Fans of ABC’s Modern Family, which just entered its ninth season, know Eric Stonestreet as Cameron Tucker, the role for which he’s won two Emmys. The neurotic but good-natured Cam was half of one of TV’s first major married gay couples, and over the course of the show’s run, Cam and his husband, Mitch, have settled into the sort of farcical bliss we might wish on all sitcom couples.

But the road to Modern Family wasn’t always guaranteed for Stonestreet. He estimates in this interview that he was in more than 100 commercials, many of which required him to build whole characters off just one line or a gesture. He bounced among guest spots on numerous TV shows of the ’90s and 2000s — from Dharma & Greg to ER and The West Wing — and didn’t always seem like he’d find his niche. Indeed, he only heard about Modern Family because a friend of his was auditioning and asked Stonestreet to help him prepare.

Now, however, he can look back on that struggle with both clear eyes and the sort of analysis that offers good advice to everyone pursuing a dream. Stonestreet talked with me about how Modern Family has (and hasn’t) changed over nine seasons, what it’s like hosting his new reality show The Toy Box, and how he tried to find roles that let him keep his self-worth as a heavyset actor.