Musings w/Musings

Perspective: a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.

I had to recently look at how I viewed holidays. At one point in my life they were a joyous occasion. I loved decorating, organizing dinner or lunch gatherings, spreading the word on events or I was just there. I still do enjoy a reason to celebrate, even holidays that don’t involve my own cultural background. Why I do these invents has never been a question for me.

It is a matter of perspective…

I want to be involved with the collective if they allow. I’m not a fan of small talk but I am a fan of learning. The more I learn about you the more I find similarities between us. That give us something to join in joy with each other. Furthering how we can find shared interest. Same reason I like competition, beneficial competition.

Mookie 💜

Do you ever find yourself sitting and suddenly a thought pops up and then becomes so repetitive to point of having you act? Is that your intuition or a feeling of your standards not being met? Let’s look at the definitions of intuition and standard.

Intuition: the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning

Standard: a level of quality, achievement, performance, etc., that is considered acceptable or desirable

We all have some sort of intuition and in some things in our lives we have standards. Both are developed continuously. More often than not our standards are developed more than our intuition. Our intuition is ignored because of our wants. Our standards improve because our intuition was ignored. If we choose to ignore our intuition, let it not be for too long and for too little.

Mookie 💜

I don’t know what this audio is because it has been since Jan 19 since I have uploaded it. Luckily I put a title on the audio when initially save and that gives me a topic to write this blurb on.

Parenting sucks. Not for everyone but for EVERYONE. There is just levels to the suckery that a good parent goes through.

Obviously I am not talking to bad parents…like come on.

So parenting sucks. You have the low level of suckery and that would be your sleep being deprived and scheduled rearranged in the form of rubik’s cube. A few random yearly illness - essentially light work. Give me that any day at this point but don’t because I love my schedule.

Then you have the medium degeneracy of parenting. Maybe you are a single parenting through intentional circumstances but you have emotional and physical support. Just up the inconvenience a bit more, like from 50 to 150.

Now just imagine the low level, then the medium minus the needed support. Add a shakey foundation of what it means to be a supportive parent through crisis. Meaning you came from a chaotic home life where you know nothing but to be responsible so you take on all of the responsibility of everyone’s emotions, blamed for everyone’s personal failures, and their negligent actions. By proxy parent of adults and children. Holding it all together to be the emotional foundation to keep your cool. This makes parenting suck.

Maybe if it didnt suck, then I wouldn't be complimented on how well I am doing. I just know its hard a lot of days. Leaves you feeling like you are walking a tightrope where no e exists.

Oh and btw - this isn’t gender specific. I’m for the people and this is to the collective. If you feel this way - it is okay. It gets hard.

Mookie 💜

Be good to each other

What does it mean to consistently repeat something you didnt realize already happened before? If you are willing to learn then you are in your infancy of desiring to grow - a hunger. Maybe not infancy, maybe the first set of formative years of 2-7. If you refuse then you are at pubescent stage of refusing to believe that it is what you are seeing. That you need to see it to believe it.

We repeat history, sometimes genetically. You have the green thumb of your great grandparents- that ancestral intuitive knowledge of what plants need. Maybe you find yourself really good with numbers like a parent you hadn't formed a bond with. Even darkness is ancestral. It doesnt mean we have to to repeat, just be aware. Be aware and use this knowledge to be helpful to ourselves and others.

Be well.

Mookie 💜

I think it is highly amusing to be asked repetively to move on when you ask why. And I am be facetious when I use “amusing.” There is nothing Amusing with running into the NPCs of life.

I don't want to always do the work that comes with having, or being given, the solutions. Because you have to use those solutions to go past the physical or mental obstacle that was put in place by another's interpersonal limitations.

Peope are asked to look to different religion flavors to get guidance. Or sit in heavy meditation to calm your senses or regulate your mood. To get you to stand outside your primal nature to react, and that is good. I'm not going to take nothing away from that stuff.

Then it is the parables.

Oh my goodness the parables!

I don’t want to hear that a butterfly can't show its wings if it has never bore the solitude of its cocoon 😕.

I get the reference - I made it up. Maybe someone said it before me but I haven't heard it or reading before now.

I am not talking to the newbies of life, the ones still learning. I speak to those that know they do wrong and don't explain.

Mookie 💜

Psst… I'm getting better with the grapics.

I’m a writer. I think that is in my bio. Today is my third book’s birthday(14 November?. I’m excited so I dropped an audio. I’m really proud of my success. At times it doesn’t feel like it to me because there is so much time that goes between each event. I’ve been on a few stages, done a few classes, a few events, some groups… there is a lot.

We tend to focus on the culmination and not the journey. The part of the journey that requires time and not necessarily planning. The sleep varying nights along with the next morning texts of “Are you available?” is a sporadic and clustered sequence.

No one catches you on those days when they get around to asking how your day was. They catch on what seems like a jet-lagged moment of time when you haven’t even been on a flight. They catch when your mind has the events ready to be record but not readily in memory to answer the question “What have you been up?” They catch you when you can only seem to give a quarter measure of reply.

Well today is the anniversary of the release of my 3rd book. I’m announcing it on my twenty-first musing and all is well in the world. No one will wish me any good things for this today and if they do I’ll put a retraction on that specifically. I’ll always be happy for me.

* Mookie💜

I’m not sure if there was an episode of Peter Pan battling potatoes. These potatoes were formed in my imagination. They were created to give shape to the monsters of mathematical proportions - whatever that means.

I never thought to actually quell these monsters I created to dance freely in my head to give form to my angst of solving literal math problems. I though maybe give them an outlet in my head would somehow appease my angst. The angst of mentally solving how the ramp speed on a interstate was determined. Or how detectives determined you speed by the skid marks on the road from your stopping distance. The random moments of solving functions.

I mention Peter Pan because some of the best and simplest solutions are childlike as my daughter pointed out to me. That any dilemma that I create, I can defeat. The solution was given to me and at first I didn’t understand. She heard my frustration with the dancing potatoes in my head and she provided me a solution to what appeared to be my core frustration.

While it wasn’t my core frustration it was one I could solve myself, in turn quelling the angst that rose from it. First deal with the monsters that you created in your head to give you room to handle everything else.

Mookie Toujour💜

Below is a piece of abstract writing. This is an exercise from a mini seminar organized by a storytelling group I am in. The mini seminar was taught by an Jasmine from an organization in Chicago called The Neo-Futurist.

The art piece doesn’t necessarily have to be physically spoken by you but this is a rant and itbhas to be taught and the scene set up verbally. It isn’t long because we didn't have a lot of time with so many people on the zoom meeting.

In essence I squeezed out every little bit of rant I could in the time that I had all while being partially hungover from the night before.

Topic: Something I could rant about

Action: multi-tasking but starting a row for a crochet project

“Differences. What are our differences if we have never stepped out of our same? That is such a difficult question as sitting here listening to someone trying to box me in again. I like red and you like blue( I like red but this is just an example and not my favorite color). That is a difference. You thinking I am different because of the way I pronounce my Rs is not a difference, it’s a lack of exploration.

I am not too different from anyone else, just particular. Just particular in a way that I love for my towels to be folded in a particularly orderly way but also get lost in thought driving in a way that gives Georgia State Patrol a reason to love their job. I love their job too. I too wanna go fast…

Let me stay on topic, kind of.

I need my towels to be folded in a rectangle. You square my towels and I am prone to delve into madness. I don’t see you different than me. I just see someone or something new I hadn’t explored. That would mean explore me without putting me in a box based on perceived differences. Difference that seem to come because you saw someone else do it and I resemble that someone else because of any similarities you decided to box me into.

You don’t know me though.

We don’t have many differences. I’m tired of living like we do because of something someone else had to group together for you like a polynomial.

I mention polynomial because I am taking math and now understand the reason while writing this why you would need to factor a polynomial.”

Hopefully you listen to the audio - I think we need it.

Mookie Toujour💜

I am writing on purpose again. I didn’t think I would be writing on purpose again so soon. I found myself outside opening my gate to begin my yard’s maintenance with the aggressive barking of my neighbor’s dogs again. I feel the anger well up in me and a whisper inside that tells me “you are set aside.” I am angry because I have already addressed this issue with the dogs. No one I talk to sees it as an issue. They say dogs bark but my yard is not theirs and by as much time has passed they should be acclimated to the fact that I lived here first. Peace and quiet predates them.

“You are set aside.” What does that mean? What am I to do with that whispering. There is no immediate power in that saying that will quell these animals to stop disturbing my thoughts or correcting the owners of these wayward animals. I grew up with dogs around me. For the most part, they do not just bark. They learn their zone of protection and shut up. Responsible owners know a barking dog is usually not a protector.

Know you have been set aside feels illogical. Another reason why feelings and logic have to learn to be on good terms. I have to walk in my purpose and me walking over to my neighbors house every time their dogs bark at me for being outside in my yard is not purposeful. That is the part that most angers me. My main assignment being a peaceful protagonist in my own story. Not a pushover, steady in my reproach. I can’t move in anger because my anxiety has been heightened. I have to calm down and feel safe again.

It is imperative to understand that all people who I encounter think like me. They do not have the purpose that I have. The automatic knowing and reading of situations that allow me to ignore most negative social interactions. I do not take solace in that because it requires quite a bit of mental stamina.

Being set aside for your purpose in life is taxing. It makes you angry when you finally figure out what it means to be “set aside” in reference to your purpose. You are not meant to walk in every storm to quell it, just in the ones that require you to walk in your purpose. Telling rowdy dogs to shut-up is an everybody job and I am too special for that.

Mookie Toujour💜