Modern Day Asians

This week is a very special episode. I had a chance to sit down and talk to my sister during my trip back to see my parents during the holidays. I invited my sister to share with us what her experience was like growing up in our household. I am very grateful that she is vulnerable to talk about these tough situations because we were not programmed this way. Emotions and intimacy were avoided. I developed an enduring pattern and when I had a chance, I would be aggressive with my brother and sister. This episode has insights into how family systems functions within an Asian household and how we strengthened our bond as sisters. Ashley receives coaching support on how to come to closure without leaning on other people's responses. 

I hope that inspires everyone that as much guilt and shame as I have on how I treated my sister, do not let the past bind you. If I had decided to not face that guilt, I would have kept avoiding this torn in my life and my sibling relationship would have never changed. However, our progress did not take overnight. It took multiple years and attempts to gain my sister’s trust.  I hope this inspires you that if you are ashamed of your behavior in the past, do not let that define your future. Give yourself permission to continue to grow and evolve. If your wish is to reconnect with your lost sibling, just remember that it is going to take courage, time, deep inner work, and healing to get yourself and others to open up again.

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In this episode, we talk about how Care checked all the boxes, got her bachelor’s degree, and started her career as a tech consultant but still felt like she was at the lowest point of her life. She was battling depression and anxiety. She was introduced to mindfulness when she started yoga as an alternative form of exercise and that began her self-development journey. Today, she is a trauma-informed somatics coach and to be a stand for all beings that we are each so loved, cherished, and accepted by the Divine.

A major part of Care’s upbringing is that she was heavily involved with competitive dance teams. We talk about how the dancing community affected her nervous system, her views on competition within the household, her relationship with her (sister) siblings, body shame, and setting healthy boundaries with family members. Care is seeking coaching advice on how to spend her time in the late afternoon and evenings without disassociating and being more in the present. Her habits have been eating and watching TV and she doesn’t feel that she is a part of the time and not within her reach. Join me as I support her in bringing her back to the present and ways to spend her time with intention and purpose.

If you are interested in the book club " Permission to Come Home", DM @carefullsoul for more information.

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Sara currently lives in Wilmington, NC, and is pursuing a business degree in International Business. Sarah is a third-generation American and her ethnicity is French Canadian, German, British, and Japanese. From her study abroad trip to Japan, her inspiration is to work for a Japanese cosmetic company once she finishes her degree. 

In this episode, we talk about Sara’s favorite holidays and traditional Japanese food. We talk about food being a love language for many ethnic cultures, which holidays our previous generation's parents adapted to. Sara is seeking support with her struggle with her identity as a Japanese American. Sara experiences imposter syndrome. When she expresses her love for the Japanese culture, people doubt her claim because she does not look Japanese. When people doubt her claims, she feels less confident in presenting herself to the world. With imposter syndrome, it is important to start reflecting on your internal values first - the core of one’s self first before going into external characteristics such as physical appearance. We utilize a visualization exercise to draw reference in her past life where she fully shows up for herself so that she can use it to channel confident energy when she needs it.

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Daryl is an acupuncturist and works at a private practice in Toronto, CA. In this episode, we discussed what it was like to be a health practitioner during COVID, how she handles offensive conversations, the Atlanta Spa Shooting in 2021, and how we reacted when hearing about Asian hate crimes during uncertain times of COVID. Daryl recently was diagnosed with ADD and feels that a lot of the missing puzzles are coming together from her experiencing a lack of focus and attention during her schooling. Daryl wants to receive coaching support with her inner critic and understand why it keeps coming back. That inner voice is very judgmental and critical when it comes to starting new projects or trying anything new. Based on Asian stereotypes of being good at math, she struggled with that subject the most. That was the beginning phase of her frustrations with herself and her anxiety to perform. Listen to me coach her on how to set her day up with micro-obtainable goals and how to navigate conversations with her inner critic when it shows up again.

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This week, I invited my friend Ivan who is an Asian Australian. Ivan currently lives in Sydney. His ethnic background is Chinese. His family escaped communism, fled to Vietnam, and eventually settled in Australia. During the process, his family changed their last names to hide from Chinese communist leaders. In this episode, we talk about his family's expectations with their retirement, his relationship with his father, and how his family was impacted by gambling. Ivan is looking for support in not feeling responsible for people’s feelings.

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This week, I invited my peer Nathan Kwan from the same coaching institution that we enrolled in this year. In this episode, we talk about his upbringing, life in Canada, and where he is with his healing self-discovery journey. We will cover how he navigates his masculine identity as an Asian male, overcoming his darkest place with depression, and also reflecting on and honoring his grandfather by showing unconditional love to those around him. 

Featuring:

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During this episode, I will uncover the purpose of this podcast, my personal story, why I am here today, and what to expect. I grew up in areas where no one ever looked like me. I desperately was hoping that one day I would be able to live near people who looked like me. From a very young age, I knew that I was different and that fitting in meant that I would need to lose my identity as an Asian and lose the Asian things that I liked and felt familiar to fit in. I felt that I was in between two worlds and was never enough for people who wanted to box me as a "Foreign Asian" or the " White Asian". This is for listeners who want to find their own unique and authentic way of living without being influenced by what other people have told them. 

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