During the toddler years, doctors in the NICU told us to expect developmental delays with the twins because they were preemies. Later, we found out that Andy's speech delay was very common among preemies. The limited resources in our areas created a serious challenge. I also had to learn to advocate for my child because I knew that whatever challenge any of my kids might have, we would prevail if we worked on it as a family.

The "teen contract," for us, defines the expectations that we have for our kids, their responsibilities, and the positive and negative consequences of the actions they take. It helps them understand that they get more responsibility as they get more freedom. And that is the key: BALANCE. It helps us in the transition of power and we get to step back and relax a bit as they get more power. After all, our goal is to help them become self-sufficient adults who can create happy lives for themselves.

My daughter wanted to know if adulting ever gets any easier. And the answer is, "No." But being a self-sufficient, responsible person always leads to more freedom and happiness. We have to understand, though, that with more freedom also comes more responsibility. We have to be willing to accept our mistakes and learn from those mistakes.

It's easy to get trapped by our kids' inflated opinion of themselves. In their naivete, they ask for equality. But what they really want is freedom. They don't understand that with freedom comes responsibility, and they're not ready for ADULT responsibility! They can't contribute equally to the burdens and challenges that a family entails. So no, they are not our equals! My husband and I remain the captain of S. S. Family!

I found out that I had done my parenting job way too well when my husband and I went back to the Caribbean. My kids were totally okay without me. I'm failing Adulting for Older Moms! I'm not okay with how well they're doing! I felt hurt, abandoned, and miserable. Talk about childhood baggage on my part, but knowing I have that baggage allows me to rein in my feelings and be a good mom. Mother like a woman who wants to have a good relationship with her children when they become adults!

When my husband and I went back to our Caribbean home without the kids, I realized this was an opportunity to reconnect with him. Sitting by the pool with him while watching the sunset made me go back to the beginning of our relationship. I realized how perfect he was and is for me. After sixteen years of ups and downs, I looked at him, and I thought I could really be happy with this man for the rest of my life.

This is our sixteenth year of marriage, my husband and I. And some days, some months, some weeks, it seems like we're just going through motions, and I wonder... Don't we love each other anymore? But it's ridiculous! I do know that we love each other. I suppose that all marriages go through some blah periods, but we do love each other. I can't imagine my life without him.

When I was a teen, I always asked my grandmother, "How do you know when you meet the one?" Her answer was always, "You'll know when it happens." She was right! I fell in love with Michael at first sight and allowed that feeling to flourish and overcome many unexpected challenges. Sixteen years later, I still can't believe we got married after knowing each other only six months! Ain't love grand?

I didn't think it was a big deal when my child was diagnosed with ADHD. I was blissfully ignorant of the challenges laid before use. But, I learned a lot when my child was diagnosed with ADHD. Not just about the disease, but also how to advocate my ADHD superhero and all of my children! It has taught me immensurate patience, unconditional love, flexibility, and adaptability at a whole new level. It has helped me to be a better mom.

Do you ever hear anyone criticize an older dad? No, you don't! It's absolute bullshit to then criticize an older mom. Why do we still do this to one another? Why can't we respect each other's journeys? Some women have even told me I should have made better choices. But sometimes, it wasn't a choice! It was a situation that was out of our control. As women, we should support each other and our choices, and we should know we all have to travel our own journey. Don't give others permission to judge you or question your choices. You're perfect the way you are, and your choices are perfect in their own way.