Damon is bummed because his slam-piece is dying from a werewolf bite, so he volunteers Elena to play nurse. Caroline finds herself in a love triangle and Jules tells Tyler more werewolves are a-coming. Cheyenne celebrates her 24th in a naked way and Nichole goes off the grid.

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Tyler completes his first werewolf transition with the help of his sponsor Caroline. The gang traps Elena in her house because she keeps trying to unalive herself and Bonnie tries to de-spell the yoni egg with the help of Luka. Cheyenne talks about legendary girl boss Elizabeth Holmes and Nichole spreads Covid misinformation.

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Elena wants to sacrifice herself to Klaus and Jeremy risks his life to take the moonstone from Katherine. Caroline and Tyler discover the true erotic nature of turning into a werewolf. Cheyenne and Nichole say a hearty mazel tov to Trisha Paytas on her marriage and discuss newfound knowledge of Nancy Reagan’s top game.

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Elena interrogates Katherine about her past. Jeremy tries to seduce Bonnie but gets cock-blocked by a warlock. Damon and Rose try to find Klaus and end up finding their way into each other’s pants. Nichole comes out as a Charlie Puth stan and Cheyenne talks about accidentally playing a game of billiards.

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Elena is held hostage at a gorgeous Neo-Classical mansion, Caroline spills the beans about vampires to Tyler, and Elijah makes a fruity first impression. Cheyenne and Nichole make a bet about a certain celebrity's sexuality and count down the days until Jeff Bezos is emperor of Mars.

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Elena is in her Reputation era because everyone left her out to do a murder, Bonnie and Jeremy have some weird sexual chemistry, and Tyler accidentally kills a high schooler named Sarah. Cheyenne suspects she might be going through something and Nichole recounts the time she staked out a Dairy Queen parking lot.

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Mystic Falls is setting up for the masquerade ball and the goss has never been hotter. Jeremy and Damon set out to interrogate Mason about whether or not he’s been keeping the moonstone in his butthole, Bonnie finally forgives Caroline for killing her slam piece, and Elena wears jeggings. Stefan and Elena break up (it’s not a prank). Nichole fantasizes about being a court jester and Cheyenne is offended that she hasn’t been harrassed at the gym.

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Hot Uncle Mason is still on the hunt for the moonstone and Tyler and Jeremy have a bro out. The Salvator boys are nearly assassinated at a lemonade stand. Cheyenne and Nichole discuss the absolute chokehold Tiktoker Emily Mariko has on the girlies and claim that men should not be allowed to wear backpacks.

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Damon goes werewolf hunting at Aunt Jenna’s fake ass barbecue and Stefan tortures Katherine to find out why she is back in town. Elena is mad Stefan won’t text her back and they end up breaking up (as a prank). Cheyenne imprinted on a spaghetti squash and Nichole just knows OJ Simpson is Khloe Kardashion’s real dad.

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Caroline is learning how to vampire so Stephen takes on the grueling task of babysitting her while Damon and Elena go on another road trip. Mason Lockwood is a werewolf (surprise!) and Alaric kisses Aunt Jenna. Nichole and Cheyenne inaccurately claim that Kacey Musgraves’s new divorce album was released in response to John Mulaney’s pregnancy scandal.

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