If you own a Nissan Pathfinder R52 - please accept my sympathy. Nobody deserves that. But in ‘get even’ news, class action specialists, Bannister Law are considering taking Knee-sun out behind the woodshed over the appalling CVT transmission in the Pathfinder, which in my view, should be retrospectively renamed the ‘Shat’.

Some names: they just fit like a latex glove, don’t they? Bonus points for being the past participle of the verb - you don’t see that very often in car names.

According to the lawyers:

"We have received reports from registrants that: 1. the CVT is prone to causing sudden, unexpected shaking and violent jerking (ie. juddering or shuddering) when a driver attempts to accelerate; and 2. there exists other issues with acceleration."

If you’ve been ‘Shat’ on in this way, Bannister Law wants you to register online at bannisterlaw.com.au/nissan-cvt-investigation 

Remember what Volkswagen did for the reputation of dual-clutch transmissions? Like, Dresden on the morning of 16 February 1945? Well, those chumps at Knee-sun essentially managed the same thing with the R52 Shat, or Pathfinder, in respect of CVT reliability.

In the six long years Nissan has Shat upon owners, this noteworthy vehicle received numerous industry accolades. My personal favourite was its inclusion in the coveted top 30 used cars ‘never buy’ list from Consumer Reports. The R52 Shat made it to number 17 on that particular hit parade. The ‘never buy’ list. Well done there.

The Nissan Shat also made Consumer Reports top 10 worst cars list in 2014. Another highlight. That’s a real anti-achievement. Knee-sun also achieved ‘least reliable Japanese brand’ status in that year - yesssssss! With Consumer Reports nailing the coffin shut once and for all by categorising the Shat as being at (quote) ‘the bottom of its class for reliability’.

The designers of the Shat/Pathfinder/whatever cannot even hope to blame some third party transmission manufacturer for that vehicle’s pants-pooping proclivity.

The Shat’s disgracefully under-cooked XTronic CVT is made by a company you’ve probably never heard of, called JATCO, and Knee-sun owns 75 per cent of JATCO. Which is roughly equivalent to crapping in your own loungeroom.

So the Shat’s XTronic CVT is nothing more than an ongoing Knee-sun ‘own goal’.

Reliability of JATCO transmissions got so bad around 2014, that subsequently disgraced RenaultNissan boss Carlos Ghosn walked down the hall to the JATCO boardroom one fateful day in about 2014, with a three-foot razorblade fully withdrawn from its scabbard, and he did not return until the blood ran about eight inches deep on the floor.

It was all very ‘Kill Bill’. Tarantino would have been proud. 

Anyway, if your appalling R52 Knee-sun Shat has been driving you progressively insane, these past few years, and you’d like a bunch of rabid lawyers to slip one into Knee-sun on your behalf, you might like to visit Bannister Law’s website and spill your guts, in much the same way as your Shat has been spilling its.