No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'

It looks like our number has come up. Andre and Jake are back to talk MR. MONK GETS LOTTO FEVER!

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If you happen to die sometime soon (as in, before this podcast ends), and a medium contacts you, instead of telling your loved ones that you are all right, tell them to listen to this podcast.

You are very smart for listening to this episode. Andre and Jake are here to talk MR. MONK AND THE GENIUS!

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Build a time machine, go back to Ancient Egypt, and get a scribe to write a recommendation to this podcast in hieroglyphics.

It's the beginning of season 7, so Andy B and Jake C put a down payment in on a forever home to talk MR. MONK BUYS A HOUSE!

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If you are a demon/ghost currently terrorizing an innocent family, next time you write them a message in blood, make it "LISTEN TO NO FUNKIN, STRICTLY MONKIN."

Your friends Andre and Jake finish out season six strong with MR. MONK IS ON THE RUN - PART 2!

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Commit a heinous crime, get convicted, and when it's your turn to speak at your sentencing hearing, instead of repenting, recommend this podcast to the judge, attorneys, and any onlookers.

Your friends Andre and Jake are back from a brief hiatus to discuss part one of the season six finale: MR. MONK IS ON THE RUN!

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Next time you go to a baseball game, instead of wishing someone a happy birthday on the Jumbo-Tron, ask them to put up a recommendation to this podcast.

A picture says a thousand words. And a podcast says at least two-thousand. Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK PAINTS HIS MASTERPIECE.

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Engrave the words "Listen to No Funkin, Strictly Monkin" onto a small piece of metal of some kind. Swallow that piece of metal. Go to the hospital and when they do an X-ray, say to the technician, "Maybe you should do what the piece of metal says."

I got bad news if your name is Julie Teeger - you have to listen to this podcast! Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK AND THE THREE JULIES!

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In the spirit of this episode, find someone on Facebook with your exact name and recommend this podcast to them.

We'd like to make a deposit: this podcast into your ears. Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK GOES TO THE BANK!

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If you are a producer on that new Game of Thrones prequel thing, get a Dothraki character to recommend this podcast in the Dothraki language.

In lieu of Kool-Aid, drink this podcast up! We're talking MR. MONK JOINS A CULT!

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Get someone in the $25 range on Cameo to record a recommendation to this podcast. The less-related to Monk, the better.

It would have been a silent night if not for the chopper singing out. Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK AND THE MAN WHO SHOT SANTA!

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I'll make this one simple. Mother's Day is coming up. Give your mother the gift of this podcast (unless she is offended by *repeated* mentions of cuckolding).