https://3speak.tv/watch?v=nickydee/tfemapvo

Note: Mainstream Social Media in this content refers to Facebook and Instagram specifically. I don't know much about Twitter as my f for UR already Perfect was on mental health and addiction related information for teenagers.

But Google is so blatantly involved that it's actually rude (probably rude to not include them since they are so blatantly blatant).

It must be cool to have so much money that you think you're untouchable, huh?

We wait to see what the Aussie courts have to say next 😏

I recently updated a track and a video created to raise awareness about the effects of mainstream social media on its users back in 2022.

The original article was written in 2021. Edited to be more direct in 2023.

The track and video created in 2022 in a consistent effort to raise more awareness that began in 2019 has been updated because using Hive, instead of my old mainstream social media accounts, for almost a year has softened my voice substantially again.

Yeah. This is me with a softer voice. Although some folks around here may doubt it. I was far more traumatized and far angrier a year or so ago. Mostly because of the dishonesty and bullshit mainstream media rewards in its users.

What I loved most about Hive, when I joined in June 2022, was that the blockchain rewards its users for engaging. "If that's what it takes for people to be decent, less competitive and to connect," I thought, "then I'm totally down with it!"

More... these who enjoy connecting and uplifting others naturally will thrive faster than those who come in with a more mainstream headspace based on me, me, me. now proven fact And connecting around here may even "reprogram" such behaviour over time. still a Dreamer

Like. UpVote.

Of course, only humans are everywhere and you have to focus on finding your kindreds. No judgement. Of course. still punting non-judgement as the first practice to real self awareness for the next bit of the journey 😉

Nothing is perfect and everything already is perfect. The only time I keep some distance is when there's a lack of accountability. For my own health and safety. Of course.

I've found Hive shows, on an ongoing basis, interest in the same principles and values I have and, to boot, there are some really great people around here. As perfectly human as I am. Love it.

The rockstars can fuck off, quite frankly.

I'm too old and too comfortable in my pajamas to be a groupie.

Or a rockstar.

So why do I keep on moaning about mainstream social media anyway?

Well... I've been forced to slow down on content creation and am finally taking the time... almost one year in and passed since I said I'd be doing this... to move some of my old content to the blockchain.

Also. Meta hasn't changed its ways and, in fact, seems to only be getting worse.

I'd never be cheeky enough to post the exact same old stuff around here, though. So I'm also updating it a bit with new learning and a softer me.

Yep. This is a softer me. I will, and it's probably better in a pretty fierce world, never be as soft as I once was. Life happens and it changes us. Sometimes forever.

And that's okay.

Now.

So back to why the big mainstream bastids should be abandoned for mental health reasons alone...

They save up notifications and release them in one go. Users get the “high” of a well-timed “jackpot”. The developers are intentionally targeting brain chemistry, and regions in the brain, that are directly responsible for the mechanisms of the addictive cycle.

Their intention is to addict people and to keep them using their platforms as much as possible.

So that they can advertise to them and profit. Of course.

This type of communication happens between human beings when they are in the same physical space, where vocal tone, eye contact and body language are factored into the exchange.

There are many different aspects and layers of communication. We know this. It's how our brains figure out what is safe and when we should run or fight. It happens in milliseconds and it doesn't require an exchange of words at all.

Now we text someone if they are in the same room. We lie easily about how we are feeling (*smiley emoji). We can be whoever we want to be online.

Our exchanges are brief and summarised. Too brief to get a real sense of, and enough input, to understand a whole, complex, entirely different human being. Misinterpretation is easy. Lying is easier.

Connection can be feigned, completely imagined, or both. A form of communicating that is ripe for misunderstanding is now our preferred way to “talk.” (*worried face emoji or rolling eye emoji, depending on who is reading this, what will resonate with you most and keep you reading longer)

Honest, vulnerable, REAL connection is how we feel validated and “seen.” Real connection is vital for good mental health. Honest sharing encourages much-needed support and validation in stressful times.

Safely, annually recycled memes that folks are confident will attract "Likes", anyone? yawn, already

And the death of originality, personal creativity and the avoidance authenticity rewarded.

Unlike Downvote.

Throw in a good handful of misunderstanding and you have people's attention, I guess.

Which leads me to...

Gone are the simple personal updates on Facebook. Hello to mainstream politics and news. and tons of advertising, of course!

Because what do people fight about most? Well...

Mainstream social media algorithms bump up posts with high engagement. That’s their job. To give you what they think you want, to keep your valuable attention.

People love a good, messy, mess and a fight. A car crash. A train wreck. As long as it isn’t them involved, of course. This is a less than admirable, and commonly acknowledged quirk of human nature.

Mainstream social media is rewarding the gritty, less kind and humanitarian side of human nature, mathematically, because that's what sells, and that's what we respond react to the most.

No being a messy only human allowed.

We see only, mostly, snippets of the most enviable parts of people’s days. With filters.

This leaves people who are struggling with personal challenges, feeling even worse. This also leaves people, pretending that they are living a rock ‘n roll lifestyle, isolated and alone when their dopamine high wears off.

Different drug of choice. Same comedown.

People aren't encouraged to share honestly, vulnerably, openly, or consciously on mainstream social media. Not even remotely. There's nothing wrong with being human. There's nothing wrong with being real.

Yet here they are, encouraging people and the kids, to sell themselves as perfect, to lie about who, how, and what they are.

Or to not post at all.

Isolation during challenging times creates trauma.

Your clicks, your data  —  everything that you do on mainstream social media —  is being recorded. The big platforms are using this data to build, apologies  —  have built - a psychological profile of you.

They know what you are likely to click on. They know what is going to provoke you into a reaction.

They are using this information to manipulate your online journey.

Why? Follow the money. Again.

Every trigger that they provoke will probably make you react to a post that they want you to engage with. And if you've been using Meta and Google for a while they already know what you'll stop to read, comment on and/or share.

And the “popularity” of said posts will make them more visible on social media. They can use your own triggers to get you to share what they want to share. And they have.

Are you feeling uneasy yet?

Emotional and psychological manipulation is, exactly, what a narcissistic/psychologically and emotionally abusive relationship runs on. These relationships are based on two things alone. Power and Control. And maintaining this over the victim. By triggering and then "rewarding" users, mainstream social media is able to create the same "trauma bond" created in abusive relationships.

Another form of addiction and the addictive cycle.

Very difficult to heal and break free from, by the way...

In fact, people that are raised in families where guilt, shame, and rejection are used to “teach” them (think power and control again) how to behave, develop addiction and mental health “disorders” later on in life.

Long-term emotional and psychological abuse results in PTSD and C-PTSD, which both present as mental health issues and often result in addiction problems as survivors try to self-medicate. It is also very difficult to treat and to heal.

Being excluded, ignored (psychologically ostracized) or shamed, publicly, by the pack can be a very traumatic experience for a human being. We are pack animals and our basic instin is wired for a need to be a part of the group in order to, literally, survive.

If a person steps away from the general consensus on social media they are often punished with no likes or comments or outright written attacks.

The brain is not as clever as we think it is. In fact, it can be pretty dim. It will interpret this rejection by the pack, in the same way, it will an actual live threat of extinction under the right circumstances.

"Cancel culture" and cyber bullying, anyone? This is what our kids are being raised on.

Which brings us to...

More importantly, we were 80’s kids. Railing against the system was a part of our identity. Being a rebel and a misfit was mainstream. Our generation was allowed to be angry, depressed, emo, weird and outraged. And wow, were we ever!

Nobody labeled us with mental disorders or threw us out of the pack. The messier your hair and the more smeared your makeup was the cooler you were. Nobody blinked an eye at us belligerent teenagers. When we walked out of the door we disappeared until we could find an actual phone booth if we needed to get hold of someone.

We were infinitely more “free.”

Now it is all online all of the time.

Your “connection” to whatever you need, whoever you need, whenever you need. Where you can be anything you want to when you want to. Where you can be crying and drop a smiley emoji and nobody will ever know. Where you can lie easily because nobody can see you blush. Where you can have thousands of friends, that you've never even met, who can turn on you at any time. Where you can see the Insta photos of the party you were never invited to in real-time.

Imagine being at an age when making mistakes, pimples, acne, hormonal weight gain, and all of the other beautiful, awkwardness of being human starts in full. But you are, literally, in the public eye and can not put one foot out of line.

This was one of the reasons that I never wanted to be a rock star in the first place. This, and the fact that I have never had the tenacity to learn guitar properly and have the vocal range of an enthusiastic drunk.

It was the inevitable judgment, of the less secure public eye, for not being perfect all of the time and not knowing who my real people were amid the bling. I mean...

most big rock stars ended up in rehab or dead. Let's face it. And all of their stories are unsurprisingly similar.

Now mainstream social media encourages people to promote themselves, and ruthlessly only themselves, as pop idols.

How sad. Considering so many of the sad endings to those stories...

Intentionally. Addicted. Programmed. Manipluated. Consumers. 24 / 7.

What could possibly go wrong?

Saved for the busy dad and generous human who keeps the tunes coming on #ttt. Mr @ablaze himself. Thanks for your ongoing mission to keep us connected, dude.

Knock knock?

Bonus track because... knock knock. And the masters of being "woke". Of course.

https://3speak.tv/watch?v=nickydee/nltfiohbro

Something I wanted to do for @zirochka until life intervened and more detours always!

Sorry so long. I always keep my promises though. "Even if they take me far, far away. Some quote from Star Wars, I think

But if I'm wrong then this works too: although whether anything after Return of the Jedi is to be construed as Star Wars is still up for debate.

“The dark is generous and it is patient and it always wins – but in the heart of its strength lies its weakness: one lone candle is enough to hold it back.

With love, sister ❤️

May the Force be with you Definitely Star Wars 👍

In accordance with my principles and values, I have removed all community badges from my profile. I love all the communties I write for on Hive and will, probably, find even more as I wander. I strongly believe that total personal sovereignty is vital to me staying as "woke" as possible and am busy wandering along on an "accidental journey". Although some would say "there are no accidents" Master Oogway 😉

In all seriousness though. I am practicing a kind of "spritual" / personal growth / recovery "thing" over here and this is a big part of it. It's not you. It's me.

Thanks for getting me on to this channel, @penderis. She's pretty awesome!

In a real story there’s little absolute truth and there’s rarely finite understanding.

Excerpt: "I've seen lots of conversation about awkward topics around here, recently, and that makes me hopeful."

But we may need to address why shame and embarrassment aren't helpful first if you've maybe missed this part. Please stop that shit now. It's slowing us down!

And you thought this was all about me, huh?! It is. But it also isn't.

I love you! It's not your fault. And... there's nothing "wrong" with you. Just in case someone didn't tell you today. 😁 ❤️

I'm taking a much needed actual one whole day off after a busy week. BrB. Always.

https://3speak.tv/watch?v=nickydee/ahvvreuf
Keeping notes on Hive so this is a shortish one.

To those who have the case files:

I'm here to stay. On the Hive Blockchain, that is. You're the only community I've found who are even willing to have a conversation like this. And you have my full support in return.

If I don't comment (I'll always be commenting and curating so check comments as my presence here, please) for more than 3 days, please release the Affidavits here on Hive in my stead.

Please remove my and all my personal contacts/family members' names to protect their privacy. Including that of the person who started the fight, please. And my was to be life-partner (Husband - yes, we were engaged despite my aversion to marriage. That's how much I loved the man! He was set on making things formal.)

You can decide whether to include officials' names or not. I'd suggest that they were lied to and not trained well enough to deal with the case, however. And that the workload they're trying to deal with results in dangerously bad service.

Having said that, I went on to do pro-Bono support for survivors and have heard some terrifying accounts of misdirected social services and police corruption and brutality.

To the point that an ex-wife of a police officer, who laid a charge of domestic violence against her husband, had a gun waved in her face, at her front door, by a few police colleagues of her ex-husband and was told she would be shot and killed if she continued the case against him.

This is by police officers themselves.

This isn't just my story. And, I'll say this again, I've heard far, FAR worse.

This is also not some kind of witch hunt or revenge against the person who started this mess.

We both behaved badly, at times, and we've both gone on to learn a bit and get over ourselves a bit more. They have, however, continued to hold me captive and under their thumb. Also facilitated by government parties.

My point is that, if services were working as they are meant to and those officials and authorities were held accountable for their behavior, this case would have been nipped in the bud at the first false allegation...

and none of this would have happened.

The case was that clear cut and THAT clearly rubbish. And every authority figure involved would have seen this if they'd taken the time to investigate and do the jobs assigned to them.

Legal protocol was ignored. Corruption was ignored. Criminal behavior was ignored. Human Rights violations were committed by the very officials bound to ensure the citizens of this country are protected. Sometimes by magistrates themselves. It goes on.

While I don't resent the mistakes we human beings make, if the very systems in place that are supposed to hold human beings accountable for their mistakes protect said individuals instead of holding them accountable...

well...

we all know the outcome of this, these days.

I simply asked the government to fix their errors, by the way. Nothing more than this. No punishment for anyone involved. I only wanted my family back. And some help to rebuild what I've lost while trying to save it.

And now let's get back to Pippin and Nugget's magical adventures and making some art.

Featured image my own.

Working on my phone so please forgive typos etc. if any.

https://3speak.tv/watch?v=nickydee/yeoqzyfx

I did my absolute best to participate in #HivePUD but the internet thought it better I not post this yesterday for some probably good reason.

And, these days, I don't fight the flow quite so much.

I gave it a solid go but at around 10:00pm last night, had to concede I was beaten again and it just wasn't gonna happen. It's a long story and I'll spare you the gory details. this time

This is a quick update to say "hey hello" and "I'm okay" fisted fist bump because some good folks around here have been a bit worried about this journey. Sorry... I'm an artist. I'm not here to make you comfortable... I'm here to make you feel... and, I hope, think. 😬

Yes... it's been quite a ride but life's like that, at times, and I'm resilient and experienced enough now to keep on walking through to, inevitably, come out the other side.

As we do.

And I have now. until next time

I think.

Maybe.

Who knows what happens next.

These days I stay open to being open to the possibilities because I can't resist following my curiosity...

and I'm not about to change this.

It's not about making a point or anything...

it's a way of life.

p.s. Thanks for being there, guys. Some of this journey would've sucked harder without the behind the scenes support from some of you. But the tough times are just as relevant and important as the sparkly times. If not even more so! So please don't be scared of them. And thank you again ❤️

"There is no coming to consciousness without pain."
-The master... Carl Jung

It's like a zombie apocalypse out on the road around here. An episode or three of "The Walking Dead". Love Zombies to the max but only on screen, to be clear, @riverflows.

I think, after COVID and with load-shedding to boot, many people are really struggling now. It's kinda "survival of the fittest" happening all over the place and most folks are pretty scared. Sh!t just got even more weird.

Or perhaps I'm still a bit naive and this is the way we humans "work". I choose to believe it's just survival stress, though.

It has, however, led to some interesting experiences and more learning as it does and, since I'm all into experience and learning...

I most definitely got what I wished for.

The last bit, however, was just plain tiring and a bit disappointing as "the best laid plan(s)" didn't work out.

Again.

And I was tired before that.

Also... my tolerance for sh!t was way, way down low by this time. So if you were running around looking for trouble and crossed my path then you got what you wished for too. Nice to meet you. ❤️

Now once-upon-a-time I would've believed some kind of force was guiding me to where I'm supposed to be...

but, these days, I'm not so sure of anything much anymore. The jury is officially out on this debate. All I do know is that the answer actually is (maybe) 42 and...

that where I was isn't where I want to be.

With some focus, and consistent effort, I've now made my way back to where I actually did want to stop and make a base camp last year, in November 2022.

Please check dates on headers of posts to see when the parts of this journey actually happened so you don't freak out for no good reason. And thanks for being you. Again.❤️

The Accidental Theory is an experiential multimedia story. It will not be consecutive because life and learning isn't consecutive. The way the journey unfolds, and loops back to past events to illustrate "learning", is a part of the "experience". Headings are important! 😊

I reckon you'll understand why I wanted this to be "Base Camp" when you see where I finally am now.

I know this journey might freak some people out at times.

So does life.

Life isn't always a bed of roses.

We all know this.

But we often choose to avoid or ignore the grittier side of life. Or even avoid change because we're afraid of some of the challenges we will have to overcome during the process. The thing is...

learning always includes some mistakes and a bit of a bump and grind, if we're lucky, or two. if we're extra lucky

I've reached a stage in my life where the fear of things staying the same really has become worse than the fear of change. It's how I lost most of my fear and made peace with the rest of it that I'm trying to share around here. That, in my personal experience, is what led, ultimately, to my "liberation".

A part of this is sharing what the fear was that I had to walk through...

to find the kind of freedom I've found. Mentally and psychologically, that is. Physically... well... I'm still trying to figure this part out.

My point here is...

please don't worry quite so much.

I chose this, remember? I chose life. I chose adventure over safety. I chose experience over comfort. I chose mobility over stability because I've spent most of my life living Groundhog Day.

Time is precious to me now. In truth it should be for all of us but I have the benefit/curse (your choice) of being reminded of this every day, which really does away with a f*ck ton of procrastination and messing around.

Personally... I want to live a liddle before I level up, please.

I left Noordhoek knowing exactly how challenging this journey might be without transport or financial back up. I made the decision to hit the road after a year of recovering and considering my options carefully.

I left Noordhoek because, eventually, I realised I couldn't go back to the life I once had in Cape Town anyway. Even if I did want to.

Sometimes we've just seen and experienced too much to "go back".

I wasn't really alive or living for many, many years in that town anyway, you know. I have to live like this now...

to really feel alive. I always did.

I don't know how else to explain it to you, other than to show you something written by a someone who'd simply nod in agreement.

And who has said it far better. again

By: Erik Rittenberry

He is unfit for this life, this

There’s something dark and peculiar in him

Even as a child he felt something

It’s still there, stirring in the

He tries, at times, to wash it away

It calls forth the spirit

It’s this archaic force that burns from

He could hardly put on a mask and

Undefinable,

The more emaciated they are inwardly,

But he cares nothing of status

an unconditional renunciation

He’s in flight from the endless trivialities

His fate, he knows. He is doomed

When uninspired, the firm grip of melancholy

But when enthused, he’s lit up,

“O melodies above me in the infinite,

Orignal source

Now on we go, please. Send supplies - need money for cocaine and dancing girls a car to travel further afield; a haircut and other personal panel beating that shall not be named. Or not. I'm gonna do it anyway, right? 👍

Yep. On we go!

Fearlessly whenever possible.

And if not...

then on we go anyway...

until we aren't afraid anymore. ❤️ 👣 barefoot is best

@wwwiebe - Website almost done. Really almost. Almost...

https://3speak.tv/watch?v=nickydee/hxeqncjv
Perhaps I'm becoming sentimental but, going over the chat messages saved from my training by an incredible human (and dear friend) here on Hive in June of 2022...

I actually got a liddle bit teary. Don't tell. Disgruntled punk face back on.

I've been necessarily laying low to reboot for a bit but, on this most auspicious day, I had to make the effort to participate.

Of course.

Hive has given me so very much, you see.

I doubt most of you'll ever fully understand exactly what this blockchain gave, and returned, to me and I don't wanna get all soppy about it anyway. But I discovered Hive at a time when I'd, pretty much, given up hope on humanity in full.

And then... I stumbled upon...

"something completely different!" *stolen from some well above average British comedians

The footage I saved from a conversation that went on for around three weeks or more with @julianhorack, who not only delegated me a generous amount of HP to get going around here but who patiently coached me through a steep learning curve...

goes on for over an hour and a half. Or more.

I'm still waiting for him to send me bits of it that I lost in a phone and Telegram account reshuffle. Yes. I suck at admin everywhere.

Not only did Julian delegate and support my entry onto this incredible blockchain...

he did the same for the few adventurous souls who I shared it with as well. And who wanted to give it a go.

Julian does this quietly in the background, simply because he wants to see this community grow and flourish. F*ck Yeah! But, I suspect, also because he's led a very spiritual life and, also, has less attachment to the material world than most people.

But that, as I like to say, is another story 😊

I thought longer and harder than I usually do about what I might post to contribute to this special initiative to celebrate what has been, and is being, built here.

I finally settled on this... some snippets of my entry and learning curve on Hive and why I chose to stick around forever.

Happy three years, Hive!

To many, many more fun, inspiring, successful and even bigger and better years as we grow together.

Vive la révolution! ❤️

As the afternoon begins to mellow into evening, I finish setting up the stall. I pack the now empty clothing bags, rolled up neatly, into one of the heavy plastic stock boxes used to transport the more expensive, imported, clothing.

I push these six, large boxes into a straight, horizontal line against the back of the stall. Uniform, they're transformed into both seating and a desk for me to work from during the long night ahead.

I hang the old-school-disco spot-lights from the metal canopy structure with cable ties, pointing them into corners and at the ground leading to the entrance of the stall. The path of coloured light gives the stall a feeling of carnival. The bright multitude of colours will, no doubt, attract festive party-goers to come and have some fun after dark.

The florescent lights go up last.

I tie these, one each, to two straight poles that stretch the tarpaulin roof tightly above me. As soon as I switch the ultra-violet lights on, the psychedelic wall-hangings used as backing for the stall explode into hypnotic neon.

Suddenly the two by four meter space seems to stretch and warp into the distance. The fluorescent lighting distorts the depth of all of it and perspective is completely altered. Altered states.

This is why we're all here.

I'm at a small underground, psychedelic trance party some 650km out of Cape Town, setting up my outdoor stall to sell my gear.

I've driven here alone with a truck full of stock and a heavy iron canopy tied by my own hands to roof-racks on top of the vehicle. I don't know anybody here and I'll be working alone straight through the night as well. I've randomly ended up in a different lifestyle by complete accident again...

and I'm loving every minute of it.

I'm also out here, living this lifestyle, even though I'm dead sober these days.

"I'm probably the only sober person at this event." I think, as I look over the field of moving people, some beginning to sway as the bass-line starts to rise in harmony with the disappearing sunset.

I'm not here for the drugs anyway. I'm here for the music. I'm here for the open road and travel. I'm here for the new places, new people and new adventures.

I'm here for the freedom of it all.

I'm a 29 year old flea market trader with a Bachelor's Degree, but I wouldn't trade this for anything.

I've already inherently understood that I won't be happy in some corporate corner somewhere. I know there's something off with the life I'm expected to lead. I know it isn't who or what I am. I know it's not even real somehow. I know it's not who I want to be. And I know I don't really want any part of it.

What I don't know yet...

is that my aversion to all of this isn't f*ckin' crazy after all.

They say when the student is ready, the teacher appears.

At around 11pm a tall, slender man walks into my stall. I rise to greet him and we begin to talk. He's a student of Krishna and is at the festival to sell food. He is also, obviously, sober. And he is also, obviously, "seeking".

We strike it off immediately and he sits eventually, so we can continue our conversation more comfortably. People come and go in between, as I get up to talk to them and make an occasional sale. The man comes and goes as this happens as well, to check in at the stall he's working with.

I suddenly realise that I can see his features clearly because the sun has risen while we've talked straight through the night. This almost seven hour first conversation...

will cement a friendship that'll span over twenty years.

Jaso, who I'll come to know later as Julian, and I...

will enter and leave each other's orbit again and again as the years pass.

Always at the most challenging times for me personally. At strange times. At in-between times.

In between these almost new beginnings, Jaso will suddenly reach out and we'll reconnect again. And I will always ask a million questions, listen carefully and learn something important from him.

And I will feel at peace for while as he listens to and hears me without judgement. Or surprise. But who could imagine as we sat quietly, talking of books and philosophy; gods and life beneath the stars all those years ago ...

that there would come a time, some twenty odd years later, when I'd reach out to this monk in a surprise turn of events...

and he'd teach me about blockchain tech as well.

https://3speak.tv/watch?v=nickydee/oxjffbxz
Please find a shortened version of Chapter 2 below, with this full version of the random audio recorded in April 2022, that may share this content in (what I hope is) a more entertaining and understandable way.

Feedback for chapter 2, the history of the manual used to diagnose mental health conditions (the DSM), was that it was too academic for people to read and understand.

I guess that’s what happens when you study something for a while. It becomes overly familiar. I’m sorry it may have put some people off because it’s important to understand this information if people want to fully recover and get well.

I also know this is why professions use things like jargon in the first place.

Please don’t let it deter you from finding out more about how the mental health and addiction industry (which is what it is these days and a very profitable industry at that) developed.

But, to keep it simple, please find a brief synopsis of how the two manuals used to “diagnose” people with “mental disorders”, by the vast majority of professionals in all areas of mental health, therapy and/or addiction globally, evolved below.

I've spent the last week finishing this off for you before I focus on my health and creating a life worth sticking around for in full.

As you can hear, this content gets me very riled up. Mostly because I've lost some good people along the way because of misinformation, bad practice and dishonesty.

I can't, however, afford to get riled up anymore right now. For health reasons.

I've also fought this particular "good fight" for a long, long time.

And I am tired.

Moving forward I'll be focusing on sharing my writing and personal adventures; tools and skills to stay (relatively) sane in an insane world; some art and my ever so opinionated opinions (of course). And having some fun for a change.

I do hope this helps some people...

Keep on keeping on.

Recovery is possible ❤️

Jung had real success with the “psychodynamic” approach in 1904. (see story in section of Chapter 2: Part 2: Titled - “An Interesting Story”) : related to recovery for "sexual masochism", which is now listed as a "disorder" in the DSM and medicated accordingly. (say goodbye to fantasy dress up date nights forever or you might be medicated, you naughty kids 😂)

Hysteria - once considered to be a problem associated with only women. The word hysteria originates from the Greek word for uterus - Hysteria was finally removed from the DSM as a disorder in 1980 (but the legacy lives on, doesn't it sisters? 😐).

Autism was originally described as a form of childhood schizophrenia and the result of cold parenting (dissociated war veterans would be "cold"), then as a set of related developmental disorders… [38]

The terminology used to describe the symptoms of Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, or ADHD, has gone through many changes over history,including "minimal brain damage" (are you kidding me? 😆), "minimal brain dysfunction", "learning/behavioral disabilities"... [40]

Homosexuality was removed from the DSM as a personality disorder in 1973; kept in as "ego-dystonic homosexuality" and a variety of other classifications, over the revisions, until it was removed as "gender identity disorder" in 2013… replaced with "gender dysphoria". (yes - it is still listed in the Diagnostic statistical manual of mental disorders in 2022 🙄)

Words are important.

I now know there’s no such thing as a “mental disorder” because I’ve taken the time to research the history of the DSM (the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders).

So, to be clear, I now know there’s no such thing as a mental disorder in the way in which we currently think of these.

As in the way the DSM suggests mental health conditions and addictive behaviours to be “disorders”. Or the medical profession suggests them to be mental “illnesses”.

There are no physical markers or symptoms for these conditions, as there are for a proper illness such as a common cold.

The hypotheses and philosophies of psychology are not hard science or medicine.

They’re the opinion of a relatively small demographic of a particular culture. And opinion is regularly skewed by personal perspective, personal bias, personal motivation, politics and, sometimes, financial gain.

At this stage of our understanding, when there’s (once again) a strong and more rational move towards a holistic perspective on mental health, this ongoing creation of disorders is badly informed, ethically questionable and outright irresponsible.

But I only understood more about how a disorder is created when I researched the history of the DSM and how it developed into what is now commonly referred to as the “Bible of psychiatry and psychology”.

“The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Illnesses is the latest edition of the American Psychiatric Association’s professional reference book on mental health and brain-related conditions. Also known as the DSM-5, this is the main guide for mental health providers in the U.S. The latest version, the DSM-5-TR, was published in 2022.” [7]

The rest of the world uses the ICD (International Classification of Diseases) to classify mental health conditions. The U.S.A also uses the ICD to add codes (related to a “diagnosis” or “disorder”) for invoicing so that clients can claim from medical insurances.

The U.S.A played a major role in the development of the ICD and the first edition of the ICD was heavily influenced by a classification system developed by the United States army for categorizing mental health conditions of war veterans after WW2.

War veterans who would have returned home from the war with trauma in the form of PTSD / PTSR (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder / Reaction) and C-PTSD / PTSR (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder / Reaction).

Psychologists and psychiatrists at the time were aware of why war veterans might be struggling to adjust after the war and chose to take a “psychodynamic” approach when treating people with mental health struggles.

“Psychodynamics” looks at how a person's psychology (perception and thinking) impacts their behaviour, feelings and emotions, in relation to external factors and early experience.

Lithium was first used in treatment for psychiatric conditions in the 1940s.

Pharmaceuticals as a first line of treatment was heavily encouraged, via advertising and articles, in the American Psychiatric Association’s news publication from the 1950s onwards.

The field of psychology and psychiatry in general was not considered scientific or real medicine (1950s to 1980s) and, thus, did not warrant funds being distributed to academic psychiatrists at universities for research grants. There was a move towards a more medical perspective (biological and genetic) by academic psychiatrists, in order to be taken more seriously and to be able to acquire research grants.

A task force of nine people was responsible for the third revision of the DSM (1980s), headed by Robert L. Spitzer. Spitzer chose people from an academic/research background (some of whom he had personally collaborated with), with a strongly “biological” (as opposed to “psychodynamic”) perspective on the reasons people suffer from mental health conditions as fellow task force members. The majority of whom were American caucasian and male.

The word “reactions” was removed from the manual (1980s third revision of the DSM) and the word “disorder” replaced it in full under Spiterzer’s guidance. (i.e. depressive “reaction” is replaced by depressive “disorder” etc. for all categories of behaviours in the DSM-III)

Only one member of the task force is said to have objected to this change. Dr Pinsker, who came from a psychoanalytic approach.

To which Spitzer replied that reimbursement from medical insurance would be difficult if the classifications were based on sets of symptoms and were not specific (medical conditions).

What behaviours should be considered “Disordered” are decided upon by these small task forces during revisions of the DSM (every 10 years). “Disorders” are voted into (or out of) existence by task force members. Human beings with personal interests, personal connections and, often, personal motivation.

In subsequent editions of the DSM problems with the book became more evident, and more public, due to obvious connections between members of the task forces and the pharmaceutical industry. The pharmaceutical industry is a multi billion dollar industry.

Many psychiatrists and psychologists have been outspoken with regards to the book and the problems surrounding it.

Robert L. Spitzer himself stated some years later, in an interview in 2007, that:

the DSM, by operationalizing the definitions of mental disorders while paying little attention to the context in which the symptoms occur [my boldface], may have medicalized the normal human experiences of a significant number of people.[8]

All of this is widely known fact and available from reliable resources that share the history and development of the DSM and the ICD. Some of which are on the American Psychiatric Association’s own website.

Full collection of Perfect: An alternative perspective on mental health and addiction can be found here

Whoop whoop!

My work here is done.

Trust yourselves.

You've got this. 👍

I am not a medical doctor and do not claim any information in this document or content to be a cure. This is my own understanding of how my "addiction" and "mental illness" worked, what both of these ultimately were ... and the approach I personally used to find a full and lasting recovery.

I do not endorse the information shared in K.I.S.S - Keep it Simple Sweetheart to be used in place of professional medical advice, support groups or specific therapies.

Please do not come off any prescribed medication without the guidance and support of a trained professional.

Please do not step away from any programs of treatment or support groups without the guidance and support of a trained professional.

https://3speak.tv/watch?v=nickydee/lxayhrwa
A snippet of a voice-note, randomly recorded during a walk in April 2022, on the content I've been trying to share in:

Perfect: An alternative perspective on mental health and addiction

A spontaneous voice-note ended up being, pretty much, the whole book!

The full version will be released on ThreeSpeak when the time is right. Until then, you can read the final chapter of Perfect, "But I Don't Have Trauma" if you're curious to know more about how this works.

The chapter on trauma is too long for a description here on ThreeSpeak, so if you're interested in reading more about how trauma "works" and why you (or your kids) may have it even if you aren't aware of it yet...

please head over to PeakD or Ecency to read the full post.

Chapter 3 is the final part of the book and this project is now complete.

You'll find a link on the full post to download a free pdf of the book (with a shortened version of chapter 2), which you're welcome to distribute and share.

Or you can read the full version here on Hive, if you prefer.

I'm busy ticking boxes and streamlining so that I can focus on my health and some necessary life admin now. I'll answer questions in the comments but please be patient as I'll be offline in patches to do the above. It's time!

I will always respond, though.

Eight or nine years of work on this particular project.

I've lost count...

I can't quite believe it's finally done! 😁

I hope it helps some people.

Keep on keeping on.

Recovery is possible ❤️

I do not endorse the information shared in K.I.S.S - Keep it Simple Sweetheart Perfect to be used in place of professional medical advice, support groups or specific therapies.

Please do not come off any prescribed medication without the guidance and support of a trained professional.

Please do not step away from any programs of treatment or support groups without the guidance and support of a trained professional.

Please consider adding the developer as a beneficiary for his ongoing work if you use an Arty Bot artwork. At this point it's unnecessary to use repetitive stock images. The only limit is your imagination.
Let's support members of our community first.

https://3speak.tv/watch?v=nickydee/kihjbawb
## The door

I mean

I know you're there and I'm here

and I don't even know you anyway

so this probably isn't any kind of love

Proper-ly

but it's the kind of love worth writing about

because it doesn't come with any of those conditions

so it’ll also probably never really begin

because you're me

I know

you're only me

See?

but I'm not allowed to

it might be considered a sin

I ask you

how can any kind of love be bad?

but I also know

I walk past the house that’s not a home as I think

too lost in thought

sometimes you need to stop seeing

I walk so far past the gate

It brings me to a sudden stop

have I been here before?

I squint

without my store bought lenses on

it is her

Perhaps I do have some icons left

after all

I stand there staring for a moment

then I begin to move instinctively again

as my curiosity overcomes

of the possibility of being impolite

it isn't only her

it's her everywhere and all over

I wonder who lives in this house

one day

the door is closed tight

perhaps it's a part-time place I think

unaware I'm lost again

but as I look back

that reveals she is Home

I know she is a woman

But I also know that's what makes her an artist

alone in that house

content

she's left this message on her door

to let people know

they do

she's accepted

I hope they hear her

Frieda must have been some kind of something, huh?

Being so much

I would knock on her door as well

to meet her

to Live

https://3speak.tv/watch?v=nickydee/ugdeeqjk
I'm kinda using the Wednesday Walk initiative, by @tattoodjay, to track our travels around the Western Cape in search of a forever-home-for-the-next-while.

So, this Wednesday Walk, the journey takes us from a No Longer a Wednesday Walk in Noordhoek, Cape Town...

to the first place we land in after we leave Cape Town...

Somerset West.

It's only just over thirty minutes from Cape Town, but the ride seems to take longer as the driver, Fahida, and I manage to share our almost entire histories with each other on the way.

We pull into Somerset West after what feels like a lifetime of sharing and she waits while I quickly unpack my few remaining belongings that are still far more than the guest house owners were expecting for a long term stay.

I see one of the owner's eyes widen in alarm as I cheerfully explain that I'm sticking stuff into storage the following week. It does kinda look like I'm moving in for good and he's clearly a bit rattled with the unusual situation, but kindly offers to let me leave it in the garage so we don't have to lug it upstairs.

He's spritely and fit for his age. He's also a little bit flirty. He enthusiastically grabs a few things and begins to help me carry them up to the flatlet, despite my insistence that I've got it and my outspoken concern for his back.

He's sweating and panting a bit by the time we're done.

But so am I, to be fair.

Nathan has yet to arrive and I unpack for him as well. I stick the Woo-man out, adding something familiar to the place, to make it feel a bit more like home for him.

I want Nathan to enjoy this experience as much as I already am.

The flatlet has a decent oven and I've already promised the owners some home baked cookies after seeing it.

I'm on a mission.

I can cook pretty well and love to do it, but I know little about baking.

I'm determined to learn it. And by learn it, I mean being able to whip up a kick-ass best you've ever tasted batch of cookies from memory. And a decent Baguette and Ciabatta as well.

For starters...

The opportunity to practice has presented itself at last!

We will stay with this lovely elderly couple for two weeks and one batch of pretty decent, but nowhere near spot on, chocolate chip cookies will be distributed between the four of us.

Unequally, because of a minor misunderstanding.

Nathan will remove four cookies from the container I set aside, to let them cool a bit, and I will eat more than half of them accidentally.

Even though Master Oogway would say "There are no accidents." *burp

Strangely enough...

I'll only take two photographs from the two weeks spent at that long term air BnB, even though we had the most beautiful stay there.

And, interestingly enough, it's at that table there, that I find my real writing voice again.

Because away from Cape Town, I begin to remember more of who I was before all of this crazy sh!t happened.

And it becomes quickly apparent that moving to a totally unfamiliar environment, with no reminders of my recent history or threat of bumping into them, is the best thing I could have done to help me let go of the past.

Nathan and I walk around the neighborhood plenty.

Mostly to the local garage shop because I'm enamoured at how quick and easy it is to get to it, after having to walk miles for anything in Noordhoek and always having to plan ahead.

This is so simple!

Heck. We walk there just to buy one small thing some days.

It also feels safe.

I can't quite explain how it feels to not feel safe in your own home.

A home is supposed to be a sanctuary but in Cape Town, after the chaotic few years, I began to jump every time the doorbell rang.

Even three years on, back in Noordhoek at the new place I found, which was almost thirty odd minutes away from my little cottage where the trouble began, I'd still get uneasy if I heard a car pull up outside.

Or saw a police car drive by the house.

Four years of this.

Four years of never feeling safe.

But as soon as I arrive in Somerset West...

I begin to relax a bit more again.

It is a safe neighbourhood though and we take the time to walk to the local common as well.

I sit with my feet in the running stream. We pet random dogs being walked by their owners. And we have our Harry Potter duels with wands. Yes. More than one.

Nathan always wins.

It's not because I let him win. It's because he knows more spells than I do. I've been remiss in my studies while he has been learning enthusiastically but sneakily.

Just opposite the garage shop is a skateboard park.

And just down the road between the skateboard park and the flatlet, is a Scouts' Hall. I stop to find out days and times and actually consider staying in the area because it's family orientated and peaceful.

But I no longer have much of a family.

On the corner just after the Scouts' premises is a dance hall with a big sign outside stating it's for hire. This would be perfect for... well... "Perfect". The donation based support groups and dance classes I wanted to set up, to teach teenagers how to regulate emotionally on their own.

To skill them up in a now too stressful world. To take what I've learned and use it for what it was intended for, when I began this journey so many years ago.

I never do find out the costs per hour though, even though I walk past it when the doors are open and someone is obviously there.

Apparently I'm either still not ready to commit; still not healed enough to take on such responsibility for others again; or Somerset West is not my true heart's calling.

Regardless, it's a fun and easy two weeks in the suburb and it shows in my writing.

Perhaps when we feel safe, and aren't treading water to survive so much, the mind has more space and focus to be creative.

I've read somewhere that it's good to allow children to become bored. It's been scientifically proven, apparently, that when this happens... the mind kicks into creative gear and the magic begins to happen.

I feel as though this is what happened for me during my stay in this benign and slow suburb. I wonder to myself, more than once, if this is worth staying for as well. Would it make this creating thing easier possibly?

But I also know that this is the exact life I was desperately trying to change in the first place. I still can't see the horizon and I feel as though I'm in limbo here. Cocooned and waiting...

Yes it is quieter, safer and more peaceful than Cape Town. But I've been down this road before...

and I know where it ends.

I stay with a friend in the suburb, for two more weeks, after Nathan leaves to spend time at his other home...

and then pack once again for the next part of the journey.

https://3speak.tv/watch?v=nickydee/abchdzka
This is actually an extremely late entry for Hive Open Mic 135, 136 and 137 all in one go.

It was a great few weeks of prompt journey that began with "Fight Oppression", moved on to "Let's Rock" and ended with "Healing" as themes and I was dead set on participating.

Thing is... I was on the go and both abode and tech wasn't in the flow.

I rambled around, outdoors for two days, trying to learn and record the first song. The wind was blowing, the sound was awful and folks also kept walking on by. I probably should have been born in Canada because I feel obliged to say hello to everyone so interruptions were many, mistakes were many (still learning the chords) and there was no way I could record it in the room I'd rented.

In short... there was no way I could make the deadline.

For any of the themes as it turned out! 😬

Nevertheless I persevered because, if there's one thing I've learned about Hive, folks around here are really chilled and forgiving about when and how. As long as you do.

I couldn't practice or record in the rental in Pringle Bay, because the place was made from Nutek and the sound carried big time. I could hear the thumping of footsteps upstairs frequently and I didn't want to bother anyone else in the place with my still being learned (after twenty odd years and sill can't actually play it properly) guitar.

Sound carries upwards apparently.

I eventually found a half built house down the road and meandered down at the end of a work day to record in an unfinished bathroom. We make a plan, right?

You'll see the first two songs move from late afternoon light into sunset as the daylight waned. I could hear the birds calling and even saw a few of them fly overhead as the roof still wasn't on the place. A sunset sky. A mistake or two as well, but it was getting cold and I just rolled with it.

Then sh!t happened and I had to leave the planned summer holiday with my son, that was definitely doing my health a ton of good, and relocate back to Somerset West for the next while or as soon as I can move on.

Nice suburb, but super suburban it is and I've now accepted that I'm wild at heart and need the open spaces to feel alive and to really thrive.

I've lost weight again and woke up coughing again this morning. The place we landed in on two days notice isn't ideal for us and the stress messes me up pretty quickly now. I'm trying to get further out of the city again as soon as possible...

Still... the internet here is affording me time to post some of the content I created in Pringle Bay over the last weeks and catch up a bit with belated prompts and old favourite initiatives here on Hive. Like Three Tune Tuesday, which is why I'm putting this up today.

Some incorrect lyrics. Some missed chords. But we focus on connection and not perfection, right?