The rule that we lived by as monks talks about how boisterous laughter is not good. Boisterous meaning uncontrolled and obnoxious. But there is a time and place for laughter during recreation hours. The key phrase is "time and place". There is a time to laugh, a time to cry, and time to be happy, and a time for silence. It's not that the monks don't love laughter, they do. It's that it needs to be in the appropriate context. Some of the monks said I laughed too loud and to counter that some other monks said they loved the upbeat and fun spirit I had. A wise monk once told me to never stop laughing and to never take myself too seriously. Laughter and joy are contagious, today let us spread the laughter. https://MonkMindset.com

Listening is one of the most underrated qualities in our lives. Listening to our hearts is one of the most important things we can do in our journey of life. Should I get this new job? Should I stay in this relationship? Should I go on this trip? We make quick decisions without listening to what our hearts tell us. We should always be slow to speak and quick to be attentive to what is happening around us. It's interesting to meet new people and see how much they talk about themselves. My goal has always been to be the person that speaks the least in the room. I have always been genuinely interested in other people's lives and ask good questions. Not only do we need to listen to our hearts and understand the direction life is taking us, but also not be selfish and listen to other people and their stories. https://MonkMindset.com

When you come to the monastery to see if you're called to be a monk, you are asked to knock on the door three times before entering. Many monasteries and religious orders ask that you make a few "come and see" visits. When you come and visit a monastery you are fully immersed into the life of a monastery. You take meals with the monks, prayer, and work. Once you feel like you are called to that life you inquire with an older wise monk who is in charge of the newer monks that come. The three knocks on the door can be described as being persistent in seeking. Seeking a new life as a man or a woman looking to seek God fully. When we feel like we have a passion or calling in life we need to keep showing up. Show up and keep knocking on that door and eventually, it will open. https://MonkMindset.com

We use tools every day: cell phones, money, cars, toothbrushes, and clothing. They are tools for us to go about our life in a more productive and comfortable way. We shouldn't put these tools above what's most important in our lives, our purpose. If any tools get in the way of our purpose in life then we can easily be thrown off of our path. As monks we had tools but they were always quality. I once asked an older monk why we had such new cars and not some beat-up old ones that someone had handed down to us. He said to me "It's more about practicality and us getting from A to B and having that car lasting a long time if we take care of it." What's the lesson here? The lesson is to have quality tools that will last a long time and to take care of them, that's the most practical thing you can do. https://MonkMindset.com

A wise monk once told me to meditate on the word Love. Love means different things to all of us because of our childhood. For some, it may mean pain and emptiness, for others warm and inviting. The languages of love really stand out to me. Some show love by verbalizing it, and others show love by action. What's most important is how we love ourselves. How would it be possible for us to love others if we have no love for ourselves first? Today we should practice loving ourselves. Sit in quiet for 5 minutes and tell yourself, "I love myself, and everything is going to be ok." https://MonkMindset.com

Forgiveness is one of the hardest things that we can put into practice. Forgiveness gives us an opportunity to heal and let our hearts expand. We can forgive but it's hard to forget the pain and suffering we've gone through. Forgiving someone doesn't give them a pass or excuse their bad behavior. Forgiving gives us an opportunity to process the pain that we've been through. I once experienced another monk I had to forgive, but we had to have a talk first so I could understand his behaviors. Every time we were in a group setting he would give me a little punch in the arm. Over time the friendly punches in the arm became more and more powerful. I had wondered why he was hurting me in this way. I eventually sat him down and asked him about this and he said that he was sorry and that I reminded him of his dad. His dad had left them as a teenager. The point of the story is that in order for me to forgive him I had to have some backstory on his behaviors. Once I found out why he was acting this way, it was easier for me to forgive him. https://MonkMindset.com

Monks focus on hospitality and welcoming anyone that comes in their path. They are there to receive them no matter what race, ethnicity, gender, or social class. There was a time when a lesbian couple came to visit and one of the women asked me if I hated her. I was puzzled, "Do I hate you?" She said, yes do you hate me because I'm married to my wife, I know the church is against it. I was put on the spot and I had said to her, "No, I don't hate you, I love you." She burst into tears and said that no one from the church had ever told her that she was loved. At that moment I was accepting her where no one had before. To this day we still have a great relationship because of her misconceptions of what a monk's purpose was all about. Let us love strangers no matter what, without expecting anything in return. https://MonkMindset.com

One day I wanted to go for a hike on a Sunday afternoon with some friends. I was feeling FOMO, also known as fear of missing out. An old monk asked me if it was a good idea if I go hiking that day and asked me if I had checked the weather. I said, "Yeah, yeah, I checked it and I'm going to see my friends from out of town." Well, I didn't check the weather and I was too interested in getting outside of the monastery that day. My friends and I didn't plan well for our hike and veered off the trail. I was quick to make the decision and quick to veer off the trail. We ended up getting lost and getting rained on. After hours of making our way back, I showed up wet and frustrated. I ran into the old wise monk when I got back and he just looked at me with a smirk and said, "Next time you should check the weather." https://MonkMindset.com

There are two kinds of purposes in life. Purpose with capital P and purpose with a lower case p. The Purpose with a capital P is an overarching purpose in your life: love, become a doctor, be a good mother or father. The little purpose in life can be defined as an everyday purpose. What's are our daily purposes? How am I bettering my own life and society. A monk once talked about building a house brick by brick. By following all the small 'p' purposes every day, they should one day help you achieve the large 'P' purpose in your life. Your purpose can change in any stage of your life, your motivations, passions, and situation can change at any time. This goes back to following your heart and believing you were put here for a reason. https://MonkMindset.com