In this episode of Needed to Hear That, Chris and Chaz talk about what therapy actually looks like, especially for people who have thought about reaching out but still feel unsure, intimidated, or not “bad enough” to ask for help.

They get into why asking for help can feel so hard, what a healthy therapy process can look like, and how the right therapist helps you move carefully, not forcefully. Chaz also explains the philosophy behind LightSource, including the lantern in its branding and the idea of becoming “a lamp unto yourself,” illuminating one next step at a time instead of trying to light up everything at once.

Later, the conversation turns practical. Chris asks the kinds of questions a lot of people have but don’t always know how to say out loud, like how specialties work, what kinds of therapy different clinicians offer, whether brainspotting is actually invasive, what level of care makes sense for different situations, and why it’s ok to leave therapy, come back, and not carry shame about that.

It’s a thoughtful conversation about self-trust, support, attunement, pace, and giving people better language for taking that first step.

Timestamps:

00:00 Sponsor: McKelvey Insurance Group

00:41 Intro and table talk

02:08 Chris admits he’s feeling off

03:25 Sports, grief, and emotional honesty

06:09 Why this episode matters

07:27 Normalizing hard conversations

09:21 The “blue vest” metaphor

11:15 How do we ask for help?

11:45 Becoming “a lamp unto yourself”

12:42 The LightSource lantern and what it means

14:08 Why asking for help feels hard

16:21 Why LightSource wants people to find therapy, not just their therapy

18:09 Why therapy itself matters

20:00 Your reasons for seeking help are valid

21:26 Do therapists have specialties?

23:06 What brainspotting actually is

24:17 Is it still talk therapy?

24:33 What are your eyes following?

24:57 It’s not invasive

26:32 Activated vs triggered

28:19 Chris jokes about intense hockey coach therapy

29:10 Dissociation and how the mind protects itself

31:47 Therapy should be uncomfortable, not unsafe

34:23 Matching people to the right kind of care

35:39 Addiction, outpatient therapy, and higher levels of care

37:54 What happens in crisis situations

41:38 Psychiatrist vs therapist

44:14 Meeting people where they are

46:53 Why it’s hard to ask for what you need in therapy

49:26 You can stop therapy and come back

50:30 The shame people feel about returning

54:05 What to look for in a therapist

55:19 Therapy is about you

57:47 Talking around the real thing

01:00:45 Why therapists respect the process

01:02:28 “Is there anything we haven’t been talking about that we should?”

01:05:16 Why this work matters

01:06:11 Chris makes the case that everybody should have a therapist

01:09:19 Therapy as high risk, slow reward

01:11:47 Closing thoughts

Sponsored by McKelvey Insurance Group:

This episode is sponsored by McKelvey Insurance Group. If you’ve ever felt confused or overwhelmed by insurance, McKelvey Insurance Group keeps it simple. They’re an independent agency, which means they compare options from multiple providers to find coverage that actually fits you, not just one company’s policy. No pressure, no jargon, just honest guidance and real help. Get a quick quote or a policy review at mckelveyins.com or call 618-623-0080.

In this episode of Needed to Hear That, Chris Pondoff and Chaz Franke take a thoughtful, honest look at loneliness, not just as being alone, but as the painful feeling of being unseen, misunderstood, unrelatable, or cut off from real belonging.

Chris and Chaz explore the courage it takes to stay open after being hurt, why belonging matters so deeply, and how safety in relationships can help people come out of isolation. They also unpack the difference between loneliness, isolation, and solitude, and why connection is not about how many people are around you, but whether you actually feel known.

Later in the conversation, they get practical. They talk about how to show up for someone without trying to fix everything, why presence matters so much, and how curiosity can become a real antidote to loneliness. One of the most helpful takeaways in the episode is a simple question for supporting someone well: do you need me to hear, help, or just be here with you?

If you’ve been feeling disconnected, emotionally worn down, or unsure how to support someone you care about, this episode is a grounded conversation about belonging, vulnerability, and what it means to help another person feel a little less alone.

Chapters

00:00 Conference Insights on Child Advocacy
06:15 The Importance of Community and Connection
14:44 Exploring Loneliness and Belonging
23:00 Understanding the Depth of Loneliness
31:43 Courage in Vulnerability and Connection
42:06 The Power of Presence and Listening
44:13 Understanding Loneliness and Connection
49:15 Navigating Relationships and Vulnerability
55:25 The Challenges of Adolescence and Belonging
01:00:05 Curiosity as a Tool Against Loneliness
01:21:51 Closing Thoughts on Connection and Humanity

Sponsors

McKelvey Insurance Group
https://mckelveyins.com

LightSource Psychotherapy
https://findyourlightsource.com

Grief Isn’t Linear: Ambiguous Loss, Overdose Stigma, and the Power of Small Steps

Grief has a way of showing up everywhere—after a death, a breakup, a diagnosis, a job change, even in the quiet after a life you thought would look different. In this episode, Chaz and Chris sit with the reality that loss is woven into the human experience, and that so much of healing is learning to stop rushing the process. They talk about why “moving on” language misses the point, how anniversaries can hit unexpectedly hard, and why grief doesn’t shrink just because you find yourself smiling again.

They also explore the layers that make certain kinds of grief harder to name—disenfranchised grief, ambiguous loss, and the grief that comes with addiction and overdose, where stigma often adds another wound. The conversation closes with grounded, practical encouragement for anyone feeling stuck: you don’t have to go from zero to sixty. Sometimes the most life-changing thing you can do is take one small, safe step toward support.

00:00 — Sponsors

01:26 — Why Grief Keeps Showing Up

08:23 — Losing Grandma (Real Life Grief)

10:05 — Anniversaries Hit Hard

16:55 — Overdose, Language, Stigma

24:09 — Platitudes & Blame

30:19 — Mortality Wake-Up Call

33:52 — Guilt, Anger, The Inventory

44:51 — Chris: Losing Tom

49:00 — “Dog In A Trap” Compassion

56:22 — Breakups, Divorce, Grief

01:13:53 — Grieving The Living (Ambiguous Loss)

01:16:19 — Finding Grief Support

01:22:22 — Small Steps Forward

01:27:56 — Closing + Sponsors

Thanks to our sponsors, McKelvey Insurance — https://www.mckelveyins.com

and LightSource Psychotherapy — https://www.findyourlightsource.com

There’s a quiet but powerful shift that happens when we move from shame to grace. In this episode, we unpack the difference between guilt and shame, why behavior change built on criticism rarely lasts, and how grace creates the safety necessary for real transformation. From body image and self-perception to the deeply human need to be seen without judgment, this conversation explores what it actually takes to live authentically—especially when parts of our story feel heavy or hard to share.

We also dive into the 12 Steps as a change model, the liberating experience of forgiveness, and the role therapy plays as a container for healing. Through stories of humility, active listening, unconditional positive regard, and the tension between validation and enabling, we reflect on what it means to create safe spaces—for others and for ourselves. At its core, this episode is about learning to extend compassion inward, trusting that even our most flawed moments don’t disqualify us from belonging.

00:00 Introduction and Sponsorships
02:54 Body Image and Self-Perception
06:02 Shame vs. Guilt in Health Discussions
09:01 The Role of Grace in Authenticity
11:55 Sharing Personal Stories and Vulnerability
15:05 Experiencing Grace and Forgiveness
18:03 Non-Judgmental Living and Spiritual Insights
21:01 The 12 Steps as a Change Model
26:23 The Power of Grace and Forgiveness
32:00 Experiencing Humility and Self-Compassion
37:46 The Journey of Self-Forgiveness
48:09 Therapy: A Space for Healing and Growth
57:19 Authentic Validation vs. Enabling Behavior
58:09 The Authenticity of Listening in Therapy
01:01:46 The Pressure of Parental Expectations in Therapy
01:05:08 The Power of Active Listening
01:09:56 Unconditional Positive Regard in Therapy
01:14:54 The Importance of Authenticity in Therapeutic Relationships
01:19:46 Creating Safe Spaces for Vulnerability
01:25:44 The Role of Ego in Helping Professions
01:28:38 Common Humanity and Self-Compassion

Thanks to our sponsors,McKelvey InsuranceandLightSource Psychotherapy

Reckless Generosity, Grief, and the People Who Hold Us When We Fall

Sponsored by

McKelvey Insurance

https://www.mckelveyins.com

LightSource Psychotherapy

https://findyourlightsource.com

Episode Description

What does it really mean to be generous without losing yourself in the process?

In this episode, Chaz and Pondoff talk about reckless generosity, grief, vulnerability, mentorship, and the people who hold us up when life gets heavy. The idea of “reckless generosity” becomes a starting point for exploring how giving can be deeply human and life-giving, while also requiring boundaries and support to be sustainable.

The conversation moves through grief and loss, including why grief doesn’t follow neat stages, why meaning can’t be forced, and how community can be both healing and complicated. There’s an honest look at vulnerability, especially for people who are known for being “strong,” and how asking for help can feel harder than enduring pain alone.

Mentorship and friendship take center stage as well, highlighting the importance of safe people, emotional support, and the quiet power of not having to go through life alone. From recovery spaces to everyday relationships, this episode is a reminder that healing happens best in connection.

Chapters

00:00 – The Power of Generosity

11:25 – Understanding Grief and Loss

16:52 – Building Community and Relationships

20:07 – The Importance of Vulnerability

32:08 – The Role of Mentorship

54:07 – Friendship and Emotional Support

Hosted by Chaz Franke & Chris Pondoff

In Episode 2 of Needed to Hear That, Chaz Franke and Chris Pondoff sit with one of the most universal—and uncomfortable—realities of being human: change. From addiction and recovery to mental health, relationships, careers, and grief, this conversation explores why change is so hard, why resistance is normal, and why compassion matters more than pressure.

Chaz brings his clinical and spiritual perspective to unpack impermanence, the stages of change, and the quiet heroism of simply showing up—especially when life feels overwhelming. Chris grounds the conversation in lived experience, recovery, and community, reflecting on how growth requires patience, humility, and a willingness to try again.

This episode isn’t about forcing transformation. It’s about honoring timing, recognizing courage in small steps, and reminding listeners that struggling doesn’t mean failing—it means being human. If you’re navigating change, resisting it, or exhausted by it, this may be something you needed to hear.

• Why humans are biologically and emotionally wired to resist change
• The difference between maintenance and complacency in recovery
• Impermanence as both a source of fear and hope
• Why “just stop” is never a helpful intervention
• The stages of change and how we move through them non-linearly
• Compassion for people stuck in difficult jobs, relationships, or mental health struggles
• Therapy as a long-term container for healing and self-understanding
• Small steps as legitimate, heroic acts of change
• Writing, reflection, and gentleness as tools for growth

• 00:00 — Introduction & the heart behind Needed to Hear That
• 14:56 — The challenge of change in recovery
• 24:04 — Understanding the nature of change
• 30:54 — Impermanence and what it means to be human
• 38:00 — The resilience of the human spirit
• 43:38 — Therapeutic relationships and long-term healing
• 50:50 — Stages of change: preparation, action, maintenance
• 01:02:44 — Compassion in the face of struggle
• 01:07:42 — Writing as a tool for reflection and growth

Final Thought
Change doesn’t require perfection. It requires patience, safety, and often—other people walking alongside us. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is take the smallest possible step and trust that it counts.

Sponsored by McKelvey Insurance
http://mckelveyins.com

In this first episode of Needed to Hear That, Chaz Franke and Chris Pondoff introduce a new kind of conversation.

Less about dramatic turning points, more about what it actually means to be human… grief, connection, therapy, and the quiet work of healing that happens in between the big moments.

This show is a space to slow down, reflect, and talk honestly about the things most of us carry but don’t always have language for.

If Pondoff’s Anonymous is about the story, Needed to Hear That is about what comes next.

In this episode:

• Why this show exists and how it’s different
• The story of Diego, a three-legged dog who became an unexpected teacher
• Grief as something we carry, not something we “get over”
• Why pets often feel easier to love, and harder to lose
• How loss shows up in recovery and mental health
• The importance of connection, shared stories, and being heard
• Therapy as a lifelong learning process
• Creating safe spaces for honest conversation
• Loneliness, isolation, and what they do to us
• What a Death Cafe is, and why talking about death can help us live better

Chapters:

• 00:00 Introduction to the Show
• 01:33 The Launch of Needed to Hear That
• 02:52 The Story of Diego: A Three-Legged Teacher
• 06:40 Navigating Grief and Loss
• 12:02 The Uncomplicated Love of Pets
• 18:04 The Impact of Grief on Recovery
• 23:54 Finding Connection Through Shared Stories
• 29:55 The Importance of Lifelong Learning in Therapy
• 43:57 The Importance of Therapy
• 44:30 Navigating Grief and Loss
• 46:15 Creating Safe Spaces in Therapy
• 49:27 The Role of Connection in Healing
• 52:01 Understanding Loneliness and Isolation
• 01:00:00 The Death Cafe: A Space for Conversations on Death
• 01:10:35 Closing Thoughts on Healing and Humanity

Sponsors:

This show is sponsored by people who support the work without needing the spotlight.

McKelvey Insurance
Independent insurance guidance from people who actually pick up the phone.
https://www.mckelveyins.com

LightSource Psychotherapy
Thoughtful, human-centered therapy with clinicians who take your story seriously.
https://findyourlightsource.com

If you’ve ever listened to a powerful story and thought, “Yeah… but now what?” — Needed to Hear That is for you.

Hey everyone, this is an AI voice because we needed a placeholder before the first episode. Sorry about that... So let me tell you about this new show. Needed to Hear That hosted by Chaz and Pondoff exists because most conversations about mental health don’t sound like real life. They’re either buried in clinical language or wrapped in forced optimism that ignores how hard things actually are. This show lives in the in-between space… where growth is uneven, healing is messy, and people are doing their best.

Hosted by therapist Chaz Franke and Chris Pondoff, the podcast explores anxiety, trauma, recovery, relationships, identity, and the ongoing work of becoming healthier humans. These aren’t lectures or self-help sermons. They’re honest conversations grounded in real experience and practical insight.

Chaz brings clarity from the therapy room without the jargon. Pondoff brings lived experience, curiosity, and a willingness to name the uncomfortable parts out loud. Together, they create conversations that are informed without being preachy, vulnerable without being performative, and serious without losing their humanity.

There are no quick fixes here. No fake positivity. Just thoughtful dialogue, perspective, and language that helps people understand themselves a little better.

Part of the Pondoff Network.