Never Perfect

Today Vanderbilt trained physician Patricia McLelland addresses 10 common questions about menopause and hormones. Topics include how to know when you need hormones, how to decide which hormones to take, the benefits of hormones, the safest way to take them, etc. Patricia approaches medicine from an integrative standpoint, recommending holistic and botanical tools whenever possible. She focuses on nutrition, exercise, stress management, good quality, sleep, botanicals, and medications as the ways to stay as healthy as possible during menopause. She highly recommends Dr. Aviva Romm’s podcast and articles on the topic as well. Link to Dr. Romm’s podcast is HERE

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After raising two daughters with allergies and working in the health and beauty industry for over 20 years, Kim Grustas founded 

Good For You Girls, the first clean skincare company for girls in the United States. Kim has spent many years studying puberty and views it as a miraculous phase to be celebrated. Today she shares her views on puberty and how she talks about it with young girls and parents, emphasizing the fact that it is not happening TO you as much as it is happening FOR you. 

To learn more about Kim’s mission with clean and healthy living for adolescents and girls, VISIT HERE

For a 20% discount, enter code neverperfect20

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Author Sasha Saidman knows what it’s like to have struggles with learning and to question your intelligence. As a person with dyslexia and a high school dropout, Sasha is passionate about helping other individuals with learning disabilities discover their gifts and realize how intelligent they truly are, and embracing themselves as “outside the box thinners.” Today she shares her childhood story of being in a family who provided emotional safety and urged her to advocate for herself. She and Dr. Beth offer some of their favorite parenting advice, highlighting the importance of emotional safety, Sasha has written children’s books about dyslexia, adoption, and other topics. To learn more about her book “Melonade” and others, go to sashasaidman.com

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Thanks to a conversation about licorice with a dental tech, Dr. Beth got to hear a wonderful story about a young woman’s struggles with severe anxiety. This woman, Erika Derryberry, she how she got her anxiety to a manageable level, from antidepressant medication to EMDR to neurofeedback, meanwhile developing a huge passion for holistic medicine and natural cures. Today Erika shares her story with Dr. Beth.

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Today Dr. Beth attempts to get some free counseling from her listeners as she processes some recent parenting mistakes in her own family. She discussed some of the components of executive functioning which she, and most parents with ADHD) are lacking in. these include skills, such as decision-making, prioritizing, planning ahead, and organizing. Beth shares a few examples how poor planning can cause a lot of unnecessary distress and disappointment. She urges other parents to learn from her mistakes and to be a better captain of their families ship, so to speak.

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Years ago, Beth came up with the term “Overfunctioner” and frequently talks about this with clients and friends who tend to overwork, overperform, do more than their share, and frequently have trouble being on the receiving end of things. There are a variety of potential reasons that people overfunction, including perfectionism, childhood trauma, feelings of insecurity or inadequacy, feeling that love and approval is conditional, etc. Beth is passionate about helping people like this and today she shares a couple examples of people who worked through these issues and learned to love, value and protect themselves more and to exercise greater self compassion. 

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Today Beth records a spontaneous podcast on parenting, and shares her own personal struggles with it, as well a couple of client examples. She summarizes the parenting research on authoritative parenting and illustrates the principles using a fish tank/aquarium. In essence, parenting that is too strict and too much like a dictatorship doesn’t lead to optimal outcomes for children, but permissive and overly lenient parenting doesn’t either. The ideal is in the middle, but Beth admits that she’s too democratic in her parenting style, and talks a little bit about how that backfires. The ideal is a balance. Beth also talks about how her own ADHD relates to having traits of a “passive parenting”, or being too permissive at times, and how this relates to deficits and executive functioning (making decisions, planning ahead, being organized, etc.). Although it’s not always a parent, kids really want parents to be the captain of the ship, as long as there’s not too much rigidity and excessive control.

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In this 10 minute episode, Beth shares a few examples of how perfectionism or overestimating a task/situation can lead to procrastination and all our nothing thinking. A common behavior and anxious, depressed or ADHD individuals is overestimating the difficulty of something and underestimating yourself. Analysis paralysis is similar. Beth shares three examples of this behavior in today’s episode.

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In his mid 40s, Jeff Barry, an “oops” baby, became passionate about his life story, the heroes and the villains he’d encountered, and the life lessons along the way. His book “Go to Hell Ole Miss” is clearly a passion project, and one that he couldn’t sit down until he got it almost perfect. An editor told him it was ready to publish about a year into the process, but he spent another seven years developing the characters in a “pitch perfect “ way, according to a fellow author. Somehow, Jeff manages to tackle big picture issues such as racism, misogyny, southern culture, religion, and family dysfunction in an entertaining way. Jeff poured himself into this project, even talking to the characters out loud while he was writing the story. He even shares his struggle with depression when the project was over.

Check out his website HERE

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Today, Beth asks dietitian Ellie, Paulauskaite for her top 10 pieces of nutrition advice. Ellie provides some amazing and simple guidelines to help with a big picture approach to giving our bodies what they need. Her advice includes:

1) eating whole grains instead of refined grains

2) making sure that half of your plate includes veggies and fruits, especially veggies

3) having small amounts of protein at every meal

4) mindful, eating, slowing down and being aware of and grateful for what you’re eating

5) having fermented foods daily in order to improve gut health

6) The three pillars of a healthy lifestyle include nutrition (eg, a Mediterranean diet), movement, and community/connection

7) limiting overprocessed food (and explaining what that means)

8) meal prepping and having quick/realistic “go to” recipes

9) eat the colors of the rainbow for more variety and diversity

10) keep an eye on your bowel movements because they can tell you a lot about your health and nutrition. (number 10 gave Beth an opportunity to show her immature side with a little giggle, partly because Ellie added this 10th one unexpectedly.) 

If you would like to set up a consultation with Ellie, you can check out her website sceniccitynutrition.com or email her at [email protected] or call/text her at 423-708-2322

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