Another roleplay with me calling people on their shitty explanations of why God decided to take my daughter. 

The Pioneers Had it Worse.

At least . . .

You need to learn a lesson.

What happened when I went back to church one Sunday in April with my daughter (in California)?

Me roleplaying with what I think people are saying about me and how I'd respond. From "Wheat/Tares" to "Didn't believe in God enough" to "Wanted to sin," and "Offended." All the usual.

As I sift through memories and feelings, I find a long list of things I love about Mormonism. And a series of things I have rejected.

I miss so much about Mormonism and the Mormon community. At some point I hope I can do a better job of negotiating those relationships, but for now, I can't figure out how to explain what hurts me in a way that makes me be less hurt. And possibly, I also can't stop hurting them.

More thoughts on various stages of being Mormon and female and why it matters to have women in authority positions quoted and talked about to little girls and also women.

Riffing off of Thomas Merton in "Seeds of Contemplation," I talk about the "anima" and the "animus" of the human self and what God is, above and around that. Also why both the rational and emotional parts of us are valuable and necessary, and why sometimes Mormonism feels to me like it only values the rational.

Musing on how much I've changed, how much I've stayed the same, and why we feel the need to insist on being the same as if it's some badge of honor.

About my roller coaster of emotions over the POX reversal, and about where we need to go to fully embrace the body of Christ.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/13-ways-to-protest-the-ne_b_8629388

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/could-god-be-gay_b_7701624

Me talking about Mormon funerals, promises that "they're in a better place" and "you'll see them again," why I don't believe in that kind of after-life because it feels like it cheapens this life, and maybe what kind of after-life I do believe in.