Most communication is misunderstood by default.

I break down why INFPs and ISTJs keep missing each other even when they care deeply, and what you can actually do to fix it. If you’ve ever felt like your partner just doesn’t “get” you, this will clarify what’s happening under the surface.

In this video, I go into how communication gets filtered through personal meaning, why abstract ideas and feelings often get distorted, and how cognitive functions create friction in relationships. I also show how INFPs can adjust their approach without betraying themselves.

You’ll learn:

• Why “understanding” is often an illusion
• How INFP and ISTJ functions clash in communication
• What role assumptions and mind-reading play
• How to use feedback and clarity to reduce conflict
• A simple shift using your tertiary function
• The exact question that cuts through confusion

If you want better communication, less frustration, and more alignment in your relationship, this gives you a practical way forward.

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Drop a comment with your experience. INFP, ISTJ, or something else.

0:00 Most communication is miscommunication

0:32 Why your words get interpreted differently

1:28 Abstract ideas always get distorted

2:15 Stop assuming they understand you

3:05 Mind reading is breaking your relationship

4:05 Take responsibility for being understood

5:05 INFP cognitive functions (Soul, Explorer)

6:35 ISTJ cognitive functions (Guardian, Commander)

8:10 Why INFP vs ISTJ naturally clash

9:45 Why your advice feels wrong to them

11:20 Why their advice feels wrong to you

12:45 The “function mismatch” problem

13:40 Fix #1: Use your Guardian (Si)

14:40 Fix #2: Get specific and clarify

15:40 The question that fixes misunderstanding