Ned Trek

On their way to deliver vital medical supplies (and Ambassador Sanders) to the planet Too-tough-to-feed-ya 2, The Free Enterprise crew makes the fatal mistake of putting Lt. Commander Pearl in charge of the shuttlecraft Nimrod Seven on an away mission to the Maraschino nebula.

The Free Enterprise crew beam down on yet another Earth-like planet in ruins whose inhabitants have escaped into its decaying Regan Presidential library of old movies on VHS, tended by none other than fleet captain Ronald Reagan himself.

Plot Summary Crippled by a recent space disaster (one worse than this show), Ned’s former commander Fleet Captain Reagan and the entire Free Enterprise crew are diverted to the forbidden planet Taxus Four in a muddled attempt to get some value out of a failed original pilot. Ned cleverly contrives a series of melodramatic court … Continue reading Ned Trek 12: The Manassery →

The Free Enterprise Crew receive a massive dose of mysterious radiation that renders them eligible to serve as guest stars on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, thereby threatening their conservative bona fides with total destruction.

In this warped parody of It's A Wonderful LIfe, Captain Willard loses his way and is taken under the wing of a novice demon who shows him the true meaning of Christmas: heaps of ready cash.

The Free Enterprise crew clashes with the Kleenton Empire while compelling the inhabitants of planet Origami 5 to enter into an odious status of forces agreement with the Confederation.

Responding to a distress call from treasure planet GOP Two, the Free Enterprise crew encounters a relentless creature bent on destroying every remaining contender for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination.

Plot Summary The Free Enterprise is stopped in space and held captive, once again, by an extraterrestrial Carl Sagan, who dons his school master’s cap to take on the impossible task of instructing the captured crew on the basics of science. While resistance is futile, the collective ignorance of the Confederation officers in his “class” … Continue reading Ned Trek 27: Who Mourns for Science? →

The Free Enterprise brings a group of orphan children on board only to discover that they have joined in a diabolical patricidal conspiracy organized by a Crap-faced angel.

Plot Summary The crew of the Free Enterprise travels to psych ward planet Planet Crawford Two (not a typo) to deliver precious clue-giving anti-psychotic pretzels to Commodore George W. Bush, who is interned on the planet under the questionable care of Dr. Paul Wolfowitz, far from the terrestrial hoofed creatures (i.e. horses and cows) that … Continue reading Ned Trek 24: Whom Gods Deploy →