In this interview with Aaron Levine, who has a master’s in sociology from Portland State University, we discuss what hegemonic masculinity is- and how it manifests in our nonprofits.

Part one in a series of 3.

Here’s what we know for sure. Studies show women make less. But it goes beyond that. Sexism in the workplace according to my Bloomerang research (lower wages for women across all job titles, levels of experience)

By the end of this series we will cover:

I. Aaron Levine, our guest has a PSU Sociology Master’s & Studied Swazi male drinking habits & Connell’s theory of masculinities

II. What are gender structures and masculinities in hegemonic masculinity?

B. Four types of relations

Erin Donley is a nonfiction book ghostwriter and the author of “Don’t Tell Me to Calm Down.”

She is known for her ability to dig for the truth, reveal what’s hidden, and teach communication strategies that are both healthy and effective. Order her book Don’t Tell Me to Calm Down.

We address:

Resources:

Welcome to the NAME IT! podcast Today we’re going to talk about disability accessibility in the sector with disability activist Jewelles Smith. This is a movement. Join us! You can listen right here On Stitcher On TuneIn On Google Play On iTunes On Spotify

In this interview with Mary Sobecki, executive director of the NeedMor Fund, we talk about why involving people in the community in grantmaking decisions is important. Chris Hedges writes, “When we cannot tell ourselves the truth about our past, we become trapped in it. This is especially true about race in America. Our undiscovered self cripples us.” When we think about race, when we talk about it, and when we uncover different ways to look at it, we help uncover biases and beliefs that people have. I taught a bias workshop last year that helped white people look at their unconscious bias around race. It was very uncomfortable for them. And I don’t think I actually succeeded, in that one hour workshop, in actually getting anyone to SEE their unconscious bias. but I TRIED! Lord how I tried. What can you do? We need to focus on how to interrupt oppression, every day. That’s why we made the podcast, Name It! Resources: A post we mentioned in the podcast: Our Undiscovered Self Cripples Us

In the nonprofit sector lately, Helen and Mazarine have seen some glaring examples of white fragility. So, we decided to do an episode on what this is, and how we can do better. Are you wondering what white fragility is? how it shows up? listen up for some quick tips on what it is, how to recognize it, and how to do better as a white ally. Listen and subscribe to the podcast here: https://wildwomanfundraising.com/podcast/ According to Robin DiAngelo’s book, White Fragility, she writes: Here’s what people say their “feelings” are when White Fragility is going on- Singled out Attacked Silenced Shamed Guilty Accused Insulted Judged Angry Scared Outraged Here are the behaviors of white fragility- Crying Physically leaving Emotionally withdrawing Arguing Denying Focusing on intentions Seeking absolution Avoiding Here are the things people say when white fragility is going on- I know people of color Out of context Martin Luther King quote I marched in the sixties I already know all this You are judging me You don’t know me You are generalizing That is just your opinion I disagree The real oppression is class [or gender, or anything other than race] You are elitist I just said one little innocent thing Some people find offense where there is none My friend said that this word is not racist therefore I am not being racist. You’re playing the race card You misunderstood me I feel so attacked right now The problem is your tone That was not my intention I have suffered too. You hurt my feelings. You’re being racist against me You are making me feel guilty I don’t feel safe. Here are the assumptions that are going on when white fragility is appearing- Racism is simply personal prejudice I am free of racism I will be the judge of whether racism has occurred My learning is finished; I know all I need to know. Racism can only be intentional; my not having intended racism cancels out the impact of my behavior My suffering relieves me of racism or racial privilege White people who experience another form of oppression cannot experience racial privilege. If I am a good person, I can’t be racist. I am entitled to remain comfortable/have this conversation the way I want to. How I am perceived by others is the most important issue. As a white person, I know the best way to challenge racism. If I am feeling challenged, you are doing this wrong. It’s unkind to point out racism. Racism is conscious bias. i have none, so I am not racist. Racists are bad individuals, so you are saying I am a bad person. If you knew me or understood me, you would know I can’t be racist. I have friends of color, so I can’t be racist. There is no problem, society is fine the way it is. Racism is a simple problem. People just need to… My worldview is objective, and is the only one operating. If I can’t see it, it isn’t legitimate. If you have more knowledge on the subject than I do, you think you’re better than me. Here are the rules of engagement for white fragility. Do not give me feedback on my racism under any circumstances. If you DO break this first rule, then Proper tone is crucial. feedback must be given calmly. If any emotion is displayed, the feedback is invalid and can be dismissed. You must give feedback privately. If you give feedback in front of others, is to commit a serious social transgression. If you cannot protect me from embarrassment, the feedback is invalid, and YOU are the transgressor. There must be trust between us. You must trust that I am in no way racist before you can give me feedback on my racism. Our relationship must be issue-free- if there are issues between us, you cannot give me feedback on racism until these unrelated issues are resolved. You must be as indirect as possible. Directness is insensitive and will invalidate the feedback and require repair. As a white person, I must feel completely safe during any

We are so psyched to speak with Kishshana Palmer, CEO of Kishshana & Co. and Chief Growth Officer of The Future Project. She and Helen Choi talk about the pay gap, the leadership gap, women of color and the advancement challenges they face, and the recent race to lead study. In this interview we go deep into what it feels like to be a person of color in the nonprofit sector, trying to make your way. And seeing the unconscious privilege people from the dominant culture have. If you listen, you’ll find some ways to help stop unconscious bias in your organization and make things more equitable and just for everyone. We reference some aspects of white supremacy culture in the interview- including: perfectionism, defensiveness, sense of urgency, paternalism, power hoarding, fear of open conflict, and right to comfort. “People who shut their eyes to reality simply invite their own destruction, and anyone who insists on remaining in a state of innocence long after that innocence is dead turns himself into a monster.” –James Baldwin More Resources: The study we reference in the interview: racetolead.org DIY anti-oppression work FTW! Check out Me and White Supremacy– this workbook! Blackness is the Fulcrum It’s Not Just Ralph Northam—Anti-Blackness is ‘Vintage Americana’ Gather Your People: White Women Must Hold Each Other Accountable for Racism Seeing White (Podcast) Healing from Internalized Whiteness Free Webinar on Everyday Feminism What is White Supremacy Culture? Dismantling Racism: White Supremacy Culture White Supremacy Culture From Dismantling Racism: A Workbook for Social Change Groups, by Kenneth Jones and Tema Okun, ChangeWork, 2001 This is a list of characteristics of white supremacy culture which show up in our organizations. Culture is powerful precisely because it is so present and at the same time so very difficult to name or identify. The characteristics listed below are damaging because they are used as norms and standards without being pro-actively named or chosen by the group. They are damaging because they promote white supremacy thinking. They are damaging to both people of color and to white people. Organizations that are people of color led or a majority people of color can also demonstrate many damaging characteristics of white supremacy culture. Perfectionism little appreciation expressed among people for the work that others are doing; appreciation that is expressed usually directed to those who get most of the credit anyway more common is to point out either how the person or work is inadequate or even more common, to talk to others about the inadequacies of a person or their work without ever talking directly to them mistakes are seen as personal, i.e. they reflect badly on the person making them as opposed to being seen for what they are ó mistakes making a mistake is confused with being a mistake, doing wrong with being wrong little time, energy, or money put into reflection or identifying lessons learned that can improve practice, in other words little or no learning from mistakes tendency to identify whatís wrong; little ability to identify, name, and appreciate whatís right antidotes: develop a culture of appreciation, where the organization takes time to make sure that peopleís work and efforts are appreciated; develop a learning organization, where it is expected that everyone will make mistakes and those mistakes offer opportunities for learning; create an environment where people can recognize that mistakes sometimes lead to positive results; separate the person from the mistake; when offering feedback, always speak to the things that went well before offering criticism; ask people to offer specific suggestions for how to do things differently when offering criticism Sense of Urgency continued sense of urgency that makes it difficult to take time to be inclusive, encourage democratic and/or thoughtful decision-making, to think long-term, to consider cons

There is a lot to say about feminism in the sector, and what AFP in particular can do better for women! Vanessa Chase, founder of The Storytelling Nonprofit and #FundraisingIsFemale, shares a few tips with us! Here are some of the articles we mention: Feminist Nonprofit Leadership: Feminism is awesome! We have so many women and woman-identified folks inside our nonprofits. 70-80% of the sector is women. Unfortunately less than 50% of the top leadership in the sector is women. So, sexism rears its ugly head! Even though many of us are natural leaders, we are still getting passed over for leadership roles. And when we are in leadership roles, we are not allowed to make as many mistakes, and come under far greater scrutiny than our male counterparts. What can we do? Well, let’s first name and claim what’s going on. Does Your Nonprofit have a Gender Asbestos Problem? This was a really fun post to write. What is gender asbestos? It’s the quiet sneaky invisible poison that seeps through the air as we try to rise in our organizations. Are You Attacked for Your Fashion? Gender Bias at Work There are so many examples of famous women being attacked for their fashion. here are just a few of them. I myself was attacked for my fashion, instead of getting metrics on the job I was doing. So, people often focus on your appearance, as a part of sexism, instead of allowing you to just do your job. Incredible Crisis, AGAIN! Sexism at Work In the era of the #MeToo movement, we have a huge problem at our nonprofits. Fundraisers are often chosen for their ability to smile, be polite, gregarious, and get along with others. This can be translated into mixed signals when it comes to donors, staff or board members. #MeToo In Our Nonprofits -Interview with Maria Ramos Chertok, JD Maria Ramos-Chertok is a lawyer who specializes in workplace harassment. Her JD is from California, so her examples come from there. However, her ideas on how to protect yourself and document your case can be applied to other areas of the country (as long as you check with local legal advice). Reverse Sexism in Fundraising is Not a Thing, Sorry This article is in response to a post from the AFP blog entitled “Where are all the men?” posted on International Women’s Day?!? It claims reverse sexism. What is reverse sexism? It’s supposedly when someone who would be good for a job is turned down because he is a man. But there are some funny jokes and videos in this article that I think you will like. Donor Sexual Harassment Sadly, this still happens. In this article I talk about my story of a board member harassing me. I also talk about being sexually harassed as a consultant, and some tips to counteract workplace harassment. Leadership Empowerment! We need more people to step up and lead. So here I highlight some wonderful nonprofit women of color leaders. Let’s hear it for Asian Female Nonprofit Leaders! Now Praise Black Female Nonprofit Leaders! How Can We Empower More Women to Lead Nonprofits? Women and Workaholism: Why do women fall prey to workaholism? The unique sicknesses of being a woman in North American society is that many of us suffer from perfectionism. And it comes, partially, from women not being allowed to make as many mistakes as men. But that’s not the only reason. Do you have too much to do? How can you get help, if you have too much to do? You can prioritize your tasks. You can get volunteers to help you. How to take back your power at work We want to get everything done. But when you have a super job, aka 4-5 people’s jobs, EVERYTHING WILL NEVER GET DONE. We’ll always go to bed feeling as if there was more we should have done, or could have done. 10 ways to verbally express your boundaries at work Often workplace culture comes with bad boundaries. How can you push back against those bad boundaries? Read on! How to get out of a workaholic rut? You know you’re a workaho

TW: We talk about suicide in this episode. In this episode we talk with Chris Ramsaroop, organizer for migrant workers in Ontario, Canada (and total badass) about the nonprofit industrial complex, his work, what precarious work is, how men can be better allies, and racism in the sector. Resources: Bullying Bosses can Cause Employee Suicide You can listen right here On Stitcher On TuneIn On Google Play On iTunes On Spotify

Welcome to our first episode! Better listen to the recording, the video is super low volume on my end! Sorry about that! Are you a nonprofit leader who wonders why the sector has problems? Our podcast Name It! (with Mazarine Treyz of Wild Woman Fundraising, and Helen Choi, DJ K Honey) is here to name and claim it. And help you move forward with positive actions. In this first episode, we talk about white people not getting it, intersectionality, and what you can do to be a better white ally. Let’s fight for the party at the end of the patriarchy! Resources: Here’s Kimberlee Crenshaw’s podcast on intersectionality (she coined the term!) This is a movement. Join us! You can listen right here On Stitcher On TuneIn On Google Play On iTunes On Spotify