Nitzotzos: Inspiration to Keep Your Spark Alive with Rav Mordechai Burg

Rav Burg explains the nature of Yud Tes Kislev at the 9 and a half minute mark.

The main sicha was given at the 47 minute mark.

In the final moments of her life Rachel Imeinu called her newborn son Ben Oni. In the very same passuk Yaakov calls the child Binyamin. 

Why doesn't Yaakov call Binyamin by the name Rachel chose for him? 

We know that Yaakov loved Rachel so deeply. Why do they spend their last moments on earth together fighting over the child's name?

Why does the Torah refer to Binyamin as Binyamin and not Ben Oni? Does Hashem somehow choose Yaakov's side over Rachel? Does Hashem ignore the wish of a dying Tzadeikes like Rachel?

In this shiur, Rav Burg explains how there was no argument at all between Yaakov and Rachel. Instead our Avos laid out some of the fundamental principles, indeed the blueprint, for how we parent children who are in pain. 

Interestingly, the first time the Torah ever says the word love is in the context of Yitzchak's marriage to Rivka. The Torah never says the word love in the context of Avraham's marriage to Sarah. The Torah does say that Yaakov loved Rachel but that was prior to their marriage. In this shiur, Rav Burg explores the nature of how we articulate emotions before relationships, within relationships and when we encounter various crisis in our lives.

In our eleventh shiur Rav Burg discusses: 1. How to build an effective rewards program. 2. The importance of short term and long term rewards. 3. The value in remaining emotionally detached. 

At the end of the shiur you ought to be able to answer the following questions clearly and concisely:

In our tenth shiur Rav Burg discusses: 1. The goal of a reward based motivational program. 2. The difference between a reward and a bribe. 3. The various steps needed to create a successful reward based motivational program  (ie. how to identify goals, set clear performance standards, select appropriate rewards etc...)

At the end of the shiur you ought to be able to answer the following questions clearly and concisely:

In our ninth shiur Rav Burg discusses: 1. Why does praise have an impact on a child? 2. The value of setting clear goals for our children. 3. What can we do when praise is not working as a motivational tool? 4. How to praise our children (ie. specificity, immediately, authentically, incrementally etc...) 5. What are the benefits of praise?

At the end of the shiur you ought to be able to answer the following questions clearly and concisely:

In our eighth shiur Rav Burg discusses: 1. Three different methods of responding to a child who does not buy into the motivational answer we have given them: a) exploring other answers to the child's questions b) wondering if there is another issue in the child's life that is an underlying issue preventing the child from accepting the answers they are being given c) expanding the Jewish "experience" of the child. 2) In a question and answer format Rav Burg responded to many questions regarding how to approach a child/teenager that is going off the derech or engaging in self destructive behavior. How do we balance creating boundaries and limits while maintaining the relationship with the child.