*Chandler voice* Could this episode BE any longer? Lucky you, this one's filled to the brim with everything you need to know about the celebrities you don't. What do you need to know? That Miranda Kerr is in position of a 'stolen' crystal baby grand piano, given to her by a Malaysian scammer. That Kirk Cameron ran his sister Candace (Cameron Bure) over with a go-kart. That the Golden Globes nominees were announced and there were so many Whos: Denzel's son, someone from Degrassi, 2 Maisels and Olivia Colman! That the Love Advent Calendar has gone MISSING. That Patrick Dempsey is selling his wife Jillian's vibrating gold facial bar on Instagram????? That a Bachelor contestant already released a Notes app apology, and a DWTS showmance has already soured. That RHONY's Ramona is smooching the ex husband of another RHONY. That Pharrell loooooooves his AMEX. That we're playing a game called "Gossip Cop Cop" (you'll love it) and that Rita Ora is up to something. She always is!

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