More Human. More Kind. | Parenting LGBTQ Kids, Unlearning Fear, Becoming More Human

How do you tell what is true online when you are searching for answers about your LGBTQ child?

When Connor first came out, Heather had question after question, and every answer led to two more. She shares the strategies she learned to find reliable information and avoid misinformation, and she is clear that each one takes an extra step or two. She walks through four areas: a source’s authority, the accuracy of its content, its objectivity and bias, and advanced search tools.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to:

• Check a source’s authority by looking at the author’s expertise, the publisher’s mission, and the website itself
• Verify claims by cross-referencing multiple sources, using fact-checking sites, and running a reverse image search
• Spot bias by looking at purpose, audience, and language, and push yourself to read sources that challenge what you already believe
• Use search tools such as Google Scholar and PubMed, search filters, and quotation marks to find better information in fewer searches

Press play to build a simple routine for checking what you read before you act on it.

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.

More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.

What if supporting your LGBTQ teen started with releasing your fears and choosing unconditional love instead?

When a child comes out as trans, nonbinary, or gender fluid, many parents experience uncertainty, confusion, and fear of getting it wrong. In this deeply compassionate episode, Heather and shawndeez, Ph.D., explore the emotional journey families experience while navigating gender identity, spirituality, acceptance, and LGBTQ allyship. Together, they discuss how open dialogue, patience, and understanding can transform fear into connection and help LGBTQ teens feel truly seen and supported.

In this episode, you’ll discover how to:

• Support trans and gender fluid LGBTQ teens with greater compassion, confidence, and emotional safety
• Create open, judgment-free conversations that strengthen trust and family connection
• Understand how allyship, spirituality, and unconditional love can help LGBTQ youth thrive beyond survival

Press play to gain heartfelt guidance and practical insight for supporting LGBTQ teens with more courage, understanding, and unconditional love as a parent or ally.

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.

More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.

What if your LGBTQ teen doesn’t feel loved the same way you naturally express love?

Many parents deeply love their LGBTQ children but still struggle to create the emotional connection, safety, and understanding their teen truly needs. In this episode, Heather explores the five love languages and explains how recognizing the unique ways LGBTQ teens receive and express love can strengthen trust, communication, and family relationships.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to:

• Use the five love languages to better support LGBTQ teens and strengthen family connection
• Recognize how different expressions of love impact emotional safety, trust, and belonging
• Create more meaningful communication and allyship within your parenting relationships

Press play to discover practical love language tools that can help parents and allies build deeper, more connected relationships with LGBTQ teens through compassion, understanding, and intentional support.

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.

More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.

What does it take to write a book, and what did it teach one mom about herself?

Heather announces that her first book, Parenting with Pride, is going to print. She shares what the past 18 months of writing, rewriting, and editing were like, including the pain of offering her rawest self on paper and having it rejected. She also explains why the show is returning to its roots this year.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to:

• Hear what Heather learned about resilience, confidence, courage, and humility along the way
• Learn how she knew when to fight for something important and when to let it go
• Borrow the pause practices she used when frustration hit, including a walk, a call to a friend, and a piece of chocolate
• Understand where the podcast is headed this year and how she wants to keep learning alongside you

Press play to hear the story behind the book and what is ahead for the show.

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.

More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.

What if your child’s gender identity shifts, and instead of panicking, you leaned in?

When a child comes out as trans or nonbinary, many parents feel an urgent need to defend, define, and protect that identity. But what happens if your child’s understanding of themselves evolves? In a world that demands certainty and boxes, parents are left wondering: Am I doing this right? What if it’s a phase? What do I say to critics? This episode gently unpacks those fears and invites a more expansive, grounded way forward.

1. A healthier framework for understanding gender fluidity without fear or rigidity
2. Practical ways to respond when others question your child’s identity
3. Permission to loosen your grip on labels while strengthening your unconditional support

Press play to explore how embracing fluidity, freedom, and flexibility might be the greatest gift you give your child and yourself.

About our Guest:

Trystan Reese has been organizing with the trans community for nearly two decades, serving on the frontlines of this generation’s biggest fights for LGBTQ+ justice around the country. He then launched onto the global stage in 2017 when his family’s unique journey gained international media attention. He was honored to partner with many major media outlets, including CNN, NBC, People, and Buzzfeed, to bring his message of trans family love and resilience to the mainstream. Professionally, he is the founder of Collaborate Consulting, providing customized training solutions for individuals, organizations, and communities interested in social justice. His first book, How We Do Family, was released in the summer of 2021 and his children’s book, The Light Of You, was released at the beginning of 2022.

Trystan is married to his partner Biff, and they live in Portland, Oregon, with their three kids: Riley, Sully, and Leo. They are very happy.

https://www.trystanreese.com/

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.

More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.

What does it take to be an ally in the truest sense, beyond a label or a post?

Heather kicks off the year with a practical look at LGBTQ allyship. She shares a recent win in a hard conversation with a non-affirming person, then walks through nine actions anyone can take. Her point is that allyship is a lifelong commitment, and that our actions need to go beyond performative gestures.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to:

• Expand your knowledge and challenge your own biases without shame or finger-pointing
• Use inclusive language and create safe spaces, starting at home
• Advocate with your voice, your vote, and your dollars, including how to prioritize the most marginalized members of the community
• Amplify LGBTQ voices and support authentic representation in media and publishing

Press play for nine actions that turn good intentions into real support.

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.

More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.

How do you get through a family crisis when everyone around you is celebrating the most wonderful time of the year?

Heather talks about being in crisis during the holidays and what she learned from a hard season in her own family. She opens with a deep breath, then shares seven suggestions she has tried herself. She asks you to pick two or three and commit to trying them.

In this episode you’ll learn how to:

• Spend present time with your children who are not in crisis, and with your partner without discussing the crisis
• Use time with a dog, small acts of kindness, and a gratitude practice to calm your body and mind
• Take things off your plate, from a cleaning service to takeout twice a week
• Lean on the people who want to hold you up, and remember that this too is impermanent

Press play for seven practical ways to get through the holidays when your world feels like it is caving in.

If you or someone you love needs support right now, the Trevor Project is available at 1-866-488-7386 or by texting START to 678-678.

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.

More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.

What do you say when a relative at the holiday table doesn’t accept your LGBTQ child?

Heather revisits how to handle non-affirming and unsupportive people, and other crises, during the holidays. She starts with a breath, explains the difference between those two terms, and offers three points of reference: time, facts, and boundaries. She also shares how she's responded in the past and what to do if your child doesn’t want to go.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to:

• Stay calm and ready with facts specific to where your child is in their journey
• Respond to common lines like “love the sinner, hate the sin” and “I love you, but I disagree”
• Honor a child who doesn’t want to attend a gathering, and remember that homophobia is not your problem or your fault
• Care for yourself through the season with six simple practices, from time with your partner to a gratitude journal

Press play to prepare for the conversations you hope you won’t have this holiday season.

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.

If you or someone you love needs support right now, the Trevor Project is available at 1-866-488-7386 or by texting START to 678-678.

How do you celebrate a milestone when your family is grieving?

The podcast turns four, and Heather planned to mark it with a recap of guests and lessons. Then the family’s ten-year-old dog, Teagan, was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. Heather shares what the family learned in those last weeks and how Teagan’s calm presence carried them through four years of change, paying tribute to this sweet girl who embodied unconditional love.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to:

• Make room for grief and gratitude at the same time
• Help the whole family process a loss through shared memories, photos, and stories
• Notice the steady, quiet presence of a family pet through years of change
• Think about what unconditional love looks like when it is simply given

Press play to hear a tribute to the dog who stayed beside one family through everything.

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.

What does shame look like when a gay child seems to be doing everything right?

Heather talks with Michael Mamina, a master life coach, about growing up gay and being bullied, and how he learned to hide who he was. He shares how a workshop on the shadow changed his life, and how he moves through the stages of shame described in The Velvet Rage. He also offers advice to young people considering coming out and to parents whose child comes out to them.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to:

• Understand how beliefs formed in childhood can become survival strategies that last into adulthood
• Recognize the first stages of shame, including avoidance and overcompensation
• Respond when your child comes out by listening, taking a pause if you need one, and not making it about whether you are okay with it
• Use Michael’s FLY acronym, which starts with first loving yourself

Press play to hear a gay man’s path from hiding to self-love, and what he wants parents to know.

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.