As survivors we can be prone to carry resentment.

It can feel as if we didn't get a fair deal and everyone else has it easier than us.

Holding on to resentment can be so damaging to our health, both phsically and mentally.

It can prevent us from realizing the blessings that we have and celebrating them.

Resentment is the opposite of gratitude and also has the opposite effect on our lives.

It is important to examine the resentment that we carry and understand where it comes from so we can learn how to let go of its hold on our lives.

Grief is something that we all end up having a some point in our lives. Most of us get through it as best as we can but we try not to dwell on it.

For survivors of abuse we are challenged by sometimes having considerably more loss in our lives than most other people, but that doesn't mean that we are better at handling it.

For some of us grief can be overwhelming and make us lose focus on what really matters in our lives.

How do we honor our grief and still function and thrive. That is the challenge that we have especially if we try not to face it because we are afraid of it taking over our lives.

We all go through grief so we might as well learn how to handle it.

https://www.nolongerashamed.org/

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What does it take to rebuild trust once it has been broken?

Trust is hard for survivors of abuse.

Trusting others and even trusting ourselves.

Trusting that we will honor our selves and our boundaries.

It is possible to rebuild that trust but it can take time and effort to be true to ourselves

It seems obvious what a survivor of abuse needs and what they should do.

They need counseling, they should address what happened to them, they should confront the perpetrator.

It's easy for us to want them to do this because we believe that it will help them.

But what if they aren't ready?

Can we still support them if they think that they don't need to do that?

Is what they really need just understanding and compassion?

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Why does judgement come so easy to us as survivors of abuse?

Why is it so difficult to give ourselves compassion?

The answers often come when we examine the way that we talk about and think about ourselves and where those thoughts originated from.

We were likely taught to be very judgemental about ourselves and perpetuate those lessons without even thinking about it.

It can change when we look at the way we think about and speak about ourselves and take the effort to change those narratives.

Self compassion can be the gift that we give ourselves that will also change the way that we treat others.

No Longer Ashamed

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It is reported that over half of abuse survivors feel guilty about something that they did when they were abused.

Over half!

These feelings of guilt can make it hard to want to tell anyone about what happened to them.

We know how hard it can be to talk about what happened to you when you are a survivor of abuse, but we also know how important it is to be able to talk about it.

If you are also feeling guilty about something that you did when you were abused that can make it even harder to want to start the journey of healing from the abuse.

Everyone who is a survivor of abuse deserves to get healing and for survivors that are feeling guilty about what they did when they were abused the healing can start by forgiving yourself.

You did not deserve what happened to you - It was not your fault!

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Vulnerability is so important for our healing.

But for survivors it can be so hard to be vulnerable because we are so afraid of being hurt again.

Espacially for men it can be harder because we are taught that being vulnerable is a sign of weakness.

It takes great courage to be vulnerable and it is a way of investing in our healing by showing that we do deserve to heal and our feelings are important.

By being vulnerable and sharing our feelings with someone safe we learn that can be an act of community with the people in our life that matters to us

https://www.nolongerashamed.org/

https://www.facebook.com/nolongerashamed.org/

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Often because of trauma survivors have an automatic, uncontolled response to perceived danger.

Are these responses really uncontollable? Or can we find ways to recognize and manage them?

What are the ways these responses affect us.

As survivors of trauma sometimes these responses cause their own trauma because we feel that we have no control over them.

Then we experience regret and grief about how we handle our response.

It can be helpful to recognize what our patterns are when we respond and what are the incidents that cause our reactions.

We are so excited to have our friend Sandra on as a guest again.

She has been very busy since we interviewed her back in episode 80.

She has been on mission trips to Thailand and Uganda and is planning to go back to Uganda for a year long trip!

All this while she has been writing a book that she is ready to publish soon.

So we are so thankful that she took the time to share with us all the amazing things that she has done and experienced on her trips.

She has witnessed some amazing healing that has been happening and we are so encouraged by the work that she has been doing.

Support Sandra's Mission to Uganda

https://www.zeffy.com/en-US/donation-form/sandra-horne

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Yes emotions are information but what are you going to do with that information?

It's not only important to recognize what your emotions are telling you but to take a moment to reflect on why you are having those feelings and what you want to do about that.

When you don't reflect on your emotions and try to understand why you are having them they can linger and cause physical and mental harm.

It can lead to fatigue, bitterness, anxiety, sleeplessness, distraction, confusion and problems with your appetite.

Taking a moment to reflect when you are experiencing strong emotions can be key to understanding where those emotions are coming from and how you want to handle them.

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