Have you heard about this new version of Microsoft Flight Simulator?   The gaming world is going insane over the jaw-dropping realism.   It just unbelievable.   If you’re not familiar.  If you’re not familiar… in Microsoft Flight Simulator. You’re a pilot.  You fly a plane.  That’s it.

But even pilots admit the realism is jaw dropping.  If you started the game right now… you could fly out of salt lake city… the weather would be exactly like it is outside right now… you could buzz your own house in a 747… or a little Cessna.

But big deal.

If you truly  want a realistic flying experience… I suggest you wait for a new app called Airplane Mode that comes out this fall for PC and Mac

In this realistic game… you’re a passenger on a six hour flight from New York to Reykjavik, Iceland.   The goal is to survive rude passengers… lousy wifi… while you sit  through six long hours… playing online crossword puzzles… watching the clouds drift past …. or the safety video over and over …  it even simulates crying babies…. and the agony of a landing delay.   The goal is to go the distance.  Keeping playing six hours til you land in Rejavick.

The publisher of Airplane mode… says other flight simulators give you high-definition cockpits with billions of switches and dials… but airplane mode gives you a realistically rendered seatback tray table…. and all the real world annoyances that come with air travel.

The only good thing about this game?  When you play on your home computer….  You don’t have to wear a mask.

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You hear all the headlines about frantic research for a covid vaccine.  Have you said to yourself…. I gotta get in on that action.  Make a little folding money as a guinea pig.

Well… here’s how it works… if you want to be a part of a covid vaccine trial.

They’re looking for participants right now in 10 different cities.  The closest are Vegas… and San Diego.  You answer some questions…as they look for healthy people of all ages… both sexes.  All nationalities.  They’ll probably give you a checkup… and if you pass muster… you get a shot.  The vaccine.

Might work.  Might not.  Might cause side effects.  Might not.  If fact… you might feel pretty punk… for about 24-48 hours after you get the shot..

The vaccines don’t have any coronavirus in them… so it won’t give you covid.

You write down any symptoms or side affects and three weeks later… you go back  for a booster shot. 

 After that… you let them know about any symptoms or side effects.  Every 3 months you go back to get blood drawn.  You’re not supposed to try and get covid.  No licking people in quarantine.

Oh … the money.   Think you’re gonna get rich?  Nah.  You get about 50-bucks per doctor visit.  By the time you’re done with the 2 year trial… you might get a thousand bucks.

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The other day we learned KFC is dropping the slogan you’ve been hearing your entire life.  The one you know by heart.

 - Reba -

Reba McIntire’s turn as the Colonel.  Finger Lickin doesn’t sound sound so magnificent in the middle of a pandemic… after all .. you’re supposed to avoid touching your hands to your face.  So the Colonel… whoever he is… won’t say it. 

In case of spectacularly bad timing… KFC debuted a choreographed commercial of nothing but people licking their fingers… set to classical music.  They didn’t even have to say a word in the spot.

The unforgettable tagline has been around for 64 years.  Here’s the real Colonel.  Harlan Sanders… back in 1969.

You know the real colonel.. wasn’t a Colonel.   He was a gas station attendant… an insurance salesman… and a guy figured out how to make good chicken in a pressure fryer.   His first Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant was on South State Street in Murray.   It’s still there… the dining room’s closed because of Covid.   Drive thru’s open though.

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      Back when he only had a roadside stand in Kentucky ...The Governor gave him the Honorary Title of Colonel …because of his contributions to the state’s cuisine.  Colonel Sanders never served in the military

And now younger folk ask if the Colonel was a real person… and wonder if he’s still alive. .  Yes he’s real.  No he’s not alive. he died in 1980.  A man who rose up from nothing.  He lived hand to mouth.  Then life got finger lickin good… but he sold the entire chain for chicken feed.  He got 2-million bucks.   These days KFC is worth a bucket full of money.  8-and-a-half-5 billion.  Whether you lick your fingers… or not.

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Joe Biden knew who he wanted all along.  There were concerns about Kamala Harris within the Biden Campaign.  That younger… left-leaning Democrats might reject her… because she was a prosecutor. 

One of Biden’s most trusted allies… Senator Christopher Dodd… reportedly said that Harris is too ambitious… and might throw the boss under the bus to burnish her own chances for 2024.

Women in the campaign went ballistic.  Complaining that men are applauded for being ambitious… but women have to play by a different set of rules.

But Biden …who met with 11 women for the job… knew who he wanted all along.

The one the Trump campaign didn’t want.  Yesterday he said…  Axios is reporting… they were hungering for Communist Karen bass… or Spyin Susan Rice.  Figures easily branded with Trump nicknames that would stick.  The President is trying out Phoney Kamala Harris.  He’s already called her nasty.  He’ll make his case over the next 82 days.

And 56 days from now… the Vice Presidential candidates will be here in Salt Lake …at the U..  for a socially distant de

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Even if baseball bores you… I’m sure you’ve checked out a game or two just to see what it’s like… and you noticed the cardboard cutouts in the stands.

The price tag to have your likeness leering at the pitcher from the front row varies from ballpark to ballpark.  A cutout at Dodgers Stadium costs 300-dollars.  Phillies Fans fork over a mere $25 to be seen on TV.

Some lifelong fans honor loved ones… by putting a cardboard cutout of dear old dad behind the plate … long past HIS 9th inning. and there he’ll  sit… never sipping a drink… never shelling a peanut… his expression frozen fthrough 54 outs   

You’re listening to fake crowd noise pumped through the loudspeakers at a Mets game.  You can decide if it’s authentic.

NBA games in the bubble … that’s a whole ‘nother story.   You’ve seen the video walls filled with live fans gazing upon the game from home.   Reacting in real time?   There are 320 virtual seats per game.  To get on that wall.. you gotta be a season ticket holder for one of the teams on the court… and you have to sign a 3-page waiver….promising youl’ll avoid profanity.

You login to the NBA’s content command center… and you see a zoom window of all your fellow fans attending the game…. and the game itself.

If you look closely… sometimes celebrities are up on that wall.  Rapper Lil Wayne showed up from his couch for a Lakers Game.  Shaq was in the virtual stands for  Bucks versus Heat.  Players Wives and kids get virtual tickets.

When you watch a game… fake crowd noise is piped in… it’s pretty good.

That is the NBA2k video game.  You thought it was real.   That’s the point.

And this is real.

So a Jazz game has actual Utah fans in those video stands.  So next time you watch the Jazz take a close look at the wall.  There might be somebody you know up there!

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Americans have been searching for new ways to spend time alone.  

Verizon sifted through the Google Data to find out which hobbies and interests have been  most popular in each state.

People in Alabama searched for DIY classes…  Hawaiins are most interested in Foreign Languages.  Baking is big in Montana… but here in Utah… the thing we wanted to know about most … was Photography.

Which makes sense.  We have more kids.  More Mountains.  Red Rocks.  Spellbinding scenery.   Now I left radio worked in the photography industry for a decade.   And while some people are content to wiggle their phone at an interesting scene… and good enough… others need the Nikon Z7… thousands of dollars worth of lenses… the carbon fiber tripod…  and 20-grand later… they do the same thing as the ones with the iphones.  Snap …snap …snap… snap  …they never put the camera down.

So Utahns who love photography… as someone who’s been in the industry… I’m going to give you a piece of advice that you won’t get in any online classes.  I learned this face-to-face with a legendary photographer on a visit to Australia. He took me to a World War I memorial… and when I started snap snap snap … he pushed my camera down… and said… take a Neurochrome.

A what.

He said a neurochrome   Neuro.  Use your brain… to remember this scene.  Look with your eyes.. not your lens. The problem with us photographers… is that we never stop to look… and remember.  The way normal people do.

So newfounds photographers of utah… before you buy that next piece of gear… my advice… simple advice.  Put camera down.  And enjoy the world… before you try to capture it.

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Over the weekend… Tik Tok was hanging by a thread.  President Trump stood ready to shut it down…because of the possible security risk.  Kids were posting farewell videos.  

At this point… it looks like Microsoft will buy Tik Tok… and turn it into a red blooded All American app… and thank goodness.

If Tik Tok went away… where would our kids go to learn about the hashtag eye bleach challenge.  Exactly what it sounds like.  You put bleach in your eye.

If they shut down Tik Tok.. how would the hashtag fire challenge spread like wildfire.  That’s the one where you douse yourself in flammable liquid …and yeah.  You got it.

If Tik Tok was shut down .. our youth might never discover the hashtag … Penny Challenge.  That’s the one where you plug a phone charger into the wall.  And then slip a penny between the outlet and the charger.  You get fireworks… scorch the wall and risk electrocution.

If Tik Tok was banned.  I’m not seeing a downside.  Nobody’s coming up with a vaccine or curing cancer on Tik Tok.   But  truth is… if it was banned… somebody’d come up with a replacement app.  

Cuz you can’t cure stupid.

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When George washington needed a flag… he showed his design to a seamstress… and she cut out the stars… sewed the stripes… you know the result. 

If George Washington needed a flag today he google "custom flags” and a minute later his Facebook feed would be absolutely littered.  with flag ads.  Cheap flags… Sturdy fl      gs… Rainbow Flags.  Flags that wave batteries not included.  He’d see flags featuring coiled snakes… black stripes…. or stars and bars… but nothing that was exactly right.

So next Ole George would jump on Etsy… where he’d find a custom seamstress ready to turn your art into a hand stitched flag.  Didn’t matter that the woman who owned the Etsy Ross storefront had a string of husbands and a sordid affair or two that might have muddied her reputation on Twitter.

Didn’t matter.  General Washington needed a flag to rally his militia …. so he'd whip out his Colonial Express card and upload his custom stars and stripes design.  Happily paying the extra $30 for rush shipping.   And after Fedex delivered the long cardboard tube… he’d he unfurled the flag in all its glory… and salute.   Of course the next day  an email popped up asking him to rate the transaction.

And as we know from the history books… George Washington gave his flag…. 13 stars. 

In the comments he’d write I’d give this purchase 50 stars… if I could.

And  the flag that’s been burned.. spat upon kneeled before… and flown over Iwo Jima… Gettysburgh … Berlin… and tomorrow ...your front lawn…… has earned… its 50 stars.  

We do drive by birthdays these days.  Happy Birthday America.

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Cirque du Soleil has filed for bankruptcy.  A circus that  ditched the tired concept of elephants on their hindlegs… and instead… reimagined the circus.   We gaped at elaborate costumes and elegant theatrics performed by nimble gymnasts flying, twisting and splashing.

Along the way… Cirque du Soleil… reinvented the price tag for a circus ticket.   Under the bigtop in a shopping center parking lot you’d part with a couple of bucks to see a guy in sequeins  wiggle along a tightrope.  But when you take the circus to Vegas and add next level thrills… the tickets are $275…. until the pandemic.  

Every Cirque performance cancelled for months. 3500 workers jobless.  Workers who give everything for their jobs… a few times… their lives.   There are no safety nets.

With Chapter 11… New investors will pare back the number of shows… and eventually hire back some of their performers…

But for the rest… what kind of work is out there for a jobless contortionist who’s only skill is  dancing with a chainsaw …atop a flagpole?

The future looks bleak… for the very performers who’ve reinvented the circus.   Cirque du Soleil was so original … they even invented their own language.  

The exotic soundtracks at their shows…. its a made up language… they could bring this ishkabibble to any country and it would seem equally exotic.

For 22 years … the “O” must go on.   But now.  The curtain has fallen ..and the only safety net at Cirque du Soleil …  is bankruptcy protection.  

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Sports are supposed to come back by the end of the month.   No fans… but athletes will sweat for our amusement.. starting July 24th for baseball.  July 30th for the Jazz.

Almost forgotten in the rush to return… is the ref.

What happens to the in-your-face fits coaches throw at refs?   a 6 foot socially distant freak out won’t be the same - nor as effective.   And another thing that might not be the same… is the ref’s whistle.

Think about it.  A dude blowing hard into a whistle in the middle of a pandemic.  What could go wrong?

Everything.

Which is why… a lot of refs are looking at electronic whistles.  Hand held electronic whistles the ref blows…  by pressing a button.  Some hockey leagues are moving to the e-whistle.  But there’s no decision from the professional leagues… amid concerns about how loud or soft the whistles are.  For football… do they work in the rain and snow?   And the biggest concern by refs…. is the biggest embarrassment a ref can suffer.   The inadvertant whistle.  Oops sorry… didn’t mean it.  

A slight wiggle of the finger and you stop play by accident.  It’s too much to consider.   But the particles unleashed by a whistle blast… might be the bigger concern this season.

Okay time’s up!

That’s electronic.  Works just fine.

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