This week I jumped to hit record after a client and I pulled out some good nuggets about control. Often, when we automatically go to scroll, we’re not really there for the content (the things we watch, read and listen to). We’re there for the process and the associated feeling (numbing and subconsciously trying to control)

We’re not honest with ourselves (and our therapists!) about our verbs

We tell ourselves we are researching, when actually we are comparing

We say we are relaxing, when actually we are numbing

We say we are checking when actually we are distracting

Instead of surrendering to the fact that we ultimately can’t control things like:

How our children behave (they have free will)

How many followers we will get

How much money we will make

It feels incredibly uncomfortable to surrender so staying with the illusion of control can become a breeding ground for addiction. We ultimately numb, distract, avoid and control things to avoid pain.

Today, I'll share some compassionate tools you can use to recognise when you're using scrolling and checking as a way of controlling anxiety and stress

Social Media Detox for Mums now on sale! with the 21 day online course soon to follow

Booktopia

Angus & Robertson

Amazon Australia

Amazon US & REST OF THE WORLD

Book Depository for UK/EUROPE

Get a copy of my birth trauma book: https://amzn.to/3cAuvfu

If you'd like to follow along my slow living journey on my YouTube channel 

I also send a weekly email and have old school-style pen pals rather than use social media :)

My Website: https://doctorerin.com.au/

Mental health courses I teach: https://doctorerin.com.au/shop

Inquiries: [email protected]

This is the one I recorded then deleted three times. Then I recorded it, but decided I didn’t want to publish. I went ahead and wrote a few other posts instead, and look, it would be absolutely fine if I never shared it with the world. But then it nagged at me.

In reading The Tools by Phil Stutz (go watch the Netflix documentary, Stutz if you haven’t yet, it’s brilliant) and Barry Michels, a passage jumped out at me:

‘There is a way to find it [self belief]; it involves a profound secret. What appears to be a weak and inferior Shadow is really the conduit for a higher force- and it’s only this higher force that gives us enduring self-worth’

So, I share this today so that someone else (whether they ever share it with me or not) has the sense of “oh thank God I’m not alone. I don’t have to be perfect”

If you’re having a moment where a negative feeling isn’t passing maybe what you need is to just sit with it.

It’s ok to just sit in the feelings and have compassion for yourself that they are there, rather than trying to fix them or get rid of them.

Social Media Detox for Mums now on sale! with the 21 day online course soon to follow

Booktopia

Angus & Robertson

Amazon Australia

Amazon US & REST OF THE WORLD

Book Depository for UK/EUROPE

Get a copy of my birth trauma book: https://amzn.to/3cAuvfu

If you'd like to follow along my slow living journey on my YouTube channel 

I also send a weekly email and have old school-style pen pals rather than use social media :)

My Website: https://doctorerin.com.au/

Mental health courses I teach: https://doctorerin.com.au/shop

Inquiries: [email protected]

Today I share a little peak inside the 21 day social media detox course I'm working on. This activity will challenge you to try monotasking - listening to an album from beginning to end WITHOUT doing anything else at the same time. Just listening, not judging, just noticing. When I fist tried this for myself it was embarrassingly much harder than I thought it would be. The urge to pick up my phone or do something else was strong, but I think this helps us with our focus. Just one thing at a time helps the nervous system and brain relax. 

Music nerd detour...

Rick Beato has a YouTube channel where he breaks down popular songs in a really satisfyingly nerdy way, if you're interested.

This is his long interview with Billy Corgan. Siamese Dream is probably one of my go-to sit down and listen from start to finish albums, so it was very satisfying to learn how it was produced.

I'd love to hear if you gave this challenge a try, and what your go-to albums are :)

Social Media Detox for Mums now on sale! with the 21 day online course soon to follow

Booktopia 

Angus & Robertson 

Amazon Australia

Amazon US & REST OF THE WORLD

Book Depository for UK/EUROPE

Get a copy of my birth trauma book: https://amzn.to/3cAuvfu

If you'd like to follow along my slow living journey on my YouTube channel 

I also send a weekly email and have old school-style pen pals rather than use social media :)

My Website: https://doctorerin.com.au/

Mental health courses I teach: https://doctorerin.com.au/shop

Inquiries: [email protected]

I attempt to summarize my new book, social media detox for mums in less than 10 minutes. A brief overview of what you can expect to find in the chapters and what I hope will be the major takeaways from this book.

Pre orders for my new book, Social Media Detox for Mums is open!

Booktopia (21% off)

Angus & Robertson (20% off)

Amazon Australia

Amazon US & REST OF THE WORLD

Book Depository for UK/EUROPE

Get a copy of my birth trauma book: https://amzn.to/3cAuvfu

If you'd like to follow along my slow living journey on my YouTube channel 

I also send a weekly email and have old school-style pen pals rather than use social media :)

My Website: https://doctorerin.com.au/

Mental health courses I teach: https://doctorerin.com.au/shop

Inquiries: [email protected]

I take you through a handful of the books that have impacted me in some way along this motherhood journey. Most are not even parenting books per se - there were so many I could include, but ultimately I chose ones that inform my work and philosophy on life, and even a few that have pictures. 

Show notes here allows limited space, so for the full title list, head to my blog

Pre orders for my new book, Social Media Detox for Mums is open!

Booktopia (21% off)

Angus & Robertson (20% off)

Amazon Australia

Amazon US & REST OF THE WORLD

Book Depository for UK/EUROPE

Get a copy of my birth trauma book: https://amzn.to/3cAuvfu

If you'd like to follow along my slow living journey on my YouTube channel 

I also send a weekly email and have old school-style pen pals rather than use social media :)

My Website: https://doctorerin.com.au/

Mental health courses I teach: https://doctorerin.com.au/shop

Inquiries: [email protected]

When getting up earlier, staying up later, or working when kids nap isn't an option...

I'm currently home with my kids for school holidays, but I've still got work to get done (I've got a book coming out afterall!). In this episode I share a little about how I've gotten things done while the kids are around. It's not perfect. It doesn't always pan out, and yes, to be honest sometimes it feels like we're back in lockdown, but hopefully these suggestions help. 

This podcast episode was recorded as part of a video series on my YouTube channel 

Pre orders for my new book, Social Media Detox for Mums is open! It's currently part of Booktopia's New Year, New You promo

Booktopia (21% off)

Angus & Robertson (20% off)

Amazon Australia

Amazon US & REST OF THE WORLD

Book Depository for UK/EUROPE

Get a copy of my birth trauma book: https://amzn.to/3cAuvfu

If you'd like to follow along my slow living journey on my YouTube channel 

I also send a weekly email and have old school-style pen pals rather than use social media :)

My Website: https://doctorerin.com.au/

Mental health courses I teach: https://doctorerin.com.au/shop

Inquiries: [email protected]

5 tools to cope with overstimulation. Brene Brown says we cannot selectively numb, and yet we still try it out multiple times a day. Even an amoeba in a petri dish will move away to avoid a toxin. We all avoid feeling pain. When we pick up our phones for a quick check or a quick scroll, it’s often to avoid pain. To distract from the overstimulation of mothering.

Pre orders for my new book, Social Media Detox for Mums is open!

Booktopia (21% off)

Angus & Robertson (20% off)

Amazon Australia

Amazon US & REST OF THE WORLD

Book Depository for UK/EUROPE

Get a copy of my birth trauma book: https://amzn.to/3cAuvfu

If you'd like to follow along my slow living journey on my YouTube channel 

I also send a weekly email and have old school-style pen pals rather than use social media :)

My Website: https://doctorerin.com.au/

Mental health courses I teach: https://doctorerin.com.au/shop

Inquiries: [email protected]

Staying in your body and feeling grounded when you're stressed is hard! My gift to you over this holiday season is some tools to stay grounded and keep your nervous system supported. This particular episode makes more sense with the visuals, so head to my YouTube channel if you want to see me demonstrate the tools

Pre orders for my new book, Social Media Detox for Mums is open!

Booktopia (21% off)

Angus & Robertson (20% off)

Amazon Australia

Amazon US & REST OF THE WORLD

Book Depository for UK/EUROPE

Get a copy of my birth trauma book: https://amzn.to/3cAuvfu

If you'd like to follow along my slow living journey on my YouTube channel 

I also send a weekly email and have old school-style pen pals rather than use social media :)

My Website: https://doctorerin.com.au/

Mental health courses I teach: https://doctorerin.com.au/shop

Inquiries: [email protected]

Is it true that when you heal the trauma you stop some of your trauma reactions? 

Not necessarily!

Sometimes, in addition to managing stress and dealing with out traumas, we need pattern interrupters. AKA tools to help undo some automatic behaviours. Maybe you come from a family of yellers and it's become an ingrained, automatic behaviour? As much as you want to stop, it keeps creeping in? If you've struggled with mum rage then this tool I'll share might be useful for you. 

Pre orders for my new book, Social Media Detox for Mums is open!

Booktopia (21% off)

Angus & Robertson (20% off)

Amazon Australia

Amazon US & REST OF THE WORLD

Book Depository for UK/EUROPE

Get a copy of my birth trauma book: https://amzn.to/3cAuvfu

If you'd like to follow along my slow living journey on my YouTube channel 

I also send a weekly email and have old school-style pen pals rather than use social media :)

My Website: https://doctorerin.com.au/

Mental health courses I teach: https://doctorerin.com.au/shop

Inquiries: [email protected]

A tool to use when you're having one of those days (or many of those days!) where you just feel like you're failing at motherhood. Feeling capable and confident is a practise! 

Pre orders for my new book, Social Media Detox for Mums is open!

Booktopia (21% off)

Angus & Robertson (20% off)

Amazon Australia

Amazon US & REST OF THE WORLD

Book Depository for UK/EUROPE

Get a copy of my birth trauma book: https://amzn.to/3cAuvfu 

If you'd like to follow along my slow living journey on my YouTube channel  

I also send a weekly email and have old school-style pen pals rather than use social media :) 

My Website: https://doctorerin.com.au/ 

Mental health courses I teach: https://doctorerin.com.au/shop 

Inquiries: [email protected]