We have all been there before. We comment on some ludicrous action taken by a person with different political views than ours and then, like clockwork, some chuckle head chimes in, “You’re just repeating the narrative of the mainstream media! You need to do research!” Well, actually, I did plenty of research while I was in college and I still do an immense amount of research today. Though I may watch a particular popular news channel from time to time, that is certainly not the extent of my knowledge of political affairs. When you major in political science like I did, you learn the first key of knowing anything about politics relies heavily on staying up to date on political journals, not the alphabet soup media. That is not to say that popular media is always wrong, but it certainly is nowhere near as accurate as political journals like Sage or JSTOR. I read political journals, historical papers, psychological journals, neuroscience studies, philosophical analyses, and political novels on a frequent basis. Then some lazy know nothing on social who sits and watches some obscure youtube channel funded by the same damn companies that fund FOX and CNN comes along, tells me to “wake up” and has the sheer audacity to imply that I am the one that needs to do “research”. This is similar to what I am sure star chef Gordon Ramsay feels when some upstart chef from a grimy dive restaurant tries to inform him how to cook a pizza the “right” way. Do your research chef. You’re cooking the “mainstream” way with things like seasoning and pizza ovens; you need to pop open that microwave and toss the pizza in there with ketchup and processed cheese. That is the real pizza recipe, the one the liberals and the Satanists do not want you to know about. That’s right folks. All of the real news is on youtube, a cartoonish platform that argues that building tiny huts in the woods is a great alternative to housing and that a failed actor shoving copious amounts of food down their throat is “entertainment”. But we can’t forget the value of other alternative sources of information like Meta, a platform that is also responsible for an increase in suicide amongst teens. Yes, we must listen to the news from a platform that causes children to take their own lives. What could be a more reliable source of information than that? And how about Tiktok, a platform that promotes conspiracy theories like the idea that hip hop is the devil’s music and that frequently has been caught causing children to harm each other by performing various “challenges”. These are the alternative sources that people with “opposing” opinions often use. Well, allow me to save the opposition some valuable time. Dear so-called “free thinkers”, you’re damn right that I do not care about your opinions because your opinions are misinformed. Your opinions were given to you by major corporations and so your opinions are nothing more than biased, useless, imprecise, nonsensical verbal diarrhea and I have grown weary of listening to your bullshit. These people with “opposing” opinions are doing nothing more than chanting slogans from millionaire comedians, youtubers, tiktokers, and instagram influencers who just happened to be funded by companies like Chevron, Merck, Kaiser, various drug companies, supplement companies, prepper companies, car salesmen, gold and silver coin companies, gun companies, crytocurrency companies, insurance companies, and churches. So, you know, the same damn companies who lobby congress and own the politicians you all pretend to hate so much. I know what I am doing when I choose to ignore such propaganda. However, the opposition bows on its knees and chants the slogans promoted by the real mainstream news, social media. So listen up brown-nosers and listen good. You can take each and every one of your corporate media funded "opposing" opinions and shove them straight up your algorithm. The political shepherd has spoken. How’s that for a wake up call snowflakes?