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Do yourself a favor and prepare your brain for the sort of information you didn’t know could exist outside of a pub trivia night or, perhaps, a bathroom wall. Let’s talk about the now-infamous viral sensation sweeping Delaware’s University of Delaware: their public urinal trough, also trending as “the pee wall.” Yes, the humble strip of stainless steel where generations of students have practiced the fine arts of aim and anonymity is suddenly flush with attention thanks to one viral social media post. Apparently, this utilitarian fixture has caused such a stir that it’s now the topic of trending hashtags, heated Reddit threads, and local news interviews with—wait for it—trough enthusiasts. That’s right: people who not only have strong feelings about sinkless ways to relieve themselves, but can wax poetic about the ergonomic superiority of the UD pee wall versus traditional urinals. Some alumni even fondly recall a sense of solidarity standing shoulder-to-shoulder in the glory of communal, splash-prone business.

Why did this explode online? Was it nostalgia, design critique, or simply people realizing that the University of Delaware is literally famous for its plumbing now? No matter the explanation, the trough’s newfound celebrity is drawing thousands of comments debating the merits of privacy dividers, splash physics, and the existential pros and cons of trough living. Some recent visitors reported lining up just to snap a picture with the legendary wall, which, let’s be clear, is just a big, shiny piece of metal designed for rapid urine disposal.

If that doesn’t sound bizarre enough, it gets better. The university maintenance crew, who probably did not foresee becoming influencers, had to address questions about cleaning schedules and the correct ratio of bleach to water. Local businesses have started marketing T-shirts in tribute. Rumor has it, one student pitched a sitcom pilot titled “Trough Life: Making the Most of It” to campus TV. Admissions officers have begun fielding emails from prospective students asking about the bathroom situation—all presumably preparing for a future where “campus culture” means “a legendary urinal experience.”

In the annals of things you did not need to know today, but now cannot forget, Delaware’s viral pee wall has spectacularly claimed the crown. So, next time someone brings up bathroom innovation or collegiate tradition, you too can regale them with tales of internet-famous plumbing. It’s a reminder the internet can turn anything—literally anything—into a sensation. Would the inventors of the trough be proud? Impossible to tell. But somewhere out there, a plumber is smiling.

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You ever have one of those days where you’re just going about your business, feeling like a pretty average person in a mostly average world—then suddenly, news breaks reminding you that reality is just one big surrealist painting, and we’re all living in the section Picasso never showed his mother? That’s pretty much how I felt this morning when I discovered today’s truly unnecessary, but undeniably strange, headline: A high school student in Baltimore found himself briefly starring in a real-life sci-fi farce, courtesy of his school’s shiny new artificial intelligence security system, and a regular, crumply bag of potato chips.

Here’s what happened. You’re a teenager, waiting for your ride home, minding your own business, snacking on some chips. Suddenly, you—rather innocently—crumple up the empty bag and shove it into your pocket. Enter, stage left: the all-seeing, ever-vigilant “Destekz Stekz” AI detection system. Now, this AI was supposedly designed to spot weapons and keep schools safe. Instead, it saw you, Teenager Number One, pocketing your salty snack carcass…and it saw a deadly threat. Not a snack, oh no, but apparently the most devious gun-shaped snack ever to grace the lunchroom. Talk about a dangerous Dorito. Cue instant lockdown mode.

Next thing you know, police are swarming, convinced there’s a potential culinary catastrophe unfolding. Guns drawn, they order you to the ground, demanding you drop whatever threatening item you have. Bewildered, you thrust your hands in the air, probably still dusted in nacho cheese residue, thinking this must be what it’s like to live inside a bad episode of Black Mirror. Thankfully, the officers quickly realized that the only thing threatening about your “weapon” was the cholesterol. The whole situation de-escalated, and, as you’d expect, the student says he now prefers to wait for his ride indoors—presumably in a chip-free zone.

The school later reassured everyone that, technically, the AI system worked “as intended.” Because nothing says “peace of mind” quite like algorithms that confuse Frito-Lay with firearms. Next in line: orange fingers mistaken for Cheeto-based explosives, or maybe a pudding cup identified as a chemical threat. One can only dream.

Now, you could argue there are far bigger stories in the world today. Hurricanes, politics, even jewel-encrusted royal heists—sure, they’re important. But I’d argue nothing demonstrates the absurd theater of modern life quite like a lunch snack tripping an anti-terror alarm in 2025.

So, my unsolicited advice for the day: next time you’re tempted to tidy up after lunch, remember, in the age of artificial intelligence you’re only one bag of barbeque chips away from your moment of infamy. Either that, or just eat celery. It’s quiet, safe, and the only drama it causes is to your taste buds.

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Let me introduce you to a story so essential to modern life, so groundbreaking in its absolute lack of utility, that I guarantee your day will be no better or worse for hearing it. Just yesterday, a woman, full of hope and courage – and, apparently, dead basil – attempted a most valiant act: she marched into a store, potted plant remains in tow, demanding a refund for her dearly departed leafy companion. The plant had, by her reckoning, stubbornly refused to photosynthesize for more than six months, and she declared it "defective." The staff, one assumes, took a moment to contemplate whether this was a prank, a philosophical protest against mortality, or a bold new chapter in consumer rights. The internet, naturally, erupted in delight. People everywhere weighed in with empathy, confusion, and that low-key worry for humanity you get when someone tries to exchange a shriveled stick for store credit.

As armchair botanists and refund philosophers debated who, exactly, was at fault – the plant for not living up to expectations, or the shopper for mistaking a wilt for a warranty – I found myself wondering: Do plants keep receipts? If reincarnation is real, does a basil plant get store credit for coming back as rosemary? And more pointedly, how long before someone tries to return a fossil claiming, “This rock hasn’t grown in millennia!”?

The refund debate lagged only slightly behind another hot, yet possibly even less relevant internet sensation: the case of the cold-email fail. An Indian-American CEO recently shared a job application so clumsily worded and obviously penned by AI that it read less like a resume, more like a bot’s diary entry after watching one too many corporate training videos. Crowdsourced career advice followed. The consensus: if your cover letter begins with “Dear Human Resources Carbon-Based Unit,” stop, breathe, and try again.

Switching gears to the animal world, which, let’s be honest, rarely fails us for odd news, we learned that Scottish internet creators have discovered their new spirit animal in Indian railway efficiency – and are making viral videos about toilets and tiffin. Also, in California, bears are demonstrating how to practice true work-life balance by napping in residents’ backyard trees, entirely undisturbed by schedules, leaf blowers, or the existential dread of meeting quotas.

So, what’s the takeaway? Across the globe, people are trying to return expired plants, AI is still not quite up for your next job application, and wildlife has already nailed the art of relaxation. If you’re looking for the wisdom in this news: sometimes, the only thing you need to know, is precisely the thing you most definitely don’t. And that’s the kind of knowledge, much like a withered basil plant or an AI-written email, you might be tempted to return for a full refund – but deep down, you know you’ll never get your time back.

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Let me paint you a picture of the kind of news story you absolutely do not need in your life, but once you’ve heard, you’ll never unhear. Forget politics, sports, or weather—today we venture deep into the realm of the whimsical and profoundly pointless, with a story so bizarre it’s made the coveted front page of “Why Is This News?”

Recently, in Argentina, an entire village got together for what can only be described as the world’s weirdest farm rave. No, there was no DJ—unless you count the mysterious white orb floating above a ranch, pulsating a violet light that, apparently, had a groove so hypnotic it entranced a herd of cattle. Forget snakes charming people, these cows were doing actual laps around this glowing UFO as if auditioning for Argentina’s Got Talent, while the ranch horses went absolutely ballistic—likely because they weren’t invited to the dance circle.

Now, picture this: a no-nonsense police officer is called to investigate—because naturally, when cows start a disco under a floating light, you call the authorities. The officer arrives, only to watch in stunned silence as the cows continue their supernatural conga line. And just like every party in my twenties, as soon as someone official shows up, the fun immediately disappears—literally. The UFO vanishes, the animals snap out of it, and all that’s left is utter confusion and, presumably, some really questionable hoofprints.

You might be thinking, “Surely there’s a logical explanation.” Of course—the police report about the incident actually exists, but when an Argentine UFO researcher tried to get a look, he was told it was classified for “national security reasons.” So there you have it: cows, horses, a glowing orb, forbidden paperwork, and somewhere, a government official trying to convince their boss that cows moonwalking under extraterrestrial strobe lights genuinely constitutes a security risk.

Meanwhile, in California, elsewhere on the frontiers of ridiculous, a jogger declared war on a homeowner’s Halloween display—not once, but twice. Doorbell cam footage reveals the unlikely scene: a jogger pausing mid-sprint to unleash a flurry of punches on a trio of plastic witches, then bounding off down the sidewalk, perhaps fearing retaliation from a coven of garden gnomes. The homeowner was left bewildered and the witches, I’m told, are holding up but demand hazard pay for next year.

If you’re hungry for more bizarre, Halloween also prompted a Spanish town to ban black cat adoptions, not due to allergies, but out of fear people might use them as accessories for “seasonal décor” or, in true horror cliché, for occult rituals. No word if the cats issued a formal protest, but their legal counsel—probably a werewolf—remains on standby.

Today’s take-home lesson? Somewhere out there is a glowing orb with impeccable taste in cattle choreography, a jogger searching for justice against fake witches, and an unadoptable black cat writing a strongly worded letter to the mayor. And you, lucky listener, now know something that not only will never help you on a quiz show—but may never leave your brain. Keep your eyes skyward, your cows in line, and your Halloween decorations under surveillance.

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I woke up ready to digest the world’s most pressing headlines, but instead, I tripped over what may be the strangest story of the day—a tale that will do absolutely nothing to improve your quality of life, except maybe make you question humanity’s collective sanity. So buckle up, because you’re about to hear about a man who, just hours ago, made his private moment on the toilet into a viral sensation. And no, I’m not talking about an existential crisis brought on by last night’s questionable street tacos. I mean he literally converted a train toilet into his bedroom. This man, in what I can only assume is a bold push for privacy, somehow managed to transform the restroom of a moving train into a minibedroom—mattress and all. Internet users got a front-row seat to his “interior design,” which is arguably the weirdest niche in the world of home improvement.

Now, in case you’re sitting there wondering, “why would anyone do this?”—let me assure you, nobody has an answer. He wasn’t locked out of his compartment, he wasn’t practicing for a new level of escape room challenge, and from all video evidence, he was fully aware that his DIY boudoir would be immortalized forever. There was a mattress wedged neatly inside the cubicle, which frankly should be nominated for the Nobel Prize of Efficiency, because fitting a mattress into a train toilet is the kind of thing that makes Rubik’s cubes jealous. As he lay there, probably contemplating life’s true purpose, the internet exploded with commentary: some wondered if this was the ultimate introvert move, others declared him a trendsetter in “commuter napology,” and still more just tried to figure out how long the train ride has to be for this to make sense.

This video, uploaded less than a day ago, immediately stumped millions of viewers and more than a few train conductors who were now grappling with a new kind of passenger—one who paid for a seat but chose porcelain instead of upholstery. To be clear, there is no record of the train company offering a “toilet suite upgrade.” Maybe in 2030, you’ll get to choose between window seat, aisle seat, or ‘loo lair’ when booking online. If you ask me, this is the universe’s way of inventing a new genre: ‘bathroom glamping.’ Camping somewhere uncomfortable, but with WiFi and probable plumbing emergencies.

This, my friends, is modern surrealism—a world where you’re not just worried about missing your stop, but also about waking up in your makeshift bathroom bedroom to the sound of someone knocking impatiently outside. Imagine explaining that to fellow travelers. “Oh, I’m not using the toilet, I’m just catching up on my REM cycles while listening to the sweet hum of the flush mechanism. Five-star sleep, one-star view.”

So the next time you find yourself running out of trivia, or needing a story that is as unnecessary as it is unforgettable, tell them about the man who set new standards for ‘restroom etiquette’ on a moving train. It’s proof that no matter how much you think you’ve seen, someone, somewhere, is sleeping in a toilet and turning the internet upside down.

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Let me tell you about a news item from the past day that you absolutely do not need lodged in your memory, but I guarantee you’ll laugh just trying to explain it at a dinner party. So, picture this: a suburban neighborhood in Fountain Inn, South Carolina, so tranquil and ordinary that if you were to drive through you’d expect to see a couple of friendly pumpkins on the porch, maybe some skeletons swinging on the swingset, and a sign begging kids not to trample the mums. But this year, something in the Halloween air—besides pumpkin spice and the annual neighborhood drama—has taken fright-night decor into a whole new dimension.

Imagine driving by a house where, through carefully placed windows, you see blazing flames dancing behind the glass. Smoke drifts out from the porch, curling upwards as if the place is about to become the site of South Carolina’s hottest barbecue—minus the burgers. Now ask yourself, “Is this the world’s most ambitious Halloween display, or should I be calling 911 just in case?” Because that’s exactly what happened. Neighbors saw what looked like a full-on inferno in progress and started dialing the fire department so fast you’d think the house was melting faster than a cheap chocolate bar in July.

Turns out, the whole spectacle was just that—a masterwork of spooky special effects by Amanda Payton and Sam Lee, who not only set up fake flames and theatrical smoke but host a free pumpkin patch for the community every year. Yes, “free pumpkin patch.” The kind of offering that feels charming until you realize the hosts have also mastered the art of making people worry the neighborhood is about to burn to the ground for the sake of a good seasonal prank.

When firefighters arrived, fully geared up and ready to wrangle whatever demon pumpkin had been summoned, they were met with… fog machines, LED strips, and a crowd of Halloween-loving locals who regarded the flashing lights of emergency vehicles as just another layer to the festivities. If you’re looking for a place where trick-or-treat turns into trick-the-fire-department, Fountain Inn has officially become the Halloween capital of “Better Safe Than Sorry.”

Let’s be honest, you didn’t wake up this morning thinking you’d hear about South Carolina’s Most Realistic Haunted House setting off the town’s collective smoke detectors. This is, by all standards, an episode from the Department of Absolutely Unnecessary Information—unless, of course, you now feel compelled to outdo your own local ghostly décor with pyrotechnics and a fake emergency of your own.

So, in the unlikely event that your neighbor seems suspiciously calm while plumes of eerie smoke billow from their porch, think twice before heroically jumping a fence. It just might be Amanda and Sam throwing the kind of party that convinces everyone for one brief, glorious moment that Halloween has finally gone way, way off the rails—South Carolina style.

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Did you hear about the Louvre’s latest addition to the world’s great heist stories? For years, the famous Paris museum has been regarded as a fortress of culture, a place where the closest thing to a crime would be someone pretending they actually understand abstract art. But just yesterday, in a display of criminal creativity that would make even the Pink Panther blush, a gang of four disguised as construction workers pulled off a heist so audacious, you might think it was written by Hollywood.

Picture this: It’s Sunday morning in Paris, people are picking out baguettes, the cafés are filling up, and at the Louvre, four men roll up in a truck with a mechanical ladder—because apparently, the only thing standing between you and royal jewels is having the right tools and the confidence of someone late to their own wedding. CCTV shows them climbing up to a second-floor balcony with power tools in hand, which, as all great art lovers know, is the best way to appreciate diamonds, emeralds, and sapphires from Napoleon III’s personal stash.

Security guards, faced with masked men carrying small chain saws, decided the best course of action was... evacuation. Probably not what the visitors had in mind for their Sunday cultural enrichment, but it’s hard to focus on the Mona Lisa with a chainsaw buzzing nearby. The thieves moved quickly and efficiently, snatching nine priceless pieces without even stopping for a selfie, and escaped on scooters. Scooters! There’s something poetic about making your getaway with crown jewels on a moped, as if you’re late for a brunch with Marie Antoinette.

As of now, Parisian police don’t have the suspects, but witnesses do report the robbers had excellent posture. One can only guess if the Louvre considers this a reason to invest in glass cases less vulnerable to what is essentially the Parisian version of high-speed leaf blowers.

Meanwhile, back in the US, things are somehow even stranger. At the Palm Beach International Airport, Secret Service agents discovered a hunting stand during a routine sweep, situated with a straight line of sight to the spot where President Trump steps off Air Force One. No one was found at the scene, and investigators are left to wonder about the potential hobbies of the local wildlife. Maybe there’s a raccoon with strong political opinions? The FBI, not one to miss out on the action, immediately flew in, presumably after determining that none of the local squirrels had suspicious phone records.

When actual news feels like rejected plotlines from a new Ocean’s Eleven sequel, you really have to wonder: Are criminals just getting more creative, or are the rest of us still playing chess while they’re out here with power tools and a Google Maps scooter route? Next time you visit a museum, maybe double-check that the person installing the new painting isn’t cutting a hole in the wall beside it. Or if you’re at the airport and see a hunting stand, ask yourself: is it duck season, or political season? Either way, keep your crown jewels—and your scooters—close.

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Today, I bring you the kind of story that makes you say, “Who thought of this, and why?” But then, a little part of your brain goes, “Well, I’m kinda glad I know.” Let’s take a journey to Taiwan, where a woman just lost about 420,000 US dollars—oh yes, that number is correct—after enrolling in what was basically the Harvard of invisible nonsense, a "spiritual course" so exclusive, you literally can’t see what you bought. Not only did she hand over her life savings, she was so convinced by the unseeable magic content that she sold her house to pay for it. Move over, cryptocurrency, the “spirit syllabus” is here, and it just might be the investment with the highest rate of enlightenment per lost dollar in history.

You might wonder, what was promised in this course? Wisdom, spiritual connections, cosmic clearance sales on bad luck? The details remain about as vaporous as the curriculum materials. Of course, the so-called “mentor” vanished the second tuition was paid, reportedly becoming one with the ether, or maybe just the next bullet train south. There’s no word on whether the class had homework, other than maybe emptying your bank account.

But if you thought spiritual scams were enough to make your Sunday complete, let’s sprinkle in some news from Bengaluru. This Diwali, while the rest of the city was stuck in the kind of traffic that makes snails look reckless, one techie discovered the streets were empty thanks to the festival holiday. He was so amazed, he stood in the middle of the road to take a picture—a selfie in the urban wild. For a brief moment, he was the only functioning transport system in Bengaluru, and apparently, for that second, the true spirit of Diwali was “no one is driving, but I’m thriving.”

And from the world of DIY hacks, a traveler at an Indian airport, horrified by snack prices that suggest the popcorn was grown in solid gold soil, decided to beat the system—by ordering snacks using a grocery delivery app and having them delivered straight to the terminal. Because nothing spells modern rebellion quite like having a man show up at Gate C5 holding a bag of discounted samosas and a confused expression.

If you’re already shaking your head at the absurdity of the week’s news, here’s a topping for your weirdness sundae: an airline recently triggered a social media firestorm after asking a flight attendant—who had unfortunately passed away—for her sick leave paperwork. Somewhere, in an HR office, a form is lost in existential limbo. Remember folks, even in death, bureaucracy finds a way.

And finally, for those keeping up with global wildlife, a “princess dragon millipede” was just discovered in Thailand. It’s pink, it’s spiky, and biologically, it’s basically a party streamer with legs. Scientists can now confirm, no matter where you go or what you study, nature is always one step ahead in the department of “unnecessary but fabulous.”

So, the next time someone interrupts your day with, “Did you hear about the big political protest or that surge in gold prices?” you can look them dead in the eye and reply, “Sure, but have you heard about the spiritual degree that cost a house, the delivery samosas, and the bureaucratic afterlife?” Because let’s face it—you really didn’t need to know any of this, but aren’t you glad you do?

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There’s news you need to know, and then there’s news you really, really don’t—and today, I’m taking you on a quick trip to the intersection of the bizarre, the delightful, and the unequivocally unnecessary. Today’s headline: a tarot-reading cat has become an internet sensation, and somewhere, your high school guidance counselor just got goosebumps and isn’t sure why.

Meet Cole, a rescue feline who, perhaps dissatisfied by the lack of career opportunities in the traditional “nap on the couch, get petted,” cat sector, chose instead to pursue the mystical arts. Yes, Cole shuffles little tarot cards with shocking dexterity—no opposable thumbs needed—and draws a card to predict the fate of whoever needs to know whether Mercury is making their coffee taste bad or if Pluto is, in fact, the reason you keep losing your keys. Move over, Miss Cleo, there’s a new whiskered oracle in town.

Cole’s owner claims the readings are surprisingly spot-on. Suddenly, thousands of people are lining up online to have their fortunes read by a creature who, until last week, considered laser pointers the height of metaphysical inquiry. If you thought your last reading was questionable, just wait until a cat tells you it’s “The Tower” and then knocks your mug off the counter for dramatic effect.

Of course, not all that’s weird and wonderful this week is so, well, purr-suasive. In Cloquet, Minnesota, residents are experiencing a bout of clown panic—yes, actual clowns. People have reported being chased by costumed harlequins, and, because this is America in 2025, that’s led to rumors of weapon-wielding mischief. The police, perhaps under the unspoken motto “Not Again,” have promised to stay vigilant. So if you’re considering a run to the store in full circus attire, maybe stick to the nose and leave the machete at home.

But clowns and cats are only the appetizer. In Uruguay, surfers fled the waves after spotting a mystery creature, reportedly three feet wide and sporting whale-like sounds with a dash of scales. Biologists are still scratching their heads, surfers are still drying their shorts, and Nessie fans are booking plane tickets just in case.

Now, for those who think fortune telling is a strictly human domain, this week also saw two psychics in Pennsylvania bilking hundreds of thousands out of customers by promising to remove “curses” for a fee. At least Cole the Cat only charges you a like, a share, and maybe a few treats if the Ace of Tuna appears.

So, what have we learned? If a cat reads your future, listen up—but don’t trust it with your bank account. If a clown gives chase, run faster, and if you see an aquatic beast with scales and a sense for the dramatic, it might be time to finally get that gym membership. Curious, unnecessary, and, above all, undeniably bizarre—just another day in news you didn’t know you didn’t need.

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Let me tell you about a news item from the last 24 hours that falls squarely in the category of “Why do humans keep inventing bizarre ways to torment each other—and why am I telling you about it?” Picture this: modern teens, equipped not with whoopee cushions or the classic fake spider, but armed with advanced AI tools, have cooked up a new viral prank known as the “Homeless Person Prank.” And yes, it’s precisely as weird and unnecessary as it sounds.

The recipe is simple, techy, and designed for maximum parental meltdown. Teenagers snap real photos of their homes—living rooms, doorways, hallways—and then use the likes of ChatGPT and Google Gemini to conjure up a convincingly realistic homeless stranger, digitally photoshopped right into the frame. Sometimes the invented character is lingering at the front door in street chic, and sometimes he’s just chilling on the couch, looking suspiciously comfortable for someone who, until five minutes ago, reportedly didn’t exist.

Next, the teens send these AI-altered pictures to their parents, paired with adrenaline-filled messages like “There’s someone in the house!” or the classic thriller line “He says he knows you.” The results? Pure comedy for the prankster, pure panic for the parents, and—for one Dorset parent who actually called the police—pure embarrassment once the local authorities arrived to bust a digital ghost.

Of course, the Dorset Police have weighed in, probably after the fifth incident of officers arriving on the scene to find only the family dog looking guilty, suggesting that maybe viral online challenges ought to come with some kind of chaos meter. TikTok hasn’t officially commented on the trend, possibly because it’s busy reviewing grainy clips of cats dancing to Bollywood music, but experts worry about the “digital safety” risks. Apparently millions in India also just handed over personal photos to be “Bollytized” by AI, which is creepy on a whole other level.

But let’s pause and wonder: Who wakes up in the morning and decides, “I’m going to digitally create a virtual home invasion to freak out my mother today”? In what parallel universe is fooling your parents into dialing 999 an acceptable way to spend your Thursday? This raises the vital, philosophical question: if you prank your parents with an AI-generated hobo on the sofa, has technology reached its ultimate form—or has civilization officially gone off the rails?

The digital prank war rages on, and AI, that mysterious genie we all seem to have let out of the bottle, is now dispensing virtual squatters like a dystopian sitcom with laugh tracks provided exclusively by mortified parents and confused police officers. So, next time you get a text from your kid that says, “Mom, there’s a man on the couch, and he wants your casserole recipe,” maybe just check the pixels before you check the locks.

Of all the news you didn’t need to know today, this might rank near the top: somewhere out there, a teenager is making AI images of strangers lounging in their living room and calling it entertainment—proving that with great technology comes great nonsense.

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