On a dark gloomy day, I went to an old wise monk. This particular monk in his late 80s and he had been a monk since he was 18. His room was warm and inviting, it was his sanctuary for peace. I was a bull coming into his china shop of peace. My restlessness didn't move the peace that took him so many years to maintain. I finally sat down in his recliner and told him I was frustrated with a brother monk. I was furious, I couldn't stop hitting the armrests of the recliner almost to the point of yelling. After I got done filing my grievances there was a long pause. Silence. He looked up at me from his chair and his cane and said to me, "Have you ever put yourself in your brother's shoes? Perhaps he is going through a hard time right now and needs a friend to talk to." I didn't think of it that way. So eventually I went to that monk and had a conversation, and the old wise monk was right, he was struggling to be a monk and wanted to leave. The way he was acting was because he thought he wanted to be a monk but has lost interest. This story reminds me not to judge others on their behavior until you "put yourself in their shoes". https://MonkMindset.com

In my personal experience as a monk, I was big on mantras. Whether it was a prayer that I repeated hundreds of times, or if it was a positive affirmation. Both prayer and positive affirmations were important for me because they helped me clear my mind. In the Orthodox Church, they do this kind of prayer every day, saying the same prayer hundreds of times. This was to accomplish connecting the mind with the heart. They wanted to pray with the same phrase that even when they were sleeping their minds would pray subconsciously. I have found in my experience that putting in this same practice with positive affirmations has helped my self-esteem and confidence. It's been as easy as saying "I love myself", "I'm a confident person", "I get things done". Say any one of those phrases a hundred times and see how you feel.  https://MonkMindset.com

Visiting monks is a very formative experience, you can see how they live on a daily basis. Most monasteries will allow you to stay in their guest houses. Most monasteries will allow you to stay and make a personal retreat no matter what religion or background you are. One thing monasteries are known for is their hospitality. Most people would think that monks are cold and quiet but I have met some of the most social monks traveling the world staying in their guest houses. When you stay with monks or nuns they will give you a prayer schedule and you can attend their services. Staying with monks will give you some quiet time away from the world. Monasteries are usually found in faraway places on the top of mountains or hilltops. This is significant because they want to be closer to God, so the higher up the mountain, the closer to God. You can look at the different monasteries in the link below and see if they have guest houses where you can stay and make a personal retreat. https://MonkMindset.com

Memento mori is a Latin phrase reminding the monk that one day he will eventually die. It's a daily reminder that monks keep close to their hearts. This isn't meant to be morbid but it's a reminder that eventually our time will come when we will pass on from this life.  The monk knows that this day may be their last, so you should live every day like it's your last. I once had a picture in my room in the monastery with a monk holding a skull. It's a scary-looking picture but it's also meant to shock you into thinking about what the picture represents. If today was our last day how would we live it? Would we fix our broken relationships, forget the guilt and shame that we carry and let it go, or visit someone we haven't seen in a long time? The choice is yours, if today was your last day, what would you do with it? https://MonkMindset.com

Monks in the monastery have a lot of spiritual mothers. Women hang around the church, join in prayer and keep the monks in their daily prayers. There are lots of women who have been guides in my own personal life aside from my real mother. I call these women my spiritual mothers. There is nothing that can take the bond away from my own mother and her maternal instincts. A lot of men and women don't have that same luxury. Some don't have good mothers in their life but have more spiritual mothers that help guide them through life. The word I'm thinking of is nurturing, and I'm not just talking about a motherly figure there for a shoulder to cry on. I'm talking about a motherly figure there to help guide you through the lessons of life. We all have those important women in our life, and if we don't we should find one. Monks just don't need guidance from old wise monks, but also from spiritual mothers. https://MonkMindset.com

We have seasons of life: new chapters, relationships, places, and careers. It's inevitable that life will change and nothing is promised. Through the last year during a pandemic, we all realized that there is no sure thing in life. I knew so many people that lost their jobs and didn't know how they would pay their bills. I remember when I made the leap and joined the monastery. The people that were supporting my decision were strangers and not close family and friends. Whenever we want to start a new chapter in our life for the better, it's hard for those closest to us to support us. Once you make the change in your life than people eventually start coming around when they know that you're happy. Some people are afraid of making their own decisions so when they see others making important life decisions they are the first to speak in opposition. Going back to what it means to think like a monk, follow your heart. https://MonkMindset.com

What does it mean to find peace in this life? Is it really attainable like some gurus say it is? I pursue finding peace with a big 'P' and a little 'p'. We are pursuing to have Peace in our life. We can only come close to attaining this big 'P' peace by practicing little moments of the small 'p' peace every day. Some people never find any peace in life and are constantly anxious, I'm guilty of this. I'm always striving to find peace. I try to find the little moments of peace throughout my days. Take a peaceful walk, go work out with no music, read affirmations, meditate, be in silence, or getting rid of unwanted debts. As people not in monasteries, our days are going to have highs and lows of emotions. But if we can have more moments of peace each day we are growing closer to the capital 'P' peace in our lives. Strive for all those little moments and see how your life improves drastically. Some people find their 'flow' or that meditative state from many things: dancing, painting, gardening, or cleaning. Find that meditative state and peace however you can get there. Also, your thoughts don't define you, acknowledge them and let them go. https://MonkMindset.com

I once traveled to Italy, I wanted to go to the spot where St. Benedict left Rome and went into solitude. The city is named Subiaco and he went to the top of the mountain. He lived there for 3 years in a cave to get away from the immorality that was happening in Rome. He traveled a long distance to get there, for me it was a 2-hour bus ride with no air conditioning. My whole trip to get to Subiaco was a nightmare. Once I got off the bus, I didn't speak Italian so it was hard for me to get directions and there were no taxis in sight. I had come all this way, the only way to get to the top of the mountain was for me to hike it. I wasn't prepared at all, I was wearing jeans and regular shoes, but I was determined to get to the top. This is one of the places that inspired me to become a monk because of the long journey across the world to get there. Going to the top of Subiaco and finally getting to the cave where St. Benedict stay was not as well known as a tourist attraction, that's why it was so hard to get to. But I couldn't stop halfway up the mountain because I had come across the world to see it and I couldn't just give up. The point of the story is to never give up on your journey because it will be life-changing. https://MonkMindset.com

When I was a monk my daily life consisted of more prayer than anything. That was our main work as a monk is to pray for the world. But it's also our work to do a lot of other things such as being hospitable, practicing the virtues, and try to live in harmony with each other. We could easily make money starting a production line company making any product. A lot of monasteries have at least one business associated with them in order for the monks to make money. Some monks make chocolates, mustard, and even brew beer. They could easily make millions of dollars selling "monk beer" to retailers but their make goal is to pray and not make millions. They could easily make tons of money but if more time is spent on business rather than prayer then that defeats the purpose of living like a monk. In your daily life, you should have the main goal: journaling, reflecting, meditating. Don't let anything get in the way of you achieving your goal for the day, even if it is making money. https://MonkMindset.com

We all know the person in our life that is loud, obnoxious, and vulgar. That person usually doesn't care what people think about them and for us introverts, we might envy them. I remember as a monk thinking that I had to be this perfect cookie-cutter guy in a  robe. When it comes to being authentic in the "real world" we also see the cookie-cutter idea of the perfect wife, husband, brother, sister, or friend. It's too much work being someone you're not but you can strive to be better every day and strive toward that idea every day. People have expectations of how we need to act in their lives. We don't need to fulfill other people's expectations of what we need to do or how we need to act. We are all made to be different and we should take joy in that because if we were all the cookie-cutter people we idealize then we would have a boring world. https://MonkMindset.com