More Lovin Podcast

This is one of my new favorite words! Tune in to find out what Propinquity means~

You're listening to the Love Tidbits Podcast, where you'll discover a small, tasty, delightful, bite-sized tidbit of love. I'm your host, LeAnn Austin

Hey y'all, welcome to Love Tidbits, episode #15: Propinquity

I recently attended my cute daughter-in-law, Sarah's college graduation. We've had our two sons and our other daughter-in-law graduate within the past year, and it was wonderful to finally be able to attend a graduation ceremony in person.

It made my heart smile, watching all these graduates. The excitement, the fear, the anticipation and anxiety, as they begin a new chapter in their lives. Everything ran seamlessly, and the four talks given where some of the best I've ever heard. I told Sarah to please graduate every year so I could come listen to these amazing speakers.

I want to share a new word I learned from the president of the university, Kevin Worthen. (Click HERE for link to full talk.) It's called propinquity, and it means the state of being close to someone or something; nearness. President Worthen shared three things to make propinquity a more positive factor in our lives, and I want to touch on two of them today.

He said, "first consciously seek in-person contact with others." So much of our lives are digital and there are some benefits to that. But being near someone in-person is so important. I felt that as I sat in graduation, the community of humans from all over the world, celebrating accomplishments, it was truly glorious. Doing that on zoom just doesn't have the same effect. We need propinquity. I challenge all of us to look for opportunities to be near other humans.

Well, the second word of advice from President Worthen, "consciously seek positive in-person interaction with those with whom you disagree." I love this. "People are increasingly polarized with respect to their views on almost every issue. But, interacting with those whose opinions are different, can foster trust and respect. Being with and learning from those whom we disagree, strengthens understanding, and creates bonds of propinquity that will help us deal positively with our differences," President Worthen said.

So I was thinking, what if we seek out interaction and learning from those whom we disagree? Hmmm. One of my all time favorite quotes is, "You either love someone or you don't understand them." What if we intentionally sought to understand those that we have a hard time loving? What if we were near them often, continually seeking to learn from and love them, no matter what our differences.

Thank you Sarah, for graduating and giving me the opportunity to hear about, and experience propinquity, meaning the state of being close to someone or something; nearness.

And a quote from Kevin Worthen to ponder, "The propinquity effect is a phenomenon, which explains the tendency of individuals to form close relationships with people they repeatedly encounter. Hmmm, something to think about.

Have a good one y'all, and here's to propinquity and love.

If you would like to become an expert at loving yourself, check out my Lovin Me Program at leannaustin.com

Hey y'all, if you're listening to this podcast the day it comes out, and not lovin that Mother's Day is Sunday? There's still time to sign up for my free 20 minute class. It's tomorrow, May 5th, and I'm going to teach you the 5 Secrets to making this Mother's Day the best ever. So go to leannaustin.com and Join Now.

You're listening to the Love Tidbits Podcast. Where you'll discover a small, tasty, delightful, bite-sized tidbit of love. I'm your host, LeAnn Austin.

Hey y'all, welcome to Love Tidbits, episode #14: Atlas of the Heart

Brené Brown has a new book called Atlas of the Heart. I love it. It's a beautiful book that I highly recommend.

It's an Atlas per say of 87 emotions and experiences that define what it means to be human. Brené says, "The anchor we are searching for is connection, and it is internal. To form meaningful connections with others, we must first connect with ourselves. But to do either, we must first establish a common understanding of the language of emotion and the human experience."

So Brené breaks down emotions into 13 sections and she starts each section off with, "the places we go when..." And then ties in all these 87 emotions. It's fascinating how she does this. Well, if discussing emotions or feelings is something that you want to avoid with a ten foot pole, which is kind of how I used to be. I didn't even know what a feeling was, let alone discuss it. But what I've learned about feelings the past five-ish years, there's actually some merit to learning about our feelings.

So let's play a game. Every day, and anytime during the day, I want you to pause for two minutes and notice what you're feeling. Just pause, anytime, every day. As you're noticing what you're feeling, give it a name. And if you're not sure what name the feelings or emotions are, you can get Brené's book, or you can Google emotions and there's a kazillion of them. But name what you're feeling. Is it, for example, stress, worry, excitement, frustration, bored, curious, hopeless, sad, compassion, guilt, lonely, anger, confusion, joy, and a million more. Whatever it is, just name it, and then feel it in your body.

What I mean by this is pretend you're describing what you're feeling inside your body, to someone who has never felt an emotion inside your body, they have no idea. Like where is it located? Is it hard or soft? What's the texture? Maybe you think of a color when you're feeling it. Be really detailed and just describe it.

That's it. So that's the game. Every day, pause for two minutes, notice what you're feeling, give it a name, and feel it in your body. Alright, so this is what I do every single day. And it has completely changed my life. This is why I created my Lovin Me Program for y'all to learn about and understand that our thoughts and feelings, end up as our results. And when we become aware of our emotions and thoughts, we can achieve the results we really want.

Many of you go to a gym to build your physical muscles. Well, if you want to strengthen your mental and emotional muscles, try my Lovin Me Program, and we will make that happen. Just come try it for a month. It's only 29 bucks and I promise it will transform your lives.

So back to Brené's book, there are lots of quotes that I love, but a favorite one is: "When we stop numbing and start feeling and learning again, we have to reevaluate everything, especially how to choose loving ourselves over making other people comfortable." Hmmm, something to think about.

Have a good one y'all, and here's to connecting with ourselves and joining Lovin Me.

If you would like to become an expert at loving yourself, check out my Lovin Me Program at leannaustin.com.

Hey y'all, are you not lovin that Mother's Day is coming up? Is it one of your least favorite holidays? You don't get what you want. It's filled with grief and sadness. You feel obligated to do things. Lots of should haves, could haves, would haves.

If you answered yes to any of these questions, come to my FREE 20 minute class where I'm sharing the 5 secrets to having the best Mother's Day ever.

This class is next Thursday, May 5th. And if you'd like to join me, sign up at leannaustin.com

No matter how the people in your home show up, or don't show up. If your mom has passed on, if you don't have children, or simply don't enjoy Mother's Day, these 5 secrets I'm going to teach you, will create more compassion and less dread. So join now and hope to see y'all on May 5th.

You're listening to the Love Tidbits Podcast, where you'll discover a small, tasty, delightful, bite-sized tidbit of love. I'm your host, LeAnn Austin

Hey y'all, welcome to Love Tidbits, episode number 13: Out Loud Mistakes

I was filling in on the piano for a children's choir. An amazing conductor was leading these cute kiddos. They were so attentive and intrigued by all the fun activities she was doing with them to teach them the words of the song. Towards the end, she had them stand and sing the song. After it was over, she complimented them on singing loudly, even on the parts where they weren't sure of the words. And then she said something that struck a chord with me.

"An out loud mistake is better than a silent nothing." I wanted to jump up and say amen to that. How often do we stay silent? Or don't even try because someone else may hear or see us messing up. We all make mistakes and it's okay. In fact, the more mistakes we make, the more knowledge we gain.

What if we intentionally took action and made mistakes every day towards the things we really want, instead of silently doing nothing?

Y'all have heard of famous mistakes that created success, and here's just a few:

J K Rowling: her short-lived marriage imploded. She was jobless, a single parent, and so poor, she was almost homeless. She felt like the biggest failure she ever knew, but she kept learning from her mistakes and created Harry Potter for us all to enjoy.

Albert Einstein: he couldn't speak fluently until the age of nine. He was kicked out of school. He said, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." His research has influenced so many aspects of our life. He also said, "Success is failure in progress."

Abraham Lincoln: his business failed. He suffered a nervous breakdown. He was defeated in his run for president. He refused to stop trying his best, and became the 16th president of the United States.

Michael Jordan: he missed more than 9,000 shots in his career. Lost more than 300 games. 26 times he was trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. He said, "I failed over and over and over again in my life, and that is why I succeed."

Think of the mistakes you've made and what you've learned from them. It's kind of like in the movie, miss-takes are planned. Those acting and filming the shows don't beat themselves or others up about the miss-takes, they're part of the process. Sometimes we're even lucky enough to see the blunders, and those miss-takes can be some of our favorite parts.

So Tiffany Wade, thank you for teaching one of my new favorite quotes: "An out loud mistake is better than a silent nothing." Hmmm, something to think about.

Have a good one y'all, and here's to love and making mistakes.

If you're enjoying this podcast, please leave a review to help others hear tidbits of love.

If you would like to become an expert at loving yourself, check out my Lovin Me program at leannaustin.com

Ways to connect with Jenna~ instagram.com/jennakimjones couplefriendspodcast.com twitter.com/jennakimjones

You're listening to the Love Tidbits Podcast, where you'll discover a small, tasty, delightful, bite-sized tidbit of love. I'm your host, LeAnn Austin

Hey y'all, welcome to Love Tidbits, episode #12: Silly Love Songs with Jenna Kim Jones

I love observing and connecting with other humans, especially noting how they feel and implement love into their life.

We have the amazing Jenna Kim Jones sharing some beautiful love insights with us today. So Jenna, why don't you briefly introduce yourself.

Jenna: Hello! Well thank you so much for having me, LeAnn. You are such a great friend and I'm thrilled to be here and I'm excited about your podcast. So I'm happy to be here.

I am a professional stand-up comedian. I've been doing comedy for 10 years. I live in Georgia, and I've only lived in Georgia for four and a half years, but I love it. I'm trying to make it my home. I'm like, I don't want to go anywhere. It's fabulous. I have three kids, I'm married, and that's pretty much...Oh, and I podcast, I also podcast. So, yeah, I have a great career, and a great family, and you know, every day is just a journey. I'm just plugging along. Like everybody else.

LeAnn: I love that. Yes, we're all living the dream, right? Awesome. Alright, well I've got three questions for you today, and the first one is: How do you incorporate love into your business and/or your life?

Jenna: Okay. This is a great question. I am a comedian. Okay, and I love being a comedian. So I'll just start right then. I did not know I would be a comedian. It was not a life goal of mine. I fell into it after college and I felt like I found my love language. That is my jokes are my love language. I think sometimes people get an idea about comedy because a lot of times it's kind of edgy, or maybe it can feel mean-spirited, but I try to make sure that my comedy is fun and light. And do I make fun of things? Absolutely. But my intention is never to hurt anybody. My intention is literally just to point stuff out and have a great time. So like I said, jokes are my love language. If I'm teasing you, if I'm making jokes around you, you know, I've got you back.

LeAnn: Well, I've been able to go to one of your shows and it was amazing, the best. And I love that you do make it fun and light and so good. Awesome.

Jenna: Well, that's sort of, I just don't like to, I think comedy sometimes gets a, people get the idea like, oh, you're going to make fun of me, or you're going to, you know, step into places I don't want to hear about or whatever it might be.

Maybe I'm not expressing that well, but the idea is I try to just make it fun. Life is supposed to be fun. Life is really hard for a lot of people. Life is challenging, but I think it's important regardless of what's going on to have a little bit of fun.

LeAnn: Yes. Totally agree. I love it.

Jenna: Oh and sorry, I could just talk forever. LeAnn, you invited the wrong person on your podcast. Okay, I don't want to not say this, I took some notes so that I wouldn't forget because I just had a baby like seven months ago and I'm still in that like foggy brain space. So I do have some notes. So, I have a podcast as well. I said that already, and it's called Couple Friends and I do it with my husband and he is hilarious and he's wonderful. And I will, this is so corny to say, but he really is the love of my life. Um, I hate myself for saying it, but he is, okay.

And to the point where let's get real, I told him if I die early in some horrible tragedy, I can't have you remarrying anyone. Okay, because I'm just going to be way too jealous. I'm going to have to come back and haunt you. It's a whole thing. So we just got to hope that life is long together. But we do a podcast together, and it's purely dedicated to just being silly and lighthearted and fun. We do not take on the world's problems in our podcasts. We like to think we are a break from the world's problems. And, I think when people listen to that, you can tell that we're just here to like spread the love.

LeAnn: I so, so, so agree with that because I love listening to your podcast and listening to you and Al, and learning all these fascinating things like today when I listened, I heard that Al plays volleyball. I had no clue that he does that. So it is, I love that it's just fun and loving and light and oh, you guys are just beautiful examples of, of doing that. So thank you. Alright, so number two: what is something you love about you and why?

Jenna: Ooh, these, this is a hard one. Cause you know I just want to be self-deprecating all the time, but, that's just what I like to do. But I do, I will say that I do like an adventure, so not like put me up in the sky and throw me out of an airplane kind of adventure. No, no, no, no. I'm a huge baby. I don't want to do that. That scares me. I don't even like roller coasters. That's not the adventure I'm talking about.

I'm talking like, I like a little bit of a challenge, a little bit of a, like, can I pull this off? Will I be able to pull this off? I don't know. For example, I mentioned already that I had a baby and I had a little bit of work that I needed to do after I had the baby. So it was only two months after he was born. I was like, can I go do this work? Can I take my three children on an airplane by myself? With the two month old. Sure. Why not? And we did, and we flew and we had a great, uh, it wasn't really a vacation, but I got to do a little bit of work. I got to have my kids with me.

I had some help from my mom. Don't worry. I wasn't completely alone here. And for my husband, But, I had to fly by myself and those kinds of my husband always thinks I'm crazy, cause he'll say like, I don't know about you, you like see hard things and you're like, let's try it. Let's just see if we can do it. It'll be great, and I think that that's helped me in stand up. Especially with my career in comedy, because I, when I first started was terrified of it, like to a point where 24 hours before I knew I was going to go on stage, I would be filled with anxiety. I'd be terrified. I would, all I could think about was, I can't believe I'm going to go on stage and I would want to, and I would want to bail out. I would think to myself, like, just don't you could just not do it. You know, you could just not do it. But then I would say to myself, no no, do it, you have to do it. This is an adventure. This is a challenge. Do it. So I think in the end, it's paid off. I get to do shows now, I have comedy specials. I have a really good work-life balance with my kids. And, but it took a lot of those moments of like, this seems really hard and scary. I think I should do it.

LeAnn: Ah, I love that, because for me it's almost like if I feel like I'm going to throw up, then that means I should go ahead and do it.

It's like adventurous, like, ah, that's awesome.

It's horrible. What am I doing? I'm doing it.

I love that, what an awesome quality that you have. Alright. K, so before I ask you the last question, anything else you want to share and where can our audience go to find out more about you?

Jenna: Oh, I love that, well, like I said, I'm a standup comedian and a podcaster, so I would love for you to check out my podcast. It's called Couple Friends. Like I said, it's like a break. We, Allen and I tease that, you know, Murder podcasts are really the most popular kind of podcast and people just love a good murder mystery. And I say, you can only take so much of that. Alright, so listen to your murder podcasts, and then listen to my podcast where you'll have a light happy time. No darkness.

LeAnn: I love it. Yes.

Jenna: So, listen to LeAnn for the Love Tidbits, and then come over to mine and it's called Couple Friends. You can find out all about it at couplefriendspodcast.com. And then of course, follow me on social media. My full name is @ Jenna Kim Jones, and that's where my handle is everywhere.

LeAnn: Okay, perfect, and we'll put that into the show notes as well. Yeah, go ahead.

Jenna: I don't know when this is coming out LeAnn, is it coming out soon? Oh, nevermind then. Okay.

LeAnn: Alright. Okay, so for the last question: what is your favorite question or quote about love?

Jenna: Oh, okay. So full disclosure. I read this question and I went like, blank, crickets. I got nothing. What? I don't have any questions about love. Do I have a favorite quote about love? How do I know anything about love? So then I decided, okay, I'm going to do a little internet research. And for me, my first instinct was like, go to music, go to love songs, go to silly songs.

And then of course the comedian kicked in and I was like, oh, my favorite quote is of course Bon Jovi: you give love a bad name. No, no, no. Take out the sarcasm. Okay, what am I really going for here? So I realize, there's a song, Paul McCartney wrote it, popular song from a few decades back. And, it's called Silly Love Songs.

And the lyrics of that song, the beginning, very beginning says, "You'd think that people would have had enough of silly love songs. I look around me and I see it isn't so. Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs and what's wrong with that?" So, not only do I have a quote here, there's a question, "What's wrong with that?"

Why can't we just love and love and love? Alright, so I really love that song and I love that whole sentiment, because I don't think you can ever, stop finding reasons to feel love or be loved or, you know, find happiness in love or whatever it might be. Sometimes you just like to listen to sad love songs, because that feels good to, you know, but what I'm really trying to say is I like the sentiment of that song.

And then I thought, you know, I wonder why Paul McCartney wrote this song. So I dug a little bit deeper. And the reason he wrote this song was, he felt that this, and this is just according to the internet, maybe it's not true. I'm going to go with it's true because it feels good to me and what I'm trying to say.

But apparently according to what I researched, he wrote the song as a rebuttal to people who were critical of his music. People who had criticized him for writing what they called light-weight love songs. There's an author who suggested that this song, Silly Love Songs was written because McCartney's like inviting people to have a little bit of a laugh and to be a little bit lighthearted and silly.

I love that, I all of a sudden went like this is a fabulous song and completely feels right to me, because as a comedian, I am often criticized, because of the material that I choose. I'm very lighthearted, very silly. I tease about my husband, my kids, my life. I've had comedians, oh, and I'm a very clean comedian.

I don't do edgy or blue comedy, and I've had people criticize me for that because they say, well, you don't go like deep enough into people's problems. Your life is too happy, sunshine. You don't have any like real raw, meaty things that you talk about. And I thought, I always think like, but why do we need more of that?

And so I love this song. It actually has more meaning to me now because I go like, hey, why can't we just have lots of silly love songs? Why can't we just tell silly jokes? Why can't we just be a little bit lighthearted sometimes? So that is my new favorite go-to about love.

LeAnn: Jenna, I love that. And silly love songs. Hmmm y'all, something to think about. Thank you. Thank you, Jenna, for sharing your tidbits of love with us. Have a good one y'all and here's to love~

If you would like to become an expert at loving yourself, check out my Lovin Me Program at leannaustin.com

What we resist persists! We want to "allow" our feelings and here's how...

You're listening to the Love Tidbits Podcast, where you'll discover a small, tasty, delightful, bite-sized tidbit of love. I'm your host, LeAnn Austin

Hey y'all, welcome to Love Tidbits, episode number 11: All the Feels

I have three brothers, no sisters. And we have four sons, no daughters, until the last two years I've been blessed with two amazing daughter-in-laws. So for most of my life, I've pretty much been the only girl. Not a lot of talk about feelings happened with all that testosterone in my house. However, when I started learning more about feelings a few years ago and figuring out that I actually had them, my life began to change.

Feelings may sound mystical and strange, and many people are uncomfortable talking about them, but when we understand them, they become very useful to us. Feelings are why we do everything. We define a feeling as a vibration in the body, that's caused by a thought. The difference between a feeling and a sensation; sensations are involuntary and start in the body. Feelings began in the brain in the form of a thought. We think a thought, and then the brain releases an appropriate chemical and that chemical vibrating through the body is what we call a feeling.

We all have hopes and desires for ourselves and the people around us, but what we really want are the positive feelings we believe we'll have once we get those things. Instead of looking to control or change the people and things outside of us, let's take a look at what we're thinking and feeling.

All right, think about what you want. And then go a layer deeper and ask yourself what you really, really want. Ask yourself how you believe you'll feel when you get what you want. Maybe it's accomplished, confident, proud, or whatever. In every case, it's the feeling you desire, and that's great news. When you consider that all of our feelings come from our thoughts, which we get to choose.

As humans, we typically don't like the way negative emotions feel, so a lot of our behavior is an attempt to change or avoid them. Most people are unaware of what they're feeling most of the time, and certainly unable to label or describe their feelings. That was totally me. So, if you want to change your life, you must become aware of what you're feeling in the present moment.

We're not taught to feel our emotions. Feeling is an ability that most of us need to learn because we're taught by the media and social conditioning to escape our emotions. We are even taught that positive emotions aren't enough by themselves. They need to be heightened by purchasing something or eating something or drinking something or viewing something, or a myriad of other things.

So I'm going to teach you four things we do with uncomfortable emotions or feelings. The first thing we Resist, you know when you're clench your fist really tight, or you grit your teeth. I also heard resisting a feeling described as holding a beach ball under the water. It wants to pop up, but we hold it down building the pressure around it. The beach ball continues to build that pressure until ultimately it pops way up out of the water. What we resist persists.

The second thing we do with uncomfortable feelings is React. Yelling, screaming, crying is not the same as feeling. When we act out our emotions, we seem to be releasing something and feeling something, but we're often just acting them out and not processing or feeling them at all. Feeling doesn't look like acting. A feeling is something you can do sitting in a chair and experiencing a subtle vibration. Reacting means we are allowing the emotion to drive us and we are operating at the effect of it.

The third thing is to Avoid. We escape or distract ourselves through some sort of buffer. For example, eating, shopping, working, exercising, scrolling, social media, drinking, drugs, etc.

And the last thing, the fourth thing we do with an uncomfortable feeling or emotion, and this is the thing that we really want to do, is to Allow it. Allowing a feeling or emotion is a skill that we need to learn and practice.

So how do we allow it? Well, first we name it. Just one word, for example, is it sad, glad, fear, frustrated, disappointed. If you're not sure Google emotions and you'll find a whole slew of them. After you name it with a word, you want to find it in your body and describe it. Where is it, is it in your chest and your belly in your throat? What does that feel like? Is it hot or cold? Buzzing, heavy, sticky, smooth? What color is it? Describe it.

Then you want to relax into it, take a deep breath and allow it. Relax your muscles and think about just holding that feeling inside of your body as long as necessary. And then allow it, just sit with it. Hold it, notice it until it subsides. Think about carrying around a purse or backpack of your emotion. Or if you're in a car driving, you could think about setting this feeling in the seat next to you and having it come along with you. We can still do things even when we're feeling negative emotions.

Allowing your emotions is one of the most important skills you will ever learn. Once you are good at it, it can completely change your relationship with yourself and all the people you've come in contact with, because you won't be reactive. But rather the compassionate observer. When we start becoming more conscious of our feelings, we'll spend more time observing ourselves. This may be a little awkward and might not come easily. But remember that feelings are harmless. A feeling is simply a vibration in our body and nothing more. Feelings can be felt without taking any action or reacting at all. Our feelings are like a compass to keep our lives on track. When we learn how to allow them, instead of resisting them, there is nothing we can't handle.

Sometimes in our effort to be happy all the time, we stay away from discomfort that could help us evolve and inspire us to make our dreams come true. What if we were willing to fail epically and try courageously? What if we accepted that emotional balance means that 50% of the time we'll be on the other side of happy. That is the normal experience, a balance of positive and negative emotions.

One of the most impactful quotes I've heard, that I don't always appreciate at the time, but I do believe it and have witnessed the results that happen when I feel it. Is Brooke Castillo, one of my coaches and mentors says, "Discomfort is the price of growth." Hmmm, something to think about.

If you want to learn more about feelings, and how they can help you create the life you truly desire, check out my Lovin Me Program. It's only $29 a month and you can stop anytime. Our members are strengthening their emotional muscles and transforming their lives. Come join Lovin Me and become an expert at loving you.

Have a good one y'all, and here's to love and all the feels.

If you would like to become an expert at loving yourself, check out my Lovin Me Program leannaustin.com

Doing these 3 things in the "sweet spot" of your day can change your life!

You're listening to the Love Tidbits Podcast, where you'll discover a small, tasty, delightful, bite-sized tidbit of love. I'm your host, LeAnn Austin

Hey y'all, welcome to Love Tidbits, episode number ten: The Gap and the Gain

I recently read this book called The Gap and the Gain by Dan Sullivan. It is an awesome book with relatable stories and practical tools to try. Quick summary, so when you're in the Gap, you lose what you have. The Gap makes every experience worse. The Gap makes any form of progress a let down. Whatever you've done isn't enough because the standard of success keeps moving.

And then when you're in the Gain, you measure your own progress. You don't compare yourself to anything external. You don't measure yourself against your ideals. When you're in the Gain, you focus on what you actually done.

I've been thinking about this as we've had some air conditioning issues going on in our house, and they've come out a couple of times trying to fix these and had to change a control panel and all of this, assuring us that this would fix the problem, but it didn't fix the problem. And so then there was something else, and I noticed myself going to the Gap; What is wrong with them? Why can't they get this figured out? Why is this happening? And not really learning or appreciating what was going on at all.

Because when I'm in the Gain about all of this, the weather has been pretty nice, so we didn't need the air or the heat, it hasn't been a problem. We're home and we can take care of it and get it fixed. So there's lots of things. Some parts are under warranty. So there's lots of things in the Gain when I choose to focus on and learn from that.

So remember, you're in the Gap every time you measure yourself or your situation against an ideal, and you're in the Gain, when you measure yourself backwards against where you were before.

Every experience can be transformed into a Gain. And you can transform anything into a Gain by creating a new lesson or insights or standards for yourself. You become better, and your future becomes bigger. An experience is only valuable and useful once you've transformed it into a Gain. And remember, everything in life happens FOR you not TO you.

I love how Dan shares in this book, that success is measured by you. So what if we changed our reference point to be internal, where we measure our own progress, rather than comparing ourselves against something or someone external.

They give a great example in the book, and they're talking about the British rowing team. Now, apparently the British rowing team had not won a gold medal since 1912, and then something changed. In anticipation of the 2000 Sydney Olympics, the team developed a useful filtering process that changed everything for them. They developed a one question response to every single decision they made. This one question allowed them to measure every situation, every decision, every obstacle, and not to get derailed, like most of us do. With every decision or opportunity each member of the team asks themselves, Will it make the boat go faster?

For example, you get invited to a late night party the night before training and ask, Will it make the boat go faster? If no, the decision is no. The rowing team used this single measure as their decision filter to quickly escalate their unity, their skills, conditioning, and training, and guess who won the gold that year? The British rowing team won the gold.

So the more you're in the Gain, the less you compare, you compete, or you even care what other people think about you. You're playing your own game. You're seeing new progress every day. You're loving you and your life.

One other quick thing I want to share from the book. So much information, so I highly recommend reading it. The last hour of the day can be a Gain Hour. One that positively transforms how you sleep, as well as your entire next day. So what you do during that hour before bedtime, Dan calls the "sweet spot" and it's critically important. It sets the tone for your next day. It's where your deepest habits are formed. How you end your day doesn't only determine how well you sleep, it also dictates when you'll wake up. It decides how committed and sold you are on what you'll do and who you'll be the next day. It defines how effective and alert you'll be the next day. Because when you end your day poorly and without a committed plan, you compromise the next 24 hours.

So three things to do. Before you go to bed, that last hour, the Gain Hour, write down three wins from today. Whatever your three wins were, write them down. Then write down three wins you'd like to accomplish tomorrow. And finally, share your wins. Share the wins you've done for today. That's it. Those three things, your sweet spot, your Gain Hour before you go to bed. I've been trying this and it really is helping me create the results that I want. So celebrate your three wins of today, decide and write down what your three wins for tomorrow will be, and share your wins with someone.

One of my favorite quotes from the book is by Greg McKeown: "If you focus on what you lack, you lose what you have. If you focus on what you have, you gain, what you lack." Hmmm, something to think about.

Have a good one y'all ~ and here's to love and Gain.

If you would like to become an expert at loving yourself, check out my Lovin Me Program at leannaustin.com

What if instead of All or Nothing, we play inbetween?

You're listening to the Love Tidbits Podcast, where you'll discover a small, tasty, delightful, bite-sized tidbit of love. I'm your host, LeAnn Austin

Hey y'all, welcome to Love Tidbits, episode number nine, Play in the Gray

I taught a workshop recently about playing in the gray, and as I've been practicing this in my life, I've discovered it's a great place to be.

There's a thought pattern that you may have noticed in yourself or others, it's referred to as black and white thinking. Which is defined as the inability to bring together both positive and negative perceptions of self, others, or circumstances into a whole view. So black and white thinking are thoughts that make people think in absolutes, swinging from one extreme to the other, believing something is all good or all bad.

When you've been observing black and white thinking, what are some words that come up? For example, I've heard always or never, right/wrong, all in or all out, on/off, all/nothing, and good or bad.

Gray thinking is the in between the spectrum of black and white. Gray thinking is ambiguous, it's uncertain, it doesn't have clearly defined characteristics. Gray thinking is a mindset that's open to new ideas. So always and never become sometimes. All or nothing, become some. Perfect or imperfect, become good at some things and bad at others. Or becomes And.

I've been practicing this in my life. And I used to think that I had to be eating all of the sugar or none of the sugar. There was no in-between. I was either on track or off track. Now, I play in the gray where I have some sugar. And sometimes more than I want, but I'm learning not to make it a problem. As I love myself, and I love different things about my body, eating some sugar is something I'm getting better at instead of all or none.

Another thing that I've been practicing is B- work. I used to think everything had to be perfect, A work, but I discovered that there were things I wouldn't even attempt doing because I didn't think they'd be good enough. Well, now I know that it's okay if my wording isn't exact, or my picture isn't me all dolled up, B- work is like playing in the gray. And, you know what, it's sharing information and it's helping me learn and get better at things instead of doing nothing at all.

There's a quote I love by Brene Brown: "The middle is messy, but it's also where the magic happens." Hmmm, something to think about.

Have a good one y'all ~ and here's to love and playing in the gray. If you're enjoying this podcast, please leave a review to help others hear tidbits of love. If you would like to become an expert at loving yourself, check out my Lovin Me Program at leannaustin.com

Ways to connect with Tupua~ Facebook.com/SamoanActor Facebook.com/TeamTuCosa Instagram.com/tupuaainuu Tictok.com@tupuaainuu

You're listening to the Love Tidbits Podcast, where you'll discover a small, tasty, delightful, bite-sized tidbit of love ~ I'm your host, LeAnn Austin

Hey y'all, welcome to Love Tidbits, episode number eight. Love is life with Tupua Ainu'u.

I love observing and connecting with other humans, especially noting how they feel and implement love into their lives. We have the amazing Tupua Ainu'u sharing some beautiful love insights with us today.

Alright Tupua, why don't you briefly introduce yourself.

First LeAnn, I am so proud of you. Congratulations on your podcast. I'm so honored to one of your guests. Congratulations, thank you so much for having. Ah, thanks. Very, very welcome. This is awesome. So, yes, let me introduce myself. I just want to say Talofa LeAnn and listeners, Talofa means hello and Samoan.

My full name is Tupua Leota Alapapa Leuali'i Tumuatasi Vaipou Tony Vaea Te'o Ainu'u. Wow. That's pretty long. I am an I am an American Samoan man who loves to act, sing and dance. I am an eagle scout, an army veteran of war, specifically war with Iraq. I am a mama's boy, a doting husband to my lovely wife Jacosa, loving father to my sons TJ and Makai, a director of engagement for my sweet senior citizens at Arbor Terrace senior living. But most importantly, I am a child of God.

I love that Tupua, so many amazing things. That's awesome. Thanks for sharing all of that with us and your name. Oh my goodness. That's so cool. Alright, so I have three questions for you today. And the first, how do you incorporate love into your business and/or your life?

Love really is the reason why I do anything. When it comes to business, I've always had a love for my culture. Performing and the arts, specifically with singing and acting. So, you know, besides being an Atlanta actor, I actually own a small business called Cousin T Entertainment where I advertise my wife and I singing. I MC and I DJ for different events.

My wife is a jazz singer, and I'm a crooner. We love to perform for birthdays and wedding parties. We also love to throw authentic Polynesian Luaus with authentic Polynesian dancing and food, and outside of my nine to five job, these business ventures and acting gigs come naturally to me because they're an extension of what I already love to do.

I actually feel really blessed that I can still use my gifts and talents and abilities every day with acting and singing, to serve and enrich the lives of my senior citizens as a director of engagement or activities. Again, I love my culture. The greatest privilege in Samoa is to serve your elders. I really do love them so much. The baby boomer generation, they are the greatest generation that ever lived. And LeAnn, it doesn't feel like work. And the main reason why it doesn't is because I love to do it. It's a pleasure. So if you have to work, try finding something that you love to do and you'll find your life to be more pleasurable, joyful and happy.

I love that so much when you truly love your work. And I get to see Tupua sometimes on social media with his work and those senior citizens are so blessed to have him a part of their lives, and acting and everything that you do. So awesome. Thank you. Super cool. Alright, so question number two. What is something you love about you and why?

I am a happy go lucky person. I love people and I love making others happy. Whenever I see an opportunity to make someone smile or do something to make their day, I make sure to do it and, you know, LeAnn it's interesting, growing up, that it took a while for me to completely own that and to completely accept that I love that about myself, you know.

A lot of things, for example, on Facebook, when Facebook first came out, it would show you all the people that had their birthdays. And I would make sure when it, whenever I'm on there, if someone had a birthday, I would wish them happy birthday. Now that I have almost 5,000 friends, I can't do that anymore. I used to love saying happy birthday to everyone. And so I love giving genuine compliments. I love pointing out something good about others, giving positive feedback, comments to make people happy. If I see that you have a cute dress, I say that is a cute dress, or wow that's beautiful jewelry, whatever is good about you. I like to compliment and say it and hope that it makes you feel good and that you have a good day.

I love that you really look for compliments, ways to say things to others and really, really appreciate them and show them that love through compliments. That's beautiful Tupua. Anything else?

Yeah, I also wanted to share that sometimes it's really hard to, to own that. What you love about yourself. It took me 38 years really to fully accept that. And I just wanted to share a little bit of where my story, growing up this way of being so happy go lucky, you know, always looking at thing and lovey and rose, you know, life in the colored glass.

Throughout my teens and early childhood, my peers would think that I was being fake, or I had an agenda for being so nice all the time, but I've always been that way. And I think I get it from my father. He was a super loving, affectionate, charming, and very happy positive person. There were a few times in my life though, when I thought something was wrong with me, I saw my strengths as weaknesses because of what other said, you know, they make me think I was a suck up. I was a people pleaser and superficial with my niceness, but what saved me from negativity, depression of thinking something was wrong with me, where the reminders of who I was from people random, or those who were close to me, or even someone like you LeAnn. Positivity that you exude out there, that you put out there in the world, it attracts more positivity. It encourages people to be more positive. And so I thank you for what you do. You are a platform of happiness and positivity, so thank you for what you do.

Ahh, thanks for your kind words. And I love that that is a big focus for you and how you're showing up genuine and truly incorporating that love into everything you do. That's beautiful.

Thank you so much. Could I share with you just a few people that reminded me about, you know, accepting who I am and to be loving and just be who I am, can I share just a few examples? Yes. Alright. So one person in the army, in my early twenties, reminded me when I was in Iraq and feeling down on myself. I told him I felt like I didn't have any purpose at that time. He said, you have a great purpose. You make people happy. I thought to myself, that's weird, this person is an acquaintance. I barely knew him. And the fact that he said that, he observed that whenever I was around. That's what he observed is that I make people happy and I was like, okay. So thank you for that reminder.

My wife is a great reminder of who I am and why I should really love myself. She always reminds me it's okay to not be ashamed of being my happy, goofy, cheesy, cornball self, and she posted a few Facebook posts about my birthday. I just wanted to share what she said.

She said, today's my guy's birthday. So I want to tell you a little bit why I love this picture of him and why I love him so much. First the picture I love this genuine cheesy smile. In fact, I like making him laugh as much as I can because I love seeing it so much. Now him first, he's the kind of guy who has empathy for everyone, even including characters on a show or movie. Often while we're watching something, he'll say, oh, that's horrible or poor thing, that's so terrible. He's particularly protective of women and hates to see men be disrespectful of them. I think I can thank his mama for that. Yes, my mama raised me to be a gentleman. He really loves people and really cares about their feelings and what happens to them. Second, he loves adventure. He's always up for whatever life brings and always has the best attitude about the bad things. Third, he has big dreams and isn't afraid to go after them and work hard at them. He works really hard between school and work and always strives for excellence. I noticed and admire that more than he knows.

And the second post she shared. It was a picture of me when I was four or five years old. And I was smiling really big and really cheesy. And my cousin, Dahni, who was blowing out her candles for her 18 birthday party, my wife says, it's my honey's birthday, so I get to spoil him and brag about him. Thanks Dahni for the collage that I stole. I love all these pics, but my favorite is what of him has a little one at his cousin's birthday because that face that huge, big smile while he watches someone else enjoy their birthday. It speaks volumes about his nature. He's the kind of guy who gets so excited for good things happening to other people. He's the kind of guy who loves life, who is happy just to be anywhere. He's the kind of guy who sees good in everyone and everything, and he's the kind of guy who's so full of love, it's bursting out of him.

So I'm really, really grateful for my wife and, you know, reminding me about that because, I need that, I need to be reminded that it's okay to be me and it's okay to just be loving and just, and just accept that and just be who I am.

Alright, and the last reminder that's really important to me is my patriarchal blessing. It was given to me when I was 18 years young. So in the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we were given a special blessing that is tailor made for each person to help guide them in their lives, by a special person called a patriarch.

Now this patriarch didn't know me, but through his divine inspiration from God, he said these words about my divine character and personality that came from before this earth. It was about my spirit, the person I truly am. And if you don't mind LeAnn, I'd like to share that a little bit with you because you know, I talked about being a child of God. Is that okay? Absolutely.

Alright, so he said, and I'm 18, I've never met this guy, and this is the first time. And he said these words after he prayed, he said you are a stalwart spirit. You are to lift up the sick, afflicted, down trodden, and the weak, and those who are struggling with the trials of life. You have been blessed with a warm, friendly spirit and personality that can relate well with everyone. You have the ability to communicate effectively and make friends very easily use these attributes in giving yourself in service to others.

So LeAnn, I'm so sorry. I feel like I'm talking way too much about myself. I hope I'm not coming off too much of a bragger, but I guess the short answer to the question that you had is I love that I'm a happy-go-lucky cheesy, loving, affectionate, goofball who loves to make others happy, especially my elders. I love that about myself.

Hmm. I love that about you too, and that you radiate love, and I'm so glad you shared that with us. So beautiful. Awesome. Alright, before I ask you, the last question, tell us where the audience can reach you, how can they follow you or whatever. And I'll also put this information in the show notes, but if you just want to highlight a couple of things.

Sure, not a problem. So you can find me primarily on Facebook. I have my actress page on there. If you just look up Tupua Ainu'u actor. I also have my Cousin T Entertainment, my business on there as well. If you put Cousin T Entertainment on Facebook search, you'll see right away. It has a feather and it'll show my wife and I on the cover page.

You can also find my wife and I at Team TuCosa. We're a singing duo. You can hear us sing some of our songs on there. And as far as acting, you can go to my IMDV page to see what I've done so far. I'm also on Tiktok and I'm also on Instagram. So I think that's plenty of forums where you can find me.

Exactly, we can find you just about everywhere. I love it. That's awesome. Alright, so the last question, what is your favorite question or quote about love?

Yes. My favorite quote is, "Where there is love, there is life." And it's by Mahatma Gandhi. And I really love that because when you love something, you breathe so much life into it and whatever you do, you know, and excellence will follow, you know, perfection, meaning your absolute best effort will happen and you will be successful. But most importantly, you will be happy.

Hmm, something to think about. Thank you Tupua, for sharing your tidbits of love with us. Have a good one y'all ~ and here's to love! Aloha. You're very welcome.

If you would like to become an expert at loving yourself, check out my Lovin Me Program at leannaustin.com

How do you like your eggs?

You're listening to the Love Tidbits Podcast, where you'll discover a small, tasty, delightful, bite-sized tidbit of love. I'm your host, LeAnn Austin

Hey y'all, welcome to Love Tidbits, episode number seven: Your Favorite Egg

I'm a big Julia Roberts fan. And some of you may remember the movie Runaway Bride, where Julia, acting as Maggie, would decide what kind of egg she liked based on the guy she was dating at the time. Whatever kind of eggs he liked, would then become what she liked. Julia/Maggie didn't even know what kind of eggs she liked because she was always doing what, whoever she was dating, wanted to do or what they liked. Soon she forgot what she really liked.

Well, this came up recently in my Lovin Me Program, when a member realized she was doing something because she thought it would make someone else happy, but it wasn't what she wanted at all. I noticed I used to do this with my boys, when we were picking where we'd go out to eat. I'd always go where they wanted to go, and I rarely went where I wanted to go. Which is fine sometimes, but it is also okay, and loving to ourselves, when we do what we want.

So just a few questions to ask yourself:

Have you ever said yes, when you really wanted to say no?

Do you tell little lies to avoid hurt feelings or to smooth things over?

Do you apologize often, and for things you have no control over?

Do you do things for others so they will like you?

Do you pretend to agree with people, even though you feel differently?

Do you neglect your own needs in order to do things for others?

Do you worry about what other people might think?

Or do you fill your schedule with activities that you think other people want you to do?

This is called people pleasing y'all, and it isn't love at all. It's actually lying, lying to yourself and lying to others. When we continue pushing our own needs to the side, it makes it hard to acknowledge them and recognize what we really feel and what we love.

Sometimes loving is saying no. Loving is recognizing what is true for you and honoring that. Love is not at your own expense. Now that doesn't mean we don't choose to do things we don't necessarily want for others, but we do it from love, not from lying.

One of my favorite quotes by Lisa TerKeurst says, "Whenever you say yes to something, there is less of you for something else, make sure your yes is worth the less." Hmmm, something to think about.

Have a good one y'all and here's to love. If you're enjoying this podcast, please leave a review to help others also hear tidbits of love.

If you would like to become an expert at loving yourself, check out my Lovin Me Program at leannaustin.com

If you want to finish things...embrace what?

You're listening to the Love Tidbits Podcast, where you'll discover a small, tasty, delightful, bite-sized tidbit of love. I'm your host, LeAnn Austin

Hey y'all, welcome to Love Tidbits, episode number six: Finish

I recently completed a book called Finish by Jon Acuff. Highly recommend this book, and he also has a podcast called "all it takes is a goal".

Well, as you can probably guess the book was about finishing, and most of us don't have a problem starting things. We've started things, lots of things, but we don't always finish. So, Jon tells us how to finish. He said, "the people who increased their progress dramatically were those that took the pressure off, those that did away with crippling perfectionism that caused people to quit their goals. The less that people aimed for perfect, the more productive they became." He tells us embrace imperfection. That's it. If we want to finish, we want to embrace not being perfect.

So I want to share his four perfectionism lies as well as his secrets to finish. First one, quit if it isn't perfect. So you have a goal, you're doing your goal, and then you don't, then you mess it up per se. Well the secret to finishing is the day after you mess it up. When you go the next day and say ugh, well I'm out, I didn't do it. I ate all the things. I didn't run. I didn't do whatever it is your goal is. I didn't walk. I didn't get together with that person. The day after you weren't perfect, is where a lot of people stop. They're like, oh, I wasn't perfect, I'm done. Instead, the day after perfect, hmmm, k, didn't do what I had planned. That's all right. I'll try something else. I'll learn from that. So that's our first one. We don't have to quit if it isn't perfect.

Number two, your goal should be bigger. For whatever reason, maybe it's like, supersizing things, we think we should have this ginormous goal, that we should make this elaborate thing, or we should do this major event. Why? What if instead of making our goals so big, the secret to finishing them is to cut the goal in half. Take whatever goal we have and cut it in half. If you can't cut your goal in half, Jon suggests double the timeline, make it take double the time you thought it would. Our goals don't have to be big, and if we're going to finish them, it's very helpful when we make them bite sized.

So number three, perfectionism lie: you can do it all. Well, guess what folks, no one can do it all. Sometimes we think we can, and sometimes we try and cram everything into every second, but we can't do it all. So the secret to finishing is choosing what to bomb. What are you not going to do? Be intentional. Hey, I might not spend time with you so and so, because I'm working on this. I may not get this thing done because I have something else that is more important to me. I can't do everything, so I'm going to hone in on the things that I really want to finish, and that's what I'm going to do. So choose what to bomb. You can't do it all.

And the fourth perfectionism lie: Fun doesn't count, if you're having fun, it doesn't count when you're doing a goal. Completely not true. We want to have fun, whatever we're doing, we want to have fun and to finishing our goals, if we're having fun, we'll finish them.

So be thinking about that, as you have things that you're finishing. What are the lies and what are the secrets to finishing your goals? Embrace imperfection.

One of my favorite quotes from Jon's book Finish says, "Developing tolerance for imperfection is the key factor in turning chronic starters into consistent finishers." Hmmm, something to think about.

Have a good one y'all, and here's to love!

If you would like to become an expert at loving yourself, check out my Lovin Me Program at leannaustin.com