Who takes care of the people who take care of everyone else?

This week on Needed to Hear That, Chaz and Chris talk about caregiving, not just as a profession, but as something almost all of us will be called to do at some point in our lives.

The conversation begins with grief and the loss of grandparents, including Chaz reflecting on caring for his grandmother at the end of her life and realizing years later that those small acts of care were some of the most significant things he has ever done. From there, they explore what happens to people who are constantly turning toward the needs and suffering of others.

They talk about parents, therapists, nurses, social workers, people caring for loved ones struggling with addiction, and anyone whose instinct is to make life a little easier for someone else. Chaz also challenges the idea that being healthy or strong means becoming completely self-sufficient. Eventually, every one of us will need someone else, and learning how to receive care may be just as important as learning how to give it.

Because if you're always the person who turns toward everyone else's suffering, there's an important question worth asking:

Who turns toward you?

What does it actually mean to be authentic?

We hear some version of “just be yourself” all the time. The problem is, sometimes figuring out who “yourself” actually is can be the hard part.

In Episode 30, Chaz and Chris dig into authenticity, what it looks like in recovery, therapy, relationships, spirituality and everyday life, and why trying to be authentic can sometimes become another expectation we put on ourselves.

They talk about Chris's approach to sharing his recovery story and why being open about the ugly parts can help other people feel safe enough to do the same. Chaz also pushes back on the idea that authenticity means being completely exposed all the time. Not everybody has earned every part of you, and keeping something sacred doesn't make you fake.

The conversation gets into the versions of ourselves we present to the world, why people need room to change, the pressure of social media, our instinct to judge ourselves and other people, and what happens when maintaining the person we're pretending to be becomes more exhausting than simply figuring out who we actually are.

🎙️ Needed To Hear That — Episode 30

When did we decide that play was just for kids?

This week on Needed to Hear That, Chaz and Chris explore the role that imagination, creativity and play have in our mental and emotional lives—and why we tend to abandon them as we get older.

Chaz shares how storytelling and guided imagination can help us encounter parts of ourselves that we've pushed away, while Chris reflects on parenting, screen time, play therapy and what happens when we stop giving ourselves room to simply mess around.

From golf and running 40-yard dashes to mahjong, video games and playing cards, the conversation becomes a reminder that something doesn't have to make you money, make you better or accomplish anything to be meaningful. Play gives us a place to learn, connect, imagine and sometimes even heal.

Because maybe wasting a little time isn't actually wasting it at all.

Chaz and Chris explore what it really means to have compassion for someone who is struggling — especially when their struggle looks different from your own.

Chaz reflects on being invited to speak at a Catholic novena about supporting people healing from addiction and explains why his message centered on one idea: the person struggling with addiction is not separate from us. We’ve all felt pulled toward things we knew weren’t good for us, and pretending otherwise only creates more shame and distance.

From there, the conversation moves through addiction, depression, faith, Buddhism and Christianity, including Chaz’s idea of “fierce compassion” — love strong enough to confront suffering without condemning the person experiencing it.

Chaz also turns to The Odyssey and the image of Odysseus tied to the mast as a metaphor for coping skills, recovery, spirituality and the people or practices that keep us tethered when self-destruction starts calling.

Sometimes strength doesn’t mean never hearing the sirens. Sometimes it means having something strong enough to keep you on the ship.

And when life becomes impossible — depression, grief, relapse, panic, loss — maybe the question isn’t always “How did I get here?”

Maybe it’s simply “How do I be here?”An episode about humility, dependence, suffering, faith and remembering that none of us are as far away from the rocks as we’d like to believe.

What does it actually mean to help someone?Chris and Chaz start with the work of the Eleven Foundation and the complicated reality of rebuilding a life after treatment. Chaz draws on his experience in social work and case management to explain why helping someone isn't as simple as handing them a list of resources. Food, shelter, recovery, mental health—our needs are deeply personal, and meaningful support starts with understanding the person behind them.From there, the conversation takes an unexpected turn into hoarding, our attachment to possessions, and why letting go can be so difficult. Sometimes the things we hold onto aren't valuable because of what they are—they're valuable because of what they've represented to us. And sometimes what we're terrified of discarding isn't really the object at all.Chris brings the conversation full circle with recovery, remembering what it was like to finally give up alcohol—the thing that had become his friend, his comfort and his security—and walk into treatment with a duffel bag to begin an entirely different life.It's a conversation about compassion, attachment, recovery, and the uncomfortable truth that none of us gets through life entirely on our own.

Starting something new is hard. Starting over can feel even harder.

This week, Chaz and Chris explore why taking that first step back toward something healthy can feel so overwhelming. Whether it's returning to recovery after a relapse, finding a therapist, joining a support group, going back to church, or picking up a habit that's been good for you in the past, the hardest part is often convincing yourself to begin.

They discuss the fear of being judged, the stories we tell ourselves about why we shouldn't go back, and why vulnerability is often the price of growth. Along the way, they share personal experiences, talk about the importance of safe communities, and remind listeners that there's courage in simply showing up.

If you've been waiting for the "right time" to make a change, this conversation might be the nudge you needed.

What if the most meaningful moments in life aren't the big ones?

This week, Chaz and Chris reflect on the places and routines that quietly shape us. What begins as a conversation about a family vacation to Table Rock Lake turns into a deeper discussion about slowing down, finding peace in simplicity, and creating spaces where people feel safe to be themselves.

They explore why so many of us come home from vacation needing another vacation, the difference between escaping your life and stepping away from it for a while, and why the most restorative experiences are often the least complicated. Along the way, they talk about the power of weekly rituals, the importance of community, and how places like Underground become more than events—they become anchors for people who need them.

Whether it's a picnic table overlooking a lake, a Wednesday night support group, a cup of coffee with a friend, or an evening walk, this episode is a reminder that peace isn't usually found somewhere else—it's built through the small things we're willing to return to again and again.

This week, Chaz and Chris welcome Morgan Coyner, Executive Vice President of Addiction Professionals of North Carolina, for an honest conversation about attachment theory and why our earliest relationships continue shaping the way we love, trust, grieve, and recover.Together, they unpack secure and insecure attachment, childhood experiences that quietly shape adulthood, the biology behind connection, and why healing isn't about fixing what's "wrong" with you—it's about learning to care for the parts of yourself that have been carrying too much for too long. They explore recovery, dating while sober, grief, parts work, therapy, and the courage it takes to build healthier relationships with both ourselves and the people we love.Whether you've ever wondered why certain relationships feel so difficult, why rejection hits so deeply, or why you respond the way you do under stress, this is a conversation that just might help everything make a little more sense.

This week, Chaz and Chris start with Blues hockey, childhood memories, and parenting before stumbling into one of their most meaningful conversations yet. They explore the stories we tell ourselves, why comparison steals so much joy, and how the way we speak to ourselves often becomes the loudest voice in the room.From Charlie's love of video games to the curiosity we lose as adults, the discussion winds through Buddhism, therapy, self-compassion, and the lifelong challenge of quieting our inner critic. Along the way, they ask an important question: What if the way you talk to yourself is the very thing holding you back?Sometimes the hardest person to be kind to is yourself—and maybe that's exactly what you needed to hear._____________________Illinois Recovery Center:⁠ https://illinoisrecoverycenter.com/⁠Find us on Facebook, Instagram, & YouTube.⁠https://www.facebook.com/pondoffsanonymous⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/pondoffsanonymous⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@pondoffsanonymous⁠

In this episode of Needed to Hear That, Chris and Chaz unpack the ways comparison quietly shapes our lives—from social media and money to parenting, relationships, careers, and self-worth. Why do we assume everyone else has it figured out? Why do we look at other people's highlight reels and conclude we're somehow falling behind?

The conversation explores how comparison can leave us feeling disconnected, inadequate, and stuck chasing goals that were never truly ours to begin with. Along the way, they discuss authenticity, the pressure to "have it all together," the danger of treating other people as finished products, and why it's okay to admit that you don't always know what you want next.

If you've ever felt like everyone else got the manual for life and you're still trying to figure it out as you go, this episode is a reminder that you're not alone—and that the path forward may start with letting go of comparison altogether.