I'm going to post a follow-up to this soon because this ended up being quite the journey! But here I am all chipper and young, only 2 days after this 'easy' little surgery. Don't get me wrong, compared to other lower surgeries, this probably is the easiest of them all and probably by a long shot, but at the same time, it wasn't quite the cakewalk I expected.   

**Note: I say in here that the graft was a split-thickness and I WAS told that, but I was subsequently told it was full-thickness and I believe it actually is full-thickness.

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If you would like to begin the process of mastering your emotions so you don't feel so stuck in loops or reactions that don't serve you, listen to this! I've recently discovered a foundational framework to helping you shift your emotions from feeling shitty to feeling better and more relieved. This is a simple process that doesn't require anything more than your willingness to try it out. 

I also highly recommend listening to this podcast on the topic as well: 

http://thelifecoachschool.com/podcast/428/

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In this episode, Lucah talks about how much he doesn't want phallo and I talk about why I'm getting phalloplasty! It's pretty casual as neither of us is trying to convince the other and I didn't go as deep as I could have into my reasons. Perhaps I will in another episode. We also move in and out of marketing shop talk, as we are sometimes prone to do -- don't hate us for that, we're just having a good time 😬

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#clubftm #modclub #phalloplasty #ftm #transguys #nonbinary #bottomsurgery

Despite posting this video 8 months late, I'M PROUD I'M GETTING IT OUT NOW -- BETTER LATE THAN NEVER, haha. Catching up on a few vids that I never got around to posting. Lucah and I had a great convo about how to celebrate your wins, how to be proud of yourself, how important taking just a few minutes out of your busy schedule to acknowledge yourself and your progress is, and overall, how to manage your mind.  

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I was very stealth before launching Mod Club... doing all of this was one thing, but I really never thought I'd be giving hospital  BM techniques on YouTube... 😬  Questioning my life choices right now, haha...   Overall, just tossing out my surgery healing dramas and points of interest for anyone it can help!   

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I LOVE YOU ALL ENOUGH TO POST A VID OF ME LOOKING ROUGH AS HELL just so you can get the authentic 3-day post-op review! I'm a little vain... I like to look good... this is not easssssy for me to do, but here yas go -- xoxo.  Also, I know the audio on this isn't great, so apologies for that -- just using my Mac Book Air.   

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If you're having trouble deciding whether or not phalloplasty is for you, watch this video, it might help give critical context to your thoughts and doubts.  Throwing it out there that it's okay to feel a lot of anxiety and stress leading up to your bottom surgery. It's okay if that stress blocks you from feeling the excitement that made you book it in the first place. Many post-op guys have confirmed these experiences leading up to phallo and that despite hard recoveries, the excitement and connection they have with their cocks return. 

Comment below and tell me how your pre-op anxiety is going or how it did go if you're post-op!   The life coach who helped me with this critical question is named Kara Barr. She specializes in LGBTQ life coaching, especially for those who have evangelical parents and want to work on those relationships. You can find her here: https://www.karabarrcoaching.com/ 

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Read below for the exact, sticky question sent in:

"I have come across a lot of queer women and nonbinary people whose sexual orientation is "everyone but cis men" who really want to date/fuck trans guys. On principle, I think there's nothing wrong with excluding cis men from your dating pool...... but I'm starting to see this "no cis men" thing as a potential red flag. (Some of these people also identify as lesbians, but are attracted to trans men anyway, which is... questionable.)

It seems like these people want everyone to know that they're dating a trans guy, to the point of disclosing that you're trans whenever they talk about you. Maybe it's to validate their queer identity by making it clear to others that they're not with a cis man?

I dated a woman who told her whole family that I was trans in the same conversation that she told them she had a boyfriend (she had previously been out to her family as a lesbian). We hadn't properly sussed out boundaries of how and when I was comfortable with her outing me, but the aftermath of that situation left me uncomfortable. So now I'm explicit from the first date with anyone that I'd like them to ask me before telling other people that I'm trans.

I prefer being with bi women than straight women, and I do say on my dating profiles that I'm a trans, so maybe I'm in the wrong for feeling so touchy about this. I also go on apps where there are more queer women (Feeld, Lex, Tinder with my settings as w4w), so I guess I sort of walk into these situations willingly..."

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If you're having trouble deciding whether or not phalloplasty is for you, listen to this podcast, it might help give critical context to your thoughts and doubts.  Throwing it out there that it's okay to feel a lot of anxiety and stress leading up to your bottom surgery. It's okay if that stress blocks you from feeling the excitement that made you book it in the first place. Many post-op guys have confirmed these experiences leading up to phallo and that despite hard recoveries, the excitement and connection they have with their cocks returns, post-op.

The life coach who helped me in this critical question is named Kara Barr. She specializes in LGBTQ life coaching, especially for those who have evangelical parents and want to work on those relationships. You can find her here: https://www.karabarrcoaching.com/

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Who's more stoned at the start of this video, me or Lucah? 😂  Seriously tho... we all have limiting beliefs just as humans and then we have more based on layers of our identities that have built up over time. For us, many of these might be trans-specific. In this episode Lucah and I run down several common limiting beliefs to do with being trans and weigh in.

We have to notice our thoughts and constantly question and challenge those thoughts. Our thoughts are not true just because they are our thoughts! We get to choose what we think! And, our thoughts create our feelings and our feelings create our actions and our actions create our results! So if you don't like the results you have in areas of your life, start with checking your thoughts and your limiting beliefs and change those thoughts!

Record your question or comment here:

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