You may have heard this one: You can win, or you can learn. Are you learning?

Thanks for joining me today to talk about THAT kind of learning.

I've always loved learning, especially as a younger school child. Not everyone loves learning. In fact, sometimes stretching to understand, and experiencing the discomfort that goes with it, is a very tough experience.

Someone might say that you're naive to try to appreciate a hard situation and learn from it. But when you have two options--to choose negativity of the failure, or to own it and choose to learn from it, the power and resilience is yours!

We can handle just about anything, with a learning attitude. Join me for today's podcast.

Are You Staying Stagnant?

Being comfortable is a really great thing. It feels good to be comfortable.

Like your favorite sweater. A soft pair of slippers. Your "chair." Or the way the driver's seat is set up for you in your car.

Your comfort zone is a safe space that makes us feel goof, familiar, and relaxed. We don't have to be too alert, try unusual things, or stretch.

But in the comfort zone, we also have expectations. This invites judgement, accusation, and disappointment.

In the comfort zone, we start to live in the land of expectations and disappointment. And pretty soon, we are stagnant.

Being stagnant feels "samey" all the time. Like eating the same foods all the time, a pretty bland diet.

As I coach others, it seems they typically want to find a zest for life again. That one thing that will fuel their excitement for life.

Yet it seems that we also want to stay comfortable.....

If you're feeling stagnant, from being in your comfort zone too long, today's podcast is for you.

If you really want to achieve your goals this year, there are four steps you can take to make success much more likely. In fact, by achieving your goals, you just might be extraordinary!

Take some time to consider why you want to achieve the goal. Dig deep here. It's got to be important to you. A superficial reason just won't cut it. What feeling do you hope to get from achieving this goal? And what kind of person will you need to be to reach it?

You can take that even further, and consider how not reaching this goal is keeping you stuck. What are you suffering by not reaching the goal? Sometimes considering the painful reality of what you're facing right now is the biggest motivator for change. It can help you stay motivated to reach your goal.

When you've clarified why you want to reach this goal, you can break it down into smaller pieces to take action. And even then your doubts creep into your mind, or your hidden saboteurs attack, you can keep going.

Join me for today's podcast and learn these four tips to help you reach your goals this year, for extraordinary goal achievement.

New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.

In today's podcast, you will learn three tips to help you create better goals in 2022.

If you have ever started a new year with good intentions and found it easy to forget the goal, you're not alone. Most people fail to keep new year's resolutions. But this year, to help you have the best chance of success, I'm sharing three tips for better goals.

Here they are:

Set imperfect goals.

Focus on process, not outcome.

Use strategy.

If you focus on imperfect goals, you have more flexibility to reach them. You can accommodate interruptions, and unplanned events. You can reach your goals this time.

When you design your goals around process, instead of outcome, you can build in the behaviors you need to reach the goal. And you're much more likely to reach it.

Lastly, using strategy means that you create goals around the ideas if what you will uniquely do to reach them, and what you will not do. You will make tough decisions and weed out some options. You will focus on differentiating your goal from the common goals of your past. And you will intensely focus. Here, you carve out your special niche.

Join me in today's episode of the podcast, and take advantage of three tips to reach your goals this year in new, extraordinary ways.

New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.

If you're looking for a way to close out 2021, you can use your strengths to celebrate the past year.

We all have strengths, and perhaps you already know what they are. You have talents. Positive attributes. And if you want, you can take an assessment to discover more.

The VIA Character Strengths inventory is a strength survey you might enjoy. And the Gallup StrengthsFinder is another. Whatever method you use to discover your strengths, enjoy them.

Noticing your strengths can help you appreciate who you are. And, when you look at the past year through a strength-based lens, you will learn something new.

You will learn that you have done very well this year. And, you got through challenges by applying your strengths. You might have even developed new strengths!

Listen to the podcast episode for more details....

New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.

Have you ever wondered how to coach when you lead or teach others? You can help others succeed when you use a coach approach in your leadership or teaching.

There are four main ways in which you might coach others. The directive style is more teaching-focused, and you might see this in prepared coach-style classes professional coaches offer. The supportive or co-active approach is much more client or others-centered, where the coach asks questions to guide the person to come to their own insight and ideas. Regardless of the way you coach, coaching is all about helping someone else learn, grow, and become both confident and self-reliant.

If you're not sure how to use a coach approach, I recommend starting with the GROW model, which is well-known and easy to use. This model offers four parts to a basic coaching conversation and works in leadership, teaching, informal conversations, and intentional coaching.

And of course, before you have the conversation, get your mind into a space where you really are genuinely curious. Trying to coach anyone while you have an agenda of your own about their growth is not helpful. Developing curiosity to help means that you are open to learning, and you adopt a beginner's mind toward the person you're coaching.

Here is Your Basic GROW Model for Coaching

G = Goal. What is the goal? What are you tying to achieve? What does it look like, and how will you know when you have it?

R = Reality. Where are you starting from? What is your status right now, related to your goal? What is it costing you to be in the current reality, compared to reaching this goal?

O = Options. What are your options? If you could wake up tomorrow and have the answer, what would it be? What is one tiny way to move toward your goal? What is a giant leap toward your goal?

W = Will. After identifying and exploring options, what will you do? What resources do you have to support your choice? And, what kind of accountability might support your progress?

If you have already been pushing the person you'd like to coach, it's not too late. You can always try again, have a fresh start, and change directions. For more ideas about using a coach approach in your leadership and teaching, and to walk through the steps of the GROW model, listen to this podcast episode.

New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.

Today, we're going to look at how to be more confident. Are there times when you'd prefer to be more confident?

Perhaps it's a situation in which you're leading others, or teaching.

Maybe you are launching your business idea.

Whatever it is, in today's podcast I'll give you three tips to move forward with confidence.

Just click to listen...

New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.

If you want to reach your goals, and you've never attained them before, it's time to stretch your comfort zone. In today's podcast, we talk about what it takes to reach new, different goals.

Are you open to doing new things?

Does this depend on your potential audience?

Video Podcast: Click to view this podcast in video form!

Today, we will consider stretches that are low-stakes, and those that are high-stakes. The degree to which you are willing to stretch might vary, based on the degree of change you'll need to make, your chances of failure, and your potential for audience response. For example, if you're alone and trying something new, it's not that hard.

But in front of an audience, things might be much more challenging!

Consider reaching those lofty goals you have set. This time is different. You will try things you have never tried before. And this takes an effort to stretch your comfort zone.

New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.

It might surprise you, but one thing can bring confidence, connection, and resilience. It's family history!

Take a moment to listen to the podcast, and consider how you can increase your confidence by learning about your ancestors and who they were, knowing that they are part of who you are. Feel connection to your larger family group when you get to know them, even though they may no longer be living. Finding details and stories about your ancestors can help you see that your own life isn't solitary. You are part of a larger network of people who have struggled, suffered, learned, and brought you here. Connecting to them brings strength and community through a sense of being part of a family, something much bigger than just you. And researching your family history builds resilience. As you find tips and clues about your family members long past, you learn about traits you also have. And this tells you that there is so much more to you than who you are right now.

Here are some of the resources I consulted in preparing this podcast for you today:

* https://medlineplus.gov/genetics/understanding/inheritance/familyhistory/

* https://www.familysearch.org/en/blog/why-we-need-family-history-now-more-than-ever

* https://www.realmofhistory.com/2016/12/07/why-ancestors-bigger-impact-than-you-think/

* https://thefoxmagazine.com/dreaming-bigger/genealogy-the-importance-of-knowing-your-roots/

* https://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/17/fashion/the-family-stories-that-bind-us-this-life.html

New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.

Having a mindset to let go and forgive means that we release the past, get present to our experience right now, and generate energy to find peace and thrive. In today's podcast, Dr. Bethanie Hansen shares strategies to release your connection to negative stories of the past, including self-blame and regret.

The four main ideas we'll explore include:

Release regrets. When dwelling on regrets from your past, recognize that they are only alive in your mind. They did happen, but they happened in the past. Other than your memory bringing them to life, these events no longer exist. What could happen if you allow yourself to let go, and stop carrying the weight of the past? When we are focused on regrets from the past, we cannot be fully present right now. As a result, we will be less than we can be, because we hold ourselves back. Forgiving ourselves can be the most important type of forgiveness we can choose.

Be open to the possibilities of the present moment. Sometimes, we refuse to forgive and keep telling stories of someone who wronged us or some way in which we were victimized, so that we won't have to fully live in the present. If we let go of the past, will we choose to be open to the present? Are we willing to live in the current moment, and to experience what we have right now? Being open to the present by letting go of the past opens us to the possibility of courageously living with all of the challenges we're facing right now, and it can make room to feel peace despite so much chaos in the world.

Let go by trying physical actions that anchor your choice. One way to physically let go is to hold your hands up in front of you and push them away, saying out loud what you're letting go of. A second way to physically let go is to open the door and invite the thought or story you've been holding onto to leave, then closing the door and letting go of that thought. The body holds feelings we have experienced over time, and for this reason, you might begin to feel physical relief from some of the negative influences that previously held you back.

Notice what's real. Just as we must let go of the past to live in the present fully, we can anchor our thoughts in the present by physically touching things in the room with us and saying aloud, "This is real." Although this strategy might seem silly, it's a great way to remind ourselves that the thoughts bringing us anger, resentment, anxiety, and pain are just thoughts. They aren't really events happening in the present, if they are coming from relationships, events, or experiences in the past. They are in the mind, and by getting in touch with the physical reality around us right now, we can get focused on what's real and let go of what's not.

Some of the ideas shared about forgiveness in today's podcast come from "The CBT Deck for Anxiety, Rumination, & Worry, " by Seth J. Gillihan, PHD, published by PESI Publishing & Media, and available on Amazon.Com.

New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.