Mom Writes Podcast

Mel's chapter 17 benefits from the magic of alone time this week, and that - plus not being exhausted! - made for a well-rounded chapter with an active narrative voice. But Mel was able to fight against her old nemesis, "show where your characters are at emotionally," and we're counting that as a big win for today.

Mel's been working on this book for a really long time. She says it's hard to immerse yourself when you have a lot of years-old pre-conceived notions of what your book "should" be like, and it's easy to doubt yourself along the way. It's important to remember that anything, anything at all can be changed. Your finished product might look nothing like the idea you started out with, and that's okay! It doesn't have to.

Mel has a process question for Kemlo - should her characters duck at the sound of a gunshot? What's the realistic thing to do here? Kemlo's gun-loving neighbors have desensitized her a little bit, so her reaction might not be the average reader's reaction. Kemlo suggests Mel show her protagonist imagining what the threat could be, and speculation from the other characters to paint a clearer picture and give the scene more context. Remember - in a first-person story, you're seeing everything through the eyes of your protagonist.

How does Mel reconcile the fact that this thread of her protagonist's new job, which was a main driving force in the beginning, has kind of... faded away? Should she cut the whole thing or try to beef it up? Kemlo advises her to review the manuscript, only taking the view of enhancing that aspect, and find the place in the story where Mel's protagonist finally comes to terms with how the whole thing is falling apart. Her profession can still be and should be, a part of who she is and how she thinks, and she has both personal and professional concerns that need space to play out. Kemlo also suggests Mel show this through her secondary characters - those secondary characters know the professional side of her and what she was hired to do. What are their expectations, and how do their opinion of her and her role change as events play forth? Mel needs to show her protagonist's role changing through the eyes of those secondary characters.

"The thing that made me happiest about this chapter - other than the fact that you made it so much better - is that you like it so much better." - Kemlo Aki

This week's discussion revolves around the pacing in Abby's middle-grades novel - and all about what she did right.

(Plus, it's six months in the past, so enjoy this trip to October 2019, a simpler time.)

How difficult is it to show the emotional layer in middle-grade lit without slowing down the pacing?

VERY, as it turns out - but this week, Abby gets the gold star from Kemlo. Word choice plays a big part here. Words like "chattering" and phrases like "a normal person" convey an opinion about what the protagonist thinks about someone without coming right now and saying it. It's a way of showing backstory, a mini-flashback.

"It's a way of sharing the knowledge your protagonist has...because all we want is to know what she knows so that we can feel like we're inside her head." - Kemlo Aki

Showing how your character relates to their world is an essential skill, one that takes time to get right. Listen to Kemlo read where Abby gets it right to hear how little details mean so much, and convey so much information in just a few lines.

Be careful, however, in the overuse of this device - this time, Abby gets warned about using too many questions. Asking a specific or open-ended question can pique a reader's interest and get them wondering about what's next. But peppering them with too many questions can be overwhelming and confusing.

"Any good writing craft or technique is one that is used sparingly." - Kemlo Aki

Watch your use of filter words, too - there's a lot you can cut without losing meaning. Words like "felt," excessive adverbs, etc., are often unnecessary and should be on the chopping block unless you really need them.

The same goes for dialogue tags - there are a time and a place and appropriate use, but try to distinguish the speaker that doesn't end in "he/she/they said," either via description or action. Of course, it's not a hard and fast rule, and it's worth your time to review these in your editing process and see if you can mix it up.

Welp, it’s official, folks. It’s finally here. This is the point in the quarantine where I, Abby Mathews, has officially— yet good-natured-ly— lost her mind. (See, I’m even making up words.)

I don’t even know what day it is anymore. Is it a podcast release day? Beats the heck out of me. So we’re just gonna go with today for an encore episode of Mom Writes.

Why an encore episode? Because I just can’t do one. more. thing. I know you parents feel me. And I’m sending you my love.

And if you are listening and you aren’t a parent, let me paint you a picture.

We started this whole quarantine with beautifully bleached houses. Seriously. You could have eaten off the floors. But for the last month, no one has left the house. Or picked up after themselves. We have weird makeshift school science projects and artworks lying around the house (all made out of tras— recycled materials, excuse me). GOD FORBID WE THROW THEM AWAY. Usually I would wait for the kids to go to school, and then I would throw them away, shoving them deep into the kitchen trash and covering them with a random paper towel or something.

But the children are home.

And they are watching my every move.

They are also consuming all. the. snacks. all. the. time. And eating lunch at their desks like tiny office workers. And my 10-year old STARTED DRINKING COFFEE. She leaves her half-consumed cups of coffee everywhere. And I’m wondering if I can program Alexa to do an hourly reminder to PICK YOUR FREAKING DISHES UP.

One of my wonderful and brilliant and dearest friends FaceTimed me the other day to ask this question: what is the best way to connect two strands of paper dolls. Behind him, my 5-year old goddaughter danced with the exuberance only a 5-year old can possess. She waved several strands of paper dolls, singing in a thunderous voice about decorating the living room. I saw the look in his eyes. This call wasn’t about the pros and cons of tape vs. staples in paper doll making. He needed someone to tell him it was going to be okay.

I want all of you to listen to me.

It’s going to be okay.

One day we will laugh about walking into our bedroom at 9 pm, and seeing our children sitting at a card table they’d turned into a slime-making station. (I know this isn’t just happening at my house.) That day is not today. But one day. I promise.

We’ll laugh as long as we all stay healthy and stay home. The rest we will survive. Because that’s the point. Survival.

Now I’m off to dive back into my mask-making project. I’ve made well over a hundred at this point. I’ve lost count. But what started out as my daughter’s mask-making business has turned into “mom’s project” because, as Bell said, “I made my business TOO GOOD, Mom. Everyone wants one, and it’s stressing me out. You do it.” I’ve run out of fabric, but I’ve caught up on paid orders. So now I’ve got a bunch of men’s dress shirts that the community has donated to me (because thankfully everyone is cleaning their closets!). I’m working on upcycled masks to give to those who need them. A lady in the neighborhood is looking for some to send to soldiers, so that’s today’s goal.

I’ll leave you with what is still my favorite episode (and one that is still fitting)— the Mom Guilt episode. Because we all need to hear this on repeat. (Maybe I can program Alexa to play it on loop…)

This week, Kemlo gives Abby some advice on a little thing that becomes a big thing... "Am I a weirdo? Because I do that little thing?" -Abby

Abby wrote a scene where Logan's parents show up for the first time, and actually modeled Logan's mother after a mom she knew in middle school. She doesn't remember the mom's husband's name because they always called him...Daddy. Team Mom Writes debates whether this is a weird thing, not a weird thing, or not even a thing at all. Abby was trying to paint this family as a sweet, loving family that her protagonist views as more normal than her own situation.

Kemlo says she wants to see a change in Bernadette in this chapter, but it seems like she's giving up on her friendship with the character of Logan. Is she writing him off because she thinks he's betrayed her, or does she think it's not worth it because she's competing with Claire - regardless, how does it show up in the scene later on? Abby needs to shore up her protagonist's motivations in this scene, let the reader know exactly where she's coming from, and drive these points home to give us a sense of what she's expecting or planning to do.

Abby forges on to the next chapter, feeling that the things she needs to change only involve adding a line here, a line there. She wants to get to the end of this second first draft! There are still things in there that need to be fixed, but they can be fixed on the next go-around. Kemlo says there are no big red flags concerning her, and it's fine to save these for next time. Abby wants to keep moving forward - that's her motivation.

Kemlo kept asking for more, more internal thoughts for this chapter - surprising Abby, who thought there was already so much going on. But Abby's learning that if you put in too much, you can always take it out.

"It's going to feel like too much to you as the writer because your brain fills in the blanks...it doesn't mean you have to repeat yourself, it means you have to say something new. Expound on it, develop it in some way. We want a little bit more specific than that. That's how you get the sense of movement, of change. We want to see change at not only the plot level but internally as well." - Kemlo Aki

When you write for kids, you have to write it "snappy" - you have to keep their attention. But it doesn't mean it needs to be quick - you need to be concise. Capture emotion and plot. Easy, right? HA. None of it's easy, but because (say it with us friends) writing is iterative, you'll likely get a few chances to get it right during the editing process.

In this episode:

Abby's recently returned from the Author Accelerator Maine retreat, which was a powerhouse of writing breakthroughs. There was laughter! There were tears! There was motivation! Coaches got to work one-on-one with writers and got down to the why of each writer's novels, and how to get that down on the page. 

This week, Mel's convinced as her edits are moving forward, her book is actually getting worse. She'll open up the later chapters of her book and be horrified at the number of changes that need to be made - she can't stop finding things to dislike. It's not even remotely where she wants it to be, which is somewhat to be expected, but it's terrifying. Kemlo says not to worry; it doesn't mean the book is getting worse - Mel is just getting better at editing. 

"When you first start revisions, especially if you've never done it before, you don't know what you don't know...after you've done seventeen chapters, you see layer upon layer of problems, and that can seem discouraging." - Melanie

Kemlo reminds us that at the end of Mel's book, she's pulling together a lot of threads that have been going this whole time - everything is going to come to a head in the next few chapters, and it's hard. It's hard for veteran writers, too. It's hard to keep all the plates spinning, and it gets exponentially more complicated the further you get along in your novel. 

"It still boils down to one central idea: getting down what your protagonist is thinking and feeling on the page. As you keep going along, keep asking yourself why. Why? What's the nuanced, specific thought or thing that's making her feel that feeling? Let's get into her head and feel what she's experiencing in that moment." - Kemlo Aki

Do writers all struggle with the same things? Does everyone have "a thing" they continually struggle with?  Kemlo says: "It feels like you're going over the same thing, over and over again, but think of it as a spiral. It seems like you're going it over and over again, but you're actually in a different place. You're closer to where you want to be."  You'll eventually get there, and as you progress, you might be traversing the same land, but you know the land better this time around. 

Mel thanks Kemlo for making specific suggestions on strengthening scenes. It's important that you know where the scene is going, but during editing, try to make it more than it already is. Whatever it means, make it mean more of it. Not only is Mel trying to show what's changed in her characters, but she also has to show what hasn't changed - what lessons her characters still have to learn, and may not learn, before the book is over. We want to see them making sense with the cards they've been dealt - or not! One way to demonstrate this is to show a character remembering something that had happened, but remembering it a different way, looking at it through whatever new perspective they've now acquired.

OK, so it didn’t happen at night. But it was curious.

In this episode:

This week, Abby takes her edits into overdrive. Listen to the first five-ten minutes for her process in taking Jennie's edits from the first draft and incorporating them into her revision. Mel's working on her edits from her last chapter, and Kemlo said she needs to work on tension in her scene based on what she has in her two-tier / Inside Outline. They're small fixes - there's a lot going on in the scene, but the decisions on her protagonist's shoulders do not feel hard. The reader needs to see some push and pull, instead of "upsetting things" that her characters get pulled through.

"There should be some sort of internal conflict, there should be a struggle - let's make it more difficult for this character to decide what to do." - Mel Parish

Not only that, but Kemlo says we need to know WHY it's hard, and the prose needs to reflect the tension and plot lines need to reflect the two-tier / Inside Outline. Kemlo's recommending that she work on an outline for the chapter to tighten up the scenes. The Inside Outline is especially useful for chapters with many scenes, locations, and purposes, and Mel used it to delineate by location. In that scene, she made a point for each character and where their story is going. She says it helped highlight was missing in the scenes and clarify motivations. 

"Show us what she's hoping for, and what she's fearing - that is what we need to move the story forward." - Kemlo Aki

Mel checked out a bunch of thrillers from the library for reference, and Kemlo advised her to pay particular attention to the things she wants to work on in her own novel - what the characters are thinking, feeling, anticipating, and fearing/avoiding. Sometimes it can be helpful to see how another writer balances the internal/external aspect in character and plot development - either in a finished book or a work in progress from a friend. 

This week's book rec: Deep Work, by Cal Newport.

CONTENT WARNING: Wear your earbuds if the kiddos are around!!

This week we welcome Dawn Ius to the podcast! Dawn is an Author Accelerator book coach, the author of three YA novels (Anne and Henry, Overdrive, and Lizzie -http://dawnius.com/books/), and the managing editor of the online magazine published by The International Thriller Writers organization, The Big Thrill. 

We ask Dawn: What are the conventions in thrillers, and specifically, around sex scenes? Does a sex scene make a lot of sense in a thriller? Ask yourself these questions if you're wondering if you should keep that sex scene in your thriller or suspense novel:

Is there justification for the scene? Is it necessary? Dawn points to the work of Lee Child, who only put things in his books if they're absolutely necessary to move the plot forward, so ask yourself the following questions: Is it necessary to the scene? Does it reveal something about character, or ratchet up the tension? Is it serving the story in some way? Male/female dynamics are common and understandable in detective novels and mysteries and it's often a popular way to write a subplot in that genre. 

"The same rules apply for sex as for violence - in 90% of the cases, less is more. It doesn't need to be gratuitous." - Dawn Ius 

Books to check out as good examples of romantic suspense: Nora Roberts and Sandra Brown. In a lot of these authors' books, it's more about the build-up than the act itself. In a similar way one lays out a thriller or suspense novel, these novels are laid out in the same way: a series of scenes, increasing in tension, with the pay-off scene at the end.  If you ratchet up the tension, reward the readers by the end of the story. This is true for both suspense/thrillers as well as romantic suspense. 

In regards to the less is more concept, Dawn recommends: "If the imagination can do the work, it's almost better - most times - to let it do that."  

In thrillers, there's a bigger emphasis on active voice. You don't want passive sentences, and you want tense, tight, crisp dialogue. Everything you do in normal storytelling must serve the suspense portion of it. In a thriller, the question you're always coming back to is, "What does your character fear?" Open with an action scene - we need to get right into the story and find out what exactly is happening with the protagonist. 

We talk about Dan Brown's novels and how they reinvigorated the genre in terms of exciting readers. 

"The other component of thrillers that people don't often think about, and this is in regards to Dan Brown's novels  - a really good thriller always teaches the reader something...thriller readers are almost always excited about learning something new." - Dawn Ius

In this episode

Abby wants to know - what do you do when you're done with revising your manuscript? It's rarely in pitchable shape after your first round of revisions. Kemlo says that every revision seems to get a little faster, as we get better and better at revising. For Abby, in particular, parts of this draft feel like the first draft because there's a lot of new material. Does it now need a fresh pair of eyes?

During Author Accelerator's open call, Coffee Talk, many writers have asked if they need to switch coaches after the first draft. Abby let them know that we changed to Kemlo for the revision. It helped her see the holes that Jennie and Abby couldn't see because they'd been over the first draft so many other times. Kemlo could see the holes in Abby's story because she read it for the first time, and the "curse of knowledge" rule definitely applies here. Different coaches, editors, even critique partners have different strengths, and all have something to add in reviewing your draft. 

Abby's got concerns about getting the awkwardness of a love interest (and also the embarrassment of preteens) down on the page. Kemlo suggests she look towards Mel's kissing scene (that Mel is actually trying to age up, and reduce awkwardness!) for some good examples. 

In their online book club, Abby's friend and Author Accelerator book coach Jocelyn Lindsay was watching the superhero show "The Boys" and suggested the group watch it for tips on cause and effect. Abby ended up watching the first episode with her friend Paul and her dad-- and inadvertently had to sit through a graphic sex scene between the two of them. Now THAT is awkward! 

Kemlo suggested Chuck Wendig's post on what makes YA, YA - He says YA isn't just for teenagers. It involves a lot of content many people wouldn't assume is for teenagers. It's a good read on genre and content in general. 

In regards to writing sex scenes or awkward scenes in general, take romance writer Michelle Hazen's advice: write your scene knowing no one else will read it, and throw it away. And then write it again. And again. And again. Over and over, until you become comfortable with it, and until it's something you actually enjoy reading. And as Abby told Mel about her potential sex scene: you don't have to play by the rules if you don't want to - if it fits in your story, it can work!

In this episode:

This week, Mel turned in her chapter, and Kemlo had two major suggestions: work on the overall flow and do some genre work (aka "credibility issues"). The chapter was pulling her (as a reader) in many different directions. 

Mel needs to do some work on what happens to her character in this scene, and what it means to her moving forward. Kemlo's still pressing Mel as to why these things happen to her character - what sort of purpose does this plot point serve? Mel's protagonist needs to have her mortality shoved in her face while coming to terms with the fact that her brother doesn't have that problem anymore.

Kemlo rightly points out that having her character shot by a bullet rather than injured by a glass shard points more towards the new adult genre, rather than the young adult genre Kemlo suspected this chapter had been leaning towards. Later in the chapter, the burgeoning relationship between Mel's two main characters doesn't go far enough. If she were writing YA that'd be fine, but she's not. Mel needs to figure out why those characters would consider each other based on their backstories and what it would have meant for them to have each other in their lives sooner. What's propelling Mel's protagonist forward now that her brother is seemingly out of danger?

Kemlo suggested Mel redo the chapter and include inside-outlines for the three main characters in this chapter to tighten up the flow and cement their directions for this chapter and the next. Mel agrees this is a good way to move forward.  

"Whenever you don't go far enough, it's because you're afraid of something - you're afraid of going too big, doing too much, taking it too far." - Melanie

Abby agonized over her pages this week - she had to kill a darling! She re-wrote chapters 18 and 19, and originally had brought in the BFG as another book character to incorporate in her story. She put a lot of time and effort into it and was really happy with it. But in the course of re-writing the chapters, the plot changed, and Abby realized she didn't need the BFG anymore. For a while she tried to work him back into the story, but soon realized he didn't really serve a purpose. 

Ultimately, before making the decision to cut the BFG, Abby asked herself: "Why is this guy there?" She couldn't find an acceptable answer. His presence didn't necessary move the story forward, but she's keeping him in the back of her mind in case he can come back later.

She replaced the BFG with something that works better - Scooby Doo and Shaggy! She even went to a local comic book store in search of Scooby Doo comics and bought a bunch of Scooby Doo cartoons (research, guys!). She was asking herself the following questions - how do these characters talk, move, react? How do they relate to each other? The point  in Abby's decision to incorporate Shaggy and Scooby is that they're good friends, and it gives Abby's protagonist a visual of what she wants, what she's searching for throughout the story: a good friend. 

Abby's still working on getting more magic in her story, to building up the book world that her protagonist sort-of lives in. What the characters understand about their world, how they relate to their reality, etc. - this is the kind of second tier world-building that goes beyond the "rules" of the magic and draws the reader further into the work. 

Kemlo cites something Jennie Nash said a while ago, in that "There's an element to world-building to any work of fiction - whatever it is, you have a lot of the same considerations, especially that struggle in weaving in those features and aspects of the world without it being an infodump." 

We go into great detail on how Abby's incorporating comic book features into her book - these Scooby Doo characters make noise when they move around, bob their heads, etc. How do you write onomatopoeia consistently? Describe it well, once - you can make your own shorthand to reference it later, as long as it's consistent. 

Shoutout to listener Umar, who listens to us on one-and-a-half speed! We're impressed that you can handle the sound of our voices at that rate. ;)