Move Your Desk

A few months ago my friend Ann told me that I wasn't a nice person. It took me back for a moment, and I was a bit embarassed.

However, it launched us into a conversation about the difference between the meaning behind the words "nice" and "kind." Even if you aren't an etymologist, it is worth finding out the difference.

These two four letter words sound innocent on the surface, but look deeper and they expose the lying, boundary creating or breaching, people pleasing, and toxic positivity that can lurk in each of us, close relationships, churches, schools, family trees, and in government entities.

Ann wrote a book recently called "Quit Being so gosh darn Nice!" She even admitted subsituting "gosh darn" for 'damn" over some concerns about what certain people in her close human orbit would think. And, therein lies the challenge for us all - knowing when to say exactly what you mean (being kind) and massaging the message a bit (being nice) and when and how to discern the difference in approach needed.

Even with a few internet connection issues, we had an interesting discussion about the topic. And, noticed that we all have a mixture of both nice and kind in us... even as we seek out to beome the kindest version of ourselves toward building stronger relationships.

And, please consider it a compliment if I tell you that I don't think you are nice. Listen to find out why.

Podcast available on:

YouTube - https://youtu.be/bvBHmcKtkcE

Podcast Services -https://pod.co/move-your-desk

Book (Amazon) - https://amzn.to/3S5rFPP

Rebecca Jacklin joined the Move Your Desk podcast again to share more insights and wisdom about mental health. I always enjoy our conversations and I think a lot of it has to do with Rebecca's "way of being" which is such an important attribute in her profession. Unfortunately, she can't be my therapist because she is a friend and she is licensed in Texas. But, I highly recommend her for anyone in the lone star state!

In this episode we talk about how to find a therapist, how parents can help children get help for anxiety and ADHD, and some approaches to work with anxiety. We do spend a few minutes discussing suicide as well.

Rebecca went to the University of Houston for graduate work and she is an LMSW (licensed master social worker). Her emphasis is behavioral health. She's also a certified exercise instructor, mental health therapist, and an instructor in something fairly rare (but gaining traction!) - "Parent Management Training."

Rebecca especially enjoys helping individuals, and families, build skills in addressing anxiety, depression, ADHD and more. She's worked in jails, treatment centers, hospitals, schools, and in private settings.

She can be found in Psychology Today at https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/rebecca-jacklin-sugar-land-tx/866642 or on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebecca-jacklin-lmsw-417904130/

You can follow her on Instagram: @rj.thrivingwellness or on Facebook at Thriving Whole Wellness.

Tune in to listen to this episode through your favorite podcast service or YouTube (https://youtu.be/QttttFOF5m4).

"Pay attention to the diagnosis, but ignore the prognosis because that can be very, very wrong" is just one nugget of wisdom from my conversation with David McBee.

David and I have interviewed each other a few times before, but between then and now a new challenge emerged in his life.

Cancer.

So, this was our first chance to talk about what was found in his physical body, what he learned about his own self-worth, how he views "self-help" books now (but, still enjoys reading them), and new territories of personal gratitude for what this life is all about.

Please tune in and listen to his wisdom. And, check out some of David's work:

Books: DJ children's books and book for men called Everyday Lessons Every Day.

Video Interview: Episode 189 on YouTube

How did you get your last job? The one before it? Your first job?

It's worth reflecting on if you are seeking out your next gig now.

I share a few of the ways I got past jobs in this episode. Why? To show that each job came in a different way, and often from unexpected people.

This matters because only applying to specific job openings and waiting for someone to call, might take a while.

If you are not hitting the "apply" button because you don't fit all the criteria, think again. Someone behind the scenes may see one line in your resume that resonates and will give you a call.

That person that you don't think can help, might be the perfect contact... or know the perfect contact that can help you.

Your job right now is just to show up ready to learn and ready to help.

Available through all major podcast services and Youtube at https://youtu.be/cm-i_9Su5Gs

Over the past few weeks, I've had a chance to reflect on this past year as I process my recent layoff.

This episode includes four ideas to consider if you've recently gone through a layoff or if you are seeking to make a change in your work/life.

The four points include:

- Leverage your support group - the family and friends that reach out to help and provide accountability on the journey.

- Do more of what you love - you need to experience more of the positive emotions that serve your spirit.

- Take time to self-assess - what went well, what went wrong, how do you want to show up as you move forward, and what kind of company/work/people do you want to seek next.

- Take time to serve - identify ways to contribute to others lives, in whatever way makes sense for your specific situation.

Podcast Services available through https://pod.co/move-your-desk

#moveyourdesk #podcast #laidoff #layoffs #work #career #workremote #reflection #journaling

A few weeks ago, some of my brothers got online for a discussion about all things men - home, work, goals, frustrations, etc.

The conversation lasted over three hours. I've decided to break out parts of the conversation into separate podcast episodes, with a bit of delayed commentary from me. It's spurred thoughts for future conversations with them and with you.

In this episode, each of them share pieces and parts of their experiences of being laid off or fired.

Podcast Services: https://pod.co/move-your-desk

#laidoff

#career

#workperformance

#workplace

#moveyourdesk

It's been a minute, or a few months, since I've podcasted.

It isn't for lack of things to say. It's just been hard to say them.

But, it's time to return. It's time to stop hiding and start sharing again. Some of you have been in the behind the scenes conversations and know more of the pieces and parts of the journey. And, that's the way it goes most of the time - sharing some of it with the world and keeping some of it out of the public eye.

Still, I'm compelled to share because I promised to share the journey and not just fairytale endings. And, I'm glad some of you are listening and deciding to get sharing your stories and insights as well.

YouTube (Video Version) - https://youtu.be/gFxpAYZilhk

While you are building your dreams, the next best feeling is to help others build theirs, especially if they are a young dreamer.

Right now there is one dream that occupies the mind of a little boy I know. It's the dream to see his favorite building - the Empire State Building.

It's one of those lifelong dreams. The kind that started five weeks ago, but feels like it will never be fulfilled.

Except, it was fulfilled...just this week.

He got to see it, go up in it, and eat pizza outside of it. And, see the New York City skyline. It just took a little time and money (tolls and admission fees!).

It's amazing to track the interests of a young brain. What starts as a love for Mickey Mouse and Lightening McQueen, morphs into learning types of cars, and sizes of America's biggest cities.

Researching cities online led to comparing their sizes and noticing the buildings that filled their skylines. More questions came to mind during the searches - What's the biggest building in the world? How many skyscrapers are in each city? How do they all compare to each other? What's the difference between a skyscraper and a tower?

And, one question that Google has yet to answer - Do buildings have feelings?

Take a listen as this little guy wakes up one morning and shares his insights and questions, while I turn on an audio app and start recording. There's a lot more than he offers here. Notice the data, the math, the thoughts about architecture and engineering, the comparisons, and the history. Plus, a few thoughts about building emotions.

Our brains are amazing. We are born with this capacity. School doesn't do the capabilities we have justice. It's our job to create these learning opportunities for ourselves and those we coach, mentor, or raise up.

Listening to this episode (and other recordings I'm capturing from a tiny person brain) reminds me that no matter what we have going on in our lives, it is worth taking time to pursue something we love with intensity. It brings us joy and more knowledge. It also brings insights and joy to those that get to watch us learn and grow. And, some of the bystanders will be compelled to step up and help your dreams come true. Sometimes in faster time that you can imagine.

"Do Beautiful"

This is a phrase that I've been hearing a lot at work. It sounded good at first, and then it started to annoy me. Especially when it seemed to replace doing the hard work of creating solid content, sharing good data, and thoughtfully analyzing and providing solutions.

However, I've been having a change of heart. A change of heart that is coming about as I've discovered my personal pain related to this topic. And, through the discomfort I'm learning to make some changes to improve myself and show up better for those that I am here to serve.

This episode is for those that put taking care of their personal appearance and health a little lower on the personal priority list. And, think that is ok.

Attractiveness matters. Self care matters. Maybe the divas are on to something with making this part of life a priority.

For me, it's uncomfortable to talk about these topics. But, I'm stepping into the discomfort and hopeful that some of you will too.

The journey will take time. It will take money. It will take effort. The same level of effort that some of us put into our degrees, certifications, and other learning.

Some of us are lucky to have family and friends that help us on the journey - providing tips, insights, and sometimes gift certificates, to help us get a head start on taking care of this vessel that helps us offer up our best work.

It's hard to know when to speak up, especially when it involves sharing something you feel compelled to share to someone that has perceived, or very real, power above and beyond your own.

I've certainly had my fair share of mistakes in this area. Now, I'm learning the balance of speaking up and remaining silent. It's art, science, and a lot of self-monitoring.

Still, this past few weeks I witnessed people that were willing to speak truth to power. Some were confident as they took the chance. Others came to the experience with great anxiety, fear of consequences, and a trembling voice.

All made a difference in their own unique way. And, most importantly they took a risk to say what needed to be said at the right moment, to the right people, and in the right way.

Some of these risks will pay off. Some will be learning moments to prepare for future opportunities.

Keep following the nudges that come to your mind. You may be the one person that needs to deliver the message.