In this week’s episode, we focus on South Asian culture where women are often gender stereotyped and their family’s expectations in regard to marriages. They are told they can’t do many things unless there is a male figure with them; they can’t pursue certain careers, and they are told to sacrifice their dreams and ambitions to please family needs. Another issue in Bengali culture is that child marriage is still an acceptable practice with over 52% of girls who are married before the age of 18. We go into detail about why some countries still practice child marriages, dating, arranged marriages, and life after marriage. Join us as we talk about ways to start finding that inner strength to take back control of your life. 

This week’s guest is Urmi Hossain. Urmi Hossain is Bengali by blood and Italian by birth. She is a self-published author, speaker, blogger, and mentor.

Instagram: @urmamio

Book: Discovering Your Identity: A Rebirth From Interracial Struggle

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This week, I asked fellow coach Jenna to have a conversation about how we respond to our emotions. For people with ethnic backgrounds, showing emotions such as crying - being sad can be a sign of weakness. As children, we have to figure out our own way to cope especially if our family is not receptive to these powerful emotions. The previous generation can be quick to dismiss or make you feel silly, guilty, or ashamed of what is happening inside. This is due to the lack of understanding that they have of their own relationship with emotions. Other times when people don’t look within to understand their emotions, unhealthy patterns of coping can lead to substance abuse, drug/alcohol addictions, and stress-related illness like depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts/attempts. Emotions are our friends. It’s like our internal compass, helping us to figure out how a situation makes us feel. This then helps us make decisions about whether we want to be in that situation and allows us to figure out what we do and don’t want in life.

Jenna Thanopoulos is a certified life coach who specializes in helping corporate women release stress, guilt, and shame, so they can live authentically to their version of success - while feeling feminine & radiant within their relationships & careers.

Podcast: Align Your Day

Instagram: @jenna.thanopoulos

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In this week’s episode, I talk about the importance of understanding polarities. It is a principle that everything has two poles. This is also called masculine and feminine dynamics. It's important to note that neither type of energy is inherently better nor worse than the other. In fact, it's essential to have a balance of both energies in order to live a fulfilling and healthy life.

Why should you listen? This will help you in your current relationships if you experience a lot of conflicts. If you are single, this will help you figure out what qualities to look for in a partner. If you're looking for opportunities for personal development, this is an area to explore in.

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In this episode, we will talk about what I learned from dating someone with ADHD. I have been doing my own research asking friends, learning, and reading about it to understand how their minds work so that I can be more compassionate and patient with my partner. ADHD makes relationships and marriages more difficult but being aware of the ways of how it can hurt a relationship will help you work around its challenges. When both partners embrace ADHD, the chances of a strong relationship improve.

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Today, we are talking about cross-cultural relationships or interracial relationships. Cross-cultural is typically associated with two people coming together from different backgrounds, families, and environments. 

Particular challenges faced by people in cross-cultural relationships include:

I will be going over my top 4 challenges in this episode. I will be sharing my personal stories and providing you with reflecting questions and the next steps moving forward. 

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Vera is a licensed therapist in Toronto, Canada, and the founder of Talk Therapy with Vera. She talks about her upbringing & childhood being born in Hong Kong and transitioning her life to Canada. Vera struggled as a student who frequently got in trouble with her teachers and parents for being reactive and that was a result of her learning from her parents that dismissing, ignoring, and suppressing emotions was the correct way to manage them. In this episode, we dive into what intergenerational trauma means for you. The first step is to be aware of what is not currently working in your life right now. Some of the values and concepts that our immigrant parents taught us to keep repeating the unnecessary habits and patterns that will continue to disrupt the development and growth of your lineage. Your work is to determine what values, patterns, and behaviors you want to avoid and put better practices in place so that your children can thrive. We will also cover what is an inner critic, where it comes from, and what you can do about it.

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Sign up for emails at https://subscribepage.io/moderndayasians and receive a free gift - Journaling Prompts for Clarity Within

Do you hear jokes on TV from your favorite Asian comedians talking about their Asian parents and everyone just laughs because they can relate to them? Now don’t get me wrong, I love the humor in times of stress and entertainment. But what happens inside after the joke is over? Let's not normalize and accept that abusive parenting is part of Asian culture. In this episode, I walk you through examples of how I came to this realization, how the abuse impacted other areas of my life, and what I am doing moving forward.

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One of the reasons for intergenerational trauma is that many Asian cultures have experienced historical trauma, such as colonization, war, and famine. In order to overcome these challenges and ensure survival, it became necessary for people to work hard and be resourceful. Today, this drive for hard work is often seen as a source of pride in many Asian cultures and is viewed as a means of achieving success and stability. It is also seen as a way of honoring the sacrifices and struggles of past generations, who endured hardships in order to provide future generations with a better life. In this episode, I will dive deeper into my relationship with being a "hard worker" as part of my identity and ways that I have found a balance between achieving goals on my controlled timeline vs. trusting in the universe. I will also cover ways to incorporate more flow and rest into your busy work life. 

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In this episode, we are going to talk about how I reconnected with my mom after 10 years of distancing myself from her. If you are listening and your hope is to have a closer relationship with your family, then keep listening because I will share how I was able to make those shifts/changes in my life and how you can start applying these to your life. Although, it is going to take time to see changes just remember that your attempts will help you move forward in your own healing. You must build yourself a foundation. In particular, understand your emotions/feelings and learn how to regulate them first before attempting to reconnect with your parents. It might seem vulnerable and uncomfortable in the beginning because we are all just trying to protect ourselves from more emotional damage but trust that your efforts will lead to better outcomes than the one you are currently facing. 

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In this episode,  I talk about my top 5 lessons from experiencing Asian parenting. Asian parenting is highly protective, authoritative, and controlling parenting with an emphasis on education to improve one's socioeconomic status. I cover what I have learned from this style of parenting, how I made my peace with it and provided listeners with a list of reflective questions if you have also experienced this type of parenting. In honor of Chinese New Year, I also share what this holiday means to me and how I celebrate it. 

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Sign up for emails at https://subscribepage.io/moderndayasians and receive a free gift - Journaling Prompts for Clarity Within