Misfortune Cookies

Tom & Steph talk about what it was like to work as Asian American nurses during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. They describe the fear, trauma, and exhaustion they experienced at the frontlines. Nevertheless, Tom and Steph also share how they found resilience and hope by learning to lean on each other - and their dog, Remy.

Note: This episode was recorded in August 2021.

Joyce talks to Erin about her journey growing up as a Chinese American girl in a middle eastern country before moving to the US for college. Our discussion includes:

- The role of women in the Middle East vs in the West/United States

Karl talks to Vi about her journey as the daughter of Vietnamese refugees. Vi shares about:

- The difference between healing and the mental health "industry"

- Intergenerational trauma and relating to her parents using the youth development model

- The Asian American identity model

- Experiencing the 2016 election: tension at home and why protests or political action are triggering to family members

- How COVID-19 and being home became a turning point in her relationship with family

Additional Resources:

- On intergenerational trauma: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-me-in-we/201205/how-trauma-is-carried-across-generations

- On Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95ovIJ3dsNk

Follow Vi on Instagram (@criticalhealingmoment) or on her YouTube channel (https://www.youtube.com/criticalhealingmoment)!

[CW: Mention of self harm] Linde talks to Alex about his complex racial identity journey as the son of Vietnamese refugees. Alex shares about:

- Being pushed away from Vietnamese community, finding a home in the Chicano community instead and wanting to be a gang member

- Coping with his mom’s cancer diagnosis and a breakup in college

- Finding healing through ethnic studies and becoming curious about the Vietnam war, which his dad fought in

- Reconnecting with the Vietnamese community, and some of the difficult political dynamics involved

- Feeling disconnected from the umbrella Asian American story, which typically draws from upper-middle class and East Asian narratives

Rachel chats with our guest, Albert, as he shares his educational upbringing as a first generation Taiwanese American raised in the Silicon Valley. As the “black sheep” of the family, he offers his story as a counter-narrative to the typical East Asian American experience in the Bay Area. His story includes:

- Growing up overweight, getting terrible grades, and struggling with both ADD (attention deficit disorder) and OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder)

- How his family came to terms with his academic struggle and learning differences

- Pursuing a career in the humanities rather than STEM

- Navigating an academically toxic schooling environment

- The relationship between meritocracy and privilege

- How his upbringing informs his pedagogy as a teacher today

We talk to guests Ernest and Joyce about the ups and downs of their dating experiences. We cover a lot of ground, but some highlights include:

- The dating narratives they grew up with (e.g. “kissing dating goodbye”)

- Racial dynamics in dating - Is it okay to have racial preferences? Stereotypes that Asians have to deal with?

- Swiping, ghosting, dating fatigue, and mental health

- How to be a good friend to single friends

We're finally back with Season 2 of the Misfortune Cookies Podcast...and with an announcement!

Follow us on Instagram for updates: https://www.instagram.com/misfortunecookiespodcast/.

What happened to the intro audio? What is the podcast's real origin story? Has it helped or harmed our marriage? What's going to happen in 2021? Who and what do we mean by Asian American? (hint: not Rachel). And what does the term mental health even mean, anyway? We answer all these questions and more in our final episode of the inaugural season of the Misfortune Cookies podcast!

[CW: Sexual assault, suicidal thoughts/attempts] As a child, James experienced a series of traumatic events, but was forbidden to speak about them due to the stigma involved. He describes how he came to develop a rigid, transactional understanding of relationships, and how this framework ultimately failed him as an adult. Today, James is grateful and proud to be a bicultural Asian American, and works hard to enjoy the best of both worlds.

Growing up in a body considered unattractive by others, Mary Ann internalized feelings of unworthiness at a very young age. These messages led her to develop an unsustainable identity rooted in self-erasure, yet her self-denial was celebrated in Asian evangelical culture. We discuss the cultural glorification of romantic relationships: how it intensified her loneliness, and how it continues to alienate those who do not participate in the church's relational hierarchy.