Needed to Hear That!

What if surrender isn't a sign of weakness, but the beginning of freedom?

On this episode of Needed To Hear That, Chris and Chaz explore the relationship between acceptance, surrender, and our constant desire to control the things happening around us.

Through conversations about recovery, Buddhism, spirituality, aging, and life's inevitable uncertainties, they challenge the idea that surrender means giving up.

They also explore how our need for control influences everything from relationships to sports gambling, why uncertainty can be an opportunity for spiritual growth, and how learning to let go can actually be liberating.

But perhaps the most important lesson is that surrender doesn't have to happen alone. Sometimes the greatest act of courage is allowing ourselves to fall apart in front of people who will help us put the pieces back together.

You don't have to control everything. And you don't have to carry everything by yourself.

Maybe you needed to hear that.

The holidays are supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. But what happens when they're not?

For some, Thanksgiving and Christmas mean family, tradition, and cherished memories. For others, they bring anxiety, complicated relationships, overwhelming expectations, grief, or the challenge of protecting their sobriety.

On this episode of Needed To Hear That, Chris and Chaz explore why the holiday season can be one of the most emotionally demanding times of the year—and why so many people feel obligated to pretend otherwise.

Building on last week's conversation about caregiving and invisible labor, they discuss the often-unseen work that goes into making the holidays happen, the pressure to maintain family traditions, and the emotional toll of navigating difficult relationships.

They also examine why grief can feel especially heavy during the holidays, how family gatherings can create challenges for people in recovery, and the importance of making a plan before walking into potentially difficult situations.

Most importantly, Chaz offers a reminder that sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is acknowledge that something is hard, give yourself permission to set boundaries, and ask for support when you need it.

Because you can appreciate the beauty of the holidays without pretending that every part of them is beautiful.

What happens when the person everyone depends on finally needs someone to depend on?

This week on Needed To Hear That, Chris and Chaz explore the emotional and invisible labor that keeps families together, often without recognition or appreciation. Inspired by a recent Parenting Underground event, they discuss the responsibilities of being the default caregiver, the emotional toll of constantly putting others first, and why asking for help shouldn't mean having to manage the help you're asking for.

Chaz also shares the powerful Greek myth of Demeter and Persephone, drawing a connection between an ancient story of a mother's grief and the modern reality of caregivers who are expected to keep everything running, even when their own worlds are falling apart.

Plus, the guys discuss former NHL goaltender Clint Malarchuk's remarkable story of survival, the pressure to push through pain, and the importance of supporting professionals who dedicate their lives to helping others.

Sometimes the people who seem to have everything under control are the ones who need support the most.

Maybe you needed to hear that.

In this rewind episode of Needed to Hear That, Chris and Chaz take a thoughtful, honest look at loneliness, not just as being alone, but as the painful feeling of being unseen, misunderstood, unrelatable, or cut off from real belonging.Chris and Chaz explore the courage it takes to stay open after being hurt, why belonging matters so deeply, and how safety in relationships can help people come out of isolation. They also unpack the difference between loneliness, isolation, and solitude, and why connection is not about how many people are around you, but whether you actually feel known.Later in the conversation, they get practical. They talk about how to show up for someone without trying to fix everything, why presence matters so much, and how curiosity can become a real antidote to loneliness. One of the most helpful takeaways in the episode is a simple question for supporting someone well: do you need me to hear, help, or just be here with you?If you’ve been feeling disconnected, emotionally worn down, or unsure how to support someone you care about, this episode is a grounded conversation about belonging, vulnerability, and what it means to help another person feel a little less alone.

On this episode of Needed to Hear That, Chaz and Pondoff start off dodging storms and talking about hail damage—but quickly land somewhere deeper: burnout, compassion fatigue, and the quiet question a lot of people don’t know how to answer...what actually helps you feel like yourself again?They unpack the difference between real self-care and the watered-down version we see online, and why something as simple as sitting in bed watching TV with someone you love might be more meaningful than anything that looks “productive.”There’s also an honest look at:- Why people in helping roles, recovery, or caregiving roles get drained—and how that doesn’t mean something’s wrong with them- The fear of being “selfish”…and how that fear keeps people stuck- Why starting therapy, asking for help, or making any real change can be messy, slow, and full of false starts- The pressure to optimize everything—even rest—and why that backfires- How many people don’t actually know what they enjoy anymore…and how to start figuring that outAlong the way, they talk about codependency, boundaries, recovery, therapy, and the strange reality that doing something good for yourself can sometimes feel scarier than helping someone else.This one’s less about fixing everything and more about noticing what gives you energy, what drains it, and whether you’ve ever really been given permission to find out.

Accountability usually sounds like something that happens when you've screwed up. But what if we've been thinking about it the wrong way?This week on Needed to Hear That, Chris and Chaz talk about what real accountability looks like, to ourselves, to the people we love, and to the people who depend on us.Chris opens up about places in his own life where he's struggled to hold others accountable, while Chaz explains why accountability without trust, safety, and relationship can quickly become little more than criticism. They also get into boundaries, leadership, recovery, mentorship, asking for difficult feedback, and why constantly stepping in to fix everything for everyone else might not be the good leadership you think it is.And ultimately, accountability doesn't have to be a punishment. Sometimes taking responsibility for what you can control is one of the most freeing things you can do.

Enjoy some of the best moments from this summer's episodes of Needed To Hear That.

Chaz and Chris will be back next week with a brand new episode.

When was the last time you were actually bored?Not scrolling your phone. Not watching something in the background. Not checking social media, shopping, working, gambling, eating or finding another way to occupy your attention. Just… nothing to do.This week on Needed to Hear That, Chris and Chaz talk about why boredom has become increasingly difficult for us to tolerate and why learning to live with a little of it might actually matter.Chaz explains how our nearly unlimited access to stimulation has created a world where we rarely have to sit quietly with our thoughts, feelings or even a lack of distraction. And underneath what we casually call boredom can be something much deeper: FOMO, anxiety, comparison, loneliness and even the uncomfortable question of who we are when nobody is watching and there’s nothing to accomplish.The conversation also gets personal. Chris admits how quickly a quiet Saturday watching college football can turn into guilt that he’s “wasting time.” Chaz challenges the idea that our worth has to be constantly proven through productivity and asks what it would look like to become a little more comfortable with the ordinary, mundane parts of our lives. Because those boring moments—the quiet night with someone you love, the familiar routine, the coffee mug somebody decided was worth fixing, the afternoon where nothing particularly remarkable happens—aren’t necessarily time between the important parts.They might be the important parts.This week on Needed to Hear That: boredom, recovery, FOMO, productivity, rest, distraction and learning how not to wish our lives away.

Who takes care of the people who take care of everyone else?

This week on Needed to Hear That, Chaz and Chris talk about caregiving, not just as a profession, but as something almost all of us will be called to do at some point in our lives.

The conversation begins with grief and the loss of grandparents, including Chaz reflecting on caring for his grandmother at the end of her life and realizing years later that those small acts of care were some of the most significant things he has ever done. From there, they explore what happens to people who are constantly turning toward the needs and suffering of others.

They talk about parents, therapists, nurses, social workers, people caring for loved ones struggling with addiction, and anyone whose instinct is to make life a little easier for someone else. Chaz also challenges the idea that being healthy or strong means becoming completely self-sufficient. Eventually, every one of us will need someone else, and learning how to receive care may be just as important as learning how to give it.

Because if you're always the person who turns toward everyone else's suffering, there's an important question worth asking:

Who turns toward you?

What does it actually mean to be authentic?

We hear some version of “just be yourself” all the time. The problem is, sometimes figuring out who “yourself” actually is can be the hard part.

In Episode 30, Chaz and Chris dig into authenticity, what it looks like in recovery, therapy, relationships, spirituality and everyday life, and why trying to be authentic can sometimes become another expectation we put on ourselves.

They talk about Chris's approach to sharing his recovery story and why being open about the ugly parts can help other people feel safe enough to do the same. Chaz also pushes back on the idea that authenticity means being completely exposed all the time. Not everybody has earned every part of you, and keeping something sacred doesn't make you fake.

The conversation gets into the versions of ourselves we present to the world, why people need room to change, the pressure of social media, our instinct to judge ourselves and other people, and what happens when maintaining the person we're pretending to be becomes more exhausting than simply figuring out who we actually are.

🎙️ Needed To Hear That — Episode 30