NBC Weekly Sermons

2.3 - Negative Assumptions

It often appears easy and efficient to anticipate what your spouse is about to say. There are two problems with this: (1) our assumption might be incorrect, and (2) this approach means we think we don’t have to listen to our spouse because we already know what they are going to say. Both of these problems can result in unsuccessful and damaging conversations.

2.4 - Gender Differences

Moderate feminism asserts that men and women are equal. This is true. Radical feminism says that men and women are identical. That is untrue. Although exceptions exist in any generality, it is worthwhile to investigate common male/female differences and the resultant communication struggles.

2.5 - Head/Heart Mismatch

A basic tenant of effective communication is that both individuals speak the same language. If the two people do not share a common language, an interpreter is required to be in the middle. A marriage counselor may periodically act as an interpreter but using a common language is the only long term solution.

3.1 - Balance vs. Focus

My life seems to consist of mentally and physically running from one urgent task to the next. I feel I am

always “running on empty”. I know I need to take time for physical, emotional, and spiritual“self-care”, but I seldom find the time. The “urgent” always seems to deflect me from getting to the “important”. In many ways, I feel that life is controlling me, rather than me controlling my life.

3.2 - Happiness vs. Contentment

American culture tells us that pursuit of happiness is our duty. I have found myself agreeing with this idea by rating my life based on perceived happiness. I seem to seldom be content. I have been disappointed in my quest for unrelenting happiness and I need another goal.

3.3 - Addressing Worry - God’s View of Time

I seem to always get stuck regretting the past or worrying about the future. Anxiety keeps me prisoner as I find myself either grieving my past or fearing the future. Sometimes I feel like I am “ping-ponging” between the past and the future. Living in the “now” seems nearly impossible.

3.6 - Unrelenting Disagreements

We have used every tool provided to us and we still can’t agree on specific decisions. It seems like each of us is “digging in our heels”, even to the point of refusing to talk about the issue. While some decisions can be delayed for a long time, others need to be decided now. When an immediate decision is required, and we are refusing to talk about it, a unilateral decision by either of us causes conflict and hard feelings.