2-days?

I got so many responses from the last Mantra Monday! Apparently, we are all nice people and people pleasers!

Hopefully saying no to the things that don’t light you up, are not crucial and no to the people who drain you has helped put perspective on how important you and your time are.

It’s not a selfish thing to say no. I used to think that too. In fact, it’s pretty selfless because when you do say yes, you show up fully present to that person or that situation with your cup full.

I felt so good with last week’s mantra Monday on carefully guarding my time and prioritizing it, that I went a step further. Inspired by Tim Ferris, I said NO for 2 whole days! It’s harder than it sounds!

Obviously, if you have a boss and are working, you can’t say no – at least to everything. Of course, you’ll have to say yes to some things, but just make sure it’s really important – like crucial tasks that you must do or meetings you have to attend.

Think about it, how often do you take meeting when you don’t really need to be there, or stay on a call too long, or hang out with your neighbor when she depletes you, or say yes to a task and then resent yourself for saying yes to it in the first place. Because you said YES to other people and other tasks, they are now constricting your time, forcing you to feel stressed and be busy multitasking, or even worse, you now have to forgo the most important things in your life.

So, I said no. NO, especially to the things I did not want to do or at least the things that did not need to happen in those 2 days. That was easy.

The hard part was saying no to the things I really wanted to do, like hang with friends. Why did I do this? Because frankly, I have no discipline. Typically, I play first, then work second. You know that research experiment where they give a child 1 cookie and tell them that if they wait for 10 minutes, they can have another cookie? If you don’t know this experiment, please Youtube it, because it’s the funniest thing ever – watching kids sit on their hands and roll their eyes trying not to eat the cookie. The point behind the experiment is that it can foresee who is going to be successful through their willpower and discipline. I have no willpower – remember, my alter-ego, fat kid Freddy? Hence, the play first, work second.

So, this was actually really hard but really good for me to do. But, in those 2 days of saying no, I got so much done. And guess what? None of my friends noticed or were upset by it (hello my people pleaser syndrome). I just pushed it off to a time the following week that worked for me. And it also worked for them. Win-win. No resentment or added stress.

The most important gift I received from saying NO was SPACE. There was so much space! Space to get what I really needed to get done, space for me to say yes to people and events that I may have needed to say no to because my schedule was full, space for me to do my self-care on my pelvic floor, my neck, space to do some yoga everyday, space to be present to Hunter and my husband, space for me to journal, space … space. For possibilities.

We say we have no time, but we may be poor at managing it. When you can say no, you receive space. Space to do whatever you want! You can choose. This is the best part!

I haven’t felt space for a long time. and it’s totally my fault.

So wanna try it with me? 2-days seems like an eternity, but it’s great to get you in the practice of saying no. you don’t need to answer every call, or text or check your email now. You also don’t have to be mean about it. You can say “Hmm, that sounds like so much fun, but I can’t today, how about next week? Or I would love to hop in that meeting tomorrow, but I’m pretty busy this week, can you send me an email so we can get your issues answered as soon as possible for you? SPACE!

It’s amazing how much space you’ll have just by saying no. it’s just 2 days. In that space take time for yourself. Check off those things that have been on your list for months (or years!), really have self-care (not some rushed version of it), and spend time doing the things you love with the people you love. That’s what life is really all about isn’t it? We have a finite time here on earth. Spend it where it feeds your soul as much as possible.

Our most valuable asset is time. we often don’t guard it like the precious commodity it is. We give it away freely, and then say we don’t have enough time, or we’re just too busy to get the things that are most important to us done.

I’m super guilty of this. I’m a total people pleaser, and I’m an optimist thinking I can really get it all done in the time I have.

When I say yes to something, I’m also saying no to many other things. Things I may really enjoy better. Things I may need to do that are important for my business. Things that may deepen my relationships. Things that may be good for my body and spirit.

Are the things we say yes to more important than the things we unconsciously say no to? That’s what we’re exploring today. 

In today’s mantra Monday, my invitation is to take a moment to look at your week. Are ALL of the things you said yes to important – are they crucial for your personal growth, your health and wellbeing, are they important because they’re strengthening your relationships that are most important to you, are they moving the ball forward in your business?

When I did this exercise, I found over 2 dozen things I was doing this week that were not important. When I looked at what I could’ve been doing (or should’ve been doing) instead, it really put things into perspective.

Just yesterday, for example, I cut a podcast, but really needed to get more done off my list because I had a babysitter – that’s golden time! Instead, I chose to go to 3 different stores looking for pots for my plants. Something I did not plan on doing, but took several hours – precious hours! I washed my car, paid some bills, took out the trash, checked instagram 3 times, email 6 times, hopped on an impromptu meeting call that could have waited, and looked online for shoes for an upcoming wedding. These are not important tasks. I will get to them eventually, but yesterday I had a babysitter and need to work and do self-care.

We all have a CHOICE – I made a choice to do this over that, it really made me sad – and upset! Things I missed out were: a workout, (something I have promised myself to move my body every day), I didn’t do my pelvic floor exercises (which as y’all know, this is important on so many levels for myself and my romantic relationship with Jake and I), I didn’t make dinner for myself so I ate a slice of pizza on the road and felt guilty about it after, I didn’t write my blog or finish 2 other podcasts (which was on my things to do list), I didn’t reach out to potential guests for the podcast (also on my to do list) and I didn’t get a nap (which was really needed) because I taught late last night.

Basically, I spent my time elsewhere, and I gipped myself. I didn’t give myself the things that I really needed and wanted for my business, my health, my relationships and honestly, my self-worth.

When I look at this through the lens of choice, it makes me sad as well as upset with myself for prioritizing my time and giving it away so easily to things that don’t matter as much as other things that are critical to my wellbeing, relationships and business.

So, I reviewed my week and what and who I have said yes to. I had to do some rearranging and say no, make some cancelations, shorten up meetings and prioritize what is important.

So, this week’s mantra is: If it’s not a hell yeah, then it’s a hell no. not a maybe, or a wish that you can get it all done. Bring your choices to your consciousness and understand where you are spending your time. Ask yourself what are you sacrificing when you say YES to this person or this meeting, or call, or event, or task? What are you giving up? Is this more important?

We go so quickly through our day, multitasking and being busy, and then feel exhausted and wondering where the time went.

Time is your most precious energy. Protect it. Guard it. Remember everything is a choice. When you say yes to one thing, you are saying no to another. So consciously take control of your power and your life by only saying yes to what lights you up, yes to the people who energize you not to the people who deplete you or timewasters, yes to the things that move the ball forward for you. Try it this week – I’ll be right alongside you, and let me know on my blog or instagram how this one thing has impacted you.

I adore this woman and I know you will too! I had to have Mary Beth LaRue on the show today because she exudes courage, honesty and authenticity and frankly, she just has a special way of connecting to people and making them feel like they’re home 

Mary Beth shares her journey of intimately knowing uncertainty and courageously showing up to motherhood and to love daily.

Motherhood is a courageous endeavor, but motherhood through foster care and adoption takes the ultimate resilience and heart. The fear you may lose your baby at any time forces you to RELISH. IN. EVERY. SINGLE. MOMENT. Gratitude takes on a whole new meaning.

As much as we try to control the outcome, the one constant we can count on in LIFE is CHANGE.

By embracing IMPERMANENCE, Mary Beth shares how she has received the ultimate gift of PRESENCE. 

Through her courageous journey to motherhood, she reminds us to be present now. MB, thank you for our soulful conversation today. We are lucky to have you as an inspirational light that helps guide us back to gratitude and love.

Connect with Mary Beth LaRue  and ROCK YOUR BLISS

Jon me at the SHOW NOTES as I always love our conversations!

Did you know you have 50,000-70,000 thoughts a day? Usually there the same thoughts you had yesterday, and often they are negative.

So, today, we are just going to hit PAUSE...BREATHE... & REPEAT to help de-clutter any of the chatter in your mind.

Hope this helps bring some clarity and peace to your day.

Meet Linda Tate, who teaches conscious wealth management. What the heck is that? I didn’t know either, so that’s why I had to have her on the show to learn how our mindset affects our wealth and reflects our worth.

She has always been passionate about the Wellness world and believes that Wellbeing is not just about food, fitness and mindfulness, but also includes your consciousness about money and your relationship to it.

Linda left a dream job as VP at Morgan Stanley to transition into Holistic nutrition and wellness earning her yoga training at Sivananda Ashram, becoming a Plant based chef and an Integrative health coach studying under Tony Robbins. She also is a co-host on Rise to Thrive podcast, but her main passion is helping people create consciousness about holistic wealth management.

Today on Soul School with Audrey, Linda shares how you can:

• Become aware of your subconscious limited beliefs about money and your worth
• Rewrite the story about expansion of wealth and the possibilities around money
• Take practical steps to create a Conscious portfolio and manage your finance so it’s in alignment with your life values

For many of us, money can be an uncomfortable topic to talk about. There’s a lot of scarcity, shame and judgment around this topic. Hopefully today, our conversation helps you expand your thinking about the possibilities around wealth, your worth and the mindfulness of money.

How has this topic changed your thinking? Let me know on my blog or on instagram!

I’m so excited to have my friend, teacher and mentor, Jana Wilson on the show today. Jana first introduced me to shadow work and inner child connection many years ago. She is an Old Soul and a master healer who has learned from all of the great teachers: Deepak Chopra, Debbie Ford, Esther hicks, Mary Ann Williamson, Dr. David Simon, Dr Brian Weiss – I’m sure you’ve heard of these guys. She has her Certification in Primordial Sound Meditation, the Law of Attraction, she is a Heartmath certified coach and trained in regression therapy.  Jana is an incredible coach and healer who helps people see their light within in order to know and value themselves.

Today, Jana shares her tumultuous childhood of her abusive parents - at the young age of 8 her mom held a gun to her head, and how she rose above the turmoil transforming to serve and heal others by healing and loving herself. 

She shares her powerful story of how she healed her childhood wounds by healing her core beliefs and manifested her dream life. And boy, does she have a beautiful life and family now. Through healing her inner child, Jana proves that it’s never too late to have a happy childhood. Jana shares how you too can heal your core beliefs that are holding you back and return to your innate goodness within. I loved talking with Jana and I hope she comes back on the show. I hope you enjoy our conversation too!

Learn more about Jana Wilson at: https://www.emotionalhealingretreat.com

Go to the SHOW NOTES and visit me on instagram - I love hearing from you!

I want to share what happened last week when I asked my dear friend for her feedback about this podcast. She gave me some great, honest advice. She said she could tell I’m reading from a script, and she wants to hear ME, my personality. I thanked her and then quickly had to get off the phone because Hunter was having a meltdown in the car – so I was really abrupt.

I believe our relationships are here to help awaken our consciousness, learn lessons about ourselves, expand and grow into our fullest selves. If we are unconscious, then we may miss the lesson. If we are open and aware, we will deepen our relationship with ourselves as well as our connection to each other.

So, one of the things I have been working on my whole life is being open to criticism. I am a very sensitive soul, and I used to get my feelings hurt with any kind of criticism. Instead of seeing criticism as feedback, I totally saw it as failure. Often this would completely stop me from moving forward, or I would quit all together.

Similarly, one of the things my friend is working on is being okay to share and speak her voice, that giving her opinion, when asked is totally great to share. When you bottle up your emotions, they come out in unexpected ways. Healthy communication is a great skill to have, but it takes practice.

Because I had to get off the phone so quickly, I think it triggered a doubt in her that maybe she shouldn’t have shared her opinion or that I was offended. She called me later that week, but I didn’t return her call because I was busy. Our minds can wander into so many stories, that aren’t true. When she called me a second time, I knew that maybe something was triggered and that I needed to call her back to reassure her that her feedback was appreciated and that I wasn’t mad.

It was so subtle, that if I wasn’t conscious I would probably miss it and she may have been feeling guilty or upset with herself for sharing. If we both weren’t working on ourselves, I may have taken her criticism personally or she may have continued to turn some false story about how I’m not calling her back because I’m mad at her. That’s the power of our mind. It can play tricks on us.

Only through consciousness can we create our change. That’s the great thing about working on yourself, is that we are in relationship together to grow. At the end of the day we are both the same souls who want the same thing and have the same fears. We both don’t want to be rejected. We are both learning the same lesson to let go of feeling offended and not take situations personally.

So for mantra Monday, my invitation is Don’t take it personally.  This is way easier to say than to do. We get triggered by something and our mind takes us down various scenarios and what-ifs. It’s like wearing pink sunglasses and thinking everything in the world is pink, but all we need to do is remove our rose-colored glasses to see clearly.

A lot of the time it has nothing to do with you. If you can show up open without any preconceived notions, how would you should up differently? How would this open your mind if you can remove your rose-colored glasses. What is there? What isn’t there? Would you be more relaxed and show up authentically if you could drop your defenses and judgements?

I have been working on this for decades of trying to let go of things personally, dropping the stories and what-ifs and accepting it’s really impossible to know exactly how the other person is feeling, and that it probably has nothing to do with me. I hope this helps you too this week to relax, let go of worry and just BE YOU!

Meet Tedx speaker, Megan Gallagher, who has turned her anxiety into purpose now as a mental health advocate for young adults. She’s an author, blogger and a speaker and she’s just 23 years old. 

Did you know, one in three teens will feel chronic anxiety? This is an alarming statistic! Today on the Soul School podcast, Megan and I talk about how she turned her pain into her passion to serve others who have anxiety. Megan shares about her experience with panic attacks and gives advice of how you can support your loved ones who may suffer from anxiety and advice to anyone who has anxiety.

I learned so much about how anxiety is affecting our youth. I hope our conversation today can help inspire someone in your life to know they are valued, loved and powerful.

Head over to the show notes for a quick review of Megan’s steps to help with anxiety as well as advice for parents. As always, thank you for listening, sharing and reviewing this podcast!