Needed to Hear That!

On this episode of Needed to Hear That, Chaz and Pondoff start off dodging storms and talking about hail damage—but quickly land somewhere deeper: burnout, compassion fatigue, and the quiet question a lot of people don’t know how to answer...what actually helps you feel like yourself again?They unpack the difference between real self-care and the watered-down version we see online, and why something as simple as sitting in bed watching TV with someone you love might be more meaningful than anything that looks “productive.”There’s also an honest look at:- Why people in helping roles, recovery, or caregiving roles get drained—and how that doesn’t mean something’s wrong with them- The fear of being “selfish”…and how that fear keeps people stuck- Why starting therapy, asking for help, or making any real change can be messy, slow, and full of false starts- The pressure to optimize everything—even rest—and why that backfires- How many people don’t actually know what they enjoy anymore…and how to start figuring that outAlong the way, they talk about codependency, boundaries, recovery, therapy, and the strange reality that doing something good for yourself can sometimes feel scarier than helping someone else.This one’s less about fixing everything and more about noticing what gives you energy, what drains it, and whether you’ve ever really been given permission to find out.

Accountability usually sounds like something that happens when you've screwed up. But what if we've been thinking about it the wrong way?This week on Needed to Hear That, Chris and Chaz talk about what real accountability looks like, to ourselves, to the people we love, and to the people who depend on us.Chris opens up about places in his own life where he's struggled to hold others accountable, while Chaz explains why accountability without trust, safety, and relationship can quickly become little more than criticism. They also get into boundaries, leadership, recovery, mentorship, asking for difficult feedback, and why constantly stepping in to fix everything for everyone else might not be the good leadership you think it is.And ultimately, accountability doesn't have to be a punishment. Sometimes taking responsibility for what you can control is one of the most freeing things you can do.

Enjoy some of the best moments from this summer's episodes of Needed To Hear That.

Chaz and Chris will be back next week with a brand new episode.

When was the last time you were actually bored?Not scrolling your phone. Not watching something in the background. Not checking social media, shopping, working, gambling, eating or finding another way to occupy your attention. Just… nothing to do.This week on Needed to Hear That, Chris and Chaz talk about why boredom has become increasingly difficult for us to tolerate and why learning to live with a little of it might actually matter.Chaz explains how our nearly unlimited access to stimulation has created a world where we rarely have to sit quietly with our thoughts, feelings or even a lack of distraction. And underneath what we casually call boredom can be something much deeper: FOMO, anxiety, comparison, loneliness and even the uncomfortable question of who we are when nobody is watching and there’s nothing to accomplish.The conversation also gets personal. Chris admits how quickly a quiet Saturday watching college football can turn into guilt that he’s “wasting time.” Chaz challenges the idea that our worth has to be constantly proven through productivity and asks what it would look like to become a little more comfortable with the ordinary, mundane parts of our lives. Because those boring moments—the quiet night with someone you love, the familiar routine, the coffee mug somebody decided was worth fixing, the afternoon where nothing particularly remarkable happens—aren’t necessarily time between the important parts.They might be the important parts.This week on Needed to Hear That: boredom, recovery, FOMO, productivity, rest, distraction and learning how not to wish our lives away.

Who takes care of the people who take care of everyone else?

This week on Needed to Hear That, Chaz and Chris talk about caregiving, not just as a profession, but as something almost all of us will be called to do at some point in our lives.

The conversation begins with grief and the loss of grandparents, including Chaz reflecting on caring for his grandmother at the end of her life and realizing years later that those small acts of care were some of the most significant things he has ever done. From there, they explore what happens to people who are constantly turning toward the needs and suffering of others.

They talk about parents, therapists, nurses, social workers, people caring for loved ones struggling with addiction, and anyone whose instinct is to make life a little easier for someone else. Chaz also challenges the idea that being healthy or strong means becoming completely self-sufficient. Eventually, every one of us will need someone else, and learning how to receive care may be just as important as learning how to give it.

Because if you're always the person who turns toward everyone else's suffering, there's an important question worth asking:

Who turns toward you?

What does it actually mean to be authentic?

We hear some version of “just be yourself” all the time. The problem is, sometimes figuring out who “yourself” actually is can be the hard part.

In Episode 30, Chaz and Chris dig into authenticity, what it looks like in recovery, therapy, relationships, spirituality and everyday life, and why trying to be authentic can sometimes become another expectation we put on ourselves.

They talk about Chris's approach to sharing his recovery story and why being open about the ugly parts can help other people feel safe enough to do the same. Chaz also pushes back on the idea that authenticity means being completely exposed all the time. Not everybody has earned every part of you, and keeping something sacred doesn't make you fake.

The conversation gets into the versions of ourselves we present to the world, why people need room to change, the pressure of social media, our instinct to judge ourselves and other people, and what happens when maintaining the person we're pretending to be becomes more exhausting than simply figuring out who we actually are.

🎙️ Needed To Hear That — Episode 30

When did we decide that play was just for kids?

This week on Needed to Hear That, Chaz and Chris explore the role that imagination, creativity and play have in our mental and emotional lives—and why we tend to abandon them as we get older.

Chaz shares how storytelling and guided imagination can help us encounter parts of ourselves that we've pushed away, while Chris reflects on parenting, screen time, play therapy and what happens when we stop giving ourselves room to simply mess around.

From golf and running 40-yard dashes to mahjong, video games and playing cards, the conversation becomes a reminder that something doesn't have to make you money, make you better or accomplish anything to be meaningful. Play gives us a place to learn, connect, imagine and sometimes even heal.

Because maybe wasting a little time isn't actually wasting it at all.

Chaz and Chris explore what it really means to have compassion for someone who is struggling — especially when their struggle looks different from your own.

Chaz reflects on being invited to speak at a Catholic novena about supporting people healing from addiction and explains why his message centered on one idea: the person struggling with addiction is not separate from us. We’ve all felt pulled toward things we knew weren’t good for us, and pretending otherwise only creates more shame and distance.

From there, the conversation moves through addiction, depression, faith, Buddhism and Christianity, including Chaz’s idea of “fierce compassion” — love strong enough to confront suffering without condemning the person experiencing it.

Chaz also turns to The Odyssey and the image of Odysseus tied to the mast as a metaphor for coping skills, recovery, spirituality and the people or practices that keep us tethered when self-destruction starts calling.

Sometimes strength doesn’t mean never hearing the sirens. Sometimes it means having something strong enough to keep you on the ship.

And when life becomes impossible — depression, grief, relapse, panic, loss — maybe the question isn’t always “How did I get here?”

Maybe it’s simply “How do I be here?”An episode about humility, dependence, suffering, faith and remembering that none of us are as far away from the rocks as we’d like to believe.

What does it actually mean to help someone?Chris and Chaz start with the work of the Eleven Foundation and the complicated reality of rebuilding a life after treatment. Chaz draws on his experience in social work and case management to explain why helping someone isn't as simple as handing them a list of resources. Food, shelter, recovery, mental health—our needs are deeply personal, and meaningful support starts with understanding the person behind them.From there, the conversation takes an unexpected turn into hoarding, our attachment to possessions, and why letting go can be so difficult. Sometimes the things we hold onto aren't valuable because of what they are—they're valuable because of what they've represented to us. And sometimes what we're terrified of discarding isn't really the object at all.Chris brings the conversation full circle with recovery, remembering what it was like to finally give up alcohol—the thing that had become his friend, his comfort and his security—and walk into treatment with a duffel bag to begin an entirely different life.It's a conversation about compassion, attachment, recovery, and the uncomfortable truth that none of us gets through life entirely on our own.

Starting something new is hard. Starting over can feel even harder.

This week, Chaz and Chris explore why taking that first step back toward something healthy can feel so overwhelming. Whether it's returning to recovery after a relapse, finding a therapist, joining a support group, going back to church, or picking up a habit that's been good for you in the past, the hardest part is often convincing yourself to begin.

They discuss the fear of being judged, the stories we tell ourselves about why we shouldn't go back, and why vulnerability is often the price of growth. Along the way, they share personal experiences, talk about the importance of safe communities, and remind listeners that there's courage in simply showing up.

If you've been waiting for the "right time" to make a change, this conversation might be the nudge you needed.