I received a tweet that read "podcast idea: an episode for people who are really struggling with their mental stuff and want to feel like someone cares about them. it would be super chill, like "wow our brain sucks sometimes. you will feel better, but in the meantime, i am here for you" as someone who doesn't have friends, i don't have anyone to help me take my mind off things when i can't do it on my own. when im deep into shit, i don't want to discuss my disorders, i just want a nice lil distraction for an hour until i can being to be rational again. you know?" So that's what this ep was. Honestly, reading it back now, maybe I fucked up a little because I sort of did what this would be for myself which is very much I guess talking about disorders and existential mystical magical self talk about the nature of all things and the heart of okayness to it all and I will probably reapproach with a more distractiony episode, but here at least you get the very true to jarrett existential sort of pep talk not pep talk whatever it is it's ok tape. Whatever this is, it is the you're ok tape.

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Today Melisa Monts, who is a wonderful writer-director-producer, joins me on My Good Bad Brain and we talk a lot around this idea of being "quiet". You know what I mean? Like the idea of someone who isn't uncomfortable being quiet and holding their space, those people are assigned ideas like they're wallflowers, solitary, brooding, meek... Quiet Ones. It's one of the few traits you can be assigned not by doing a thing but by NOT doing a thing, and that is so interesting to me, I wanted to talk to Melisa about whether or not she FEELS quiet, how does one end up being considered "quiet", especially in the context of working around personalities considered to be very large, professionally so. Of course this is just a jumping off point, our good bad brains do lead us around as usual, but it's an interesting jumping off point for sure.

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I had a wacky week that involved a lot of circumstances that put my focus outside of myself and feel I had some revelations about the mechanisms of our powerful brains and perhaps some ways to hack these atypical brains of ours to improve our lived experiences and live serving the people and things we love.

Also, here's a link to a fellow listener's crowdfunding page and instagram, if you are able to part with a few bucks to try and help out with a very difficult situation a comrade good bad brain is going through, that would be a good thing to do this week. https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/ineedsomebackbone?utm_term=4BkjwKxgE

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Today my buddy Dario Civon comes by and we talk about this book he wrote, I'm Not Moving Out, I'm Not Getting a Job, Screw You: A Millennial Field Guide + Gen Z, and specifically about this odd moment in history and what it seems to do for existential questions and mental health in general. Dario is someone I know through online, he's someone who reminds me of me, he's an artist and former athlete and just has a vibe that reminds me of me, a person responding to the absurdity of existence with his own absurdity. When he was younger he was almost put into a track of education for kids with aspberger's and we discuss some of that also, which I found very interesting. I'd like to talk to some folks who are on the spectrum to ask their experiences, but this sparked a conversation about the possible downsides of being diagnosed, how sometimes one can feel pigeonholed or in the case of an educational system, literally partitioned off onto a specific educational track. Anyway, I hope you get something out of it, self care, hydrate, etc.

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I'm doing a solo one this week, talk about facing bad feelings again, negative sense of self in the form of impostor syndrome and fear of failure/success and how looking at this cycle seems to have illuminated some stuff i have with eating disorders and body dysmorphia, validation and whether i condone it or not for myself, all the flip flops and backbends i'll go through to protect and maintain my illness because not liking myself is part of WHO I AM and if i were able to change that then WHO WOULD I BE?? This one is me alone and so, as these can do, gets a little esoteric at times. I hope you find something helpful in this, self-care, hydrate, etc.

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Today was our first attempt at a remote interview! It mostly went pretty well, I think. I'm sort of weird and listless today, my grandpa died last night and death puts me in a weird detached headspace, but anyway, Terry is amazing, we sort of recreate our first conversation where Terry introduced me to the concept of dialogue vs. discussion vs. debate and, well, I think it fundamentally changes how one receives other people and also how you talk to yourself. Anyway, find Terry online under the name @indigiqueer93 I hope you get some goodness out of our talk.

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Cory DeMeyers joins me today, he's an amazing parkour athlete and stunt performer and coordinator. I wasn't sure what exactly we were gonna explore today but after chatting for a while the themes arose on their own (as they're wont to do!). To other children of divorce out there, I hope you don't feel too attacked by the specificity of our experiences. I think Cory and I both made some realizations here in an episode that's a bit more therapy than I usually skew but no less delightful for that.

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Heyyooooo today we're talking with the wonderful Laura Cassidy ( ig: laurakatecassidy ) about borderline personality and eating disorders, specifically anorexia. I felt I learned some stuff about myself here, I've been really releasing and rethinking a lot of my own eating habits since recording this right before the holidays, so I was super grateful for that. Also the discussion around borderline personality is really fascinating, I know very little about this and Laura though I've wondered if I've had it in the past. It's one of those disorders that has a lot of stigma attached to the name so I was really appreciative to have Laura share some of her experiences with us. Hope you get some good stuff out of it! Self-care, hydrate, etc.

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I'm solo for this ep (unless you count all the frogs and bugs chiming in from the jungle and also the string of family and friends coming through the porch where I was recording) and I thought I'd take this time to reflect upon public resolutions I made last year at this time and whether or not I followed through with them and why I think resolutions can be super duper fuckin' helpful for moving into newer, more enjoyable lives as ourselves.

I hope your 2018 was okay and I hope your 2019 is lookin' like it will rock ass. Hydrate, self-care, etc.

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Hi everyone! I put an ask out to y'all on instagram for your personally useful strategies for getting through the holidays with your good bad brain in tact and compiled them all in this lovely little ep! It's full of practical little strategies from other listeners as well as yours truly for dealing with this, the moooost triggering tiiime of the YEEEEAAAR!

FYI listener advice starts around the 30 minute mark, the first half hour is half my personal advice from experience and broadly speaking what advice seems to exist on the internet as well as a little list of no and low money gift ideas that I have used in the past, because financially this can be a very stressful time for a lot of us who want to give gifts but might not be sitting too comfy with cash! If you wanna skip all that, tho, feel free to skip to the 29 minute mark.

Love you all! If you feel like giving some gifts to My Good Bad Brain check out patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain

Self-care, hydrate, be well my lovelies.

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