Mr Morton's Barmy Book of Bonkers Bits: Funny Stories for Kids

Alfie finds a magic lamp behind the skate ramp at the rec. It is dented, dull, and smells faintly of old socks and disappointment. Out pops a blue genie who speaks only in rhyme and offers three wishes. This should be brilliant. This should be the best day ever.

Then Ben starts asking questions.

What currency? Which bank? Old pounds or new pounds? Cash or transfer? What about fraud detection? What about inflation? Every answer creates ten more questions. The wish collapses under its own logic before it even begins.

This funny bedtime story for kids spirals through increasingly desperate wishes. World peace. Best at football. Fame. Happiness. No weapons. Climate change fixed. King of the world. The perfect wish. Ben finds problems with every single one. Consequences. Loopholes. Unintended disasters. Alfie cannot fix them fast enough. The genie watches sadly as three hundred years of experience tells him exactly how this ends.

What follows is one of the cleverest fun kids stories about overthinking, fear of consequences, and what happens when you try to control everything. Children who love logical puzzles will recognize themselves in Ben. Kids who just want things to work will feel Alfie's mounting frustration. And the genie's bittersweet ending lands somewhere unexpectedly moving for a story about magical wishes gone wrong.

This kids storytelling podcast episode is for families who appreciate wit alongside warmth. For children who like their bedtime stories for children to be clever without showing off. For parents who want audio stories that spark conversation about choices and consequences without feeling like homework. The genie speaks only in rhyme throughout, which is a particular delight, and his final monologue alone in the darkness is genuinely poignant.

Perfect for car journeys when older kids need something that rewards attention, for bedtime story podcast listening when you want something thoughtful, or for family listening that makes everyone think while they smile. This is fun children's stories with philosophical depth hidden inside the comedy. A calming bedtime story that builds chaos then lands somewhere quietly sad and true.

More stories at MrMortonsBarmyBook.com.

Episode length: approximately 21 minutes
Ages: 4 to 400 (though older kids will catch more of the logic spirals)
Best enjoyed: bedtime, car journeys, moments when you want to think and laugh

Press play. Alfie has just rubbed the lamp. The genie has just appeared. Ben has just opened his mouth. Nothing will ever be the same.

The Boy Who Couldn't Stop Hiccupping – a kids storytelling podcast adventure

Oliver Pemberton's hiccups aren’t just hiccups, they are full-on, ceiling-scraping, gravity-defying launches that turn his life into a bouncing, chaotic spectacle. From flying toast to collapsing bookshelves, even the cat cannot escape the mayhem. Nothing and no one can stop him. That is, until Maestro Magnifico realises Oliver's hiccups are musical perfection in B flat.

Join Oliver as his involuntary percussive antics transform the school talent show into a full-blown symphony of laughter, chaos and unexpected brilliance. Hiccups, piano crashes, xylophones and a bit of accidental jazz combine in an 18-minute story that proves sometimes your quirks are your superpowers.

• Episode length: approximately 18 minutes
• Ages: 5 to 500
• Best enjoyed: breakfast chaos, afternoon laughter or any moment that could use a bouncing boy in B flat

Press play and discover how hiccups can make music, mayhem and memories in this hilariously chaotic kids storytelling podcast.

Explore more barmy adventures at MrMortonsBarmyBook.com.

The Sleeping Beauty Who Wouldn't Wake Up – a kids storytelling podcast adventure

Princess Petunia has been perfectly fake-snoring for three whole months, and life in the castle is… delightfully inconvenient. From princes with cymbals, bagpipes, and chickens, to interpretive dances and questionable tickling attempts, every effort to wake her has spectacularly failed.

Enter Prince Humphrey, who does the unthinkable: he climbs into her bed and falls asleep. Chaos ensues. Snoring shakes chandeliers, pillows fly, marbles roll, and Petunia discovers that sometimes, waking a prince isn’t about magic—it’s about managing utter absurdity. Through explosions of feathers, mechanical awakening machines, and kingdom-wide mischief, Petunia realises being awake can be infinitely more entertaining than being cursed.

Kids and grown-ups alike will laugh, gasp, and cheer through this 16-minute story of royal misadventures, chaotic ingenuity, and a princess who refuses to be ordinary.

• Episode length: ~16 minutes
• Ages: 5–500
• Best enjoyed: bedtime, rainy afternoons, or any moment craving chaotic hilarity

Press play and join Princess Petunia, Prince Humphrey, a castle full of mischief, and a very clever cat in a kids storytelling podcast full of snoring, chaos, and laughter.

Discover more bonkers tales at MrMortonsBarmyBook.com.

Mr Morton's Barmy Book of Bonkers Bits: The Second Hand Shop Next Door

Next door to Mr Morton's bookshop was a shop that confused everyone. It did not sell lamps or chairs or pre loved trousers. It sold seconds. Tickable, gleaming, magical seconds that could stretch a moment, save a lost opportunity, or let Lily, a girl who was always late, say the words she meant properly.

Lily discovers the power of seconds, using them to tie shoelaces, finish homework and savour her favourite bits of books. But when too many seconds are used at once, time behaves strangely and Lily must learn that the best moments are the ones that make time irrelevant. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just be in it, not try to control it.

Runtime: Approximately 14 minutes

Theme: Time, patience and learning to savour the moment

Join Shaun Morton for a whimsical and warm tale of magic, chaos and discovering that sometimes the best seconds are the ones you do not try to hold onto. Listen now and lose yourself in the story.

Discover more wonderfully bonkers stories at MrMortonsBarmyBook.com.

Mr Morton's Barmy Book of Bonkers Bits: The Thing That Became Nothing

Tommy’s dad wanted them to have a thing. A proper father and son thing. The only problem was that every hobby Tommy tried, football, skateboarding, guitar, chess, birdwatching, origami, was quickly taken over by Dad’s enthusiasm, expertise and far too much equipment. Soon nothing Tommy liked was left untouched.

Then came an idea. If Dad ruined everything Tommy liked, maybe Tommy could like what Dad liked. What followed was the Great Interest War. Whiteboards, corkboards, timelines, PowerPoints about PowerPoints and a feedback loop of love and lunacy transformed the house into a labyrinth of obsession.

Finally, utterly exhausted, they collapsed together on the sofa. No projects. No expertise. No need to explain anything. Just together. Every Saturday. Sofa. Rubbish telly. Nothing. Just them.

Runtime: Approximately 12 minutes

Theme: Being together matters more than doing things together

Join Shaun Morton for this warm, whimsical story of family, chaos and finding the joy in doing nothing together. Listen now and see how sometimes the simplest thing can be the most important thing.

Discover more wonderfully bonkers stories at MrMortonsBarmyBook.com.

Mr Morton's Barmy Book of Bonkers Bits: The Bicycles That Wouldn't Work

When Joe and Sam save up for the perfect bicycle, nothing goes to plan. Rain, broken tyres, and a tea shop with impossible biscuits turn an ordinary day into a delightfully absurd adventure. With quick thinking, a bit of luck, and a biscuit acting as a wheel, the boys discover that ingenuity and friendship can turn disaster into triumph.

Runtime: Approximately 9 minutes

Theme: Adventure, problem solving and seeing the extraordinary in the ordinary

Join Shaun Morton for a playful, whimsical story full of clever twists, ridiculous solutions and plenty of laughs. Listen now and enjoy a tale where biscuits become heroes and creativity saves the day.

Discover more wonderfully bonkers stories at MrMortonsBarmyBook.com.

Mr Morton's Barmy Book of Bonkers Bits: The Wolf Who Couldn't Help Himself

Winston Wolf is Wibbleton Way’s fiercest food critic. One sniff or bite from him and a restaurant is doomed. When three new pig-run eateries open simultaneously, chaos erupts, kitchens catch fire, and recipes go spectacularly wrong. But Winston cannot resist helping, sneaking in at night to save the food while the pigs remain blissfully clueless.

Runtime: Approximately 18 minutes

Theme: Comedy, culinary disaster, clever problem solving

Join Shaun Morton for a theatrical, laugh-out-loud tale of absurdity, chaos, and heroic cooking. A story where pigs are convinced they are geniuses, the wolf is quietly brilliant, and disasters turn deliciously entertaining.

Discover more wonderfully bonkers stories at MrMortonsBarmyBook.com.

Penelope Puddleworth wakes up eight feet tall and absolutely perfect—and quickly discovers that being giant is not all it’s cracked up to be. The bigger she is, the harder it is to get through doorways, play games, or keep her head out of the ceiling. And when she starts telling the truth about everyone’s mistakes, she shrinks—fast.

From playground mishaps to magical shrinking and growing, Penelope learns the very important lesson that being perfectly giant, or tiny, is far less fun than being ordinary. Only by genuinely noticing the good in others does she find the perfect height for friends, fun, and surviving Year Six.

• Episode length: ~13 minutes
• Ages: 4–400
• Best enjoyed: bedtime, car journeys, or any time you want absurd humour and magical chaos

Press play. Join Penelope as she towers over—and then shrinks beneath—her classmates, discovering that the best adventures happen when you’re exactly where the fun is. Ridiculous, warm, and delightfully bonkers.

More outrageous tales at MrMortonsBarmyBook.com.

In a wonky kitchen at the end of Wobble Street, Wendy Wobblewand brews potions her own way: messy, magical, and utterly bonkers. When a curious neighbour sneaks in to help, they accidentally create a Bonkerfluff—a sparkly, seventeen-legged creature that brings chaos, joy, and a lot of very confused dancing teapots.

From bouncing buttons to singing teapots, a teabag that glows in the dark, and the most unpredictable kitchen in the neighbourhood, Wendy discovers that the best potions happen when you ignore the rules and embrace the magic of fun. Expect outrageous humour, magical mayhem, and heartwarming surprises for everyone who loves a bit of chaos with their storytelling.

• Episode length: ~11 minutes
• Ages: 4–400
• Best enjoyed: bedtime, car journeys, or anytime you want ridiculous, magical fun

Press play. Join Wendy, Timothy, and the Bonkerfluffs in a kids storytelling podcast full of chaos, laughter, and magic that goes absolutely everywhere. Ridiculous, warm, and wonderfully barmy.

More outrageous tales at MrMortonsBarmyBook.com.

Mrs Puddifoot does not care for New Year's Eve. It is cold, loud, and full of people shouting at the sky as if the sky has done something personal. Mrs Puddifoot would much rather stay indoors with a kettle, a biscuit, and a firm commitment to letting the year change without her involvement.

Unfortunately, the next year has other plans.

Because a polite stranger appears on her doorstep and claims, in the calm voice of someone asking for directions, that he is early for the new year. Not early for a party. Early for the year itself. He apologises for the inconvenience and asks if he might wait on the doorstep until midnight when he can officially begin.

Mrs Puddifoot stares at him. The stranger smiles pleasantly and produces a thermos of tea.

And then, as if this is perfectly normal, more people begin to arrive. Quiet people. Cheerful people. Determined people. All forming a queue that starts at Mrs Puddifoot's front door and stretches through the town, up the hill, and steadily towards midnight. They are queuing for the new year like it is a bus service or a bakery opening.

Mrs Puddifoot does not want a queue. Mrs Puddifoot does not want visitors. Mrs Puddifoot definitely does not want to be responsible for organising the next year like it is a community event she accidentally volunteered to host.

So she does the only sensible thing. She tries to ignore it. She closes the curtains. She makes herself tea. She sits in her armchair with a book and pretends nothing unusual is happening outside.

This becomes increasingly difficult when the queue begins to develop its own mood, its own rules, and its own gentle stubbornness. There are murmured resolutions. There is the peculiar comfort of standing near strangers who are all waiting for the same moment. There is hope mixed with nervousness, all wrapped up in a line of people who have decided that this year, they are not going to let it just happen to them.

Eventually, Mrs Puddifoot opens the door. Not because she wants to join in. But because ignoring something does not make it go away, and sometimes the thing you are avoiding is actually the thing you need. What follows is a gentle, bonkers journey through conversations with people waiting for change, hoping for better, and queuing politely because that is what you do when something important is about to begin.

This is a cosy bedtime story that is funny in a quiet way, magical in a slightly odd way, and warm in the way tired parents need. Children will enjoy the absurd idea of queuing for a year, the odd characters who appear, and the soft sense of something special unfolding. Grown ups will recognise the feeling underneath. That worry about missing your moment. That hope that maybe this time you will join in instead of watching from the doorway.

Perfect for family listening on winter evenings, for after school wind down, or at bedtime when you want audio stories for children that settle gently. If you are searching for funny bedtime stories for kids with warmth, a kids storytelling podcast that feels thoughtful, and wholesome humour that lands soft, this queue is waiting.

Mr Morton's Barmy Book of Bonkers Bits is wholesome family storytelling with a bonkers twist. Performance driven, kind hearted, and never mean.

Episode length: approximately 12 minutes
Ages: 4 to 400
Best enjoyed: bedtime, car journeys, after school wind down

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