America is a French goose of a nation on Super Wild Card Weekend—a kind football foie gras about to be force-fed a seemingly endless menu of expensive, high-stakes NFL playoff games, until we luxuriously burst.

So today, we ask our friend Bill Barnwell—the sharpest and most empirically minded football analyst we know—to explain how he’s attacking these half-a-dozen dishes. Will numerous quarterback injuries spoil the meal? Is Tom Brady about to eat humble pie? Can Dak and the Cowboys sugarcoat over their recent struggles? Bill helps us manage our expectations, and our livers, in the process.

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