Nearly Coherent

eD! and Jeff talk about all the going's on at Apple's Spring Loaded event, and gadzooks they're gonna spend so much money.

They also talk about Jeff's 3-year-old's first outing with her kickball league and Jeff's 3rd grader playing lacrosse, but let's be honest, you're really here for the Apple stuff, but whatever we have lives outside of shiny new crap, too!

(Well, Jeff does. eD!, not so much.)

In A Christmas Moose, eD! mentioned that he had a few episodes that he had yet to finish editing from the end of 2020 that he would finish up and release "soon". But, if 2020 showed us anything, it's that time has no meaning, so "soon" can be whenever we want it to be and, in this case, it's now!

A list of some of the hot and still very topical subjects discussed:

• Presidential debates!
• Considering watching "Ted Lasso"!
• Dong clamps!
• eD! not having watched "Ted Lasso"!
• Picking up a recently-purchased iPhone 12 Pro!
• Okay, Jeff, we get it, you like "Ted Lasso"!
• "Wiggly" versus "jiggly"!
• Other TV that isn't "Ted Lasso", mercifully!
• Jeff disappoints Sunshine!
• And so much more!

We're not kidding about the "so much more", by the way -- this is a four-hour episode. Strap in, get some comfy headphones ('cause Dave didn't do a damn thing to the audio so it might not be our best listening experience), and prepare for nonsense that makes more sense and beats the runtime out of "Zack Snyder's Justice League"!

Jeff has binged a new show that he's ashamed of! Cyclists being assaulted by nature! Tales of the In-Laws! And a discussion on how no one should give a damn about Potato Heads, there's more important shit going on if you didn't notice!

We also talk about breakthroughs in Reese's Peanut Butter Cup technology, cookie considerations, awkward Google searches eD! is not going to do, and Dave's life is in eD! and Jeff's hands, so he's probably screwed!

And since there's no reason why you wouldn't want to buy some dope as hell Art Deco Cats coloring pages, you can pick that goodness up here!

Oh, and if you're curious about when Jeff has railed against cyclists before, it's all waiting for you here.

eD!, Jeff, and Dave discuss their shared love of the rom-coms on Netflix and The Hallmark Channel, Dave shares a Tale of The In-Laws, eD! and Jeff listen to a Dave's News Corner about illegal lunch meat, and all agree that olive loaf is weird!

Also, eD! finally watched "Ted Lasso" and makes Jeff wait until the end of the episode to talk about it because, let's be honest, occasionally eD! is a complete dick.

eD! and Jeff are joined by the newly-married Dave and Lisa to discuss their wedding, their honeymoon, Dave's incredible dance moves, manicures and pedicures, and other horrors that the mind can barely comprehend!

Right when this podcast got started, Dave, our producer and all-around dumb dumpster-fire of a friend, met Lisa, a woman whose only fault is that she decided to continue to date Dave this whole time, despite that she could do way, way, waaaaaaaaaaay better.

In 2019, Dave finally got his shit together and decided to ask Lisa to marry him. Despite our continued warnings about what sort of a terrible idea that'd be, Lisa accepted.

In 2021, despite the non-stop Get Out of Bad Choices Free cards the Universe gave her, Lisa and Dave got married, and eD! and Jeff are here to tell you all about it!

Also: eD! has a new M1 MacBook Pro! The secret petty history of the iPhone! And we spend so much time just shitting on Dave, it's honestly a great time for us (although maybe not so much for Dave, but who cares tbh?).

eD! and Jeff discuss "Big Mouth", “The Mandalorian”, the live-action Spider-Verse, the AirPods Max, a brief review of Apple Fitness+, and eD! makes his Annual Sports Joke!

Also “reindeer” are now “Christmas Moose”. Deal with it, asshole.

eD! and Jeff talk about the 2020 presidential election, excellent coloring books you should buy, and all the stuff announced at Apple’s “One More Thing” event!

Since only a massive idiot wouldn't want this, and we all know you're not a massive idiot, you can pick up the Columbo Day coloring book eD! mentions on Etsy here. It's $3, don't be an ass-face and pick one up for yourself!

eD! and Jeff talk about everything that happened at the “Hi, Speed” Apple Event, and spend a moment mourning our bank accounts come November 6th.

They also answer all the burning questions you probably had after the event ended:

• Will eD! and Jeff be buying a HomePod mini? (Yes, c'mon now.)
• Did Apple do enough with the iPhone 12 to convince them to upgrade? (Yes, they announced it, the bar isn't exactly high.)
• Is eD! still bitter about the iPad mini not getting an update last month? (Not really, but he couldn't think of another thing to ask in this description, and this was the first thing he thought of, so maybe?)

If you listen to only one podcast while mindlessly staring at the Apple Store app waiting for the pre-orders for the iPhone 12 to start, make it this one (and then re-evaluate your need to make really odd and specific boundaries for yourself)!

eD! and Jeff talk about Chadwick Boseman, Sabretooth casting rumors, and singles from movie soundtracks that are very good!